Re: Moving beyond resistance (Another newbie!)

July 4, 2012

________________________________

From: Mann

To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss >

Sent: Wednesday, July 4, 2012 12:45 PM

Subject: Re: Another newbie!

Hi all

, I'd love if you can talk more about moving beyond resistance.

After 30 years of habitual resisting, I'd love strategies for that.

I too have been listening to the podcasts over and over, but I'd love to hear

how those who have been successful with iowl have done so.

Thx

~~~~~~~~~

Hi ,

Way back in podcast #2, makes a comment about how we ratchet down our

dreams-- " If only I could resist the cookies at work. " That thought caught my

imagination before anything else really started to sink in. Why should I only

want to resist something? What if I wanted to eat foods that left me so

satisfied I didn't want the cookie? What if I found different ways to deal with

stressful times at work, so I didn't feel like having a cookie to solve a

problem unrelated to food?

Have you taken the time lately to think about what you want--not what you don't

want?

Part of the reason IOWL struck such a chord with me is that on my previous

weight loss attempt, I did a lot of inner work--understanding when I was eating

for emotional rather than physical reasons. I lost the weight I wanted, and kept

it off for a few years, but then started the standard regain. I did *not* do the

" gain it all back plus more " routine, though--mostly because one of the key

elements of that previous journey was coming to appreciate myself. What was

missing, though, was forgiveness. If I wanted a cookie, it must mean I was

weak. I had to white-knuckle it. Had to resist. And in the end, that was too

hard to maintain. So to me, that element of forgiveness--self-forgiveness--was

key.

Another thing that has really helped me move beyond the feeling of needing to

resist is the idea of self-correcting. When I accepted the fact that it's OK to

go slightly off course, with corrections as needed, having a cookie lost its

drama. It was just.... having a cookie. It wasn't a value judgement. It wasn't

about being good or being bad. It wasn't about being a failure. It just... was.

So losing the " I've been bad, I might as well eat the whole bag " mentality

really, really helped.

One more IOWL concept that helped enormously (especially with resistance) is the

idea of positive intent. By understanding that my overeating or bingeing was an

attempt to do something positive for myself, I opened myself up to solving the

problem. I don't know if this will help or not, but here's something I posted on

the SparkPeople recently about one of my internal dialogs for finding the

resistance around exercising on a particular day....

Hope it helps!

PS: If you're on SparkPeople, search for IOWL to find the team there. " Inside

Out Weight Loss " will give you way too many hits.

Morning Chat with Me

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I've been having an interesting (to me, anyway) inner dialog this morning. It

keeps spiraling back to the same place, though, so I'm going to try to finish it

in written form, just to see if I can't send my thoughts on a more productive

path.

The thoughts go like this:

Since I woke up early, I should be exercising.

I don't know what exercise I want to do. I *should* do a really brisk walk--7k

in an hour.

I *shouldn't* do that. I was sick over the weekend--slept most of Saturday.

Called in sick on Sunday. Survived work on Monday... but I can feel my lungs

this morning. In a way that one shouldn't if one is not in the middle of

exercise.

But if I don't exercise now, I'm not doing enough.

But if I push myself to an hour at 7km/hr, I might push myself to a relapse.

I've done it before. What about WATP? I can take my pick--2, 3, even 4 mile

walk.

Yeah, but 4 miles in an hour isn't as good as 7k in an hour. It's not enough.

But I'm getting over being sick. What is " enough " in this case?

What is

" enough " ?

This is the question I keep circling back to. A recurrent issue in my life.

Do I have enough? Yes. I'm at the point where financially, I have enough that

sometimes I don't stop to think. I don't stop to worry. I check in every now and

then to make sure I'm not totally off track.

Did I eat enough? Yes. Lately I've been very conscious of eating enough. Eating

when just hungry enough--but not too hungry. Stopping when full enough--but not

too full. Enjoying what I eat. Enjoying the way I feel, since what I'm eating is

all fresh, pronounceable, minimally processed.

Am I doing enough? Hmm. Why do I get stuck here? I work--up to 40 hrs/week, even

though I'm scheduled for less. (Full time here is more.) I'm active in my

community. Though sometimes

I feel like I'm not doing enough. Not as much as I should. I have friends who

work similar hours, who do more. I have to remind myself that some of what I've

chosen to do--helping with leading services or reading at our community-run

synagogue-- takes me a lot longer than it does for other people. It's service

that isn't seen.

Ah. Do I need to be seen to be doing more? Is this a show?

Do I feel that same thing with the exercise? Do I feel like if I report on my

lovely 4-mile walk, 6.4 kmh, I will be judged for not walking at 7? Or for not

running?

Who do I imagine is doing the judging?

I think I'm doing the judging. The comparing. I look at what others are

accomplishing and think I should be doing the same.

But I am me.

I have my schedule, my commitments, my cough.

I have never reported on a run or a walk or a set of three sun salutes and heard

anyone outside my

own head say " that's all you did?? "

I know the positive intent of this judge. It is to make sure I don't get lazy.

Actually, the inner judge doesn't see it as laziness--more just losing track of

time. The inner judge is quite aware of how easy it is for time to slip by,

until suddenly there's no time to do the best possible walk or run or yoga

practice I can do--instead, I can only do the best I have time for.

I need to introduce my inner judge to The Moment, I think. To remind this inner

judge that sometimes making sure I do the best walk I have time for today, at

the best intensity my lungs can comfortably take, will ensure that the next time

I have time and health for a long run, I will be ready for it.

I need to remind my inner judge that doing my best over time is better than

doing too much today, and not being able to do anything tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I still can't quite decide

what exercise feels right--I just know my body is craving *some* movement. But

at least the inner spiraling has slowed, calmed.

And for now, that is enough.

Follow-up:

I am happy to report that I did go on to exercise. I was totally drawn to the

treadmill, which I know a lot of people can't understand AT ALL! LOL!

But I was able to harness that inner judge to making sure that what I was doing

in the moment was what I should be doing--instead of worrying about anything

external. Just over 2 miles in 30 minutes was PERFECT for today, even if it

would not be perfect on other days. My legs and lungs are both happy with the

effort. Phew!

July 5, 2012

Hi everyone,

wrote yesterday about moving beyond resistance. It was so helpful for me

that I'm reposting it and writing my response. Below is the text of her email,

followed by my response.