New Member

[Guest guest]

Thanks! I will.

> >

> > I thought I'd say hi since I have a feeling I'll be on here a bit. I'm

> 35 I was on SSRI's (Lexapro for 6 months then later on Zoloft 100mg for

> maybe over 2 years) For Depression, OCD and Anxiety. I was off them for

> about 3 months then got back on them for about a month or two and I kind

> of weened off almost a month ago.

> >

> > I have headaches, brain zaps all the time, my neck aches and I feel

> like I've got a cold all the time. I've recently gone through a divorce

> and feel like I've lost most everything that I thought was my life.

> >

> > I had the doctor switch me to something beside Lexapro cause I notice

> sexual side effects like not able to get aroused, soft erections and or

> losing it during sex and no interest in sex. I got put on Zoloft and

> thought all was better but it just took me longer to climax and I never

> really cared much for sex it lost it's feeling.

> >

> > I'm hoping that I can get back to normal cause this is making it hard

> to be excited about the rest of my life. Now that I'm divorced and

> playing in a band I'm afraid to get to know any girls cause so far I've

> only had bad experiences so far. Let just say it was over before they

> knew what happen.

> >

> > So I'm gonna read everything on here and go back to the doctor and

> tell him what has happen to me and hope he takes me serious. If not I'm

> going to find a new doctor and try and get something to fix this. Has

> anyone tried Acupuncture?

> >

> > I'm not very happy about what these doctors and drug companies have

> done to so many people it makes me very upset and I think that we need

> to get this to the public. I hope to meet new friends and learn about

> what I can do to help me feel male again.

> >

> > Thank you

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the reply. I'm doing my best. Some day's are better then others. I'm

going to take this info in to the doctor and see if I can get some of these

tests done. I just want to feel what it's like to get aroused by visual stimuli

again.

It's not fun when the person your are with is thinking that it's there fault as

to why you not getting aroused. Or you've gone so long it's more like a workout

then anything else and you just have to stop. I've already had two encounters

and lets say I have not talked to them since. lol!

My brother just shared with me that this was the reason his girlfriend left him

many years ago. He was on AD's.

Thanks again for the reply. It's nice to have support with all of this. And from

people who really understand.

> >

> > I thought I'd say hi since I have a feeling I'll be on here a bit. I'm 35 I

was on SSRI's (Lexapro for 6 months then later on Zoloft 100mg for maybe over 2

years) For Depression, OCD and Anxiety. I was off them for about 3 months then

got back on them for about a month or two and I kind of weened off almost a

month ago.

> >

> > I have headaches, brain zaps all the time, my neck aches and I feel like

I've got a cold all the time. I've recently gone through a divorce and feel like

I've lost most everything that I thought was my life.

> >

> > I had the doctor switch me to something beside Lexapro cause I notice sexual

side effects like not able to get aroused, soft erections and or losing it

during sex and no interest in sex. I got put on Zoloft and thought all was

better but it just took me longer to climax and I never really cared much for

sex it lost it's feeling.

> >

> > I'm hoping that I can get back to normal cause this is making it hard to be

excited about the rest of my life. Now that I'm divorced and playing in a band

I'm afraid to get to know any girls cause so far I've only had bad experiences

so far. Let just say it was over before they knew what happen.

> >

> > So I'm gonna read everything on here and go back to the doctor and tell him

what has happen to me and hope he takes me serious. If not I'm going to find a

new doctor and try and get something to fix this. Has anyone tried Acupuncture?

> >

> > I'm not very happy about what these doctors and drug companies have done to

so many people it makes me very upset and I think that we need to get this to

the public. I hope to meet new friends and learn about what I can do to help me

feel male again.

> >

> > Thank you

> >

>

[Guest guest]

That is an informative video and it looks very good. I hope that all members of

this group will mention this video in at least one internet forum that is about

mental problems.

It can also be uploaded on Youtube with tags like SSRI, permanent sexual,

orgasm, side effects, depression, pills, medication and antidepressant.

>

> >

> >

> > Watch this video, and if you can, give your doctor this link too.

