I'm new

[Guest guest]

Coconut he cannot do. I am going to redo the goat yogurt but drip it

for a few days.

jo

In mb12 valtrex , " mbrookh " wrote:

>

> jo,

> My daughter deals with seizures also. So many of the probiotics have

> enough milk residue that they will trigger a seizure. Her response to

> goat milk/yogurt is also seizure. We've had success making yogurt

> with coconut milk.

>

>

> > >

> > > Have you had an IGg done on him to determine exactly what he is

> > allergic to?

> > >

> > > I'm New

> > >

> > >

> > > I read all of the files and am very excited about doing this

> for my

> > > son. Some things do not apply to him since he never had any

> > > immunizations. I don't have to worry about measles or herpes.

> > >

> > > The problem is his horrendous allergies. His reaction to a food

> or

> > > supplement are seizures. Wish it were rashes instead! I really

> > > struggle to get new supplements in him. When he has a reaction

> it is

> > > at least 4 days til he is seizure free again. What if this

> protocol

> > > is the answer? Maybe this is why he is regressing. No matter

> what I

> > > do or try, he regresses. He has been sugar, dairy, gluten and

> > > processed food free for 4 years. He is scd since september.

> > > Everytime I try the probiotics or homemade dripped goat yogurt,

> I end

> > > up taking them back out because of seizures. I feel like it is

> going

> > > to be impossible to get him to tolerate anything but I have to

> try.

> > >

> > > Could his seizures and allergies be from viruses? I was

> pregnant with

> > > him while living in a home with mold and we lived there til he

> was 3.

> > >

> > > Does anyone have any ideas? Also, are bananas a bad idea for

> him?

> > >

> > > Thank you

> > > jo

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It's obvious that your son has some serious immune issues going on so I would not say you don't need to worry about measles or herpes.  Pull titers.  Yes, viruses in the brain can cause seizures and one of the most common ones in the brain that causes seizures is HHV6.  One thing people have to remember is that when we talk about herpes, we are *not* talking about the std.  There are many herpes viruses out there. EBV, CMV and Roseola are all herpes viruses.  Just because your son was never vaxed for measles doesn't mean he isn't carrying it.  Wakefield has plenty of information regarding the measles virus in non-vaxed children.CherylI read all of the files and am very excited about doing this for myson. Some things do not apply to him since he never had anyimmunizations. I don't have to worry about measles or herpes.The problem is his horrendous allergies. His reaction to a food orsupplement are seizures. Wish it were rashes instead! I reallystruggle to get new supplements in him. When he has a reaction it isat least 4 days til he is seizure free again. What if this protocolis the answer? Maybe this is why he is regressing. No matter what Ido or try, he regresses. He has been sugar, dairy, gluten andprocessed food free for 4 years. He is scd since september. Everytime I try the probiotics or homemade dripped goat yogurt, I endup taking them back out because of seizures. I feel like it is goingto be impossible to get him to tolerate anything but I have to try.Could his seizures and allergies be from viruses? I was pregnant withhim while living in a home with mold and we lived there til he was 3.Does anyone have any ideas? Also, are bananas a bad idea for him?Thank you jo

[Guest guest]

It's obvious that your son has some serious immune issues going on so I would not say you don't need to worry about measles or herpes.  Pull titers.  Yes, viruses in the brain can cause seizures and one of the most common ones in the brain that causes seizures is HHV6.  One thing people have to remember is that when we talk about herpes, we are *not* talking about the std.  There are many herpes viruses out there. EBV, CMV and Roseola are all herpes viruses.  Just because your son was never vaxed for measles doesn't mean he isn't carrying it.  Wakefield has plenty of information regarding the measles virus in non-vaxed children.CherylI read all of the files and am very excited about doing this for myson. Some things do not apply to him since he never had anyimmunizations. I don't have to worry about measles or herpes.The problem is his horrendous allergies. His reaction to a food orsupplement are seizures. Wish it were rashes instead! I reallystruggle to get new supplements in him. When he has a reaction it isat least 4 days til he is seizure free again. What if this protocolis the answer? Maybe this is why he is regressing. No matter what Ido or try, he regresses. He has been sugar, dairy, gluten andprocessed food free for 4 years. He is scd since september. Everytime I try the probiotics or homemade dripped goat yogurt, I endup taking them back out because of seizures. I feel like it is goingto be impossible to get him to tolerate anything but I have to try.Could his seizures and allergies be from viruses? I was pregnant withhim while living in a home with mold and we lived there til he was 3.Does anyone have any ideas? Also, are bananas a bad idea for him?Thank you jo

