Guest guest Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Welcome, ! Eldred On Mon, Jul 30, 2012 at 3:12 PM, monicajwebb@... wrote: > If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > -- Tagline on back-order... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 ! Your post started out having my heart go out to your 8-year-old self, and then I was filled with EXCITEMENT for you! You sound so positive! I SO know what you mean about having chanced upon the podcast - why did noone tell us?! I'm telling everyone one I know, everyone who has similar issues to me. really *gets* it. And she helps me *get* things that I'd never managed to understand about myself until now. As you can see from my last post, I'm fully excited about my success journal. I'm more an online journaller, I've kept a blog about my weight journey for over 2 years - for a while there I was blogging every day, but more about the mechanics of it rather than the emotions of it. IOWL is more a personal journey for me, so the journalling is going onto paper, and I'm just praising 's method to anyone who'll read about it on my blog. I can't wait to hear more about your progress! Charlotte xx > ** > > > Welcome, ! > > Eldred > > > On Mon, Jul 30, 2012 at 3:12 PM, monicajwebb@... > wrote: > > > If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring > enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and > getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > > > -- > Tagline on back-order... > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Welcome - I read everything & can associate with much of what you write! you're on the right course (when I read your comment about a 'program') - you're so right that you're on a mission! go girl!! ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 12:12 PM Subject: Hello IOWL Friends!  Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Hi , I am encouraged by your enthusiasm and have the same intention as you for this journey - to end the struggle with weight and food. I am very thankful to have found this support group and look forward to getting to know you and the other members better. - > > Welcome - I read everything & can associate with much of what you write! you're on the right course (when I read your comment about a 'program') - you're so right that you're on a mission! > > go girl!! > > > > ________________________________ > > To: insideoutweightloss > Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 12:12 PM > Subject: Hello IOWL Friends! > > >  > Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. > > My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. > > My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. > > I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. > > Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. > > If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Hello and others who feel the same. I just did the on line course and although have not experienced a lot of weight release i have experienced some calm acceptance and friendship (other than food lol). Yes i felt the same as yourself and the difference I feel now is amazing. Even without weight release. I know that Will come so am not so frantic. And i love the connections i have made. Enjoy!!! Dora Sent from Samsung Mobile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Hi , So glad you joined us! I don't write much on here as my two little ones zap a lot of my time and energy but I read all of your post and everyone else's too and am always struck by the warmth and compassion of the people in this group. Warmly, Niki Sent from my iPod > Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. > > My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. > > My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. > > I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. > > Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. > > If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Thanks . And welcome to all the other new posters. I have not been very active lately. I am staying stable and may have lost a pound or two this Summer. I must admit I still try to eat my way out of difficult emotions. Today I was feeling tired, discouraged and having a hard time feeling love for myself or from others. I ate a bag of chips and drank a can of pop. This is not a lot, and in the past I would have had the family size bag and the 2 litre in this situation. Progress, not perfection but I do feel better when I avoid the grease and the sugar. I am finding that it is not that hard for me to cut the sugar out of my coffee. It is just as good with the milk only. Years ago I only drank coffee black. I am grappling with big changes. I miss teaching music but it has been such a struggle making enough money that way. Trucking does not pay much more but it is steady, and has a dental plan. I sometimes feel I am wasting my life doing this, and I miss my other career as a pastor. I am not needed there because I disqualified myself with certain past actions. I do know that life keeps changing and I can remind myself that perhaps in a few years I can go back to teaching and playing music full time. Â Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp Freelance Musician 426 Pinehouse Drive Saskatoon Sk S7K4X5 ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 1:12:29 PM Subject: Hello IOWL Friends! Â Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Hi Carlton, I noticed you've been quiet lately.... That does really sound like progress--going for the smaller sizes, and noticing how it makes you feel. Do you have a list of things to do when you're feeling down like that, instead of turning to food? I think that if you are meant to go back to music or the ministry (in one form or another), you will find a way. Or a way will find you! >________________________________ > >To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > >Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 5:40 AM >Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > >Thanks . > >And welcome to all the other new posters. I have not been very active lately. I am staying stable and may have lost a pound or two this Summer. I must admit I still try to eat my way out of difficult emotions. Today I was feeling tired, discouraged and having a hard time feeling love for myself or from others. I ate a bag of chips and drank a can of pop. This is not a lot, and in the past I would have had the family size bag and the 2 litre in this situation. Progress, not perfection but I do feel better when I avoid the grease and the sugar. I am finding that it is not that hard for me to cut the sugar out of my coffee. It is just as good with the milk only. Years ago I only drank coffee black. > >I am grappling with big changes. I miss teaching music but it has been such a struggle making enough money that way. Trucking does not pay much more but it is steady, and has a dental plan. I sometimes feel I am wasting my life doing this, and I miss my other career as a pastor. I am not needed there because I disqualified myself with certain past actions. I do know that life keeps changing and I can remind myself that perhaps in a few years I can go back to teaching and playing music full time. > > >Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp >Freelance Musician >426 Pinehouse Drive >Saskatoon Sk >S7K4X5 > >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 1:12:29 PM >Subject: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > >Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. > >My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. > >My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. > >I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. > >Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. > >If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Hi - Thanks for thinking of me as a new friend. I could relate to so many things in your story (life). Thanks for sharing. Good to now feel alone. On Mon, Jul 30, 2012 at 12:12 PM, monicajwebb@... wrote: > ** > > > Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new > friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just > like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside > network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never > participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I > feel apprehensive. > > My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight > and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've > binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed > by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss > medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first > memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I > hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I > said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. > I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that > time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food > since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. > > My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically > and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My > internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that > rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your > encouragement. > > I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone > tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew > immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today > is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the > online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel > overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. > > Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I > briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off > IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding > anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program > (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. > So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I > can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that > statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to > need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my > head. > > If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring > enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and > getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2012 Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 Hi Carlton, Is there anyway you could keep one or two music students? Or are you long-haul truck driver? Great job staying stable with a new job/stress in your life. I hope you soon see how awesome of a person you are. Corinna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2012 Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 Hi.. Dang in , you went and got me all teared up. This group is so sweet, it is a wonder any of us can still crave sugar. I have a HUGE list of things I have to do. Things like lawn and taxes and the dishwasher to fix and load and unload, kids to wake and settle and internet to fix (it was down all weekend). I do not have a very long list of things I like to do for myself. This list is one of them, and another support list for a different issue. I have a 12 step meeting I try to get to every week and I push pretty hard to keep that from getting over-ruled or interfered with. I would like to fix up one of my motorcycles but there always seems to be several things that are more urgent, and truly they are often very important. When I get the chance to have " me time " I usually am tired enough to just go to bed early or have a nap. Life is hectic with 3 boys at home, two of them almost adults and one a teen. I am hoping life will settle down a bit this September when my middle son goes back to school and the eldest is able to move out on his own. Right now one problem is that a chocolate bar or salty " treat " seems like such an efficient and manageable way to " treat " myself in the middle of all this scrambling. The problem is that there just seems to be so little time to do anything I really want to. I do enjoy going for a walk with my wife, and we do some music together, but right now we are focused on a tour of children's concerts she has booked, so she is very much in the driver's seat there and I am her band. Given the chance, I would be jamming at the local blues club, but there is never time for things like that. Career wise, I am just hoping that the right opening comes along at the right time. In 4 years my youngest will be out of high school. He deserves to go to the same great band program his brothers enjoyed so much and I want to do that for him. Ministry would mean a move away to a small town to resume " paying my dues " in the wilderness. Urban churches are rare and prized. I would return at the bottom of the pecking order. Music is a heartbreak of an industry with no benefits and a guarantee of nothing but struggle. It pays even worse than ministry, and that is saying something. What has this to do with IOWL you may well ask? Well the tools teaches are helpful in coping with disappointment and low self esteem. I am learning acceptance and gratitude. I am where I am right now and this is the best I can do unless something better comes along. I am looking forward to taking a few students in September. Today I enjoyed the skies and the breeze. I met some nice people. I drove safely and did my best. I am looking forward to sleep tonight and I will rest well because I am tired.  Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp Freelance Musician 426 Pinehouse Drive Saskatoon Sk S7K4X5 ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 1:11:56 PM Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends!  Hi Carlton, I noticed you've been quiet lately.... That does really sound like progress--going for the smaller sizes, and noticing how it makes you feel. Do you have a list of things to do when you're feeling down like that, instead of turning to food? I think that if you are meant to go back to music or the ministry (in one form or another), you will find a way. Or a way will find you! >________________________________ > >To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > >Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 5:40 AM >Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > >Thanks . > >And welcome to all the other new posters. I have not been very active lately. I am staying stable and may have lost a pound or two this Summer. I must admit I still try to eat my way out of difficult emotions. Today I was feeling tired, discouraged and having a hard time feeling love for myself or from others. I ate a bag of chips and drank a can of pop. This is not a lot, and in the past I would have had the family size bag and the 2 litre in this situation. Progress, not perfection but I do feel better when I avoid the grease and the sugar. I am finding that it is not that hard for me to cut the sugar out of my coffee. It is just as good with the milk only. Years ago I only drank coffee black. > >I am grappling with big changes. I miss teaching music but it has been such a struggle making enough money that way. Trucking does not pay much more but it is steady, and has a dental plan. I sometimes feel I am wasting my life doing this, and I miss my other career as a pastor. I am not needed there because I disqualified myself with certain past actions. I do know that life keeps changing and I can remind myself that perhaps in a few years I can go back to teaching and playing music full time. > > >Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp >Freelance Musician >426 Pinehouse Drive >Saskatoon Sk >S7K4X5 > >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 1:12:29 PM >Subject: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > >Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. > >My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. > >My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. > >I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. > >Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. > >If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2012 Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 Hi Carlton, You sound quite positive and really good. Self-acceptance and gratitude seem to be KEY - very important aspects of IOWL for the long haul. Does anyone know if ever posted " Yes and No to Self Acceptance " ? She mentions wanting to do it in a few of the podcasts, but I couldn't find it. Anyway, thanks for your post and reminders of focusing on all we have, inside and out! ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Wednesday, August 1, 2012 9:57 PM Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends!  Hi.. Dang in , you went and got me all teared up. This group is so sweet, it is a wonder any of us can still crave sugar. I have a HUGE list of things I have to do. Things like lawn and taxes and the dishwasher to fix and load and unload, kids to wake and settle and internet to fix (it was down all weekend). I do not have a very long list of things I like to do for myself. This list is one of them, and another support list for a different issue. I have a 12 step meeting I try to get to every week and I push pretty hard to keep that from getting over-ruled or interfered with. I would like to fix up one of my motorcycles but there always seems to be several things that are more urgent, and truly they are often very important. When I get the chance to have " me time " I usually am tired enough to just go to bed early or have a nap. Life is hectic with 3 boys at home, two of them almost adults and one a teen. I am hoping life will settle down a bit this September when my middle son goes back to school and the eldest is able to move out on his own. Right now one problem is that a chocolate bar or salty " treat " seems like such an efficient and manageable way to " treat " myself in the middle of all this scrambling. The problem is that there just seems to be so little time to do anything I really want to. I do enjoy going for a walk with my wife, and we do some music together, but right now we are focused on a tour of children's concerts she has booked, so she is very much in the driver's seat there and I am her band. Given the chance, I would be jamming at the local blues club, but there is never time for things like that. Career wise, I am just hoping that the right opening comes along at the right time. In 4 years my youngest will be out of high school. He deserves to go to the same great band program his brothers enjoyed so much and I want to do that for him. Ministry would mean a move away to a small town to resume " paying my dues " in the wilderness. Urban churches are rare and prized. I would return at the bottom of the pecking order. Music is a heartbreak of an industry with no benefits and a guarantee of nothing but struggle. It pays even worse than ministry, and that is saying something. What has this to do with IOWL you may well ask? Well the tools teaches are helpful in coping with disappointment and low self esteem. I am learning acceptance and gratitude. I am where I am right now and this is the best I can do unless something better comes along. I am looking forward to taking a few students in September. Today I enjoyed the skies and the breeze. I met some nice people. I drove safely and did my best. I am looking forward to sleep tonight and I will rest well because I am tired.  Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp Freelance Musician 426 Pinehouse Drive Saskatoon Sk S7K4X5 ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 1:11:56 PM Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends!  Hi Carlton, I noticed you've been quiet lately.... That does really sound like progress--going for the smaller sizes, and noticing how it makes you feel. Do you have a list of things to do when you're feeling down like that, instead of turning to food? I think that if you are meant to go back to music or the ministry (in one form or another), you will find a way. Or a way will find you! >________________________________ > >To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > >Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 5:40 AM >Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > >Thanks . > >And welcome to all the other new posters. I have not been very active lately. I am staying stable and may have lost a pound or two this Summer. I must admit I still try to eat my way out of difficult emotions. Today I was feeling tired, discouraged and having a hard time feeling love for myself or from others. I ate a bag of chips and drank a can of pop. This is not a lot, and in the past I would have had the family size bag and the 2 litre in this situation. Progress, not perfection but I do feel better when I avoid the grease and the sugar. I am finding that it is not that hard for me to cut the sugar out of my coffee. It is just as good with the milk only. Years ago I only drank coffee black. > >I am grappling with big changes. I miss teaching music but it has been such a struggle making enough money that way. Trucking does not pay much more but it is steady, and has a dental plan. I sometimes feel I am wasting my life doing this, and I miss my other career as a pastor. I am not needed there because I disqualified myself with certain past actions. I do know that life keeps changing and I can remind myself that perhaps in a few years I can go back to teaching and playing music full time. > > >Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp >Freelance Musician >426 Pinehouse Drive >Saskatoon Sk >S7K4X5 > >________________________________ > >To: insideoutweightloss >Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 1:12:29 PM >Subject: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > >Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. > >My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. > >My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. > >I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. > >Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. > >If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2012 Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 Hi Carlton, It sounds like you are really doing a lot for your family. It can be hard to find time for you in all that! I can relate to having sweets in the midst of family craziness. I'm home with the kids and frankly, sometimes I eat because I want something for " me " and I don't know how else to get that feeling of self care. Is there any way you could, say pencil in some motorcycle time? I've been doing fifteen minute work outs for the last two months and it is so satisfying. It's just a little chunk of time but so satisfying and better for everyone in the family if I take it. Cheers, Niki Sent from my iPod > Hi.. > > Dang in , you went and got me all teared up. This group is so sweet, it is a wonder any of us can still crave sugar. > > I have a HUGE list of things I have to do. Things like lawn and taxes and the dishwasher to fix and load and unload, kids to wake and settle and internet to fix (it was down all weekend). I do not have a very long list of things I like to do for myself. This list is one of them, and another support list for a different issue. I have a 12 step meeting I try to get to every week and I push pretty hard to keep that from getting over-ruled or interfered with. I would like to fix up one of my motorcycles but there always seems to be several things that are more urgent, and truly they are often very important. When I get the chance to have " me time " I usually am tired enough to just go to bed early or have a nap. Life is hectic with 3 boys at home, two of them almost adults and one a teen. > > I am hoping life will settle down a bit this September when my middle son goes back to school and the eldest is able to move out on his own. Right now one problem is that a chocolate bar or salty " treat " seems like such an efficient and manageable way to " treat " myself in the middle of all this scrambling. The problem is that there just seems to be so little time to do anything I really want to. I do enjoy going for a walk with my wife, and we do some music together, but right now we are focused on a tour of children's concerts she has booked, so she is very much in the driver's seat there and I am her band. Given the chance, I would be jamming at the local blues club, but there is never time for things like that. > > Career wise, I am just hoping that the right opening comes along at the right time. In 4 years my youngest will be out of high school. He deserves to go to the same great band program his brothers enjoyed so much and I want to do that for him. Ministry would mean a move away to a small town to resume " paying my dues " in the wilderness. Urban churches are rare and prized. I would return at the bottom of the pecking order. Music is a heartbreak of an industry with no benefits and a guarantee of nothing but struggle. It pays even worse than ministry, and that is saying something. > > What has this to do with IOWL you may well ask? Well the tools teaches are helpful in coping with disappointment and low self esteem. I am learning acceptance and gratitude. I am where I am right now and this is the best I can do unless something better comes along. I am looking forward to taking a few students in September. Today I enjoyed the skies and the breeze. I met some nice people. I drove safely and did my best. I am looking forward to sleep tonight and I will rest well because I am tired. > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > Freelance Musician > 426 Pinehouse Drive > Saskatoon Sk > S7K4X5 > > ________________________________ > > To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > > Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 1:11:56 PM > Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > Hi Carlton, > > I noticed you've been quiet lately.... That does really sound like progress--going for the smaller sizes, and noticing how it makes you feel. > > Do you have a list of things to do when you're feeling down like that, instead of turning to food? > > I think that if you are meant to go back to music or the ministry (in one form or another), you will find a way. Or a way will find you! > > > > >________________________________ > > > >To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > > >Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 5:40 AM > >Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > >Thanks . > > > >And welcome to all the other new posters. I have not been very active lately. I am staying stable and may have lost a pound or two this Summer. I must admit I still try to eat my way out of difficult emotions. Today I was feeling tired, discouraged and having a hard time feeling love for myself or from others. I ate a bag of chips and drank a can of pop. This is not a lot, and in the past I would have had the family size bag and the 2 litre in this situation. Progress, not perfection but I do feel better when I avoid the grease and the sugar. I am finding that it is not that hard for me to cut the sugar out of my coffee. It is just as good with the milk only. Years ago I only drank coffee black. > > > >I am grappling with big changes. I miss teaching music but it has been such a struggle making enough money that way. Trucking does not pay much more but it is steady, and has a dental plan. I sometimes feel I am wasting my life doing this, and I miss my other career as a pastor. I am not needed there because I disqualified myself with certain past actions. I do know that life keeps changing and I can remind myself that perhaps in a few years I can go back to teaching and playing music full time. > > > > > >Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > >Freelance Musician > >426 Pinehouse Drive > >Saskatoon Sk > >S7K4X5 > > > >________________________________ > > > >To: insideoutweightloss > >Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 1:12:29 PM > >Subject: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > >Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. > > > >My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. > > > >My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. > > > >I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. > > > >Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. > > > >If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2012 Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 Good morning Carlton! I hope you had a restful night of sleep. Thank you for sharing your life. I can relate to your statement " I am where I am and I do the best I can. "  I applaud you for being truly present for your wife and children. Your wife couldn't make it with you and your dedication to your boys will not be forgotten by them later in their lives. I wish I had a dad that was dedicated to family like you are. I've been making a list of ways to nurture myself. I can't say treat because my mind immediately goes to food. I like Niki's 15 minute suggestion. I need to organize my ideas based on how much time each one will take. Then when I feel the urge to treat (oops...reward) myself, I'll have ideas ready to go. I have a hunch you are in a beautiful, scenic place. Maybe you could squeeze in a quick walk and stop to enjoy the beauty while you are on the road or doing the children's concert tours with your wife? Even though 15 minutes isn't much time for fixing up a motorcycle, it's 15 more minutes that 0 minutes. Take care of yourself and remember your IOWL friends care! ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Wed, August 1, 2012 9:51:51 PM Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends!  Hi Carlton, It sounds like you are really doing a lot for your family. It can be hard to find time for you in all that! I can relate to having sweets in the midst of family craziness. I'm home with the kids and frankly, sometimes I eat because I want something for " me " and I don't know how else to get that feeling of self care. Is there any way you could, say pencil in some motorcycle time? I've been doing fifteen minute work outs for the last two months and it is so satisfying. It's just a little chunk of time but so satisfying and better for everyone in the family if I take it. Cheers, Niki Sent from my iPod > Hi.. > > Dang in , you went and got me all teared up. This group is so sweet, it is >a wonder any of us can still crave sugar. > > > I have a HUGE list of things I have to do. Things like lawn and taxes and the >dishwasher to fix and load and unload, kids to wake and settle and internet to >fix (it was down all weekend). I do not have a very long list of things I like >to do for myself. This list is one of them, and another support list for a >different issue. I have a 12 step meeting I try to get to every week and I push >pretty hard to keep that from getting over-ruled or interfered with. I would >like to fix up one of my motorcycles but there always seems to be several things >that are more urgent, and truly they are often very important. When I get the >chance to have " me time " I usually am tired enough to just go to bed early or >have a nap. Life is hectic with 3 boys at home, two of them almost adults and >one a teen. > > > I am hoping life will settle down a bit this September when my middle son goes >back to school and the eldest is able to move out on his own. Right now one >problem is that a chocolate bar or salty " treat " seems like such an efficient >and manageable way to " treat " myself in the middle of all this scrambling. The >problem is that there just seems to be so little time to do anything I really >want to. I do enjoy going for a walk with my wife, and we do some music >together, but right now we are focused on a tour of children's concerts she has >booked, so she is very much in the driver's seat there and I am her band. Given >the chance, I would be jamming at the local blues club, but there is never time >for things like that. > > > Career wise, I am just hoping that the right opening comes along at the right >time. In 4 years my youngest will be out of high school. He deserves to go to >the same great band program his brothers enjoyed so much and I want to do that >for him. Ministry would mean a move away to a small town to resume " paying my >dues " in the wilderness. Urban churches are rare and prized. I would return at >the bottom of the pecking order. Music is a heartbreak of an industry with no >benefits and a guarantee of nothing but struggle. It pays even worse than >ministry, and that is saying something. > > > What has this to do with IOWL you may well ask? Well the tools teaches >are helpful in coping with disappointment and low self esteem. I am learning >acceptance and gratitude. I am where I am right now and this is the best I can >do unless something better comes along. I am looking forward to taking a few >students in September. Today I enjoyed the skies and the breeze. I met some nice >people. I drove safely and did my best. I am looking forward to sleep tonight >and I will rest well because I am tired. > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > Freelance Musician > 426 Pinehouse Drive > Saskatoon Sk > S7K4X5 > > ________________________________ > > To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > > > Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 1:11:56 PM > Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > Hi Carlton, > > I noticed you've been quiet lately.... That does really sound like >progress--going for the smaller sizes, and noticing how it makes you feel. > > > Do you have a list of things to do when you're feeling down like that, instead >of turning to food? > > > I think that if you are meant to go back to music or the ministry (in one form >or another), you will find a way. Or a way will find you! > > > > >________________________________ > > > >To: " insideoutweightloss " ><insideoutweightloss > > > >Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 5:40 AM > >Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > >Thanks . > > > >And welcome to all the other new posters. I have not been very active lately. >I am staying stable and may have lost a pound or two this Summer. I must admit I >still try to eat my way out of difficult emotions. Today I was feeling tired, >discouraged and having a hard time feeling love for myself or from others. I ate >a bag of chips and drank a can of pop. This is not a lot, and in the past I >would have had the family size bag and the 2 litre in this situation. Progress, >not perfection but I do feel better when I avoid the grease and the sugar. I am >finding that it is not that hard for me to cut the sugar out of my coffee. It is >just as good with the milk only. Years ago I only drank coffee black. > > > > >I am grappling with big changes. I miss teaching music but it has been such a >struggle making enough money that way. Trucking does not pay much more but it is >steady, and has a dental plan. I sometimes feel I am wasting my life doing this, >and I miss my other career as a pastor. I am not needed there because I >disqualified myself with certain past actions. I do know that life keeps >changing and I can remind myself that perhaps in a few years I can go back to >teaching and playing music full time. > > > > > > >Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > >Freelance Musician > >426 Pinehouse Drive > >Saskatoon Sk > >S7K4X5 > > > >________________________________ > > > >To: insideoutweightloss > >Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 1:12:29 PM > >Subject: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > >Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, >this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of >you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or >family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm >stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. > > > >My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and >have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, >purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, >seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used >antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a >dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted >to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I >was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must >have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an >unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a >compulsive overeater. > > > >My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and >mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal >tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I >know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. > > > >I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me >about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that >understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm >going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I >need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by >step, one day at a time. > > > >Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I >briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL >for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding >anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program >(like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, >yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put >my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for >the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and >encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. > > > > >If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough >to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know >you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2012 Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 Hi , Niki and Carlton, That is a great suggestion! Any time we take to nurture ourselves is beneficial. I've recently starting playing my flute again after 8 years (since my daughter was born). I had every excuse in the book about why I couldn't do it anymore. But as I've been on the IOWL journey, I've found that I'm really interested in renewing myself in deeper ways. Suddenly the flute called to me and I just took it out and started playing. It feels amazing. And many days I only have 10-15 minutes to play, but that's enough! I mean more time is better, but even that short time connects me with that part of myself. Best, ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Thursday, August 2, 2012 9:05 AM Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends!  