> >

> > http://www.sexsmartfilms.com/free-videos/libido-lost/

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

The same thing happened with my son after the sex talk, last year when he was 10

yrs old. He really got stuck on it for a while. He kept telling me that he was

picturing other people doing it, picturing himself doing it, etc. I just kept

telling him it was normal to keep thinking about something that he just learned

about, especially something like that. I told him even some grownups think

about it a lot too! I don't remember how long he obsessed over it, but it did

pass. I just always remained nonchalant about it, even tried to joke about it.

He wasn't seeing a therapist at that time, so we really just handled it on our

own. I'm so sorry that your son is so stressed about it. Hopefully you can find

someone he can talk to, that can do CBT/ERP. Best of luck.

[Guest guest]

Thanks, , for you reply! My son does the same thing (pictures himself

having sex with everyone) and then has to come confess to me each time it

happens. When I'm cooking dinner, he may come to me 15 times in an hour. His

face looks so horrified, and I know I have to be patient and not get angry. I

just tell him that it's ok, and thoughts are not reality, but I'm wondering if

I'm enabling him? Having had ocd myself, it seems cruel to not listen to his

confessions, but it's really hard to get anything done (he is home all day since

I homeschool him and his two sisters).

I think I could figure out how to help him if he had any of the obsessions I've

had, but this one is new to me. I have no idea how to " expose " him to sexual

thoughts, and I'd be scared that I'd mess him up even more! I try to joke about

it with him, and sometimes he can laugh a little, but mostly he just looks

tormented. It's odd because I've never told him that sex is bad or anything to

be ashamed of.

Thanks for sharing your experience and your kind words . . .

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thu, August 11, 2011 12:39:13 PM

Subject: Re: New member

Hi ,

The same thing happened with my son after the sex talk, last year when he was 10

yrs old. He really got stuck on it for a while. He kept telling me that he was

picturing other people doing it, picturing himself doing it, etc. I just kept

telling him it was normal to keep thinking about something that he just learned

about, especially something like that. I told him even some grownups think

about it a lot too! I don't remember how long he obsessed over it, but it did

pass. I just always remained nonchalant about it, even tried to joke about it.

He wasn't seeing a therapist at that time, so we really just handled it on our

own. I'm so sorry that your son is so stressed about it. Hopefully you can find

someone he can talk to, that can do CBT/ERP. Best of luck.

[Guest guest]

Thanks again, ! I'm going to try your suggestions today.

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thu, August 11, 2011 1:57:51 PM

Subject: Re: New member

You may try limiting the number of times he confesses to you. If he now

confesses 15 times an hour, tell him he can only confess 12 times. See how that

goes, and keep cutting back on the number of confessions per hour. That's

worked in the past with my son with other issues. Or make him wait until a

specified time. Maybe have a certain number of times a day that he's allowed to

spend a specified amount of time telling you all his troubling thoughts. In the

meantime, keep him very busy and occupied if possible, so he can try to get his

mind off of what's bothering him. Eventually, when " thought time " comes, he may

not even remembering what was so upsetting to him earlier.

I hope this helps you.

[Guest guest]

I agree with , I remember when we discussed this.

I think I too probably thought about it, pictured it, after hearing the details

of sex/babies. Even today, at over, let's just say over 50, lol, when I'm

learning something new for work, I find myself obsessing over it, thinking about

it when I go to sleep, when I wake up, during the day, all the details; or way

back when I was learning shorthand, I'd go to sleep writing words in my head,

wake up.... Happens with lots of stuff, eventually ebbs, stops. But it's like

obsessing, constant thoughts, during it.

Just keep telling him it's normal (it is!), and his mind will eventually get

bored with it, stop. And there's nothing wrong with him for picturing it,

thinking about it. Maybe there's something else he can learn about, hear about,

a project to do, get excited about, to distract him a bit.

single mom, 3 sons

, 22, with OCD, dysgraphia, Aspergers

>

>

> Hi ,

>

> The same thing happened with my son after the sex talk, last year when he was

10 yrs old. He really got stuck on it for a while. He kept telling me that he

was picturing other people doing it, picturing himself doing it, etc. I just

kept telling him it was normal to keep thinking about something that he just

learned about, especially something like that. I told him even some grownups

think about it a lot too! I don't remember how long he obsessed over it, but it

did pass. I just always remained nonchalant about it, even tried to joke about

it. He wasn't seeing a therapist at that time, so we really just handled it on

our own. I'm so sorry that your son is so stressed about it. Hopefully you can

find someone he can talk to, that can do CBT/ERP. Best of luck.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

It sounds like you've gotten strong feedback and support here. :-) My daughter

has had sexual obsessions -- unfortunately hers are about rape. :-( This started

when she was about 11 or 12. Has anyone else experienced this?