[Guest guest]

The cavvines did not casue our son's autism we think...though they

certainly increased his degree of injury. We think the gut was

injured by Rotavirus, and that began the decline in his health..and

then we continued to vaccinate on an injured gut without realizing

it...the MMR put him over the edge. Di

>

> > I read all of the files and am very excited about doing this for

my

> > son. Some things do not apply to him since he never had any

> > immunizations. I don't have to worry about measles or herpes.

> >

> > The problem is his horrendous allergies. His reaction to a food or

> > supplement are seizures. Wish it were rashes instead! I really

> > struggle to get new supplements in him. When he has a reaction it

is

> > at least 4 days til he is seizure free again. What if this

protocol

> > is the answer? Maybe this is why he is regressing. No matter what

I

> > do or try, he regresses. He has been sugar, dairy, gluten and

> > processed food free for 4 years. He is scd since september.

> > Everytime I try the probiotics or homemade dripped goat yogurt, I

end

> > up taking them back out because of seizures. I feel like it is

going

> > to be impossible to get him to tolerate anything but I have to

try.

> >

> > Could his seizures and allergies be from viruses? I was pregnant

with

> > him while living in a home with mold and we lived there til he

was 3.

> >

> > Does anyone have any ideas? Also, are bananas a bad idea for him?

> >

> > Thank you

> > jo

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

seizures can be a sign of calcium/magnesium deficiency, b vitamin deficiency, malnutrition,or brain injury......can you get sublinguals into him to bypass the gut?

[Guest guest]

Have you tried giving her things in only in her left hand? Having her

hold something (favorite animal, etc.) in her right hand while you give

her balls, crayons, etc. in her left? How about holding her right hand

while she reaches for something (favorite food or toy) with left hand?

Finger plays and songs with motions? How about edible play dough

(recipes online)?

Now that I'm thinking about this I should be doing some of this with my

little guy. ;o)

I'm glad that you're getting hooked up with PT, etc. OT will also

likely be recommended and will help. How great that your little punkin

is mobile! Hooray for her!!

Blessings -- the journey is unpredictable and different for each of us,

but " we are all in this together... " (singing)

Hugs,

mom to 5

[Guest guest]

,

Welcome to the group. Sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. It

sounds like the EEG your daughter is getting is to determine if she is having

any seizure activity or to at least get a baseline of what her wave activity is.

There are so many different Anti Epilepsy Drugs (AEDs) that are available. The

type of AED prescribed usually depends on the type of seizures or brain wave

activity. Like any drug reactions depend on the person taking them. I've heard

some people claim and AED was a mircle drug for their child, while another will

claim it the same drug had horrible effects on their child.

Doctors will usually tell you the major side effects and you can always find

information on the internet. However you really won't know how your child will

react until they take it. The good news is most AEDs are introduced slowly and

your child is closly monitored (some drugs require frequent blood screening when

introducing). If a reaction occurs the medication can be stopped usually before

full dosage levels have been reached.

Penny - Step Mom to Marz 15 YO - Unilateral PMG-PNH

" smith.kelly8 " wrote:

Hello Everyone I'm new here,

My name is and I'm 26 years old and I have a daughter who was

just diagnosed with polymicrogyria, she's going on 14 months. She's

had an MRI and she is being scheduled for an EEG to see if she'll

have seizures....She hasn't had any yet. If they find that she does

need to be put on something is there any drug that you DO NOT

recommend??? I'm not sure what to expect, I didn't even realize

anything was wrong, she seemed to be fine, it just took her a little

longer with her motor skills sitting and crawling and now she can

stand and walk along furniture, but doesn't have the balance to do

it on her own yet. The doctor did not say what type of PMG she had,

I wasn't aware that there were different types, all he told us was

that the front of her brain had some smoothness and that the part of

the brain where it mostly was located is a function for association.

Can anyone tell me what that means? She does seem to use her right

hand mostly and doesn't want to use her left hand. She is schedule

for physical therapy, but I wanted to know of any good exercises or

anything that I could do to help her in the meantime. Any advice

anyone can give me would be great, I'm overwhelmed and still trying

to understand everything and the doctors don't get into detail, I'm

just researching online, but the more I do that the worse things

look.

