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Re: Re: self sabotage

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Hi,

 

    So good to know that I am not the only one with this issue.  I, too,

zipped through the book and felt like I had a good handle on it and started

slimming down and WHAM!  I am back in the old cycle of uncontrolled eating. 

UGH!! 

Joyce

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2012 10:36 AM

Subject: Re: self sabotage

 

Ditto !

It's a very frustrating thing. Even the past month when I found renee podcast I

felt my body slimming down and got very excited. I read through the book quickly

and still felt good.then wouldn't you know I started binging more than I had

been and am back in the Sam place. Now I'm going throng the book slowly and

weekly as intended and loving and accepting myself at this weight..while trying

to figure out my limiting beliefs and positive intent for being at this weight..

> > Every time I loose a couple pounds or start feeling looser in my clothes, I

start eating more or eating more sweets and regain a pound or two.....I feel

like a yoyo.  I am trying to find the limited belief(s) that causes me to do

that and so far am unable.  What causes this self sabotaging? Any idea?  Help.

> >

> >

> >

>

> I had the same thing happen late last year. I've been near 215 for a

> long time. But at one point, I was cooking more at home, and cutting

> down on fast food. I got down to about 204. I thought, " That's cool

> - I can finally get below 200 in a few weeks. " So what did I do that

> weekend? Pigged out, and went back up to about 210. And eventually

> got back to 215, which is NOT a good weight for me. Weird...

>

> Eldred

> --

> Raising money for Make-a-Wish!  Donation page at http://wam300.org

>

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Interesting....I can relate to some of this. Thanks for sharing.

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 7:24 AM

Subject: Re: self sabotage

 

I had a revelation last week about my sabotaging. I've lost most of the weight

I wanted to, but the last half stone just evades me and a put a bit back on, so

it is more than half a stone to go. Pretty annoying after at least a year being

at this point.

I had a fear that I too would find that at goal there were other things to deal

with. I genuinely couldn't think what this would be though and I was concerned

there might be a hidden deep dark secret.

And then suddenly I saw it was the opposite. Without the " being a bit

overweight " I would have actually have a totally fabulous life and then I would

feel really guilty. I have a lovely home, job, husband, family, enough money,

my health, great friends, rewarding hobby but other people around me don't have

all those things or even half of them. While I have the weight thing, life

isn't perfect and I can look them in the face about all the other lucky lovely

things I have in my life.

I have told myself it was ok to have all of that. I just was very lucky and was

grateful for it all, not taking it for granted and arrogant. Since then the

pounds are slipping away again and it is easy once more.

Who knows I might make it this time. I have set my intent to enjoy it anyway.

Viv

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Good question .

> >

> > I am at a point where I am stuck too. I am not sure if it is a comfort in

> > stress thing, which is what it feels like, or if it is just the old fear of

> > being attractive. I do know that there was a strong element of " fat as

> > adultery repellent " that I was glued to at my heaviest. I gained weight out

> > of sheer fear. I did not trust myself to look half way nice. I may be

> > cycling back through that at my current weight. Last time I lost a bunch of

> > weight, I did end up having an affair. Mind you at the time I was also

> > dealing with stress in a highly destructive way, damaging my moral compass

> > and my perspectives and standards by self-soothing with pornography. I am

> > dealing with that addictive behaviour much more effectively now though.

> >

> > I may need to develop more of the helpful stress relief tools I have

> > found, or I may have to be more intentional about USING them consistently

> > and naturally before I can feel safe losing the rest of the weight. This

> > afternoon I plan to go for a nice long walk. That is a literal and

> > figurative step in the right direction. Once I can afford it, I would like

> > to buy another unicycle. I enjoyed practicing that and was just getting

> > going on it, but gave it to my son. He rides it well and uses it to commute

> > to class where he lives. Giving it away may have been a bit of subconscious

> > self-sabotage.

> >

> >

> > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

> > Freelance Musician

> > 426 Pinehouse Drive

> > Saskatoon Sk

> > S7K4X5

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> >

> > To: insideoutweightloss

> > Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 8:56:51 AM

> > Subject: self sabotage

> >

> >

> >

> > Every time I loose a couple pounds or start feeling looser in my clothes,

> > I start eating more or eating more sweets and regain a pound or two.....I

> > feel like a yoyo. I am trying to find the limited belief(s) that causes me

> > to do that and so far am unable. What causes this self sabotaging? Any

> > idea? Help.

