Guest guest Posted November 25, 2002 Report Share Posted November 25, 2002 Yup! I see what you mean, Hope! Not full support at all. At the time I thought it was, because he didn't question MY viewpoint, or think mother was right. He just questioned my inability to adjust and move on. He never understood the inner devestation I was going through, and neither did anyone else. So, I questioned why I couldn't just " move on " and why I was making such a big deal out of what was supposedly something so minor. But you're right, Hope. He didn't fully support me. SmileS! Carol Hope wrote: > > --- Carol M wrote: > << I had the full support and backing of my immediate > family (husband and adult children), but hubby would say > things like, " Just ignore her " , " Don't let her get to > you! " , " Will you just forget about it! " , " Move on " . I'm > sure you know the rhetoric. >> > > Hmmm. Carol, those quotes don't sound like 'full support > and backing'. > Hope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2002 Report Share Posted November 25, 2002 Yup! I see what you mean, Hope! Not full support at all. At the time I thought it was, because he didn't question MY viewpoint, or think mother was right. He just questioned my inability to adjust and move on. He never understood the inner devestation I was going through, and neither did anyone else. So, I questioned why I couldn't just " move on " and why I was making such a big deal out of what was supposedly something so minor. But you're right, Hope. He didn't fully support me. SmileS! Carol Hope wrote: > > --- Carol M wrote: > << I had the full support and backing of my immediate > family (husband and adult children), but hubby would say > things like, " Just ignore her " , " Don't let her get to > you! " , " Will you just forget about it! " , " Move on " . I'm > sure you know the rhetoric. >> > > Hmmm. Carol, those quotes don't sound like 'full support > and backing'. > Hope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2002 Report Share Posted November 25, 2002 Yup! I see what you mean, Hope! Not full support at all. At the time I thought it was, because he didn't question MY viewpoint, or think mother was right. He just questioned my inability to adjust and move on. He never understood the inner devestation I was going through, and neither did anyone else. So, I questioned why I couldn't just " move on " and why I was making such a big deal out of what was supposedly something so minor. But you're right, Hope. He didn't fully support me. SmileS! Carol Hope wrote: > > --- Carol M wrote: > << I had the full support and backing of my immediate > family (husband and adult children), but hubby would say > things like, " Just ignore her " , " Don't let her get to > you! " , " Will you just forget about it! " , " Move on " . I'm > sure you know the rhetoric. >> > > Hmmm. Carol, those quotes don't sound like 'full support > and backing'. > Hope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2002 Report Share Posted November 25, 2002 Some more thoughts........... Thanks, Hope, for making me think this through more thoroughly. As for my friends........ They sympathized with the nightmares I was experiencing, but they didn't understand how it was possible mother could do the things she was doing. Their advice and encouragement was always the same........ blood is thicker than water. Take care of her, even take over if necessary, because she was old and needy. If I didn't, I'd live to regret it when she was gone. As for my dad, who lives 3000 miles away......... (mother and dad divorced when I was a kid) He didn't care to listen to me wail. So, I tried not to talk about it during our one or two phone conversations per year. He truly knew what mother was like, more than anyone, and I desperately needed his insights and understanding, but he rarely shared them. Basically, he encouraged me to keep the peace. As for my brother, who lives with dad.......... He's alcoholic and BPD (I'm sure). He was a " bear " during those years and wouldn't even talk to me when I called dad. He also knows and understands what mother was like, but he couldn't be bothered with me. When things were the worst with mother, he was absolutely no support. His motto always was, " Is THAT all you can talk about? " Yet, when HE wanted to talk about mother, he could drone on endlessly, and that was okay. As for my children............. They didn't understand mother at all, other than she had a drinking problem, and she was making their mother extremely unhappy and miserable. I hated to dump on them, because it was their grandmother, but I sometimes couldn't help myself. I felt sooooooo guilty for setting such a horrible example for them, because one day I'd be old too, and would they treat ME like I was treating mother? That's all for now....... SmileS! Carol Hope wrote: > Hmmm. Carol, those quotes don't sound like 'full support > and backing'. Carol M wrote: > I had the full support and backing of my immediate > family (husband and adult children), but hubby would say > things like, " Just ignore her " , " Don't let her get to > you! " , " Will you just forget about it! " , " Move on " . I'm > sure you know the rhetoric. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2002 Report Share Posted November 25, 2002 Some more thoughts........... Thanks, Hope, for making me think this through more thoroughly. As for my friends........ They sympathized with the nightmares I was experiencing, but they didn't understand how it was possible mother could do the things she was doing. Their advice and encouragement was always the same........ blood is thicker than water. Take care of her, even take over if necessary, because she was old and needy. If I didn't, I'd live to regret it when she was gone. As for my dad, who lives 3000 miles away......... (mother and dad divorced when I was a kid) He didn't care to listen to me wail. So, I tried not to talk about it during our one or two phone conversations per year. He truly knew what mother was like, more than anyone, and I desperately needed his insights and understanding, but he rarely shared them. Basically, he encouraged me to keep the peace. As for my brother, who lives with dad.......... He's alcoholic and BPD (I'm sure). He was a " bear " during those years and wouldn't even talk to me when I called dad. He also knows and understands what mother was like, but he couldn't be bothered with me. When things were the worst with mother, he was absolutely no support. His motto always was, " Is THAT all you can talk about? " Yet, when HE wanted to talk about mother, he could drone on endlessly, and that was okay. As for my children............. They didn't understand mother at all, other than she had a drinking problem, and she was making their mother extremely unhappy and miserable. I hated to dump on them, because it was their grandmother, but I sometimes couldn't help myself. I felt sooooooo guilty for setting such a horrible example for them, because one day I'd be old too, and would they treat ME like I was treating mother? That's all for now....... SmileS! Carol Hope wrote: > Hmmm. Carol, those quotes don't sound like 'full support > and backing'. Carol M wrote: > I had the full support and backing of my immediate > family (husband and adult children), but hubby would say > things like, " Just ignore her " , " Don't let her get to > you! " , " Will you just forget about it! " , " Move on " . I'm > sure you know the rhetoric. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2002 Report Share Posted November 25, 2002 Some more thoughts........... Thanks, Hope, for making me think this through more thoroughly. As for my friends........ They sympathized with the nightmares I was experiencing, but they didn't understand how it was possible mother could do the things she was doing. Their advice and encouragement was always the same........ blood is thicker than water. Take care of her, even take over if necessary, because she was old and needy. If I didn't, I'd live to regret it when she was gone. As for my dad, who lives 3000 miles away......... (mother and dad divorced when I was a kid) He didn't care to listen to me wail. So, I tried not to talk about it during our one or two phone conversations per year. He truly knew what mother was like, more than anyone, and I desperately needed his insights and understanding, but he rarely shared them. Basically, he encouraged me to keep the peace. As for my brother, who lives with dad.......... He's alcoholic and BPD (I'm sure). He was a " bear " during those years and wouldn't even talk to me when I called dad. He also knows and understands what mother was like, but he couldn't be bothered with me. When things were the worst with mother, he was absolutely no support. His motto always was, " Is THAT all you can talk about? " Yet, when HE wanted to talk about mother, he could drone on endlessly, and that was okay. As for my children............. They didn't understand mother at all, other than she had a drinking problem, and she was making their mother extremely unhappy and miserable. I hated to dump on them, because it was their grandmother, but I sometimes couldn't help myself. I felt sooooooo guilty for setting such a horrible example for them, because one day I'd be old too, and would they treat ME like I was treating mother? That's all for now....... SmileS! Carol Hope wrote: > Hmmm. Carol, those quotes don't sound like 'full support > and backing'. Carol M wrote: > I had the full support and backing of my immediate > family (husband and adult children), but hubby would say > things like, " Just ignore her " , " Don't let her get to > you! " , " Will you just forget about it! " , " Move on " . I'm > sure you know the rhetoric. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2011 Report Share Posted August 16, 2011 So at a work function today....my boss ordered pizza for lunch.....I emailed my husband for support saying how frustrated I was (since pizza has been a huge trigger food for me in the past usually resulting in binging). I told him I was so upset that everyone will be eating it but me and I really wanted to join in! His response totally and completely cured me of wanting it and I wanted to share it with the group... " Really? You want that greasy, oily, salty mass of glutton churning up your innards? And with all the water you drink, that grease won't go down gently cuz oil and water don't mix... You really want that? " His response totally worked! I didn't want to eat it after reading that......it's so wonderful to get support from others during this journey. He was able to point out something I already knew but the information was buried under the panic I felt finding out that there was pizza coming for lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 16, 2011 Report Share Posted August 16, 2011 Eldred, As of today.....yes! lol ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2011 2:20 PM Subject: Re: support  > > So at a work function today....my boss ordered pizza for lunch.....I emailed my husband for support saying how frustrated I was (since pizza has been a huge trigger food for me in the past usually resulting in binging). I told him I was so upset that everyone will be eating it but me and I really wanted to join in! His response totally and completely cured me of wanting it and I wanted to share it with the group... > > " Really? You want that greasy, oily, salty mass of glutton churning up your innards? And with all the water you drink, that grease won't go down gently cuz oil and water don't mix... > > You really want that? " >  His response totally worked! I didn't want to eat it after reading that......it's so wonderful to get support from others during this journey. He was able to point out something I already knew but the information was buried under the panic I felt finding out that there was pizza coming for lunch. > Nice! So does that mean you no longer want pizza at ALL? Eldred Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 That is an excellent way to think of pizza. I should try to do the same with items like that. > > So at a work function today....my boss ordered pizza for lunch.....I emailed my husband for support saying how frustrated I was (since pizza has been a huge trigger food for me in the past usually resulting in binging). I told him I was so upset that everyone will be eating it but me and I really wanted to join in! His response totally and completely cured me of wanting it and I wanted to share it with the group... > > " Really? You want that greasy, oily, salty mass of glutton churning up your innards? And with all the water you drink, that grease won't go down gently cuz oil and water don't mix... > > You really want that? " > His response totally worked! I didn't want to eat it after reading that......it's so wonderful to get support from others during this journey. He was able to point out something I already knew but the information was buried under the panic I felt finding out that there was pizza coming for lunch. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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