17 y/o dd with OCD, anxiety/depression, NVLD & Asperger's

[Guest guest]

I take a similar approach when my daughter has obsessions about sex (not the bad

thoughts about sexual assault I mentioned). I tell her these thoughts are

normal, -- in fact " normal " -- when it comes to the kind and frequency of

sexual thoughts one has -- is a very wide range. You just don't know that,

because people don't drop their " naughtiest " thoughts into everyday

conversation. :-) I try to keep it light, to avoid conveying the message that

this is shameful or something to worry about.

17 y/o dd with OCD, anxiety/depression, NVLD & Asperger's

>

>

> Hi ,

>

> The same thing happened with my son after the sex talk, last year when he was

10 yrs old. He really got stuck on it for a while. He kept telling me that he

was picturing other people doing it, picturing himself doing it, etc. I just

kept telling him it was normal to keep thinking about something that he just

learned about, especially something like that. I told him even some grownups

think about it a lot too! I don't remember how long he obsessed over it, but it

did pass. I just always remained nonchalant about it, even tried to joke about

it. He wasn't seeing a therapist at that time, so we really just handled it on

our own. I'm so sorry that your son is so stressed about it. Hopefully you can

find someone he can talk to, that can do CBT/ERP. Best of luck.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter has had this fear since she was little and didn't know the word

" rape " . She used to sleep with her ankles crossed because she was afraid of her

" privates " being vulnerable.

Re: New member

,

It sounds like you've gotten strong feedback and support here. :-) My daughter

has had sexual obsessions -- unfortunately hers are about rape. :-( This started

when she was about 11 or 12. Has anyone else experienced this?

17 y/o dd with OCD, anxiety/depression, NVLD & Asperger's

[Guest guest]

To limit confessions in a more methodical or cognitive way, you can discreetly

count the number of times in a day that he seeks the reassurance or note a

pattern of frequency and then begin by limiting the number of times or length

of time he confesses and gradually decrease that number. These kinds of

activities also help you learn more about your child's behavior as you try to

shape that behavior or extinguish it, so even if not totally successful, it's

worthwhile to try.

Best wishes,

Bonnie

>

> Hi Joni,

>

> I know I am my son's " safe person " so I am the only one he confesses to or

even

> speaks with about his ocd. We are working on reducing the frequency of his

> confessions. When he does come to me, I simply say, " it's ok " , and he runs

off.

> Do you think this is too much reassurance? Should I maybe just listen and

not

> say anything? I definitely agree that reassurance makes ocd stronger as well

as

> never being enough for him anyway. I appreciate your thoughts on this . . . I

> love learning from other parents who have already " been there, done that. "

>

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Fri, August 12, 2011 1:52:41 PM

> Subject: Re: New member

>

>

> Hello,

>

> My son's OCD centered primarily on sexual matters. It hit him particularly

hard

> around age 14, the time of puberty I think. Hopefully, you son's symptoms

will

> not progress to the same extent as my son's. But, it if does, keep in mind

that

> with OCD you do need to keep exposing yourself to what you fear (like what is

> does in ERP). When my son got to the point we needed to do something we

started

> working through human sexuality textbooks and watching movies that had mild

> sexual content. I certainly agree with the other parents who suggest sitting

> and thinking about the obsessive thoughts until they lose their punch, but

with

> my son, that was simply not possible - the thoughts were too strong. We did,

> however, at one time, use tape recordings of his voice talking about the

issues

> that bothered him - that also worked well. I also agree with those who have

> suggested that reassuring your son might not be a good idea. I know that I

> reassured my son too much, and I think that is one thing that made his OCD

> stronger. If I could go back, I would definitely not reassure him when he

asked

> for it.

