Re: A Newbie and Not Sure If This Group Is For Me

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

First, welcome! I appreciate your apprehension in coming here and starting this

journey. I still from time to time question if this is right for me and I've

been at it since January.

One thing I have learned so far is that here you are among friends. It is both

OK to succeed and to feel like you have failed. Both can teach you something.

Just so you know, one thing thought to myself when I read your post was how very

strong of a person you sound like. Working in a career track job, staying free

of drug addiction, taking the first steps in looking at yourself. That is

STRENGTH!

If I could offer one bit of advice in this moment it is to remember that the

first step is always to love yourself for who you are now. Every time I slip up,

every time I retreat to old habits (like this afternoon's bowl of cookie dough

with my son), every time I want to throw my hands up with the thought that I

cannot or will not ever loose weight, I try to go back fist to that place where

I love who I am. Now. As I am. From that, anything is possible.

Welcome.

Amy Lawyer

>

> Hello everyone...hope you are enjoying your weekend.

>

> My name is and I am a 41 year old who has been emotionally

eating/binging for as long as I can remember. I have never sought help and I

have never admitted this to anyone (except you all, of course) This is the

biggest source of shame in my life. I've always been quite proud (even smug,

maybe?) that unlike my mother, father, and stepfather, I never succumbed to drug

addiction....but I didn't really escape it, did I? I didn't escape the need to

numb, self-indulge, escape, etc, did I? I am just as weak as they are....I am

just more functional/fortunate due to my drug of choice.

>

> I have gone through and journaled the first two chapters of the book and am

overwhelmed by what I have discovered about myself. In an nutshell, I have

realized that for my entire life, I have attempted to be as small and as

pleasing and as unbudenable (is that even a word?) and unbothersome as humanely

possible. If I died today, they would put on my tombstone, " She never bothered

anybody....She never demanded anything...She always did what she was told...She

never called in sick...She was never late for work " Food is my ONE indulgence

in life....I mean except having to " bother " the grocery check out clerk for a

few seconds....I am not putting anyone out by stuffing my face. Eating, is

sadly, my preferred method of self-care.

>

> This is all complicated by my job. I have been an inner city ER/trauma nurse

for 15+ years....I am now working in a military hospital. As you can imagine,

to avoid burnout self-care is important in this job....and BIG NEWS...my current

coping mechanism has been an epic fail-LOL, I have tried massages and other spa

services..but the whole time I am in my head fretting about putting the person

out that is attending to me...I kid you not..I am that bad..I am so bad that

even eating out is an issue... I have to clean and stack my plates and tip VERY

generously and NEVER complain how bad the service/food is in order to enjoy it

the tiniest bit. I have seriously considered talking to a therapist about these

things....but I don't want to bother them...waaaaay too self-indugent, IMO. I

would worry about the people that need the services more than I do..people with

sexual abuse, PTSD, etc.

>

> I only comfortable giving...NEVER receiving...being strong...NEVER

weak....being helpful...NEVER helpless. And PLEASE....don't think me saintly

or any such nonsense. The amount of internal resentment and anger this builds

up is better left unmentioned. Because you see...it's not that I don't want to

be a recipient or don't want to be weak...or that I sometimes don't feel

helpless...it's that I feel I don't have the RIGHT to be any of those things

.....does that even make sense?!? And to makes matters worse...every day in my

job, I take care of people that make it a lifetime career to be ALL those

things.

>

> This book and joining this group is an attempt to get to the bottom of all

this. My one concern is due to several posts I have read about " not eating

sugar, fat, carbs, etc " I have been there and done all that (and lost

weight...for the record I probably have about 40 lbs to lose). I don't want to

regard certain foods as " good/bad " I want to step off that merry-go-round. I

want to eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. I want to choose food

that makes me feel good..and yes...sometimes a small amount of a perfectly made

creme brulee is going to make me feel good:-) I live in Europe and somehow they

all stay skinny eating the most amazing food you can possibly imagine. I want

to be like the French...and have 3 bites of the most decadent delicious desert

and be 100% satisfied without having to eat the whole pan and without having to

have it everyday. A french woman once told me " We believe in eating

anything/everything you want...just not all at the same time and not too much of

it " IMO..that is a healthy attitude towards food.

>

> I haven't read further into the book (don't want to skip sections) so not sure

if cutting out whole food groups is what is advocated...I really hope not....I

was really hoping to delve into the emotional part of my eating...

>

> Oh..and let me close by saying that this is NOT a criticism of those that have

had success and found fulfillment through cutting out certain things. People

should do what works for them...I just want clarification if this is what is

advocated for everyone.

>

> Well..thank you for reading a rambling e-mail that went a lot longer than I

intended:-O

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

Welcome.

If you want this group for you then this is your group. Lots of similar

struggles.

I can identify with a lot of what you said.

First up, food is definitely a drug of choice. All the same issues. But you

know that already.