> >

> >

> >

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Self sabotage...this is the hardest part for me to realize.  I know I mentally

do this to myself and I don't know why.  You are all helping me to see that I

too have a fear of looking good.  I had a revelation reading your comments in

the feed below.  I think I'm afraid that if I actually look good, I will act or

be irresponsible like I was in my twenties.  Maybe I won't be taken

seriously...It's been two years since I lost twenty pounds.  I've kept it off,

but haven't dropped any more even though my exercise is increasing.  Last

January, I dropped five or so more and a guy at work made a comment talking

about " look who lost weight, she's looking good " to another male coworker in the

hallway and I could overhear them.  I pretended not to notice and I immediately

froze up.  I think I'm starting to understand myself a little bit more.  Thank

you all for your comments because I had totally forgotten that episode at

work.  I'm not quite there yet,

but I'm trying.

 

Good luck to you all in your transformation process.

Tori

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 6:09 PM

Subject: Re: Re: self sabotage

 

Interesting....I can relate to some of this. Thanks for sharing.

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 7:24 AM

Subject: Re: self sabotage

 

I had a revelation last week about my sabotaging. I've lost most of the weight

I wanted to, but the last half stone just evades me and a put a bit back on, so

it is more than half a stone to go. Pretty annoying after at least a year being

at this point.

I had a fear that I too would find that at goal there were other things to deal

with. I genuinely couldn't think what this would be though and I was concerned

there might be a hidden deep dark secret.

And then suddenly I saw it was the opposite. Without the " being a bit

overweight " I would have actually have a totally fabulous life and then I would

feel really guilty. I have a lovely home, job, husband, family, enough money,

my health, great friends, rewarding hobby but other people around me don't have

all those things or even half of them. While I have the weight thing, life

isn't perfect and I can look them in the face about all the other lucky lovely

things I have in my life.

I have told myself it was ok to have all of that. I just was very lucky and was

grateful for it all, not taking it for granted and arrogant. Since then the

pounds are slipping away again and it is easy once more.

Who knows I might make it this time. I have set my intent to enjoy it anyway.

Viv

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > Good question .

> >

> > I am at a point where I am stuck too. I am not sure if it is a comfort in

> > stress thing, which is what it feels like, or if it is just the old fear of

> > being attractive. I do know that there was a strong element of " fat as

> > adultery repellent " that I was glued to at my heaviest. I gained weight out

> > of sheer fear. I did not trust myself to look half way nice. I may be

> > cycling back through that at my current weight. Last time I lost a bunch of

> > weight, I did end up having an affair. Mind you at the time I was also

> > dealing with stress in a highly destructive way, damaging my moral compass

> > and my perspectives and standards by self-soothing with pornography. I am

> > dealing with that addictive behaviour much more effectively now though.

> >

> > I may need to develop more of the helpful stress relief tools I have

> > found, or I may have to be more intentional about USING them consistently

> > and naturally before I can feel safe losing the rest of the weight. This

> > afternoon I plan to go for a nice long walk. That is a literal and

> > figurative step in the right direction. Once I can afford it, I would like

> > to buy another unicycle. I enjoyed practicing that and was just getting

> > going on it, but gave it to my son. He rides it well and uses it to commute

> > to class where he lives. Giving it away may have been a bit of subconscious

> > self-sabotage.

> >

> >

> > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

> > Freelance Musician

> > 426 Pinehouse Drive

> > Saskatoon Sk

> > S7K4X5

> >

> >

> > ________________________________

> >

> > To: insideoutweightloss

> > Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 8:56:51 AM

> > Subject: self sabotage

> >

> >

> >

> > Every time I loose a couple pounds or start feeling looser in my clothes,

> > I start eating more or eating more sweets and regain a pound or two.....I

> > feel like a yoyo. I am trying to find the limited belief(s) that causes me

> > to do that and so far am unable. What causes this self sabotaging? Any

> > idea? Help.

> >

> >

> >

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Guest guest

Ouch.

Thanks Tori. This triggered something deep inside me. My story is a bit

different. In my twenties I was extremely isolated and sexually dysfunctional. I

had never had any experience with a serious " relationship. " I was not

emotionally mature enough to enter one. And I was ethically wired to fear and

flee any hint of a casual sexual relationship. I had lots of casual friends and

a few close friends. I was totally intimidated by anyone I found attractive. In

part it was a distrust of myself, not knowing what I would do, and being raised

within an atmosphere of sexual suppression. I felt very immature and completely

out of my depth. I felt incompetent. If I were as slim now as I was then,

perhaps it is " going back there " in my mind that terrifies me.