>

>

> Hope this helps.

>

> Joni

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Bonnie! We have been working on it, and he is already doing a little

better. I am trying to make it a game by seeing how long he can go before he

feels like he just has to come to me to confess. He is really competitive so

that helps to make him want to try harder, I think. Also, I have really been

praising him when he goes for a while without confessing.

On the other hand, he has been doing other things that he says he feels like he

" has to do. " Like before we walk out of the house, he'll straighten the remotes

on the coffee table. I explained to him that these behaviors are ocd too, and

he needs to try to refrain from doing them so that he can see that everything is

going to be ok if he doesn't straighten the remotes.

I hate to think of him having to live with ocd for his whole life (as I have),

but all I can do is give him the tools to try to deal with it, I guess.

Thanks again,

________________________________

To:

Sent: Tue, August 16, 2011 10:51:31 PM

Subject: Re: New member

To limit confessions in a more methodical or cognitive way, you can discreetly

count the number of times in a day that he seeks the reassurance or note a

pattern of frequency and then begin by limiting the number of times or length

of time he confesses and gradually decrease that number. These kinds of

activities also help you learn more about your child's behavior as you try to

shape that behavior or extinguish it, so even if not totally successful, it's

worthwhile to try.

Best wishes,

Bonnie

>

> Hi Joni,

>

> I know I am my son's " safe person " so I am the only one he confesses to or

even

>

> speaks with about his ocd. We are working on reducing the frequency of his

> confessions. When he does come to me, I simply say, " it's ok " , and he runs

>off.

>

> Do you think this is too much reassurance? Should I maybe just listen and

not

>

> say anything? I definitely agree that reassurance makes ocd stronger as well

>as

>

> never being enough for him anyway. I appreciate your thoughts on this . . . I

> love learning from other parents who have already " been there, done that. "

>

> Thanks,

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Fri, August 12, 2011 1:52:41 PM

> Subject: Re: New member

>

>

> Hello,

>

> My son's OCD centered primarily on sexual matters. It hit him particularly

>hard

>

> around age 14, the time of puberty I think. Hopefully, you son's symptoms

will

>

> not progress to the same extent as my son's. But, it if does, keep in mind

>that

>

> with OCD you do need to keep exposing yourself to what you fear (like what is

> does in ERP). When my son got to the point we needed to do something we

>started

>

> working through human sexuality textbooks and watching movies that had mild

> sexual content. I certainly agree with the other parents who suggest sitting

> and thinking about the obsessive thoughts until they lose their punch, but

with

>

> my son, that was simply not possible - the thoughts were too strong. We did,

> however, at one time, use tape recordings of his voice talking about the

issues

>

> that bothered him - that also worked well. I also agree with those who have

> suggested that reassuring your son might not be a good idea. I know that I

> reassured my son too much, and I think that is one thing that made his OCD

> stronger. If I could go back, I would definitely not reassure him when he

>asked

>

> for it.

>

>

> Hope this helps.

>

> Joni

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My 12 year old has been having a hard time with these same thoughts as well

since he is beginning to go through puberty. It is really hard for him as

well, but we started reading this book called " Talking Back to OCD " , which

is written for kids and it has helped tremendously! Even step 1 did wonders

for his thoughts. It helped him figure out it was just OCD's thoughts and

not his thoughts. I highly recommend this book! I wish you the best of luck

with your son!

--Dawn

On Thu, Aug 11, 2011 at 9:13 AM, mich_johnson@... <

mich_johnson@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> Hello,

>

> I am a new member hoping to gain advice and support for my almost 9 year

> old son. I recently gave him the sex talk and now he is having unwanted

> sexual thoughts constantly. He says he is bad for thinking this way. I

> explained to him that it is natural and normal, but he is tormented by these

> thoughts/visions and keeps coming to me to confess every thought he has.

>

> I know quite a bit about ocd because I have had it since I was a kid. CBT

> helped me, but I really have no idea how to implement that in his case. I am

> also wondering if anyone knows of a good therapist in the Atlanta area?

>

> He is so stressed out and told me that he would rather die than go on

> living this way. Does anyone have experience with this particular obsession?