The thing I really clicked in with is the part you were saying about working in

ER /Trauma. I worked in hospital setting most of my adult life as a social

worker. I did the same thing. Coming home from a hard days work and stuffing

because I didn't want to think about just how shi--y some people have it. Sorry

for my language, its strong I guess for this group setting but those feelings

can be quite strong as well. What I really should have done is sat down

somewhere peaceful when I came home and think about it and let myself have a

cry. A good cry. Staying with the feelings instead of stuffing them. And that

is what I am trying to do with other things now- trying to go with the wave of

emotion and let it out instead of stuffing it. Much sadness to look at face to

face when you work with humanity in this way.

My best to you. Hope you stay with us. So far I have been helped so much by

the words of this group. Whether I respond or not, it doesnt matter. Words of

other members to those in need are both synonymous to my struggle. Either in a

small way or a large way, but I always seem to identify.

I am very glad for this group!

The very best to you.

>

> Hello everyone...hope you are enjoying your weekend.

>

> My name is and I am a 41 year old who has been emotionally

eating/binging for as long as I can remember. I have never sought help and I

have never admitted this to anyone (except you all, of course) This is the

biggest source of shame in my life. I've always been quite proud (even smug,

maybe?) that unlike my mother, father, and stepfather, I never succumbed to drug

addiction....but I didn't really escape it, did I? I didn't escape the need to

numb, self-indulge, escape, etc, did I? I am just as weak as they are....I am

just more functional/fortunate due to my drug of choice.

>

> I have gone through and journaled the first two chapters of the book and am

overwhelmed by what I have discovered about myself. In an nutshell, I have

realized that for my entire life, I have attempted to be as small and as

pleasing and as unbudenable (is that even a word?) and unbothersome as humanely

possible. If I died today, they would put on my tombstone, " She never bothered

anybody....She never demanded anything...She always did what she was told...She

never called in sick...She was never late for work " Food is my ONE indulgence

in life....I mean except having to " bother " the grocery check out clerk for a

few seconds....I am not putting anyone out by stuffing my face. Eating, is

sadly, my preferred method of self-care.

>

> This is all complicated by my job. I have been an inner city ER/trauma nurse

for 15+ years....I am now working in a military hospital. As you can imagine,

to avoid burnout self-care is important in this job....and BIG NEWS...my current

coping mechanism has been an epic fail-LOL, I have tried massages and other spa

services..but the whole time I am in my head fretting about putting the person

out that is attending to me...I kid you not..I am that bad..I am so bad that

even eating out is an issue... I have to clean and stack my plates and tip VERY

generously and NEVER complain how bad the service/food is in order to enjoy it

the tiniest bit. I have seriously considered talking to a therapist about these

things....but I don't want to bother them...waaaaay too self-indugent, IMO. I

would worry about the people that need the services more than I do..people with

sexual abuse, PTSD, etc.

>

> I only comfortable giving...NEVER receiving...being strong...NEVER

weak....being helpful...NEVER helpless. And PLEASE....don't think me saintly

or any such nonsense. The amount of internal resentment and anger this builds

up is better left unmentioned. Because you see...it's not that I don't want to

be a recipient or don't want to be weak...or that I sometimes don't feel

helpless...it's that I feel I don't have the RIGHT to be any of those things

.....does that even make sense?!? And to makes matters worse...every day in my

job, I take care of people that make it a lifetime career to be ALL those

things.

>

> This book and joining this group is an attempt to get to the bottom of all

this. My one concern is due to several posts I have read about " not eating

sugar, fat, carbs, etc " I have been there and done all that (and lost

weight...for the record I probably have about 40 lbs to lose). I don't want to

regard certain foods as " good/bad " I want to step off that merry-go-round. I

want to eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. I want to choose food

that makes me feel good..and yes...sometimes a small amount of a perfectly made

creme brulee is going to make me feel good:-) I live in Europe and somehow they

all stay skinny eating the most amazing food you can possibly imagine. I want

to be like the French...and have 3 bites of the most decadent delicious desert

and be 100% satisfied without having to eat the whole pan and without having to

have it everyday. A french woman once told me " We believe in eating

anything/everything you want...just not all at the same time and not too much of

it " IMO..that is a healthy attitude towards food.

>

> I haven't read further into the book (don't want to skip sections) so not sure

if cutting out whole food groups is what is advocated...I really hope not....I

was really hoping to delve into the emotional part of my eating...

>

> Oh..and let me close by saying that this is NOT a criticism of those that have

had success and found fulfillment through cutting out certain things. People

should do what works for them...I just want clarification if this is what is

advocated for everyone.

