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The people on this list seem so supportive and

helpful. Reading these posts helps me to be grateful.

Sometimes that gratitude shifts and I feel ashamed

about talking about the sensations I feel, I sound

like I'm complaining. I am ambulatory. My daily

experience is nothing like the level I read about here

(hecnce, the gratitude). I got a good scare in Feb. as

I needed to use a cane for a combination of an extreme

FMS flare-up and (new) sciatica down my right leg all

the way into my foot from my low back disk

herniations. I never want to experience that pain and

disability again. My fear is that I will.

In spite of being clear about that, I have not been

eating well (which _clearly_ contributes to my pain,

as does being overweight) and I have not been moving.

I'm currently having a problem with my foot which is

keeping my off my daily hour-long walk. I could

however, stretch and do yoga. I'm not doing that.

I have an emotional block against feeling joy, taking

in the good. Who am I if I don't have complaints or

pain? Can I speak that truth without feeling pitiful?

pathetic? I have this coping mechanism for a reason.

In my emotionally absent/neglectful family, being ill

in some way got me the only attention possible.

I always question the measure of the pain I feel. How

real, important, devastating, ... is it? And if I

could answer that accurately, definitively, what would

that do for me?

I made an appointment with my therapist. *sigh*

peace,

trustinit

__________________________________________________

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The newest thing my DH says is that I complain a lot. Even if I am

pointing out I have a zit. lol I would not feel bad about posting

anything on this site. Eveyone here has been in your shoes, and

nobody complains here.

> The people on this list seem so supportive and

> helpful. Reading these posts helps me to be grateful.

>

> Sometimes that gratitude shifts and I feel ashamed

> about talking about the sensations I feel, I sound

> like I'm complaining. I am ambulatory. My daily

> experience is nothing like the level I read about here

> (hecnce, the gratitude). I got a good scare in Feb. as

> I needed to use a cane for a combination of an extreme

> FMS flare-up and (new) sciatica down my right leg all

> the way into my foot from my low back disk

> herniations. I never want to experience that pain and

> disability again. My fear is that I will.

>

> In spite of being clear about that, I have not been

> eating well (which _clearly_ contributes to my pain,

> as does being overweight) and I have not been moving.

> I'm currently having a problem with my foot which is

> keeping my off my daily hour-long walk. I could

> however, stretch and do yoga. I'm not doing that.

>

> I have an emotional block against feeling joy, taking

> in the good. Who am I if I don't have complaints or

> pain? Can I speak that truth without feeling pitiful?

> pathetic? I have this coping mechanism for a reason.

> In my emotionally absent/neglectful family, being ill

> in some way got me the only attention possible.

>

> I always question the measure of the pain I feel. How

> real, important, devastating, ... is it? And if I

> could answer that accurately, definitively, what would

> that do for me?

>

> I made an appointment with my therapist. *sigh*

> peace,

> trustinit

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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