The Sweetest teacher in the whole world

[Guest guest]

The Sweetest teacher in the whole world

There could be some controversy about where the sun rises. Some might say

that it does not rise exactly in the east, but differs from season to season

by a few degrees. However, when it came to deciding who was the sweetest

teacher in our whole college if not the whole world, there were no two

opinions. Madhavi Madam of the Gynaecology department was the hand down

winner.

Madhavi Madam was so sweet that it was rumoured that some patients under her

care needed to take extra insulin. She was always tolerant and well

mannered. Even the stupidest student felt most comfortable when he came to

know that Madhavi Madam would take his viva.

She had the sweetest two children in the whole world, and a kind loving

husband. Her son, Chintu and daughter Mona, were bright young kids, and did

their homework without any hassles, as is usual for children of working

parents. Her husband, Shriram, was a mild mannered professor in dermatology.

He lead a comparatively easier life than his wife because Dermatology had no

emergencies, operations or serious patients. Gynaecology, on the other hand,

is a treasure trove of the worst sort of do or die situations. Thus he left

home leisurely at 10 am, long after his wife had rushed for the 8 am

operation and returned well in time for lunch, while Madam had to skip lunch

frequently over an obstructed labour.

But, there is always a serpent hidden in the Garden of Eden. That proverbial

fly in the ointment was Shantabai. The strongest of statues have feet of

clay, and so it was with Madhavi Madam. She was cursed with one of the

stupidest servants in the history of mankind. We came to know of this from

the various telephone conversations that Madam had with her servant.

Those were the days of landlines only. Mobile phones were unheard. After

finishing her morning operation list, Madam would rush down to the telephone

and ring her house up. (All the conversations were in Marathi, but have been

translated to English here for convenience.)

" But I told you to keep the curds in the fridge. Now they will get all

sour! "

" And for God's sake heat the daal before serving it to the children,

otherwise, like last time you will serve them cold daal. "

Then Madam would turn towards us and give a wry, helpless smile. " That

Shantabai! She is the limit! She can't get even one thing right! I have to

leave early for the Operation list, so I can't supervise everything. Just

yesterday, I told her to lay all the wet clothes on the drying line. Guess

what? She did just that, but without removing the underlying dry clothes!

Can you believe that? "

All of us were just students then, so none of us knew the nitty-gritty of

household management. But we could definitely sympathise with Madam.

Shantabai seemed to be a clone of 'Supandi', that famous nitwit servant from

Uncle Pai's Tinkle comics. Oh well! Into every life, some rain must fall!

However, we admired Madam's restraint. Even when she was fuming at

Shantabai, she only chided her gently. Anyone else would have screamed

herself hoarse.

Days passed by. Shantabai continued exasperating Madhavi Madam in various

ways. Once she really tested the limits of Madam's patience. In those days,

Madam was engrossed in collecting data of over 500 patients to compile in a

complicated study. This was a very painstaking job and required great effort

and time. With a little help from us, Madam had nearly completed the whole

project. She took the file home for minor corrections. After a couple of

days, when she wanted to get back the file, she just couldn't locate it.

Madam was very disturbed and wasn't in the mood the whole day. That day her

conversation with Shantabai was truly memorable. We just heard Madam's side

of the conversation on the phone. It went like this:

" You what? "

" Sold it in 'Raddi' (Waste paper)?!! "

Splutter. Splutter.

" I know I told you to sell all the waste paper, but this was not waste

paper! "

" I told you to sell only the newspapers! "

" I know the last time I had told you to also sell the old exercise books,

but couldn't you have used your head? These were papers in a file! "

For the first time ever, we saw Madam bang the phone down. She just clasped

her head in both her hands. Then she realized that all of us were staring at

her. She gave a wry smile and said, " That Shantabai is the limit! Oh well!

I'll

have to compile the data again. "

We were amazed by her stoic acceptance of fate. Our admiration for Madhavi,

the sweetest Madam in the college, increased manifold.

As fate would have it, a few days later, I needed Madam's signature on a few

papers. As her house was on my way, I decided to drop in and take her sign.

Just as I was about to knock on her door, the door opened and Dr. Shriram,

Madam's husband, came out. I wished him and enquired about Madam. He led me

inside and seated me in the living room and told me that he had to hurry for

some important deal he had to complete, but Madam would shortly join me. In

his usual soft voice he announced, " Kishore has come for your signatures. "

Then he left the house.

It was probably the softness of his voice or else Madam was too engrossed in

her work, but she did not hear her husband. Meanwhile, I waited outside,

leafing through a magazine. After some time, Madam's voice floated out, " And

at least today don't mess up that deal you are going to sign. As it is you

can't even heat daal or feed children properly. Because of you, I'll have to

do that research all over again. To save your name I have to blame that poor

Shantabai all the time! "

I was in a pretty sticky situation. I took an instant decision. I quietly

eased myself out and gently closed the door behind me. Then I turned and

banged the door loudly. After some time Madam opened the door, I wished her

and told her that I wanted her signatures. "

She looked around puzzled, " I thought my husband was around. Sorry for

opening the door a little late. Please sit down. " She was her usual sweet

self.

The next day was pretty much as usual in the wards. I had kept the secret to

myself. After the daily round was over, Madam phoned up her house.

" Make sure that you cover the milk vessel after you make the tea. Last time

a cockroach had fallen in it! "

Madam turned towards us and said, " This Shantabai needs instructions for

everything! "

My co-registrar naively asked Madam, " Then Madam, why don't you remove her

and keep somebody else for the job? "

Madam gave a sigh and said, " Aarey baba, where can you get honest people

nowadays? At least Shatabai is honest. "

I added, " And Madam, she loves the children as if they were her own! "

Madam was startled and looked up at me, but I assumed my most innocent look.

Kishore Shah 1974