>

> Well..thank you for reading a rambling e-mail that went a lot longer than I

intended:-O

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

First of all--I started with IOWL specifically looking for a program that would

allow me to eat small amounts of " bad " foods on occasion without going into that

downward spiral into binge-land. I was tired of being what calls " slim,

but weird around food. " (I lost weight through very strict adherence to calorie

counting and lots of exercise. I sustained the loss for around 2 years, but then

got tired of doing things like sneaking away to eat my own food during community

events. Started gaining back--but found IOWL before I reached the " gain it all

back plus more " stage.) I still choose to eat mostly unprocessed foods, as much

plant based as possible--but I am no longer afraid to have three bites of one of

those delicious decadent desserts. 

Secondly, that feeling of not deserving is very, very common among addicts of

any sort. And it [ahem] feeds on itself--the more you feel like you're giving

into your binges, the more you feel like you don't deserve good things. But you

do deserve it. We all do. I think you made a very good first step by posting

here. You deserve to be heard--just like the rest of us on the group. **

The feeling of wanting to be very good--not wanting to cause problems, to be a

burden--is pretty common among children of addicts, I believe. Don't stir the

pot--you don't know what'll boil over if you do. 

But you can ask for help for yourself without being a bother. You are not a

burden to the masseuse when you get a massage. In fact, you are probably making

them very happy by filling a time slot. You are not taking away time from

someone with a " more serious problem " if you go to a therapist. If the therapist

is so busy there is no extra time slot--it's the therapists job to let you know,

and to recommend someone else. One of the lessons I've learned on this journey

through life (and I'm almost 46, so I've got tons more experience! LOL!) is that

you can't compare pain. You have a problem that is keeping you from enjoying

your best life. So does someone with PTSD, or a history of sexual abuse. You all

deserve help... *we* all deserve help. It is not self-indulgent to ask for help

when you need it. 

If I can make a suggestion--I have a strong feeling you would benefit from

*hearing* 's words, not just reading them. Check out the podcasts

at http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/216-inside-out-weight-loss --even if

you only listen to the prolog (either #0 or #208). You might find that listening

to 's voice and doing the guided journeys will give you a coping mechanism

to start with, as you build other coping mechanisms unrelated to food. 

**We all deserve to be answered, too--but sometimes someone will write something

and there's no response. If this happens, post again! I for one will save

messages for weeks until I have time to come back and respond.... This is a

general public service announcement to EVERYONE! LOL!

>________________________________

>

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Saturday, May 12, 2012 7:59 PM

>Subject: A Newbie and Not Sure If This Group Is For Me

>

>

> 

>Hello everyone...hope you are enjoying your weekend.

>

>My name is and I am a 41 year old who has been emotionally

eating/binging for as long as I can remember. I have never sought help and I

have never admitted this to anyone (except you all, of course) This is the

biggest source of shame in my life. I've always been quite proud (even smug,

maybe?) that unlike my mother, father, and stepfather, I never succumbed to drug

addiction....but I didn't really escape it, did I? I didn't escape the need to

numb, self-indulge, escape, etc, did I? I am just as weak as they are....I am

just more functional/fortunate due to my drug of choice.

>

>I have gone through and journaled the first two chapters of the book and am

overwhelmed by what I have discovered about myself. In an nutshell, I have

realized that for my entire life, I have attempted to be as small and as

pleasing and as unbudenable (is that even a word?) and unbothersome as humanely

possible. If I died today, they would put on my tombstone, " She never bothered

anybody....She never demanded anything...She always did what she was told...She

never called in sick...She was never late for work " Food is my ONE indulgence

in life....I mean except having to " bother " the grocery check out clerk for a

few seconds....I am not putting anyone out by stuffing my face. Eating, is

sadly, my preferred method of self-care.

>

>This is all complicated by my job. I have been an inner city ER/trauma nurse

for 15+ years....I am now working in a military hospital. As you can imagine,

to avoid burnout self-care is important in this job....and BIG NEWS...my current

coping mechanism has been an epic fail-LOL, I have tried massages and other spa

services..but the whole time I am in my head fretting about putting the person

out that is attending to me...I kid you not..I am that bad..I am so bad that

even eating out is an issue... I have to clean and stack my plates and tip VERY

generously and NEVER complain how bad the service/food is in order to enjoy it

the tiniest bit. I have seriously considered talking to a therapist about these

things....but I don't want to bother them...waaaaay too self-indugent, IMO. I

would worry about the people that need the services more than I do..people with

sexual abuse, PTSD, etc.

>

>I only comfortable giving...NEVER receiving...being strong...NEVER

weak....being helpful...NEVER helpless. And PLEASE....don't think me saintly

or any such nonsense. The amount of internal resentment and anger this builds

up is better left unmentioned. Because you see...it's not that I don't want to

be a recipient or don't want to be weak...or that I sometimes don't feel

helpless...it's that I feel I don't have the RIGHT to be any of those things

.....does that even make sense?!? And to makes matters worse...every day in my

job, I take care of people that make it a lifetime career to be ALL those

things.