Good morning Carlton! I hope you had a restful night of sleep. Thank you for sharing your life. I can relate to your statement " I am where I am and I do the best I can. "  I applaud you for being truly present for your wife and children. Your wife couldn't make it with you and your dedication to your boys will not be forgotten by them later in their lives. I wish I had a dad that was dedicated to family like you are. I've been making a list of ways to nurture myself. I can't say treat because my mind immediately goes to food. I like Niki's 15 minute suggestion. I need to organize my ideas based on how much time each one will take. Then when I feel the urge to treat (oops...reward) myself, I'll have ideas ready to go. I have a hunch you are in a beautiful, scenic place. Maybe you could squeeze in a quick walk and stop to enjoy the beauty while you are on the road or doing the children's concert tours with your wife? Even though 15 minutes isn't much time for fixing up a motorcycle, it's 15 more minutes that 0 minutes. Take care of yourself and remember your IOWL friends care! ________________________________ To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > Sent: Wed, August 1, 2012 9:51:51 PM Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends!  Hi Carlton, It sounds like you are really doing a lot for your family. It can be hard to find time for you in all that! I can relate to having sweets in the midst of family craziness. I'm home with the kids and frankly, sometimes I eat because I want something for " me " and I don't know how else to get that feeling of self care. Is there any way you could, say pencil in some motorcycle time? I've been doing fifteen minute work outs for the last two months and it is so satisfying. It's just a little chunk of time but so satisfying and better for everyone in the family if I take it. Cheers, Niki Sent from my iPod > Hi.. > > Dang in , you went and got me all teared up. This group is so sweet, it is >a wonder any of us can still crave sugar. > > > I have a HUGE list of things I have to do. Things like lawn and taxes and the >dishwasher to fix and load and unload, kids to wake and settle and internet to >fix (it was down all weekend). I do not have a very long list of things I like >to do for myself. This list is one of them, and another support list for a >different issue. I have a 12 step meeting I try to get to every week and I push >pretty hard to keep that from getting over-ruled or interfered with. I would >like to fix up one of my motorcycles but there always seems to be several things >that are more urgent, and truly they are often very important. When I get the >chance to have " me time " I usually am tired enough to just go to bed early or >have a nap. Life is hectic with 3 boys at home, two of them almost adults and >one a teen. > > > I am hoping life will settle down a bit this September when my middle son goes >back to school and the eldest is able to move out on his own. Right now one >problem is that a chocolate bar or salty " treat " seems like such an efficient >and manageable way to " treat " myself in the middle of all this scrambling. The >problem is that there just seems to be so little time to do anything I really >want to. I do enjoy going for a walk with my wife, and we do some music >together, but right now we are focused on a tour of children's concerts she has >booked, so she is very much in the driver's seat there and I am her band. Given >the chance, I would be jamming at the local blues club, but there is never time >for things like that. > > > Career wise, I am just hoping that the right opening comes along at the right >time. In 4 years my youngest will be out of high school. He deserves to go to >the same great band program his brothers enjoyed so much and I want to do that >for him. Ministry would mean a move away to a small town to resume " paying my >dues " in the wilderness. Urban churches are rare and prized. I would return at >the bottom of the pecking order. Music is a heartbreak of an industry with no >benefits and a guarantee of nothing but struggle. It pays even worse than >ministry, and that is saying something. > > > What has this to do with IOWL you may well ask? Well the tools teaches >are helpful in coping with disappointment and low self esteem. I am learning >acceptance and gratitude. I am where I am right now and this is the best I can >do unless something better comes along. I am looking forward to taking a few >students in September. Today I enjoyed the skies and the breeze. I met some nice >people. I drove safely and did my best. I am looking forward to sleep tonight >and I will rest well because I am tired. > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > Freelance Musician > 426 Pinehouse Drive > Saskatoon Sk > S7K4X5 > > ________________________________ > > To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > > > Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 1:11:56 PM > Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > Hi Carlton, > > I noticed you've been quiet lately.... That does really sound like >progress--going for the smaller sizes, and noticing how it makes you feel. > > > Do you have a list of things to do when you're feeling down like that, instead >of turning to food? > > > I think that if you are meant to go back to music or the ministry (in one form >or another), you will find a way. Or a way will find you! > > > > >________________________________ > > > >To: " insideoutweightloss " ><insideoutweightloss > > > >Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 5:40 AM > >Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > >Thanks . > > > >And welcome to all the other new posters. I have not been very active lately. >I am staying stable and may have lost a pound or two this Summer. I must admit I >still try to eat my way out of difficult emotions. Today I was feeling tired, >discouraged and having a hard time feeling love for myself or from others. I ate >a bag of chips and drank a can of pop. This is not a lot, and in the past I >would have had the family size bag and the 2 litre in this situation. Progress, >not perfection but I do feel better when I avoid the grease and the sugar. I am >finding that it is not that hard for me to cut the sugar out of my coffee. It is >just as good with the milk only. Years ago I only drank coffee black. > > > > >I am grappling with big changes. I miss teaching music but it has been such a >struggle making enough money that way. Trucking does not pay much more but it is >steady, and has a dental plan. I sometimes feel I am wasting my life doing this, >and I miss my other career as a pastor. I am not needed there because I >disqualified myself with certain past actions. I do know that life keeps >changing and I can remind myself that perhaps in a few years I can go back to >teaching and playing music full time. > > > > > > >Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > >Freelance Musician > >426 Pinehouse Drive > >Saskatoon Sk > >S7K4X5 > > > >________________________________ > > > >To: insideoutweightloss > >Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 1:12:29 PM > >Subject: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > >Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, >this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of >you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or >family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm >stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. > > > >My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and >have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, >purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, >seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used >antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a >dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted >to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I >was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must >have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an >unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a >compulsive overeater. > > > >My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and >mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal >tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I >know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. > > > >I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me >about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that >understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm >going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I >need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by >step, one day at a time. > > > >Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I >briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL >for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding >anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program >(like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, >yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put >my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for >the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and >encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. > > > > >If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough >to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know >you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 2, 2012 Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 Interesting . My middle son plays flute. It is a very good workout, as it is the most physically demanding of wind instruments. It takes the most air and breath control. There are real fitness benefits. It also increases body awareness in a way that is much more direct than a string instrument. Guitar players especially need to be reminded to breathe while playing so they sound more human. has helped me connect more to breath with some of the IOWL sessions. It all works together. Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp Freelance Musician 426 Pinehouse Drive Saskatoon Sk S7K4X5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2012 Report Share Posted August 3, 2012 Oooh, Carlton, as a string player (violin) I was all ready to (gently) jump down your throat about your string instrument comment, but then I checked my knee-jerk reaction, stopped and thought about it for a second, and realised that you're absolutely right! Violin, while being probably as physically demanding as flute in other ways, doesn't require so much focus on breathing. The amount of times I've got to the end of a particularly gruelling solo passage and realised that I was out of breath because I'd be *holding* my breath!! How do you connect your breathing to the yowler sessions? I've been picking up my guitar and violin a lot more recently - every time I'm at home and feel a craving, I try and direct myself that way rather than to the fridge or pantry. My Fiance knows I'm peckish for carbs when he hears the music... ;-) Cx > ** > > > Interesting . > > My middle son plays flute. It is a very good workout, as it is the most > physically demanding of wind instruments. It takes the most air and breath > control. There are real fitness benefits. It also increases body awareness > in a way that is much more direct than a string instrument. Guitar players > especially need to be reminded to breathe while playing so they sound more > human. has helped me connect more to breath with some of the IOWL > sessions. It all works together. > > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > Freelance Musician > 426 Pinehouse Drive > Saskatoon Sk > S7K4X5 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2012 Report Share Posted August 3, 2012 Great to know Carlson!!! So many benefits inside and out!!! Sent from my iPhone > Interesting . > > My middle son plays flute. It is a very good workout, as it is the most physically demanding of wind instruments. It takes the most air and breath control. There are real fitness benefits. It also increases body awareness in a way that is much more direct than a string instrument. Guitar players especially need to be reminded to breathe while playing so they sound more human. has helped me connect more to breath with some of the IOWL sessions. It all works together. > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > Freelance Musician > 426 Pinehouse Drive > Saskatoon Sk > S7K4X5 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 3, 2012 Report Share Posted August 3, 2012 I love that we are all using music as a renewal strategy - what a nourishing and creative choice. ________________________________ To: insideoutweightloss Sent: Thursday, August 2, 2012 11:39 PM Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! Â Oooh, Carlton, as a string player (violin) I was all ready to (gently) jump down your throat about your string instrument comment, but then I checked my knee-jerk reaction, stopped and thought about it for a second, and realised that you're absolutely right! Violin, while being probably as physically demanding as flute in other ways, doesn't require so much focus on breathing. The amount of times I've got to the end of a particularly gruelling solo passage and realised that I was out of breath because I'd be *holding* my breath!! How do you connect your breathing to the yowler sessions? I've been picking up my guitar and violin a lot more recently - every time I'm at home and feel a craving, I try and direct myself that way rather than to the fridge or pantry. My Fiance knows I'm peckish for carbs when he hears the music... ;-) Cx > ** > > > Interesting . > > My middle son plays flute. It is a very good workout, as it is the most > physically demanding of wind instruments. It takes the most air and breath > control. There are real fitness benefits. It also increases body awareness > in a way that is much more direct than a string instrument. Guitar players > especially need to be reminded to breathe while playing so they sound more > human. has helped me connect more to breath with some of the IOWL > sessions. It all works together. > > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > Freelance Musician > 426 Pinehouse Drive > Saskatoon Sk > S7K4X5 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2012 Report Share Posted August 4, 2012 LOL Well my throat gets quite sore from having jump-steps down it from time to time. Short interlude for musicians follows. If you don't play and don't like technical jargon, feel free to skip the next paragraph! Violin (with which I " fiddle around " occasionally) is a fiendishly and notoriously difficult instrument. The action of the bow hand and arm is utterly un-natural and therefore extremely hard to master. What a complex motion, of shoulder, elbow, wrist and fingers, all moving at different rates and angles just to keep a stick moving at precisely 90 degrees to the strings at the same distance from the bridge! And the stretch of the left hand is as great as guitar in spite of the short strings, because of the wider apart intervals of the open strings. So, how to apply to YOWLING? We all have our challenges. Whether the complexity of the bow hand for violinists, the span and strength required for complex barre chords on guitar, the brute force required for working heavy bass strings, the air volume and control for flute, the backpressure of the trumpet. Everybody has particular challenges. Our body is our instrument for living and whatever kind of instrument we have, we need to keep breathing to nurture it, keep it clean and operating as best we can, and then try to make music (beauty) in every and any way we can. How is that for an extended metaphor?  Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp Freelance Musician 426 Pinehouse Drive Saskatoon Sk S7K4X5  Oooh, Carlton, as a string player (violin) I was all ready to (gently) jump down your throat about your string instrument comment, but then I checked my knee-jerk reaction, stopped and thought about it for a second, and realised that you're absolutely right! Violin, while being probably as physically demanding as flute in other ways, doesn't require so much focus on breathing. The amount of times I've got to the end of a particularly gruelling solo passage and realised that I was out of breath because I'd be *holding* my breath!! How do you connect your breathing to the yowler sessions? I've been picking up my guitar and violin a lot more recently - every time I'm at home and feel a craving, I try and direct myself that way rather than to the fridge or pantry. My Fiance knows I'm peckish for carbs when he hears the music... ;-) Cx > ** > > > Interesting . > > My middle son plays flute. It is a very good workout, as it is the most > physically demanding of wind instruments. It takes the most air and breath > control. There are real fitness benefits. It also increases body awareness > in a way that is much more direct than a string instrument. Guitar players > especially need to be reminded to breathe while playing so they sound more > human. has helped me connect more to breath with some of the IOWL > sessions. It all works together. > > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > Freelance Musician > 426 Pinehouse Drive > Saskatoon Sk > S7K4X5 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2012 Report Share Posted August 4, 2012 HA! Nice one Carlton. I have to say, I completely forget how right you are - the coordination in the bow arm is pretty amazing on Fiddle. I've been playing almost since I learned to walk, so I guess I forgot how unnatural it is. Barre chords on the other hand - YOWCH! But yes, in order for an instrument to be played properly, it has to be cared for, in tune, and in good condition. And the player has to BREATHE! Charlotte x > ** > > > LOL > > Well my throat gets quite sore from having jump-steps down it from time to > time. > > Short interlude for musicians follows. If you don't play and don't like > technical jargon, feel free to skip the next paragraph! > > Violin (with which I " fiddle around " occasionally) is a fiendishly and > notoriously difficult instrument. The action of the bow hand and arm is > utterly un-natural and therefore extremely hard to master. What a complex > motion, of shoulder, elbow, wrist and fingers, all moving at different > rates and angles just to keep a stick moving at precisely 90 degrees to the > strings at the same distance from the bridge! And the stretch of the left > hand is as great as guitar in spite of the short strings, because of the > wider apart intervals of the open strings. > > So, how to apply to YOWLING? We all have our challenges. Whether the > complexity of the bow hand for violinists, the span and strength required > for complex barre chords on guitar, the brute force required for working > heavy bass strings, the air volume and control for flute, the backpressure > of the trumpet. Everybody has particular challenges. Our body is our > instrument for living and whatever kind of instrument we have, we need to > keep breathing to nurture it, keep it clean and operating as best we can, > and then try to make