Thank you and Best wishes from and Little Autumn

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I am also new to this group. I just read your email and had to comment back.

I have a 5 yr old granddaughter that has PMG. She was diagnosed a few years

back. What I want to tell you is when we took Haylee to see a specialist in

Denver he was in shock that Haylee even had it. He says usually when they see

kids with this condition they are always sad in the office. Haylee rides a

trike, plays on the jungle gym ( took awhile for her strength in her arms)

runs, plays, can write H A on paper and comprehends everything. Within 2 minutes

after playing on the floor with her he turns to us and SMILES and says she is

remarkable. The only things lacking is speech and some fine motor skills.

Every child is different. It effects each and every child different. Just

cause a doc says your child won't do it DOES NOT MEAN she won't! Push Push for

more all the time. I always say NEVER UNDER ESTIMATE my girl she's amazing and

keeps on going.

Another thing there is a book that was published this month by Hummel

Hudson that has a daughter with PMG. It's a wonderful book. The book is called

Schuyler's Monster. It's an amazing book. I cried, laughed out loud and MOSTLY

could relate. Just go online and type in the title of the book and you can

check it out if you'd like. You can feel so alone with this conditon but we are

not alone... glad you found this group to.

Re: I'm new

,

Welcome to the group. Sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. It

sounds like the EEG your daughter is getting is to determine if she is having

any seizure activity or to at least get a baseline of what her wave activity is.

There are so many different Anti Epilepsy Drugs (AEDs) that are available. The

type of AED prescribed usually depends on the type of seizures or brain wave

activity. Like any drug reactions depend on the person taking them. I've heard

some people claim and AED was a mircle drug for their child, while another will

claim it the same drug had horrible effects on their child.

Doctors will usually tell you the major side effects and you can always find

information on the internet. However you really won't know how your child will

react until they take it. The good news is most AEDs are introduced slowly and

your child is closly monitored (some drugs require frequent blood screening when

introducing) . If a reaction occurs the medication can be stopped usually

before full dosage levels have been reached.

Penny - Step Mom to Marz 15 YO - Unilateral PMG-PNH

" smith.kelly8 " <kelly.m.vial@ wmich.edu> wrote:

Hello Everyone I'm new here,

My name is and I'm 26 years old and I have a daughter who was

just diagnosed with polymicrogyria, she's going on 14 months. She's

had an MRI and she is being scheduled for an EEG to see if she'll

have seizures.... She hasn't had any yet. If they find that she does

need to be put on something is there any drug that you DO NOT

recommend??? I'm not sure what to expect, I didn't even realize

anything was wrong, she seemed to be fine, it just took her a little

longer with her motor skills sitting and crawling and now she can

stand and walk along furniture, but doesn't have the balance to do

it on her own yet. The doctor did not say what type of PMG she had,

I wasn't aware that there were different types, all he told us was

that the front of her brain had some smoothness and that the part of

the brain where it mostly was located is a function for association.

Can anyone tell me what that means? She does seem to use her right

hand mostly and doesn't want to use her left hand. She is schedule

for physical therapy, but I wanted to know of any good exercises or

anything that I could do to help her in the meantime. Any advice

anyone can give me would be great, I'm overwhelmed and still trying

to understand everything and the doctors don't get into detail, I'm

just researching online, but the more I do that the worse things

look.

Thank you and Best wishes from and Little Autumn

[Guest guest]

Hi, welcome!

Regarding the breathing, has he seen a doctor? Is this " shallow " breathing new,

hasn't always been that way?

I wonder if his OCD is more " thoughts " than physical type compulsions. Do you

know if he's open with the Social Worker about his OCD, talks to her? With " bad

thoughts " it may be he's too embarrassed (and mad that he has them) to want to

share with you. There are some really good books for kids, including his age

range, think he'd be open to reading any?

Medication - is he open to trying any? Many benefit and find they have their

lives back when it lessens the OCD, and some find it practically stops the OCD

altogether. But medication can also help them be more able to participate in

therapy once the OCD/anxiety lessens.

How's his social life? School?

I'll tell you YES, with the right therapy/treatment, he can get better!