>

>

> Thanks so much,

>

>

>

>

--

Dawn

A Virtual Grace

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Dawn! I actually just checked this book out from the library so I'm

glad to hear that it's helpful to son!

________________________________

To:

Sent: Fri, August 19, 2011 1:22:06 PM

Subject: Re: New member

My 12 year old has been having a hard time with these same thoughts as well

since he is beginning to go through puberty. It is really hard for him as

well, but we started reading this book called " Talking Back to OCD " , which

is written for kids and it has helped tremendously! Even step 1 did wonders

for his thoughts. It helped him figure out it was just OCD's thoughts and

not his thoughts. I highly recommend this book! I wish you the best of luck

with your son!

--Dawn

On Thu, Aug 11, 2011 at 9:13 AM, mich_johnson@... <

mich_johnson@...> wrote:

> **

>

>

> Hello,

>

> I am a new member hoping to gain advice and support for my almost 9 year

> old son. I recently gave him the sex talk and now he is having unwanted

> sexual thoughts constantly. He says he is bad for thinking this way. I

> explained to him that it is natural and normal, but he is tormented by these

> thoughts/visions and keeps coming to me to confess every thought he has.

>

> I know quite a bit about ocd because I have had it since I was a kid. CBT

> helped me, but I really have no idea how to implement that in his case. I am

> also wondering if anyone knows of a good therapist in the Atlanta area?

>

> He is so stressed out and told me that he would rather die than go on

> living this way. Does anyone have experience with this particular obsession?

>

>

> Thanks so much,

>

>

>

>

--

Dawn

A Virtual Grace

[Guest guest]

Hi there,

Welcome to our group! I'm sure you will get replies with suggestions on this,

and keep asking your questions, this is a great and supportive group with

understanding to offer as well as good strategies for coping with things.

We deal with mental rituals here too, and they are harder to address with ERP, I

find. Basically the person has to see that they are doing a ritual in their

head, and be willing to work on that.

I will just suggest a couple things. Talk with her about this night time issue

during the day, and plan for what to do. Perhaps also do some exposures of this

fear during the day. I agree that doing it at night is not a place to start

with it. Maybe could simulate bedtime though.

Does she understand how OCD works, and how she wants to try not to " feed it "

with the rituals? If you can work with her cognitively too about the hair loss,

maybe the idea around what would make her hair more likely to fall out at night

than during the day (not sure if this would be helpful or not, just and idea to

challenge part of the thought at least). Although OCD is not rational, it is

attached to a rational person, so sometimes they can rationalize or normalize

some of it. My son will sometimes come to me to ask what a " normal " person

would think about something because he will forget when the OCD is bombarding

him.

If you can make a specific plan about what she will do when the thought comes

up. To remember it is " just a thought " , not the truth and that she doesn't have

to listen to it. Big thing is to catch themselves and then choose what to do.

She can press a delete button in her brain, treat it as junk mail. She can

attempt to let it just be there and not respond. She can attempt to delay her

ritual or reduce the number of times she says .

She might even be able to switch the timing of her " worry " and ritual to take it

away from bedtime. But nighttime is when they have no distractions, so it's

common that is when the OCD thoughts are bigger. But with that thought, I'm

wondering if perhaps she needs to be more actively doing ERP during the day in

general. Ask her what goes on in her head during the day, because she may be

saving it all up, or containing and then it all has to come out sometime. This

is common too.

For distraction, so she can sleep, she might try listening to music, or singing

to herself(as long as it doesn't become a ritual . The mind can't focus on

more than one thing at a time, so it will at least help " block " the OCD until

she can fall asleep perhaps.

If you already understand how ERP works, then you can come up with a creative

solution together. The big part is to allow the thought to be there, not try to

stop or suppress it, sit with the anxiety until it subsides, not do the ritual

instead. Not at all easy, but the way out. Remind her that she is suffering a

lot right now, and to do the ERP will also be hard but that it has an end goal

of stopping the OCD.

I find they are often very creative at coming up with solutions when you brain

storm with them, since it is their own brain manifesting the thoughts, the same

brain can come up with the " counter attack " .

Just some thoughts. I'm sure others will have good ideas. Hang in there, I

know how exhausting it is for the whole family when OCD interferes with sleep.