music (beauty) in every and any way we can. > > How is that for an extended metaphor? > > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > Freelance Musician > 426 Pinehouse Drive > Saskatoon Sk > S7K4X5 > > > Oooh, Carlton, as a string player (violin) I was all ready to (gently) jump > down your throat about your string instrument comment, but then I checked > my knee-jerk reaction, stopped and thought about it for a second, and > realised that you're absolutely right! Violin, while being probably as > physically demanding as flute in other ways, doesn't require so much focus > on breathing. The amount of times I've got to the end of a particularly > gruelling solo passage and realised that I was out of breath because I'd be > *holding* my breath!! > > > How do you connect your breathing to the yowler sessions? I've been picking > up my guitar and violin a lot more recently - every time I'm at home and > feel a craving, I try and direct myself that way rather than to the fridge > or pantry. My Fiance knows I'm peckish for carbs when he hears the music... > ;-) > > Cx > > > > > ** > > > > > > > Interesting . > > > > My middle son plays flute. It is a very good workout, as it is the most > > physically demanding of wind instruments. It takes the most air and > breath > > control. There are real fitness benefits. It also increases body > awareness > > in a way that is much more direct than a string instrument. Guitar > players > > especially need to be reminded to breathe while playing so they sound > more > > human. has helped me connect more to breath with some of the IOWL > > sessions. It all works together. > > > > > > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > > Freelance Musician > > 426 Pinehouse Drive > > Saskatoon Sk > > S7K4X5 > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 4, 2012 Report Share Posted August 4, 2012 It's a beautiful extended metaphor. :-) >________________________________ > >To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > >Sent: Saturday, August 4, 2012 11:09 PM >Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > >LOL > >Well my throat gets quite sore from having jump-steps down it from time to time. > >Short interlude for musicians follows. If you don't play and don't like technical jargon, feel free to skip the next paragraph! > >Violin (with which I " fiddle around " occasionally) is a fiendishly and notoriously difficult instrument. The action of the bow hand and arm is utterly un-natural and therefore extremely hard to master. What a complex motion, of shoulder, elbow, wrist and fingers, all moving at different rates and angles just to keep a stick moving at precisely 90 degrees to the strings at the same distance from the bridge! And the stretch of the left hand is as great as guitar in spite of the short strings, because of the wider apart intervals of the open strings. > >So, how to apply to YOWLING? We all have our challenges. Whether the complexity of the bow hand for violinists, the span and strength required for complex barre chords on guitar, the brute force required for working heavy bass strings, the air volume and control for flute, the backpressure of the trumpet. Everybody has particular challenges. Our body is our instrument for living and whatever kind of instrument we have, we need to keep breathing to nurture it, keep it clean and operating as best we can, and then try to make music (beauty) in every and any way we can. > >How is that for an extended metaphor? > > >Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp >Freelance Musician >426 Pinehouse Drive >Saskatoon Sk >S7K4X5 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2012 Report Share Posted August 5, 2012 Wanted to hit the like button! Nicely said... Sent from my iPhone > It's a beautiful extended metaphor. :-) > > > > >________________________________ > > > >To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > > >Sent: Saturday, August 4, 2012 11:09 PM > >Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > >LOL > > > >Well my throat gets quite sore from having jump-steps down it from time to time. > > > >Short interlude for musicians follows. If you don't play and don't like technical jargon, feel free to skip the next paragraph! > > > >Violin (with which I " fiddle around " occasionally) is a fiendishly and notoriously difficult instrument. The action of the bow hand and arm is utterly un-natural and therefore extremely hard to master. What a complex motion, of shoulder, elbow, wrist and fingers, all moving at different rates and angles just to keep a stick moving at precisely 90 degrees to the strings at the same distance from the bridge! And the stretch of the left hand is as great as guitar in spite of the short strings, because of the wider apart intervals of the open strings. > > > >So, how to apply to YOWLING? We all have our challenges. Whether the complexity of the bow hand for violinists, the span and strength required for complex barre chords on guitar, the brute force required for working heavy bass strings, the air volume and control for flute, the backpressure of the trumpet. Everybody has particular challenges. Our body is our instrument for living and whatever kind of instrument we have, we need to keep breathing to nurture it, keep it clean and operating as best we can, and then try to make music (beauty) in every and any way we can. > > > >How is that for an extended metaphor? > > > > > >Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > >Freelance Musician > >426 Pinehouse Drive > >Saskatoon Sk > >S7K4X5 > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2012 Report Share Posted August 5, 2012 I'm jealous! Want so much to play an instrument. Is 52 too old to begin playing guitar? Sent from my iPhone On Aug 4, 2012, at 23:27, Charlotte McClintock wrote: > HA! Nice one Carlton. I have to say, I completely forget how right you are > - the coordination in the bow arm is pretty amazing on Fiddle. I've been > playing almost since I learned to walk, so I guess I forgot how unnatural > it is. Barre chords on the other hand - YOWCH! > > But yes, in order for an instrument to be played properly, it has to be > cared for, in tune, and in good condition. And the player has to BREATHE! > > > > Charlotte x > > > > > ** > > > > > > LOL > > > > Well my throat gets quite sore from having jump-steps down it from time to > > time. > > > > Short interlude for musicians follows. If you don't play and don't like > > technical jargon, feel free to skip the next paragraph! > > > > Violin (with which I " fiddle around " occasionally) is a fiendishly and > > notoriously difficult instrument. The action of the bow hand and arm is > > utterly un-natural and therefore extremely hard to master. What a complex > > motion, of shoulder, elbow, wrist and fingers, all moving at different > > rates and angles just to keep a stick moving at precisely 90 degrees to the > > strings at the same distance from the bridge! And the stretch of the left > > hand is as great as guitar in spite of the short strings, because of the > > wider apart intervals of the open strings. > > > > So, how to apply to YOWLING? We all have our challenges. Whether the > > complexity of the bow hand for violinists, the span and strength required > > for complex barre chords on guitar, the brute force required for working > > heavy bass strings, the air volume and control for flute, the backpressure > > of the trumpet. Everybody has particular challenges. Our body is our > > instrument for living and whatever kind of instrument we have, we need to > > keep breathing to nurture it, keep it clean and operating as best we can, > > and then try to make music (beauty) in every and any way we can. > > > > How is that for an extended metaphor? > > > > > > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > > Freelance Musician > > 426 Pinehouse Drive > > Saskatoon Sk > > S7K4X5 > > > > > > Oooh, Carlton, as a string player (violin) I was all ready to (gently) jump > > down your throat about your string instrument comment, but then I checked > > my knee-jerk reaction, stopped and thought about it for a second, and > > realised that you're absolutely right! Violin, while being probably as > > physically demanding as flute in other ways, doesn't require so much focus > > on breathing. The amount of times I've got to the end of a particularly > > gruelling solo passage and realised that I was out of breath because I'd be > > *holding* my breath!! > > > > > > How do you connect your breathing to the yowler sessions? I've been picking > > up my guitar and violin a lot more recently - every time I'm at home and > > feel a craving, I try and direct myself that way rather than to the fridge > > or pantry. My Fiance knows I'm peckish for carbs when he hears the music... > > ;-) > > > > Cx > > > > > > > > > ** > > > > > > > > > > > Interesting . > > > > > > My middle son plays flute. It is a very good workout, as it is the most > > > physically demanding of wind instruments. It takes the most air and > > breath > > > control. There are real fitness benefits. It also increases body > > awareness > > > in a way that is much more direct than a string instrument. Guitar > > players > > > especially need to be reminded to breathe while playing so they sound > > more > > > human. has helped me connect more to breath with some of the IOWL > > > sessions. It all works together. > > > > > > > > > > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > > > Freelance Musician > > > 426 Pinehouse Drive > > > Saskatoon Sk > > > S7K4X5 > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2012 Report Share Posted August 5, 2012 Hello to everyone. I have been