Movie..reviews-To,Ameet, Renuka,..and Prabha..

[Guest guest]

To,Ameet,

That was a nice review..and some good laughs...on other directors,..making TPZ..

Welcome back.

Koothe ahais tu..Aajkaal??.

U seem to be hibernating in the cold,USA weather,I guess,..while Renuka, inspite

of a snowy,windy Chicago...is up..and writing each and every reply with

gusto..and promptness...

Asa nako karoo re Ameet.

Ur filmy reviews..should be up there...along with our Kishoreda..of the best

movies..in a week's time.to help, we poor non-filmy log, to make that decision

whether..to go to see movie A.,where there is a cute Katrina..along with many

item songs....or Movie B..where there r no heroines..and no fight scenes..as

well...a just Amir and a boy...

Hope u..do..tell us,a bit early and save our precious money..

Time ka Koi Parwah nahi,..as we r duty bound ,here in the middle east.,..to

watch an Hindi movie, each weekend (Some MGIMSian out here, watch movies on the

go...each single day..after duty hours..like the other day..I happened to

ask,one..(name withheld..)..and he stated. " Bus,..kal hi ..raat ko bayt

ke.. " Welcome " ... complete kiya.(.as if..they r preparing for some filmy exam

topics..)

To,Renuka..

Prabha is very much Indian..in India,Renukaji..and so..bound to see..a couple of

movies..when gr8 ratings r mentioned out here..by Kishoreda..and other

critics...but..we would be surprised.,.if u..tell us..that u watch on a regular

basis,..being an AMERICAN Indian..

I thought,u would say..that the latest movie..BUCKET LIST...is a must watch

movie..of Jan 08..

Bye.

Shyam(84)

Re: Taare Zameen Par

Never knew you were into movies?

Renuka

Prabha Desikan wrote:

Dear Ameet,

We wound up seeing Welcome a couple of weeks ago - and we laughed ourselves

silly - maybe silly is the operative word here, but laugh we did. I couldn't

figure out why it was called Welcome, though.

Prabha'84

Ameet Chimote wrote:

Hello Friends,

Had been watching a few movies over the holiday weekends and saw Taare

Zameen Par... and I do recommend it to everyone as a " must see movie " . I

watched this horrible film called as " Welcome " , it was all about childish

jokes, and sensless scenes, but the film is largely watchable for Nana

Patekar and Anil Kapoor's terrific acting. Anyways, more about that in

another E-mail. On the Internet, I came across this blog on bollywood films

(I love blogs and I blog too... ) and there was a very funny post on there,

so, here's an exerpt just for laughs....

Ameet 1993

********************************************************************************\

***********************

If you want to know how good Taare is, just go to your nearest theater and

watch the people coming out after the show. The cacophony that surrounds a

crowd exiting a theater will be missing. Some would be walking in slow

motion. Some would look petrified. At least that's what happened in the

theater I went to. Not a single soul was talking after the movie, probably

because what everyone saw on screen was not fiction, but a semi-biography of

his/her own life. In fact, the normally rowdiest gang in a theatre (ie my

friends and I) that is uber vocal at the end of a film left the theater in

pin drop silence. The first thing we said to each other - 'Aamir Bhai has

done it again.'

Indeed, Aamir Khan had done it again. I have a gut feeling that Taare would

change people like no other movie has previously done.

I know only Aamir can make a film like Taare. But let us assume he did not

make it (dream on!). What would the film have been like?

*If Karan Johar made Taare*

- Obvious starcast:

- Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!).

- Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for

nuts).

- Rani Mukerjee as the kid's mom (assuming Kajol is

unavailable).

- Abhishek Bachchan as the kid's dad.

- Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the

role is ultra minute, he can afford it).

- It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience.

- The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the

dyslexic kid's mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher

rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies, SRK would get

someone else's girl.

- It would have one dance number.

- The film would be titled 'Kuch Taare Zameen Par.'

*If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Taare*

- Obvious starcast:

- Salman as the teacher.

- Rani as the mother.

- Of course the whole film would be shot on elaborate sets. The school

would be nothing short of Harvard university.

- An orchestra would play every time anyone cried.

- Slow motion, different camera angles for every scene.

- The school uniforms would match the classroom walls even though that

does not make a damn difference.

- The film would cost 60 crores.

*If Farah Khan made Taare*

- Obvious starcast:

- SRK as the teacher (yawn).

- In the original Taare, Aamir makes an entry at the interval point.

In Farah's version, SRK would be on screen on for 2.30 hrs out of the

2.45 hrs and would be introduced in the first scene itself.

- The story would be changed to make sure the above happened. The

focus of the film would be a teacher who helps a kid fight dyslexia.

- To make it a complete entertainer, there would be a romantic angle,

comedy, and action thrown in. Oh idea!! Nikumbh's character likes another

teacher and the kiddo helps him.. throw in some comedy moments there and you

have romance and comedy settled. For action.. hmm.. lemme see.. oh yah, the

kid gets kidnapped and the teacher fights the baddies to save him. Wow!! I'm

quite an imaginative writer. I can see how Farah can write a film from

scratch in two weeks straight.

- The film posters would have a big SRK with the tiny image of the kid

in the background.

*If Rakesh Roshan made Taare*

- Obvious starcast:

- Hrithik Roshan as the teacher.

- Since Rakesh Roshan cannot think beyond science fiction these days,

this film would have that too. Instead of dyslexia, the kid would have

alienositis or something, a condition induced due to him witnessing an alien

abduction.

- Instead of Nikumbh being an arts teacher, he would be a physics

teacher, and instead of asking kids to be creative, he would ask them to

challenge the science we know.

- In the scene where Nikumbh asks the kids to open their minds and

make whatever they want outdoors, the kid Ishaan, instead of making a boat,

would end up making a working spaceship prototype.

- Nikumbh would cure the kids problem by making a full fledged version

of the kid's prototype, traveling to the alien planet, and asking them to

give the kid his powers back.

- The film would have music by Rajesh Roshan ripped off from some

world music.

- The film's name would again start with a K.. probably 'Kuch Aliens

Taaron se Zameen Par'.

- The director would make sure Hrithik gets to show all his abilities.

This would mean a scene with Roshan jr flexing his muscles, and a dance

competition in the end, instead of an arts competition.

*If Priyadarshan made Taare:*

- Obvious starcast:

- Akshay Kumar as the teacher.

- Paresh Rawal as the kid's dad.

- It would be a brainless comedy. The kid's dyslexia would be made fun

of. Half the times the parents will be running after the kid from one room

to the other and that, in the director's opinion, would be funny.

- The film will be full of sex jokes. So for example, when Akshay

would come to the parents telling them that their son has dyslexia, the

ignorant father would say something inappropriate like *'iss umar

mein? par kaise, woh to hamesha boys school mein padha hai!'. *And* *yes,

the director would think it is funny.

- In the climax of the film all the characters in the film would run

around in the amphitheater for no reason, spilling colors on each other.

That's where the film will end, without any logical conclusion.

- And of course, Paresh Rawal would emote like an epileptic himself

making us question the boy's mental abilities anyway.