You said he gets angry (not unusual, my son got sick of me asking about OCD and

wasn't open to talking about it) when you ask about his OCD, but have you

noticed any certain " actions " you take having him react, like you may be

triggering his OCD in ways?

My OCD/Aspergers son is now 23, his OCD started in 6th grade, tho he had his

" quirks " prior to that. In 6th, it began with all types of physical

compulsions, rituals, easy to see. Things improved over time. But later, on no

meds, he'd stopped his med, OCD did return with " bad thoughts " and his is the

Scrupulosity OCD that is all mixed up with religion (he's a Christian) so his

thoughts are more about God and not wanting to sin, etc. He did see a therapist

but didn't work well, as with these type of thoughts, he just can't grasp the

thoughts are " OCD. " When he had the physical type compulsions, he easily saw

those as OCD. And he refuses meds, but he still has managed to finish high

school and graduated college last summer with a BS in Biology (wants to get into

cancer research, he hopes). So that's a really short version of our story!

Glad you found our group!

single mom, 3 sons

>

> hi. I'm old but I'm new to this group. I have a 13yo son who has been

" different " since birth, now he has diagnosis of OCD. He's not on meds, is

seeing a social worker who works with OCD, he's known her for years and really

likes her. We go once a week when he's in a " flare-up " . My ins does not pay,

she's 45min away, I work full-time etc.

> I just really do not know how to interact with him when he's very anxious. I

do not know what his anxieties are, what his rituals are, as he is very

secretive and gets VERY angry and frustrated when I ask him about them. I would

do anything in the world to help him, but that is the one thing that REALLY

BOTHERS him, is when I try to

[Guest guest]

Welcome! I think it is fair to say that MOST of us have cried ourselves to sleep

and felt hopeless that we will ever see our child again at times when things are

bad.

Also I have never come closer to jumping over a table and KILLING someone than i

have to a psychiatrist who said to me " the hardest part about all this is

helping you to figure out what you have against putting your kid on meds " ( You

mean aside from the fact that there is no long term safety data and the only

data out there shows that they increase suicidal ideation?) Like he had any idea

what the hardest part was....

OCD is a life long illness. It waxes and wanes, but with treatment ( CBT/ERP

+/-meds) can stay in remission for years on end and even forever ( according to

Dr Storch from the University of Southern FL pediatric OCD center) if you stay

on top of relapse prevention)). There IS hope. My kid was DX at age 3, and in

hindsight has had it since birth with first CLEAR compulsive symptoms at 9

months old. He had SEVERE OCD by yale brown scores for about 6 years of his

life in 2 seperate instances ( 3-5 and 8-12) consumed about 17 hours a day or

more.

He is now almost 16 and has been doing well for almost 3 years with only

occasional interferences due to perfectionism stuff( mostly at school (tests)

and sports( mouthing off to teammates who didnt make the pass or catch or goal

or whatever). He is a straight A student ( the up side of perfectionism) with

testing accomidations for anxiety and reassurance seeking, a star athlete and as

one other parent put it " The king of the high school " as a freshman. He is

loved by teachers, parents and students alike. If you did not know you would

think he was the golden child.

He still has OCD, is still anxious if his brother drops food on the counter etc

and still has outbursts with us, but not in any way that inhibits him in his

life. He hoards money. The other day when we were talking about drug use and

friends who have bought drugs he said to me " are you crazy, you think I would

spend money on drugs??????!!!!! I have not spent a single dollar in 4 years! I

had to laugh- saved from substance abuse by hoarding!

In other words, there will be ups and downs. Enjoy the ups, work through the

downs. Celebrate successes, use understanding friends ( even if they are only

cyberfriends) to vent when you are hopeless.

Once again, welcome

[Guest guest]

Also, it might be helpful to know that I was once like kids on this board. I'm

sure my parents could have written posts just like the desperate ones that are

written here, and I only wish my mom were alive today to see that things have

worked out well. I have had OCD for as long as I can remember, and it got bad

by junior high, but off the charts when I went to college. Still, I graduated

from an ivy league university and with good help and the right meds, I have been

able to have a long career as a learning specialist that I adore and have two

wonderful kids. Yes, my kids both have OCD, but together the three of us plug

on, and life can still be good.

