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My advice is to talk to anyone and everyone who will ask or listen

about your son! My son Mason was diagnosed at 8 months old and all

we

were told by doctors is to do traditional therapy. Talking with

other

parents in my community and those in the therapy waiting rooms I

learned of Conductive Education, hyperbaric oxygen treatments,

intensive suit therapy, hippotherapy, therapuetic riding, NTD

courses,

massages and hopefully much more info from meetings of future mom's

and

dad's to come! Mason did traditional therapy for 9 months with slow

progress and since beginning other more intense therapies he began

to

crawl and now walks with some assisstance. We still do traditional

therapies in between the more intense ones but Mason makes the most

progress after his intense therapies.

, mom to 7, and Mason 4 1/2 BPPMG.

>

> Does anyone have any advice about telling family and

> associates,coworkers,strangers on the street about my son's

condition

> he is 9 and a half months old the only thing obvious is he is

visually

> impaired and he doesn't sit up I'm not sure of what to say so most

of

> the time I say nothing and people don't ask but I'm sure they

notice

> his disabilties. My immediate family pretty much already know and

I

had

> a hard time telling them.

>

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I like and 's advice - keep it simple for the general

public (including family) but be specific with people in waiting

rooms. It never occurred to me but it seems like a great way to get

information!

I'm really really private and don't like discussions with chatty

strangers in the store, so I don't feel obligated to give the big

explanation to anyone in those cases. Sophia's 2 and sits up but

doesn't crawl or walk. When a random person in line somewhere asks how

old she is and says " I bet she's into everything " , I usually just

laugh and don't say anything. When she was younger people would ask if

she was walking yet and when I said no, they'd say " all kids do things

at their own pace. " I feel like I had that conversation 50 times, and

hated it the whole time. Hopefully after two years, I'm lightening up

a bit - but I don't think I'm getting smarter. As I was typing this I

realized Sophia and I just went through a 9 week art/music class with

kids her age when it was obvious she wasn't at the regular skill

level. I felt really alone and if I had explained to one person one

time Sophia's history, I bet I would have felt better and enjoyed the

class more. And I bet the other mothers, who noticed a problem but

were too polite to ask, would have opened up to me too. So maybe the

lesson here is, do as I say Dorothy, and not as I do! Open up to

people you see regularly and talk to, but don't waste your time on the

grocery store clerk.

As far as the technical aspects of explaining PMG, I usually say that

parts of her brain grew improperly, and those parts cause seizures.

And before their faces fall and they give you the Look, I tell them

how great she is and why. It relieves the burden of the person

listening for having to say something comforting when they probably

can't relate, and gives them (and you) something to smile about.

it polymicrogyria , " Dorothy " wrote:

>

> Does anyone have any advice about telling family and

> associates,coworkers,strangers on the street about my son's

condition

> he is 9 and a half months old the only thing obvious is he is

visually

> impaired and he doesn't sit up I'm not sure of what to say so most

of

> the time I say nothing and people don't ask but I'm sure they notice

> his disabilties. My immediate family pretty much already know and I

had

> a hard time telling them.

>

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Oh my gosh... the worst is when people say.. " OH I'm so sorry..it must be sooo

hard..but God only gives these kids to those who can handle it. " I've heard

that one a zillion times. I actually think it gets easier..this is to all

you Mom's with little ones under 2 or 3.. it gets easier when the child goes

into a wheel chair instead of the stroller.....its like...they suddenly have the

presence of being special needs....people still stare...but they dont wonder if

something is wrong with your child... because obviously.. there is.

What I do love... however, is when little children come up to me and say " hey

lady..whats wrong with your kid..or WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM with big eyes... " to

me,it is the sign of a strong character for a child who isnt afraid to question

outside of the norm. The worst...are the mothers who simply stare from a

distances and discourage their children from staring..who turn and walk the

other way...who can't be bothered by what (thankfully to them) them dont have to

face. Being a Mom of a normal active 10 year old..and a crazy 5 year

old...in a relatively upscale community...I get that ALOT. There are

compassionate people too...wonderful caring warm people... but there are those

" fast trackers " on the road to travel soccer, prep school or PTA meetings who

get more annoyed in their SUV's when my big big big van is blocking them.

I see some little children actually uncomfortable, afraid, or making fun of the

special needs kids.... and that is sad.

The people who are willing to take the time to ask what is wrong...I guess...

are usually people with a compassionate heart. Do you ever feel like you

are in a different time warp when you are sitting with your wheel chair at a

function where you are the only mother with a wheel chair....doing a G-tube

feeding...changing the diaper of an 8 year old who just did a GOD AWFUL

disgusing bowel movement that turns noses??? Or they start screaming in

pain...and because they cant talk...you have to run out in the middle of your

daughters Orchestra recital? Or they start having a huge seizure 5 minutes

before your God-sons Holy First Communion...

What is wrong with your child lady? There is nothing " wrong " with my child.

My child is right in God's eyes...and God's creation. He is who he is.... a

challenge to the " NORMAL " world.... but a gift to me... he is my child. And

he is the most beautiful child I have ever seen. Nope... no baseball

practice, no soccer, no lacrosse, no football, no basketball, not even baseball.

No chess club, drama club, band, or art school. Nope. Just a boy in a chair,

a boy without words... a boy with magical warm hazel brown eyes that stare in

silent adoration of the way a tree blows in the breeze. No college future, or

car to buy...no worries about drugs, sex, and teenage issues.... no girlfriend

trauma, or heart to heart talks. Just a boy in a chair...with a gentle

smile......and the love of a walk down a country road... How long will he love

the teletubbies and Barney? And no...we can not plan for " retirement " the

same way my friends... there is no future

other than day by day with . Because at any given moment...things

continue to change. And he will be with us forever...as he and God define

forever. So...yes...another time warp...another reality from theirs...

but it is mine. And I would not trade the lessons of love and life for any

sports club, SUV or Florida retirement community on this planet.

What's wrong with your child? Nothing. He is perfect? What's wrong with

you.

Sorry...long day.... sometimes it just pours out. God Bless.

lauranotdigangi wrote:

I like and 's advice - keep it simple for the general

public (including family) but be specific with people in waiting

rooms. It never occurred to me but it seems like a great way to get

information!

I'm really really private and don't like discussions with chatty

strangers in the store, so I don't feel obligated to give the big

explanation to anyone in those cases. Sophia's 2 and sits up but

doesn't crawl or walk. When a random person in line somewhere asks how

old she is and says " I bet she's into everything " , I usually just

laugh and don't say anything. When she was younger people would ask if

she was walking yet and when I said no, they'd say " all kids do things

at their own pace. " I feel like I had that conversation 50 times, and

hated it the whole time. Hopefully after two years, I'm lightening up

a bit - but I don't think I'm getting smarter. As I was typing this I

realized Sophia and I just went through a 9 week art/music class with

kids her age when it was obvious she wasn't at the regular skill

level. I felt really alone and if I had explained to one person one

time Sophia's history, I bet I would have felt better and enjoyed the

class more. And I bet the other mothers, who noticed a problem but

were too polite to ask, would have opened up to me too. So maybe the

lesson here is, do as I say Dorothy, and not as I do! Open up to

people you see regularly and talk to, but don't waste your time on the

grocery store clerk.

As far as the technical aspects of explaining PMG, I usually say that

parts of her brain grew improperly, and those parts cause seizures.

And before their faces fall and they give you the Look, I tell them

how great she is and why. It relieves the burden of the person

listening for having to say something comforting when they probably

can't relate, and gives them (and you) something to smile about.

it polymicrogyria , " Dorothy " wrote:

>

> Does anyone have any advice about telling family and

> associates,coworkers,strangers on the street about my son's

condition

> he is 9 and a half months old the only thing obvious is he is

visually

> impaired and he doesn't sit up I'm not sure of what to say so most

of

> the time I say nothing and people don't ask but I'm sure they notice

> his disabilties. My immediate family pretty much already know and I

had

> a hard time telling them.

>

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God bless you , you and your family and all our Angels on earth I

felt so strange reading your post, I cried but I wasn't sad I can't

explain it, as you told when you look those big eyes of your Angel you

see the power of love coming outside, as days go by I see my little

Angel a becomes sweet, affectionate more then before, each day.

She is my little silent Angel.

kisses from Italy

Ennio & a

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