>

>This book and joining this group is an attempt to get to the bottom of all

this. My one concern is due to several posts I have read about " not eating

sugar, fat, carbs, etc " I have been there and done all that (and lost

weight...for the record I probably have about 40 lbs to lose). I don't want to

regard certain foods as " good/bad " I want to step off that merry-go-round. I

want to eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. I want to choose food

that makes me feel good..and yes...sometimes a small amount of a perfectly made

creme brulee is going to make me feel good:-) I live in Europe and somehow they

all stay skinny eating the most amazing food you can possibly imagine. I want

to be like the French...and have 3 bites of the most decadent delicious desert

and be 100% satisfied without having to eat the whole pan and without having to

have it everyday. A french woman once told me " We believe in eating

anything/everything you want...just not

all at the same time and not too much of it " IMO..that is a healthy attitude

towards food.

>

>I haven't read further into the book (don't want to skip sections) so not sure

if cutting out whole food groups is what is advocated...I really hope not....I

was really hoping to delve into the emotional part of my eating...

>

>Oh..and let me close by saying that this is NOT a criticism of those that have

had success and found fulfillment through cutting out certain things. People

should do what works for them...I just want clarification if this is what is

advocated for everyone.

>

>Well..thank you for reading a rambling e-mail that went a lot longer than I

intended:-O

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome !

I applaud you BIG TIME on taking this HUGE significant step by sharing

yourself and reaching out for help. I assure you, you are not alone

and many of us have similar stories. We can all certainly relate to

making food our BFF and our " drug " of choice and feeling the

tremendous shame. The good news is once you start on this journey

(which you have by simply posting) you will lose the shame and gain

tremendous self-esteem which will help you in all areas of your life.

You will discover all sorts of new coping mechanisms and have lots of

tools to help you deal with your incredibly noble but stressful job.

You will be able to relax and enjoy a massage because you deserve it!

I sound like a salesperson here. LOL But, I'm incredibly excited for

you because I sense you are ready for a major shift in your life!!

The great news is that you can eat everything and anything, if you

choose. There are no restrictions. You will discover what works best

for you. I eat chocolate almost everyday. I eat ice cream several

times a week. I eat lots of fruits and vegetables because I ADORE them

and CRAVE them. There are no good and bad foods in my book. Many

people here have discovered on their journey that sugar makes them

crave more or that eating mostly meat makes them feel better. Each

person has their own path to follow. For now, you need to feel like

you can eat whatever you desire and that may evolve. What happened

for me is that instead of consuming an entire box of chocolates I can

now eat one or two pieces mindfully, joyfully and feel completely and

totally satisfied. I eat chips to enjoy the crunch, the salt and the

flavor not to bury my anger and frustration as I had in the past. I

stop eating when I'm almost full. I have come to enjoy my hunger by

never letting myself get too hungry. When I do eat more than I need I

simply self-correct and carry on. I put down the whip and pick up the

feather.

Try listening to the podcasts as has lots of guided journeys

which will help you in conjunction with the book. Keep reaching out

for help and guidance when you need it; that process alone will move

you leaps and bounds in your life!!

With much love and many many hugs,

> Hello everyone...hope you are enjoying your weekend.

>

> My name is and I am a 41 year old who has been emotionally

> eating/binging for as long as I can remember. I have never sought

> help and I have never admitted this to anyone (except you all, of

> course) This is the biggest source of shame in my life. I've always

> been quite proud (even smug, maybe?) that unlike my mother, father,

> and stepfather, I never succumbed to drug addiction....but I didn't

> really escape it, did I? I didn't escape the need to numb, self-

> indulge, escape, etc, did I? I am just as weak as they are....I am

> just more functional/fortunate due to my drug of choice.

>

> I have gone through and journaled the first two chapters of the book

> and am overwhelmed by what I have discovered about myself. In an

> nutshell, I have realized that for my entire life, I have attempted

> to be as small and as pleasing and as unbudenable (is that even a

> word?) and unbothersome as humanely possible. If I died today, they

> would put on my tombstone, " She never bothered anybody....She never

> demanded anything...She always did what she was told...She never

> called in sick...She was never late for work " Food is my ONE

> indulgence in life....I mean except having to " bother " the grocery

> check out clerk for a few seconds....I am not putting anyone out by

> stuffing my face. Eating, is sadly, my preferred method of self-care.

>

> This is all complicated by my job. I have been an inner city ER/

> trauma nurse for 15+ years....I am now working in a military

> hospital. As you can imagine, to avoid burnout self-care is

> important in this job....and BIG NEWS...my current coping mechanism

> has been an epic fail-LOL, I have tried massages and other spa

> services..but the whole time I am in my head fretting about putting

> the person out that is attending to me...I kid you not..I am that

> bad..I am so bad that even eating out is an issue... I have to clean

> and stack my plates and tip VERY generously and NEVER complain how

> bad the service/food is in order to enjoy it the tiniest bit. I have

> seriously considered talking to a therapist about these

> things....but I don't want to bother them...waaaaay too self-

> indugent, IMO. I would worry about the people that need the services

> more than I do..people with sexual abuse, PTSD, etc.