Re: I'm new

Welcome! I think it is fair to say that MOST of us have cried ourselves to sleep

and felt hopeless that we will ever see our child again at times when things are

bad.

Also I have never come closer to jumping over a table and KILLING someone than i

have to a psychiatrist who said to me " the hardest part about all this is

helping you to figure out what you have against putting your kid on meds " ( You

mean aside from the fact that there is no long term safety data and the only

data out there shows that they increase suicidal ideation?) Like he had any idea

what the hardest part was....

OCD is a life long illness. It waxes and wanes, but with treatment ( CBT/ERP

+/-meds) can stay in remission for years on end and even forever ( according to

Dr Storch from the University of Southern FL pediatric OCD center) if you stay

on top of relapse prevention)). There IS hope. My kid was DX at age 3, and in

hindsight has had it since birth with first CLEAR compulsive symptoms at 9

months old. He had SEVERE OCD by yale brown scores for about 6 years of his

life in 2 seperate instances ( 3-5 and 8-12) consumed about 17 hours a day or

more.

He is now almost 16 and has been doing well for almost 3 years with only

occasional interferences due to perfectionism stuff( mostly at school (tests)

and sports( mouthing off to teammates who didnt make the pass or catch or goal

or whatever). He is a straight A student ( the up side of perfectionism) with

testing accomidations for anxiety and reassurance seeking, a star athlete and as

one other parent put it " The king of the high school " as a freshman. He is

loved by teachers, parents and students alike. If you did not know you would

think he was the golden child.

He still has OCD, is still anxious if his brother drops food on the counter etc

and still has outbursts with us, but not in any way that inhibits him in his

life. He hoards money. The other day when we were talking about drug use and

friends who have bought drugs he said to me " are you crazy, you think I would

spend money on drugs??????!!!!! I have not spent a single dollar in 4 years! I

had to laugh- saved from substance abuse by hoarding!

In other words, there will be ups and downs. Enjoy the ups, work through the

downs. Celebrate successes, use understanding friends ( even if they are only

cyberfriends) to vent when you are hopeless.

Once again, welcome

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Jasmine! I'm sure someone will be able to address most, if

not all of your questions.

Eldred

> Hi, Just wanted to introduce myself. I am new here, and just joined after

discovering 's podcasts and listening to every one of them. It has been

about three weeks since I have been listening. I download several podcasts and

listen to them at work during the course of the day, while I am working.

>

> I am looking forward to participating in this forum. Hopefully I'll be able

to contribute and gain from the experience.

>

> Jasmine

>

>

--

Raising money for Make-a-Wish! Donation page at http://wam300.org

[Guest guest]

HI Jasmine!

Wow, you got through all the podcasts in three weeks!? Everyone takes info

at their own pace I suppose - but I think I'd have difficulty taking it all

in that fast! I listen to 1 podcast per day, once on my way into work, and

once on my way home. Occasionally I've listened to a podcast a third time

right before I go to sleep if it's a particularly resonant one.

My suggestion would be to take them slower - start again from the beginning

again, and listen to one every day or every couple of days, and

*really* listen.

Pause, rewind, mull it over if you have to. The thing about 's podcast

is that she's using NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programming. Part of this

technique is the use of repetition to re-program the brain to think in a

different way - essentially it's about training the brain. But this process

takes time, and repetition. You'd not train with weights by starting out

with a 5kg bar and then within 2 days be lifting 50kgs - you gotta work up

to it over time, and every day will be a bit easier and you'll be able to

do a bit more.

I'm by no means perfect in my dieting - I had a carb blowout on the

weekend, but I'd just listened to 's episode about eliminating

black-and-white thinking and being comfortable in the grey, and this week

I've just kept calm and gotten on with getting back on track in my low carb

diet. Before listening to 's podcast, I'd have given up for a while

and just let myself eat crap because it was a hopeless case - until my next

period of ultra-motivation.

There's that pendulum swinging back around again! ;-)

I read your point about the icecream - maaan, I can so sympathise. This is

what caused my blow-out on the weekend. I thought about chocolate and then

it was All Over Red Rover. Little did I know that the next podcast around

the corner (number 16, relaxed intent) would have helped me set my intent

in the positive rather than the negative. So rather than saying " I intend

to NOT have icecream if I think about icecream " , I should instead be saying

" I intend to feel calm and centered at the idea of not having icecream when

I think about it " .