I know this is utterly ridiculous. Emotions can be that way. Perhaps there is an

agreement deep inside me that if I were slender and physically fit like I was

back then (and I was fit and slender) other parts of the " then me " would also

become true again. Rationally I know that I am now no longer who I was then in

most ways. This is an agreement that needs to be dissolved. My self-mastery

course teaches that the best way to do that is to use the power of doubt. I can

question how much sense this makes. I can question if it is still true for me.

Got some work for me to do here.

I enjoyed my first day of flat-deck trucking yesterday, delivering 2 loads of

lumber to building supply stores. It was fun but in the process of learning to

do the straps good and tight and safe, I bopped myself on the head with a steel

bar. Just a tap, but I may have been slightly concussed as I did not feel well

this morning, and I even threw up. I am taking it easy for a few days. Going for

an extra relaxed and slow walk today. Trying to be good to myself. I am worth

that much.

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 11:43:08 PM

Subject: Re: Re: self sabotage

 

Self sabotage...this is the hardest part for me to realize.  I know I mentally

do this to myself and I don't know why.  You are all helping me to see that I

too have a fear of looking good.  I had a revelation reading your comments in

the feed below.  I think I'm afraid that if I actually look good, I will act or

be irresponsible like I was in my twenties.

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Guest guest

You're making some good connections Carlton. You have life experience and wisdom

on your side now. I'm sure you've evolved over the years as we all have.

Take care of yourself. It sounds like you may have had more than a tap.

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2012 3:05 PM

Subject: Re: Re: self sabotage

 

Ouch.

Thanks Tori. This triggered something deep inside me. My story is a bit

different. In my twenties I was extremely isolated and sexually dysfunctional. I

had never had any experience with a serious " relationship. " I was not

emotionally mature enough to enter one. And I was ethically wired to fear and

flee any hint of a casual sexual relationship. I had lots of casual friends and

a few close friends. I was totally intimidated by anyone I found attractive. In

part it was a distrust of myself, not knowing what I would do, and being raised

within an atmosphere of sexual suppression. I felt very immature and completely

out of my depth. I felt incompetent. If I were as slim now as I was then,

perhaps it is " going back there " in my mind that terrifies me.

I know this is utterly ridiculous. Emotions can be that way. Perhaps there is an

agreement deep inside me that if I were slender and physically fit like I was

back then (and I was fit and slender) other parts of the " then me " would also

become true again. Rationally I know that I am now no longer who I was then in

most ways. This is an agreement that needs to be dissolved. My self-mastery

course teaches that the best way to do that is to use the power of doubt. I can

question how much sense this makes. I can question if it is still true for me.

Got some work for me to do here.

I enjoyed my first day of flat-deck trucking yesterday, delivering 2 loads of

lumber to building supply stores. It was fun but in the process of learning to

do the straps good and tight and safe, I bopped myself on the head with a steel

bar. Just a tap, but I may have been slightly concussed as I did not feel well

this morning, and I even threw up. I am taking it easy for a few days. Going for

an extra relaxed and slow walk today. Trying to be good to myself. I am worth

that much.

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 11:43:08 PM

Subject: Re: Re: self sabotage

 

Self sabotage...this is the hardest part for me to realize.  I know I mentally

do this to myself and I don't know why.  You are all helping me to see that I

too have a fear of looking good.  I had a revelation reading your comments in

the feed below.  I think I'm afraid that if I actually look good, I will act or

be irresponsible like I was in my twenties.

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

Hi all.

Feeling better today. I had a good night's sleep. It is raining out so my walk

will be probably cut short a bit. I did walk yesterday but took it very easy.

Today I plan to move some things around in the garage to make room for bicycles.

Also plan to do some reading. Pretty noisy in the house right now with my wife

playing music loud, hitting her tambourine and stomping about doing her

exercises. I may do my relaxed walk during the stomp storm! LOL I feel that I am

somehow turning a corner or two. I am ready to let go of some old stories and

agreements. At least I think I have uncovered some I was not aware of in quite

this way.

 

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

________________________________

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2012 7:33:34 PM

Subject: Re: Re: self sabotage

 

You're making some good connections Carlton. You have life experience and wisdom

on your side now. I'm sure you've evolved over the years as we all have.

Take care of yourself. It sounds like you may have had more than a tap.

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