>

> I only comfortable giving...NEVER receiving...being strong...NEVER

> weak....being helpful...NEVER helpless. And PLEASE....don't think me

> saintly or any such nonsense. The amount of internal resentment and

> anger this builds up is better left unmentioned. Because you

> see...it's not that I don't want to be a recipient or don't want to

> be weak...or that I sometimes don't feel helpless...it's that I feel

> I don't have the RIGHT to be any of those things ....does that even

> make sense?!? And to makes matters worse...every day in my job, I

> take care of people that make it a lifetime career to be ALL those

> things.

>

> This book and joining this group is an attempt to get to the bottom

> of all this. My one concern is due to several posts I have read

> about " not eating sugar, fat, carbs, etc " I have been there and done

> all that (and lost weight...for the record I probably have about 40

> lbs to lose). I don't want to regard certain foods as " good/bad " I

> want to step off that merry-go-round. I want to eat when I am hungry

> and stop when I am full. I want to choose food that makes me feel

> good..and yes...sometimes a small amount of a perfectly made creme

> brulee is going to make me feel good:-) I live in Europe and somehow

> they all stay skinny eating the most amazing food you can possibly

> imagine. I want to be like the French...and have 3 bites of the most

> decadent delicious desert and be 100% satisfied without having to

> eat the whole pan and without having to have it everyday. A french

> woman once told me " We believe in eating anything/everything you

> want...just not all at the same time and not too much of it "

> IMO..that is a healthy attitude towards food.

>

> I haven't read further into the book (don't want to skip sections)

> so not sure if cutting out whole food groups is what is

> advocated...I really hope not....I was really hoping to delve into

> the emotional part of my eating...

>

> Oh..and let me close by saying that this is NOT a criticism of those

> that have had success and found fulfillment through cutting out

> certain things. People should do what works for them...I just want

> clarification if this is what is advocated for everyone.

>

> Well..thank you for reading a rambling e-mail that went a lot longer

> than I intended:-O

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you both and LIsa.....what a warm and wonderful welcome..thank you

so much.

I have taken both for yours advice and started listening the podcasts...I have a

lot of catching up to do-LOL.

....you sound like you are in a place that I strive to be. Living in

Europe has been enlightening. I will NEVER be one of those people where food is

merely fuel to me....food is a great and, dare I say, sensuous pleasure. But

like anything.....you can get too much of a good thing! Europeans LOVE their

food and take great pride in it...it is part of a ritual of family, love, and

friends.

I hope to adopt this lifestyle and let go of food as a drug and coping

mechanism. Of course, I know this means dealing with " stuff " that I have chosen

NOT to deal with. I am hoping I come out the other side a happier, more

compassionate, giving, and self caring/loving person:-)

>

> > Hello everyone...hope you are enjoying your weekend.

> >

> > My name is and I am a 41 year old who has been emotionally

> > eating/binging for as long as I can remember. I have never sought

> > help and I have never admitted this to anyone (except you all, of

> > course) This is the biggest source of shame in my life. I've always

> > been quite proud (even smug, maybe?) that unlike my mother, father,

> > and stepfather, I never succumbed to drug addiction....but I didn't

> > really escape it, did I? I didn't escape the need to numb, self-

> > indulge, escape, etc, did I? I am just as weak as they are....I am

> > just more functional/fortunate due to my drug of choice.

> >

> > I have gone through and journaled the first two chapters of the book

> > and am overwhelmed by what I have discovered about myself. In an

> > nutshell, I have realized that for my entire life, I have attempted

> > to be as small and as pleasing and as unbudenable (is that even a

> > word?) and unbothersome as humanely possible. If I died today, they

> > would put on my tombstone, " She never bothered anybody....She never

> > demanded anything...She always did what she was told...She never

> > called in sick...She was never late for work " Food is my ONE

> > indulgence in life....I mean except having to " bother " the grocery

> > check out clerk for a few seconds....I am not putting anyone out by

> > stuffing my face. Eating, is sadly, my preferred method of self-care.

> >

> > This is all complicated by my job. I have been an inner city ER/

> > trauma nurse for 15+ years....I am now working in a military

> > hospital. As you can imagine, to avoid burnout self-care is

> > important in this job....and BIG NEWS...my current coping mechanism

> > has been an epic fail-LOL, I have tried massages and other spa

> > services..but the whole time I am in my head fretting about putting

> > the person out that is attending to me...I kid you not..I am that

> > bad..I am so bad that even eating out is an issue... I have to clean

> > and stack my plates and tip VERY generously and NEVER complain how

> > bad the service/food is in order to enjoy it the tiniest bit. I have

> > seriously considered talking to a therapist about these

> > things....but I don't want to bother them...waaaaay too self-

> > indugent, IMO. I would worry about the people that need the services

> > more than I do..people with sexual abuse, PTSD, etc.