But this way of thinking takes time! We all need to learn to not punish

ourselves when we get it wrong - we shouldn't punish a dog when training

it, we'd give it positive reinforcement. So why would we punish ourselves?

Just be patient with yourself, Jasmine. And go start the podcasts again

from scratch, slow down and really try to absorb what it was about. Here's

a challenge I set for myself: when I'm on my way home and I'm about to

re-listen to my daily podcast, I try to mentally run through the most

salient points before I hit " play " . This means that in the mornings, I have

to pay extra attention and try to commit important bits to my memory. And

it means I have to try and remember them throughout the day to keep them

fresh. It helps to stretch the experience out.

Good luck!

Charlotte xx

> **

>

>

> Welcome, Jasmine! I'm sure someone will be able to address most, if

> not all of your questions.

>

> Eldred

>

>

> On Tue, Jul 24, 2012 at 11:07 PM, jasmine.mars

> wrote:

> > Hi, Just wanted to introduce myself. I am new here, and just joined

> after discovering 's podcasts and listening to every one of them. It

> has been about three weeks since I have been listening. I download several

> podcasts and listen to them at work during the course of the day, while I

> am working.

> >

> > I am looking forward to participating in this forum. Hopefully I'll be

> able to contribute and gain from the experience.

> >

> > Jasmine

> >

> >

>

> --

> Raising money for Make-a-Wish! Donation page at http://wam300.org

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi jasmine. I'm new to the group too and definitely don't have any answers but I

wanted to let you know that I identify with a lot of your questions/ concerns,

especially the one about ice cream. I feel like if I think of ANY sweet thing,

there's almost nothing that can prevent my having that thing. And I often eat A

ton of " lesser evils " in an attempt to satisfy my craving. But I end up eating

the thing I was trying to avoid too. I would love to know how to deal with this

and will be watching for the answer as I read full-filled and listening to the

podcasts. I have a feeling that the answer has something to do with setting my

intent (which is an idea/process that I'm struggling with).

>

> Hi, Just wanted to introduce myself. I am new here, and just joined after

discovering 's podcasts and listening to every one of them. It has been

about three weeks since I have been listening. I download several podcasts and

listen to them at work during the course of the day, while I am working.

>

> I am intrigued by the information, and find myself thinking some new thoughts.

However, I haven't noticed any huge changes in my behavior. I've been eating

fairly healthfully lately, but today I went overboard. I had spaghetti at

lunch, an ice cream on the way home, and several snacks tonight. It was a bad

day all around.

>

> I wonder lots of things, like:

> 1. Will I ever stop obsessing over food and my weight 24/7, and live a normal

life?

> 2. Why do I obsess over food and my weight 24/7?

> 3. Why do so many other women appear to be effortlessly skinny and well put

together, while I am a flat slob who dresses poorly?

> 4. Why do I constantly buy clothes and jewelry and hoard them for " someday, "

while continuing to look like a slob every day?

> 5. How do I fix my life so that food is not the only thing I look forward to?

> 6. Why do I stay up every night until 2 am working on schoolwork (I'm a

teacher in my spare time) and mindlessly surfing the internet, while snacking,

when I have to get up at 7 in the morning to go to my office job?

> 7. My grandmother was hugely overweight and had issues with food and

overeating (I stayed with her often when I was a kid). Am I doomed to be fat

because of heredity?

> 8. If I ever get thin, will my fat cells scream to be filled up? Will I

constantly have to battle my physical self?

> 9. How do I make enough money so I don't need two jobs?

> 10. What the hell happened to me? Up until age 32 or so, I was relatively

thin, well dressed, and attractive. The difference between myself then and now

is like night and day.

> 11. I am scared of my lack of control over my eating. If I have an ice cream

on my mind, I cannot NOT get one. My impulse control is very poor. How do I

change into a person that is in control?

> 12. Being the center of attraction is very painful to me. I avoid wearing

anything new to work because I will have a million people asking me, " Is that

new? Where did you get that? " I love fashion and jewelry, though. How do I

dress the way I want to without attracting unwanted attention?

> 13. I have been stuck in an unfulfilling job for more than a decade. It is

dragging me down into the gutter. I see no future. I have not had good luck

interviewing for other jobs in the past. Will I ever get a better job that pays

a good salary, enough so that I have a little breathing room?