following everyones posts and you all continue to be a great inspiration. Carlton thank you so much for your insights and honesty. You can't imagine how much you express what I'm feeling on most days. Just when I thought I had my sugar addition under control it has reared it's ugly head again this week. I was feeling so positive about my progress; yes, I now know how to get back to eating healthy but I also know what you mean Carlton about the satisfaction of a bowl of ice cream (or two) or a bar of chocolate. It is such a nice way to relax!! I am thinking of taking up the guitar this year. Is it possible to learn to play at 52? I'm thinking that maybe practicing the guitar would be a good alternative to eating and I've always wanted to learn! Sent from my iPhone > Hi Carlton, > > It sounds like you are really doing a lot for your family. It can be hard to find time for you in all that! > > I can relate to having sweets in the midst of family craziness. I'm home with the kids and frankly, sometimes I eat because I want something for " me " and I don't know how else to get that feeling of self care. > > Is there any way you could, say pencil in some motorcycle time? I've been doing fifteen minute work outs for the last two months and it is so satisfying. It's just a little chunk of time but so satisfying and better for everyone in the family if I take it. > > Cheers, > Niki > > Sent from my iPod > > > > > Hi.. > > > > Dang in , you went and got me all teared up. This group is so sweet, it is a wonder any of us can still crave sugar. > > > > I have a HUGE list of things I have to do. Things like lawn and taxes and the dishwasher to fix and load and unload, kids to wake and settle and internet to fix (it was down all weekend). I do not have a very long list of things I like to do for myself. This list is one of them, and another support list for a different issue. I have a 12 step meeting I try to get to every week and I push pretty hard to keep that from getting over-ruled or interfered with. I would like to fix up one of my motorcycles but there always seems to be several things that are more urgent, and truly they are often very important. When I get the chance to have " me time " I usually am tired enough to just go to bed early or have a nap. Life is hectic with 3 boys at home, two of them almost adults and one a teen. > > > > I am hoping life will settle down a bit this September when my middle son goes back to school and the eldest is able to move out on his own. Right now one problem is that a chocolate bar or salty " treat " seems like such an efficient and manageable way to " treat " myself in the middle of all this scrambling. The problem is that there just seems to be so little time to do anything I really want to. I do enjoy going for a walk with my wife, and we do some music together, but right now we are focused on a tour of children's concerts she has booked, so she is very much in the driver's seat there and I am her band. Given the chance, I would be jamming at the local blues club, but there is never time for things like that. > > > > Career wise, I am just hoping that the right opening comes along at the right time. In 4 years my youngest will be out of high school. He deserves to go to the same great band program his brothers enjoyed so much and I want to do that for him. Ministry would mean a move away to a small town to resume " paying my dues " in the wilderness. Urban churches are rare and prized. I would return at the bottom of the pecking order. Music is a heartbreak of an industry with no benefits and a guarantee of nothing but struggle. It pays even worse than ministry, and that is saying something. > > > > What has this to do with IOWL you may well ask? Well the tools teaches are helpful in coping with disappointment and low self esteem. I am learning acceptance and gratitude. I am where I am right now and this is the best I can do unless something better comes along. I am looking forward to taking a few students in September. Today I enjoyed the skies and the breeze. I met some nice people. I drove safely and did my best. I am looking forward to sleep tonight and I will rest well because I am tired. > > > > > > Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > > Freelance Musician > > 426 Pinehouse Drive > > Saskatoon Sk > > S7K4X5 > > > > ________________________________ > > > > To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > > > Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 1:11:56 PM > > Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > > Hi Carlton, > > > > I noticed you've been quiet lately.... That does really sound like progress--going for the smaller sizes, and noticing how it makes you feel. > > > > Do you have a list of things to do when you're feeling down like that, instead of turning to food? > > > > I think that if you are meant to go back to music or the ministry (in one form or another), you will find a way. Or a way will find you! > > > > > > > > >________________________________ > > > > > >To: " insideoutweightloss " <insideoutweightloss > > > >Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 5:40 AM > > >Subject: Re: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > > > > > >Thanks . > > > > > >And welcome to all the other new posters. I have not been very active lately. I am staying stable and may have lost a pound or two this Summer. I must admit I still try to eat my way out of difficult emotions. Today I was feeling tired, discouraged and having a hard time feeling love for myself or from others. I ate a bag of chips and drank a can of pop. This is not a lot, and in the past I would have had the family size bag and the 2 litre in this situation. Progress, not perfection but I do feel better when I avoid the grease and the sugar. I am finding that it is not that hard for me to cut the sugar out of my coffee. It is just as good with the milk only. Years ago I only drank coffee black. > > > > > >I am grappling with big changes. I miss teaching music but it has been such a struggle making enough money that way. Trucking does not pay much more but it is steady, and has a dental plan. I sometimes feel I am wasting my life doing this, and I miss my other career as a pastor. I am not needed there because I disqualified myself with certain past actions. I do know that life keeps changing and I can remind myself that perhaps in a few years I can go back to teaching and playing music full time. > > > > > > > > >Carlton Larsen, Ba, Bgp > > >Freelance Musician > > >426 Pinehouse Drive > > >Saskatoon Sk > > >S7K4X5 > > > > > >________________________________ > > > > > >To: insideoutweightloss > > >Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 1:12:29 PM > > >Subject: Hello IOWL Friends! > > > > > > > > > > > >Good afternoon to all my new friends. I decided that if you're my new friends, this will be a rewarding adventure for us! My name is . Just like a lot of you, I'm a very private person and don't have an outside network of friends or family to be my support group. I've never participated in an online group. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I feel apprehensive. > > > > > >My brain and my body are at war with each other. I'm 50 pounds overweight and have struggled with self acceptance since I was a little girl. I've binged, purged, overate, gone on commercial programs with success followed by failure, seen a therapist, had a nutritionist, taken weight loss medications, used antidepressants, and read countless books. My first memories of seeing a dietician was when I was 8. My mom took me because " I hated myself and I wanted to die because I was a fat pig. " That's what I said to myself and my mom when I was 8! As an adult, that breaks my heart. I can only imagine how my mom must have felt. As I reflect back to that time of my life, I realize I've had an unhealthy relationship with food since I was a child. Even at 8, I was a compulsive overeater. > > > > > >My intention is to forgive myself for making myself struggle physically and mentally over my weight/food issues since I was 8 years old. My internal tug-of-war has exhausted me. I'm done and will not pick up that rope again. I know the journey will be hard and I will need your encouragement. > > > > > >I recently found IOWL podcasts by pure coincidence. Why didn't someone tell me about ?!! After listening to a few podcasts, I knew immediately that understood my struggle. So I bought her book. Today is my first day and I'm going to dive in 100%. I even registered for the online class because I know I need more guidance and support. I feel overwhelmed and need to take it step by step, one day at a time. > > > > > >Today I read I need to apply the tools to every situation I encounter. I briefly thought to myself that over the next 6 weeks, I'll have to go off IOWL for my 42nd birthday, for a vacation to Las Vegas, for my 15th wedding anniversary, and the list goes on. What an eye-opener. I'm not on a program (like the commercial ones I've tried); I'm on a mission to change my life. So, yes...I'm going to give it all I've got while I live my real life. I can't put my life on hold while I have that party in my mouth (I love that statement!) for the next special occasion or stressful moment! I'm going to need your help and encouragement in order to slay the naysayer inside my head. > > > > > >If you actually read my entire post, I have to say thank you for caring enough to read my thoughts. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know you. I'm excited to have you as my new friends! > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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