> >

> > I only comfortable giving...NEVER receiving...being strong...NEVER

> > weak....being helpful...NEVER helpless. And PLEASE....don't think me

> > saintly or any such nonsense. The amount of internal resentment and

> > anger this builds up is better left unmentioned. Because you

> > see...it's not that I don't want to be a recipient or don't want to

> > be weak...or that I sometimes don't feel helpless...it's that I feel

> > I don't have the RIGHT to be any of those things ....does that even

> > make sense?!? And to makes matters worse...every day in my job, I

> > take care of people that make it a lifetime career to be ALL those

> > things.

> >

> > This book and joining this group is an attempt to get to the bottom

> > of all this. My one concern is due to several posts I have read

> > about " not eating sugar, fat, carbs, etc " I have been there and done

> > all that (and lost weight...for the record I probably have about 40

> > lbs to lose). I don't want to regard certain foods as " good/bad " I

> > want to step off that merry-go-round. I want to eat when I am hungry

> > and stop when I am full. I want to choose food that makes me feel

> > good..and yes...sometimes a small amount of a perfectly made creme

> > brulee is going to make me feel good:-) I live in Europe and somehow

> > they all stay skinny eating the most amazing food you can possibly

> > imagine. I want to be like the French...and have 3 bites of the most

> > decadent delicious desert and be 100% satisfied without having to

> > eat the whole pan and without having to have it everyday. A french

> > woman once told me " We believe in eating anything/everything you

> > want...just not all at the same time and not too much of it "

> > IMO..that is a healthy attitude towards food.

> >

> > I haven't read further into the book (don't want to skip sections)

> > so not sure if cutting out whole food groups is what is

> > advocated...I really hope not....I was really hoping to delve into

> > the emotional part of my eating...

> >

> > Oh..and let me close by saying that this is NOT a criticism of those

> > that have had success and found fulfillment through cutting out

> > certain things. People should do what works for them...I just want

> > clarification if this is what is advocated for everyone.

> >

> > Well..thank you for reading a rambling e-mail that went a lot longer

> > than I intended:-O

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

What are your favorite podcasts? The ones you listen to again and again?

Grace

Sent from my iPad

> Welcome !

>

> I applaud you BIG TIME on taking this HUGE significant step by sharing

> yourself and reaching out for help. I assure you, you are not alone

> and many of us have similar stories. We can all certainly relate to

> making food our BFF and our " drug " of choice and feeling the

> tremendous shame. The good news is once you start on this journey

> (which you have by simply posting) you will lose the shame and gain

> tremendous self-esteem which will help you in all areas of your life.

> You will discover all sorts of new coping mechanisms and have lots of

> tools to help you deal with your incredibly noble but stressful job.

> You will be able to relax and enjoy a massage because you deserve it!

> I sound like a salesperson here. LOL But, I'm incredibly excited for

> you because I sense you are ready for a major shift in your life!!

>

> The great news is that you can eat everything and anything, if you

> choose. There are no restrictions. You will discover what works best

> for you. I eat chocolate almost everyday. I eat ice cream several

> times a week. I eat lots of fruits and vegetables because I ADORE them

> and CRAVE them. There are no good and bad foods in my book. Many

> people here have discovered on their journey that sugar makes them

> crave more or that eating mostly meat makes them feel better. Each

> person has their own path to follow. For now, you need to feel like

> you can eat whatever you desire and that may evolve. What happened

> for me is that instead of consuming an entire box of chocolates I can

> now eat one or two pieces mindfully, joyfully and feel completely and

> totally satisfied. I eat chips to enjoy the crunch, the salt and the

> flavor not to bury my anger and frustration as I had in the past. I

> stop eating when I'm almost full. I have come to enjoy my hunger by

> never letting myself get too hungry. When I do eat more than I need I

> simply self-correct and carry on. I put down the whip and pick up the

> feather.

>

> Try listening to the podcasts as has lots of guided journeys

> which will help you in conjunction with the book. Keep reaching out

> for help and guidance when you need it; that process alone will move

> you leaps and bounds in your life!!

>

> With much love and many many hugs,

>

>

>

>

>> Hello everyone...hope you are enjoying your weekend.

>>

>> My name is and I am a 41 year old who has been emotionally

>> eating/binging for as long as I can remember. I have never sought

>> help and I have never admitted this to anyone (except you all, of

>> course) This is the biggest source of shame in my life. I've always

>> been quite proud (even smug, maybe?) that unlike my mother, father,

>> and stepfather, I never succumbed to drug addiction....but I didn't

>> really escape it, did I? I didn't escape the need to numb, self-

>> indulge, escape, etc, did I? I am just as weak as they are....I am

>> just more functional/fortunate due to my drug of choice.