Warmly,

Barb

Canada

Son, 20, OCD, PDD-NOS(LD PLUS)

>

> Hi all,

> I am a new member and looking for advice. Our daughter is 8years old and has

OCD. We live in the UK. Our daughter started to display symptoms over a year

and a half ago when we changed schools. We took her to the GP who reffered her

to our Local Child and Adolecent health services, because this was through the

NHS we realised this was going to take along time, so paid for some sessions

privately in the mean time. After the private sessions she showed good progress

and after starting a new academic year with new teachers the OCD practically

disappeared. Eventually the NHS appointments came through and we debated what

to do, in hindsight we should have left it there, but at the time thought we

could only add to our knoweldge of how to manage Olivia's OCD. This however

brought back her fears and OCD and after a few sessions they discharged us.

However Olivia is still scarred, we can manage the day time fears and have been

doing the exposure techniques, but we have one issue that is very hard to manage

and would appreciate some advice.

>

> Olivia fears that her hair will fall out, she has to say " , ,

" before she goes to sleep, everytime the instrusive thought of her hair

falling out enters her head, this can go on for hours, and we have been up and

down the stairs alot at night, with Olivia scared and hysterical, this natrually

has a knock on effect during the days because she is lacking sleep.

Historically Olivia has been very scarred to go to sleep and we have had

terrible problems with separation anxiety at night.

>

> I am wondering what technique to use to manage her intrusvie thoughts. The

pychologist we saw strongly felt that we should not engage with her at night but

Olivia will not try exposure techniques on her own at night (understanably).

The problem is also because this is largely in her head, so difficult to check.

>

> Any ideas would be gratefully received.

>

[Guest guest]

As part of distraction, which Barb mentioned some, have you tried reading to her

at bedtime til she falls asleep (tho sometimes they outlast us parents). I used

to read to my sons, sometimes 3-4 kids books at bedtime, and generally one would

fall alseep before I was done. Just thinking if she can go to sleep a few

nights with a distraction where she isn't saying " " so much, maybe that

her hair doesn't fall out will ease her some after a few times of this.

With , I even put an extra TV in his room and would put a much-watched

movie in to try for distraction. Would pick one of those he'd seen many times

so hopefully wouldn't hold much interest to keep him awake trying to finish

watching, etc.

Quick thoughts, bedtime issues are often tougher with nothing to distract you

from OCD stuff.

>

> Hi all,

> I am a new member and looking for advice. Our daughter is 8years old and has

OCD. We live in the UK. Our daughter started to display symptoms over a year

and a half ago when we changed schools. We took her to the GP who reffered her

to our Local Child and Adolecent health services, because this was through the

NHS we realised this was going to take along time, so paid for some sessions

privately in the mean time. After the private sessions she showed good progress

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your great suggestions, this has given me lots of ideas to

think about

Take care

Vicky

> **

>

>

> As part of distraction, which Barb mentioned some, have you tried reading

> to her at bedtime til she falls asleep (tho sometimes they outlast us

> parents). I used to read to my sons, sometimes 3-4 kids books at bedtime,

> and generally one would fall alseep before I was done. Just thinking if she

> can go to sleep a few nights with a distraction where she isn't saying

> " " so much, maybe that her hair doesn't fall out will ease her some

> after a few times of this.

>

> With , I even put an extra TV in his room and would put a

> much-watched movie in to try for distraction. Would pick one of those he'd

> seen many times so hopefully wouldn't hold much interest to keep him awake

> trying to finish watching, etc.

>

> Quick thoughts, bedtime issues are often tougher with nothing to distract

> you from OCD stuff.

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Hi all,

> > I am a new member and looking for advice. Our daughter is 8years old and

> has OCD. We live in the UK. Our daughter started to display symptoms over a

> year and a half ago when we changed schools. We took her to the GP who

> reffered her to our Local Child and Adolecent health services, because this

> was through the NHS we realised this was going to take along time, so paid

> for some sessions privately in the mean time. After the private sessions

> she showed good progress

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

To help our son relax at bedtime and hopefully not have as many obtrusive

thoughts/rituals, we have used the Indigo Dreams cd series at night. They have

soothing stories with progressive relaxation and affirmation exercises woven in.

I recently purchased my 10 yr old son the teen version from Amazon.com just for

something different and he really likes it though he prefers to skip the cheesy

first intro track. My mom (who listens to similar CDs herself) has even made

personalized tracks with her own voice providing affirmations and progressive

relaxation exercise with a background of soothing music for both of my kids.

[Guest guest]

To help our son relax at bedtime and hopefully not have as many obtrusive

thoughts/rituals, we have used the Indigo Dreams cd series at night. They have

soothing stories with progressive relaxation and affirmation exercises woven in.

I recently purchased my 10 yr old son the teen version from Amazon.com just for

something different and he really likes it though he prefers to skip the cheesy

first intro track. My mom (who listens to similar CDs herself) has even made

personalized tracks with her own voice providing affirmations and progressive

relaxation exercise with a background of soothing music for both of my kids.

[Guest guest]

This looks like a great CD. We've used materials from

http://www.innerhealthstudio.com/ as well. They have free stuff you can

download.

Rhonda

Re: New member

To help our son relax at bedtime and hopefully not have as many obtrusive

thoughts/rituals, we have used the Indigo Dreams cd series at night. They have

soothing stories with progressive relaxation and affirmation exercises woven in.

I recently purchased my 10 yr old son the teen version from Amazon.com just for

something different and he really likes it though he prefers to skip the cheesy

first intro track. My mom (who listens to similar CDs herself) has even made

personalized tracks with her own voice providing affirmations and progressive

relaxation exercise with a background of soothing music for both of my kids.

[Guest guest]

This looks like a great CD. We've used materials from

http://www.innerhealthstudio.com/ as well. They have free stuff you can

download.

Rhonda

Re: New member

To help our son relax at bedtime and hopefully not have as many obtrusive

thoughts/rituals, we have used the Indigo Dreams cd series at night. They have

soothing stories with progressive relaxation and affirmation exercises woven in.

I recently purchased my 10 yr old son the teen version from Amazon.com just for

something different and he really likes it though he prefers to skip the cheesy

first intro track. My mom (who listens to similar CDs herself) has even made

personalized tracks with her own voice providing affirmations and progressive

relaxation exercise with a background of soothing music for both of my kids.

[Guest guest]

Hello. I listened to the IOWL podcasts quite frequently about 2 years ago.

Diabetes runs rampant through my family and I have watched its ravaging effects

over the years on people I love. I promised myself that I would do all I could

to avoid becoming a diabetic. I've been pretty successful at keeping my weight

where I want it, but life has been very stressful with a variety of family

situations over the last couple of years, and I have put some weight back on.

Two days ago, I decided that I must go back to what works. I have gone back to

the basics, all the way back to the Prologue and Episode 1.

Thanks for listening and for gathering this group together.

[Guest guest]

Welcome back!

>________________________________

>

>To: insideoutweightloss

>Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2012 3:33 AM

>Subject: New Member

>

>

> 

>Hello. I listened to the IOWL podcasts quite frequently about 2 years ago.

>

>Diabetes runs rampant through my family and I have watched its ravaging effects

over the years on people I love. I promised myself that I would do all I could

to avoid becoming a diabetic. I've been pretty successful at keeping my weight

where I want it, but life has been very stressful with a variety of family

situations over the last couple of years, and I have put some weight back on.

Two days ago, I decided that I must go back to what works. I have gone back to

the basics, all the way back to the Prologue and Episode 1.

>

>Thanks for listening and for gathering this group together.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Trudy! It is confusing, especially if you've had bad therapy. That can

be frustrating and upsetting. We went through that. It wasn't your fault - we

are all trying to do our best for our kids, and there are therapists out there

who aren't helping! It can be better, really. Getting a good therapist means

having a map; otherwise you are constantly second-guessing yourself and beating

yourself over the head if things aren't going well.

One approach is to let your daughter know you have found a therapist who can

really help (assuming you do!) and you understand the past therapist was not

helpful and that was disappointing and frustrating. But this one understands the

fears and anxieties and knows what to do. And therapist has told you that

answering all the questions is feeding the fears. So you will have to stop. You

want dd to get better, and you are there to support her through therapy. But she

is on her own if she wants to do it her way - by trying to get the questions

answered. It's up to her, but you can keep the choice in front of her and let

her know that there is a way out, but it's not the way she's choosing now.