> 14. I resent that people treat me differently at different weights. It is so

hurtful that I think it has prompted me to be overweight.

> 15. My husband is great in some aspects, but he has a selfish side to him. He

doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do, and he puts himself first. He is

very much into fitness, and has a physically demanding job. After work every

day he either jogs or lifts weights. This leaves me to make dinner and tend to

the kids. He says he will make dinner. But it ends up being 8 pm at night when

he makes it. How do I get over my resentment toward him for putting himself

first, and leaving me to handle everything while he takes care of his needs?

How can I find it possible to put myself first? Because if my husband and I are

both selfish, then nothing will get done and the kids will not be fed.

>

> And the list goes on and on and on.

>

> Listening to the podcasts helps, but how long will it be before I change my

behavior? Why is it so difficult to change my behavior? Am I doomed to be the

way I am for the rest of my life? I'm a hard worker, and I'm not lazy. Like

many women with weight issues, I am literally working around the clock, handling

large amounts of responsibility and work in every area of my life. I have

constant anxiety about losing my job, being a homeless person, not being able to

pay my bills, losing my husband, having my husband cheat on me, having something

awful happen to my kids, etc.

>

> I am looking forward to participating in this forum. Hopefully I'll be able

to contribute and gain from the experience.

>

> Jasmine

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Jasmine

I'm new here too and BOY can I relate! I have thought & felt most of the things

on your list at one time or another. I also have a husband who is in great

shape-he cares for his body so effortlessly that I feel resentful at times. You

are not alone!! Hopefully the answers to your questions will come in time.

>

> Hi, Just wanted to introduce myself.

[Guest guest]

Hi Jasmine,

Welcome and thanks for your great questions! I'm sure we have all faced similar

ones and can relate all too well!

Here are my thoughts, for what that's worth...I feel I identify with you in many

ways, as a teacher, parent, and struggling financially...

1. Will I ever stop obsessing over food and my weight 24/7, and live a normal

life? Well, I think yes, but perhaps you may redefine " normal " . I mean, I am

still thinking about food, but in a very different way. I'm thinking about what

is going to make me feel great over time, not when can I get a big bag of ______

to stuff down all of my other issues. So I still think about food, mainly when

I'm hungry, but in a different way.  Mind you, this has only come after over 20

years of serious struggles. For some reason, this time is very different...

2. Why do I obsess over food and my weight 24/7?  This is tough to answer for

you. For me, the obsession was my way of escaping from stress, fatigue, anger,

frustration, being overwhelmed.

3. Why do so many other women appear to be effortlessly skinny and well put

together, while I am a flat slob who dresses poorly? Either they have always

been thin and just do what suggests (match their burn rate to their

intake, choose foods that make them feel great, etc.). Or they are working at it

hard... Hard to say.

4. Why do I constantly buy clothes and jewelry and hoard them for " someday, "

while continuing to look like a slob every day? Wear them today! Do little

things to make you feel as special and beautiful as you are! Put those beautiful

things on and enjoy wearing them! That might spur you onto celebrating yourself

a bit more.

5. How do I fix my life so that food is not the only thing I look forward to?

Hmmm...

6. Why do I stay up every night until 2 am working on schoolwork (I'm a

teacher in my spare time) and mindlessly surfing the internet, while

snacking, when I have to get up at 7 in the morning to go to my office

job? As a teacher too, I completely get not going to bed when you should. This

summer my big committment was to getting at least 7 hours of sleep/night. My

daughter gets up at 6 and I get up at 4 so I can work out, so that means going

to bed at 9. During the summer I can sleep in until 6, but that still means

being in bed by 10. You have to make it a priority because sleep is so

important. I think that being chronically sleep deprived for years has really

messed up my body, mind, spirit. I'd be happy to be a support in us both

committing to getting more sleep!

7. My grandmother was hugely overweight and had issues with food and

overeating (I stayed with her often when I was a kid). Am I doomed to

be fat because of heredity? NO WAY!

8. If I ever get thin, will my fat cells scream to be filled up? Will I

constantly have to battle my physical self? NO!

9. How do I make enough money so I don't need two jobs? Well, short of changing

careers, which I won't do, I've just committed to spending less. Another big

goal for this summer that I'm happy to go in on with you!