>>

>> I have gone through and journaled the first two chapters of the book

>> and am overwhelmed by what I have discovered about myself. In an

>> nutshell, I have realized that for my entire life, I have attempted

>> to be as small and as pleasing and as unbudenable (is that even a

>> word?) and unbothersome as humanely possible. If I died today, they

>> would put on my tombstone, " She never bothered anybody....She never

>> demanded anything...She always did what she was told...She never

>> called in sick...She was never late for work " Food is my ONE

>> indulgence in life....I mean except having to " bother " the grocery

>> check out clerk for a few seconds....I am not putting anyone out by

>> stuffing my face. Eating, is sadly, my preferred method of self-care.

>>

>> This is all complicated by my job. I have been an inner city ER/

>> trauma nurse for 15+ years....I am now working in a military

>> hospital. As you can imagine, to avoid burnout self-care is

>> important in this job....and BIG NEWS...my current coping mechanism

>> has been an epic fail-LOL, I have tried massages and other spa

>> services..but the whole time I am in my head fretting about putting

>> the person out that is attending to me...I kid you not..I am that

>> bad..I am so bad that even eating out is an issue... I have to clean

>> and stack my plates and tip VERY generously and NEVER complain how

>> bad the service/food is in order to enjoy it the tiniest bit. I have

>> seriously considered talking to a therapist about these

>> things....but I don't want to bother them...waaaaay too self-

>> indugent, IMO. I would worry about the people that need the services

>> more than I do..people with sexual abuse, PTSD, etc.

>>

>> I only comfortable giving...NEVER receiving...being strong...NEVER

>> weak....being helpful...NEVER helpless. And PLEASE....don't think me

>> saintly or any such nonsense. The amount of internal resentment and

>> anger this builds up is better left unmentioned. Because you

>> see...it's not that I don't want to be a recipient or don't want to

>> be weak...or that I sometimes don't feel helpless...it's that I feel

>> I don't have the RIGHT to be any of those things ....does that even

>> make sense?!? And to makes matters worse...every day in my job, I

>> take care of people that make it a lifetime career to be ALL those

>> things.

>>

>> This book and joining this group is an attempt to get to the bottom

>> of all this. My one concern is due to several posts I have read

>> about " not eating sugar, fat, carbs, etc " I have been there and done

>> all that (and lost weight...for the record I probably have about 40

>> lbs to lose). I don't want to regard certain foods as " good/bad " I

>> want to step off that merry-go-round. I want to eat when I am hungry

>> and stop when I am full. I want to choose food that makes me feel

>> good..and yes...sometimes a small amount of a perfectly made creme

>> brulee is going to make me feel good:-) I live in Europe and somehow

>> they all stay skinny eating the most amazing food you can possibly

>> imagine. I want to be like the French...and have 3 bites of the most

>> decadent delicious desert and be 100% satisfied without having to

>> eat the whole pan and without having to have it everyday. A french

>> woman once told me " We believe in eating anything/everything you

>> want...just not all at the same time and not too much of it "

>> IMO..that is a healthy attitude towards food.

>>

>> I haven't read further into the book (don't want to skip sections)

>> so not sure if cutting out whole food groups is what is

>> advocated...I really hope not....I was really hoping to delve into

>> the emotional part of my eating...

>>

>> Oh..and let me close by saying that this is NOT a criticism of those

>> that have had success and found fulfillment through cutting out

>> certain things. People should do what works for them...I just want

>> clarification if this is what is advocated for everyone.

>>

>> Well..thank you for reading a rambling e-mail that went a lot longer

>> than I intended:-O

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi.

I think this group is for you. Custom made. advocates eating healthy and

balanced. She recommends never cutting out any food group. Moderation and

listening to your body are the way to naturally slender eating. Glad to have you

here.

I really identified with what I quote below. My unhealthily overinflated sense

of responsibility led me to a career in ministry. I became a pastor because I

wanted to become a messiah. In fact Jesus did all that and I was not required to

save the world. It did not prevent me from trying. It did not keep me from

insisting on climbing up onto my cross and trying to pound in my own nails.

 

Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp

Freelance Musician

426 Pinehouse Drive

Saskatoon Sk

S7K4X5

I only comfortable giving...NEVER receiving...being strong...NEVER weak....being

helpful...NEVER helpless. And PLEASE....don't think me saintly or any such

nonsense. The amount of internal resentment and anger this builds up is better

left unmentioned. Because you see...it's not that I don't want to be a

recipient or don't want to be weak...or that I sometimes don't feel

helpless...it's that I feel I don't have the RIGHT to be any of those things

.....does that even make sense?!? And to makes matters worse...every day in my

job, I take care of people that make it a lifetime career to be ALL those

things.

[Guest guest]

It's so funny that you ask this ... I have the first 50 or so podcasts on my

phone and I don't know why it does this but every now and again my phone auto

starts with podcast #4 -- the one on stepping into a future self and feeling

what is holding you back and thanking it. At first I thought it was a glitch,

but it's happened 4 or five times without my initiating it, and it's not even

the first podcast on the list! I am now starting to think it's a sign.