I used rewards with my 17-year-old. I paid him a lot of money to get treatment.

Would you need an reward to walk on a string across a chasm full of vicious

lions and roaring flames licking at your feet? " Feeling better " doesn't mean

much at that point. Keep at it - you'll find the way!

Rhonda

New Member

Thanks so much for the replies!

I guess the first step is to find a therapist who will follow the current

treatments for OCD (CBT/ERP). I feel like we've wasted a year already. We have

made some minor progress, however my daughter has added new compulsions as well.

Does age/development play a role? The puppy question I gave was a good

example. It seems like a control issue-not an OCD issue, and she is 12 and

starting to get that teenage attitude thing!

Is it OK to do the work on our own at home with our own

manual/guidelines/rewards/ for eliminating compulsions? I'm confused about this.

Is the therapist the one who guides the work? I'd hate another mother daughter

power struggle. We are already in the midst of it at 12 years old!

Is it common for kids this age to refuse to engage in the therapy? And if so,

shouldn't my reaction be to not give in to her requests for answers? This part

is confusing to me! I know working on this will be challenging and difficult,

scary even. But so are the thoughts and compulsions! Wouldn't she want to feel

better? She absolutely refuses to talk about it or read the book.

Rewards at 12 years? I guess if it works but shouldn't feeling better over

time be the reward? I'm obviously very confused.

I will read through archived messages and try to get a better handle on how

this should work.

Thanks again!

Trudy

No virus found in this message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 2012.0.2197 / Virus Database: 2437/5154 - Release Date: 07/25/12

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Trudy! It is confusing, especially if you've had bad therapy. That can

be frustrating and upsetting. We went through that. It wasn't your fault - we

are all trying to do our best for our kids, and there are therapists out there

who aren't helping! It can be better, really. Getting a good therapist means

having a map; otherwise you are constantly second-guessing yourself and beating

yourself over the head if things aren't going well.

One approach is to let your daughter know you have found a therapist who can

really help (assuming you do!) and you understand the past therapist was not

helpful and that was disappointing and frustrating. But this one understands the

fears and anxieties and knows what to do. And therapist has told you that

answering all the questions is feeding the fears. So you will have to stop. You

want dd to get better, and you are there to support her through therapy. But she

is on her own if she wants to do it her way - by trying to get the questions

answered. It's up to her, but you can keep the choice in front of her and let

her know that there is a way out, but it's not the way she's choosing now.

I used rewards with my 17-year-old. I paid him a lot of money to get treatment.

Would you need an reward to walk on a string across a chasm full of vicious

lions and roaring flames licking at your feet? " Feeling better " doesn't mean

much at that point. Keep at it - you'll find the way!

Rhonda

New Member

Thanks so much for the replies!

I guess the first step is to find a therapist who will follow the current

treatments for OCD (CBT/ERP). I feel like we've wasted a year already. We have

made some minor progress, however my daughter has added new compulsions as well.

Does age/development play a role? The puppy question I gave was a good

example. It seems like a control issue-not an OCD issue, and she is 12 and

starting to get that teenage attitude thing!

Is it OK to do the work on our own at home with our own

manual/guidelines/rewards/ for eliminating compulsions? I'm confused about this.

Is the therapist the one who guides the work? I'd hate another mother daughter

power struggle. We are already in the midst of it at 12 years old!

Is it common for kids this age to refuse to engage in the therapy? And if so,

shouldn't my reaction be to not give in to her requests for answers? This part

is confusing to me! I know working on this will be challenging and difficult,

scary even. But so are the thoughts and compulsions! Wouldn't she want to feel

better? She absolutely refuses to talk about it or read the book.

Rewards at 12 years? I guess if it works but shouldn't feeling better over

time be the reward? I'm obviously very confused.

I will read through archived messages and try to get a better handle on how

this should work.

Thanks again!

Trudy

No virus found in this message.

Checked by AVG - www.avg.com

Version: 2012.0.2197 / Virus Database: 2437/5154 - Release Date: 07/25/12