10. What the hell happened to me? Up until age 32 or so, I was

relatively thin, well dressed, and attractive. The difference between

myself then and now is like night and day.  Being a parent, struggling

financially, not getting enough sleep...

11. I am scared of my lack of control over my eating. If I have an ice

cream on my mind, I cannot NOT get one. My impulse control is very

poor. How do I change into a person that is in control?  Don't fight it. Think

about making choices to give you more joy and pleasure. Try to think about how

you want to feel later.

12. How can I find it

possible to put myself first? Because if my husband and I are both

selfish, then nothing will get done and the kids will not be fed.  I just

posted about this on Spark. Here is what I wrote...

Today in the podcast I listened to, for the tenth time, I heard something I

didn't really hear before and it really struck me.

talked about the kindness of being selfish. She went on to talk

about how if we can cultivate inner peace, and heal ourselves, we will

be in a much better position to heal others and spread peace in the

world.

In other words, as I end my inner suffering around food, I'm more able to share

my joy with others.

Thus taking the time to prepare delicious healthy food, exercise,

meditate, write in my journal, all may be seen as " selfish " acts in that

I'm taking time for me. But in actuality, they are all acts of kindness

because as I do these things, I can then head out into the world from a

place of peace and joy. I will have no hidden agenda, no anger, no

jealousy.

As I accept myself, I have more to give to the world.

Even more, talked about the importance of being a role model. As a

parent and teacher, I know all too well that children follow the

example you set, not through your words, but through your actions. I am

working hard to cultivate congruence between what I say and what I do,

so that my daughter has the right model to follow.

It's funny because sometimes it can feel selfish to feel unconditional

self-acceptance or even talk about it. But when I see that by accepting

myself, I'm then able to be a kinder, more peaceful and giving parent,

wife, teacher, etc, I see that it's not selfish at all!

OK...that was a big answer. Ignore whatever you want!

Best,

[Guest guest]

Hi. I'm new although I have been reading the emails for about 3 weeks. It was

that prompted me to reply. I have a lot in common with what you have gone

through. I send you and your 8-year-old self hugs.

I am doing the 6 week online program for the second time. I hope to go deeper

this time. Posting has been one of the more difficult things for me. I have

tended to keep things inside and to myself. That's probably why one of my coping

mechanisms is to eat. A mindshift to a healthy lifestyle change is my goal.

I am also starting to listen to the podcasts. They are all new for me. I found

the book first in the library and was hooked.

I wish us all well on this journey,

Ginger

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Ginger!

> Hi. I'm new although I have been reading the emails for about 3 weeks. It was

that prompted me to reply. I have a lot in common with what you have gone

through. I send you and your 8-year-old self hugs.

>

> I am doing the 6 week online program for the second time. I hope to go deeper

this time. Posting has been one of the more difficult things for me. I have

tended to keep things inside and to myself. That's probably why one of my coping

mechanisms is to eat. A mindshift to a healthy lifestyle change is my goal.

>

> I am also starting to listen to the podcasts. They are all new for me. I found

the book first in the library and was hooked.

>

> I wish us all well on this journey,

> Ginger

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi and Ginger,

I wish I had realized being big wasn't good when I was 8. I was thin but

very competitive with my older brother.. so we would stand on the scale

and I was getting closer and closer.. and then one day I realized I

wasn't bigger because I was taller.. *sigh*

[Guest guest]

Ginger,

 

So glad you have joined this group.  I look forward to hearing your story and

the progress you are making on this journey.

  Livingston

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 11:35 PM

Subject: Re: I'm new

 

Welcome, Ginger!

On Mon, Jul 30, 2012 at 7:02 PM, gmckkitty <mailto:gmckkitty%40hotmail.com>

wrote:

> Hi. I'm new although I have been reading the emails for about 3 weeks. It was

that prompted me to reply. I have a lot in common with what you have gone

through. I send you and your 8-year-old self hugs.

>

> I am doing the 6 week online program for the second time. I hope to go deeper

this time. Posting has been one of the more difficult things for me. I have

tended to keep things inside and to myself. That's probably why one of my coping

mechanisms is to eat. A mindshift to a healthy lifestyle change is my goal.

>

> I am also starting to listen to the podcasts. They are all new for me. I found

the book first in the library and was hooked.

>

> I wish us all well on this journey,

> Ginger

>

>

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