What I find funny is that this is the issue I need to revisit most often.

Thanking the parts of me that resist or protest remind me of the good intention

behind my actions. Like in 's post to Lori (found again recently by

:-)), right now it's really important to me to know that everything I do is for

a good reason. That I am not bad or even making bad choices when I overeat. That

I need to listen to myself -- deep down -- all of myself. As says,

sometimes all I hear is that " little peepee voice, " but it's my voice and it

helps me to honor and thank it.

-Amy

> >

> >> Hello everyone...hope you are enjoying your weekend.

> >>

> >> My name is and I am a 41 year old who has been emotionally

> >> eating/binging for as long as I can remember. I have never sought

> >> help and I have never admitted this to anyone (except you all, of

> >> course) This is the biggest source of shame in my life. I've always

> >> been quite proud (even smug, maybe?) that unlike my mother, father,

> >> and stepfather, I never succumbed to drug addiction....but I didn't

> >> really escape it, did I? I didn't escape the need to numb, self-

> >> indulge, escape, etc, did I? I am just as weak as they are....I am

> >> just more functional/fortunate due to my drug of choice.

> >>

> >> I have gone through and journaled the first two chapters of the book

> >> and am overwhelmed by what I have discovered about myself. In an

> >> nutshell, I have realized that for my entire life, I have attempted

> >> to be as small and as pleasing and as unbudenable (is that even a

> >> word?) and unbothersome as humanely possible. If I died today, they

> >> would put on my tombstone, " She never bothered anybody....She never

> >> demanded anything...She always did what she was told...She never

> >> called in sick...She was never late for work " Food is my ONE

> >> indulgence in life....I mean except having to " bother " the grocery

> >> check out clerk for a few seconds....I am not putting anyone out by

> >> stuffing my face. Eating, is sadly, my preferred method of self-care.

> >>

> >> This is all complicated by my job. I have been an inner city ER/

> >> trauma nurse for 15+ years....I am now working in a military

> >> hospital. As you can imagine, to avoid burnout self-care is

> >> important in this job....and BIG NEWS...my current coping mechanism

> >> has been an epic fail-LOL, I have tried massages and other spa

> >> services..but the whole time I am in my head fretting about putting

> >> the person out that is attending to me...I kid you not..I am that

> >> bad..I am so bad that even eating out is an issue... I have to clean

> >> and stack my plates and tip VERY generously and NEVER complain how

> >> bad the service/food is in order to enjoy it the tiniest bit. I have

> >> seriously considered talking to a therapist about these

> >> things....but I don't want to bother them...waaaaay too self-

> >> indugent, IMO. I would worry about the people that need the services

> >> more than I do..people with sexual abuse, PTSD, etc.

> >>

> >> I only comfortable giving...NEVER receiving...being strong...NEVER

> >> weak....being helpful...NEVER helpless. And PLEASE....don't think me

> >> saintly or any such nonsense. The amount of internal resentment and

> >> anger this builds up is better left unmentioned. Because you

> >> see...it's not that I don't want to be a recipient or don't want to

> >> be weak...or that I sometimes don't feel helpless...it's that I feel

> >> I don't have the RIGHT to be any of those things ....does that even

> >> make sense?!? And to makes matters worse...every day in my job, I

> >> take care of people that make it a lifetime career to be ALL those

> >> things.

> >>

> >> This book and joining this group is an attempt to get to the bottom

> >> of all this. My one concern is due to several posts I have read

> >> about " not eating sugar, fat, carbs, etc " I have been there and done

> >> all that (and lost weight...for the record I probably have about 40

> >> lbs to lose). I don't want to regard certain foods as " good/bad " I

> >> want to step off that merry-go-round. I want to eat when I am hungry

> >> and stop when I am full. I want to choose food that makes me feel

> >> good..and yes...sometimes a small amount of a perfectly made creme

> >> brulee is going to make me feel good:-) I live in Europe and somehow

> >> they all stay skinny eating the most amazing food you can possibly

> >> imagine. I want to be like the French...and have 3 bites of the most

> >> decadent delicious desert and be 100% satisfied without having to

> >> eat the whole pan and without having to have it everyday. A french

> >> woman once told me " We believe in eating anything/everything you

> >> want...just not all at the same time and not too much of it "

> >> IMO..that is a healthy attitude towards food.

> >>

> >> I haven't read further into the book (don't want to skip sections)

> >> so not sure if cutting out whole food groups is what is

> >> advocated...I really hope not....I was really hoping to delve into

> >> the emotional part of my eating...

> >>

> >> Oh..and let me close by saying that this is NOT a criticism of those

> >> that have had success and found fulfillment through cutting out

> >> certain things. People should do what works for them...I just want

> >> clarification if this is what is advocated for everyone.

> >>

> >> Well..thank you for reading a rambling e-mail that went a lot longer

> >> than I intended:-O

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >