Re: vacation and ocd

[Guest guest]

Oh, sorry that happened! Well at least the relatives got to " see " how

anxiety/panic can be, plus OCD. How was she overall with her OCD, comparing

home to there (besides the bedroom change)??

Some children actually do better on vacation with OCD. May be the busy

distraction or being away from triggers, etc. If they're holding back around

others, that can only last so long. And then arriving home, back to the " safe

place, " it'll all burst forth and/or OCD starts right back up. And then some

children don't get that " break " and OCD is being triggered, still there, while

on vacation.

I guess it's just a matter of " experience " - which you now have - with your

child in various situations, environments. Staying with relatives is

different than, say, a hotel. Or being around others may distract some

children, while upsetting OCD in others.

I think you'll hear experiences of both sides, some do better away and others

don't.

Just some thoughts,

So is it best to travel alone when it comes to OCD. Does vacation tend to cause

more stress for children w/OCD due to so many uncontrollable things in their

environment?? Since returning we have had to double her Zoloft.

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, sorry that happened! Well at least the relatives got to " see " how

anxiety/panic can be, plus OCD. How was she overall with her OCD, comparing

home to there (besides the bedroom change)??

Some children actually do better on vacation with OCD. May be the busy

distraction or being away from triggers, etc. If they're holding back around

others, that can only last so long. And then arriving home, back to the " safe

place, " it'll all burst forth and/or OCD starts right back up. And then some

children don't get that " break " and OCD is being triggered, still there, while

on vacation.

I guess it's just a matter of " experience " - which you now have - with your

child in various situations, environments. Staying with relatives is

different than, say, a hotel. Or being around others may distract some

children, while upsetting OCD in others.

I think you'll hear experiences of both sides, some do better away and others

don't.

Just some thoughts,

So is it best to travel alone when it comes to OCD. Does vacation tend to cause

more stress for children w/OCD due to so many uncontrollable things in their

environment?? Since returning we have had to double her Zoloft.

>

[Guest guest]

We are going on vacation next week and I am holding my breath waiting to see how

it goes....I am so nervous that OCD will ruin the vacation yet we need this

vacation ...just praying it goes well.

I am so sorry that happened. Usually my daughter is better around other people

than when she is just with us

Subject: vacation and ocd

To:

Date: Tuesday, July 12, 2011, 8:02 PM

 

We just returned from vacation. We decided to vacation and stay w/relatives this

year. Our 10 year old dd had severe anxiety and a panic attack on vacation. We

had to switch her bedroom due to an unexpected relative deciding to come at the

last minute which made her go into a rage with panic attack. Unfortunately my

husband had not told his relatives she had OCD. Needless to say they found out

the hard way once a panic attack was full blown and I was in tears as well. So

is it best to travel alone when it comes to OCD. Does vacation tend to cause

more stress for children w/OCD due to so many uncontrollable things in their

environment?? Since returning we have had to double her Zoloft.

[Guest guest]

We also just returned from a camping trip with extended family, and my dd6 who

has germ contamination issues became extremely distressed on the trip because

she worried the dirt/sand that got in her eye was going to be stuck in her eye.

Her experience in the dirty shower was also distressing. She had also been

really on edge because she had been waiting to play with the adult relatives

whom she loves to spend time with but they were busy setting up their tents and

socializing among themselves. Needless to say I broke down and was in tears and

ended up telling one of the relatives about her OCD. I wasn't ready to tell

anyone in the extended family but I just couldn't keep it in. I'm sure they were

all thinking what is this girl's problem. It broke my heart to know that she

will be misunderstood unless I tell people about her OCD.

We are going on another vacation to visit and stay with friends in August. I am

really anxious about this - not sure how this will play out. I tried to plan the

trip where we'd spend time with them and then take a side trip for a couple days

without them. My husband says I worry too much, but I am starting to think that

vacations by ourselves is going to be the way we have to do things, which is

unfortunate since both my kids love to be around other people. This is new for

us so we're still trying to figure out what's going to work and what we have to

compromise on.

Judy

>

> We just returned from vacation. We decided to vacation and stay w/relatives

this year. Our 10 year old dd had severe anxiety and a panic attack on

vacation. We had to switch her bedroom due to an unexpected relative deciding

to come at the last minute which made her go into a rage with panic attack.

Unfortunately my husband had not told his relatives she had OCD. Needless to

say they found out the hard way once a panic attack was full blown and I was in

tears as well. So is it best to travel alone when it comes to OCD. Does

vacation tend to cause more stress for children w/OCD due to so many

uncontrollable things in their environment?? Since returning we have had to

double her Zoloft.

>

[Guest guest]

Judy,

I can totally relate. We find it hard to strike a balance between " should we

tell people or keep things private. " I know our relatives were also thinking

" what the heck is wrong w/this child who surely is not acting age appropriate

and totally out of control. " It is definitely not the way you envision telling

relatives or friends when you are in the midst of a major meltdown that can go

on for hours and be unrelenting. This is a new diagnosis for us also and I also

didn't know if we should just vacation alone in the future. This can be so

isolating at times. I think I am to the point where I personally don't care

what people or relatives think because if you haven't walked in our shoes you

really don't know what it is like. Best of luck to you...hope things go okay for

you.

Michele

> >

> > We just returned from vacation. We decided to vacation and stay w/relatives

this year. Our 10 year old dd had severe anxiety and a panic attack on

vacation. We had to switch her bedroom due to an unexpected relative deciding

to come at the last minute which made her go into a rage with panic attack.

Unfortunately my husband had not told his relatives she had OCD. Needless to

say they found out the hard way once a panic attack was full blown and I was in

tears as well. So is it best to travel alone when it comes to OCD. Does

vacation tend to cause more stress for children w/OCD due to so many

uncontrollable things in their environment?? Since returning we have had to

double her Zoloft.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Michele -

Thanks for your reply. " Isolating " really hit the nail on the head. During the

camping trip I felt so isolated since I was the only one having to deal with my

daughter's distress. My husband is able to compartmentalize his emotions so he

didn't seem too disturbed by it. My mother-in-law was the only other family

member who knew about my daughter's OCD and she had been keeping her distant in

terms of helping out. I was so resentful of this. So I guess since there was no

one else to vent to, I ended up telling one of the aunts - my mother-in-law's

sister. I had suspected that my mother-in-law has OCD and in talking with her

sister, it seemed pretty apparent that she has OCD. My mother-in-law has not

said anything about herself having OCD, so I guess that is why she cannot be of

much help. I don't even know if she knows she has it or has ever been treated

for it or she could be in denial or just hiding it. It would have been nice to

know that OCD runs in the family. This could have explained a lot of the issues

we've had with my daughter over the last 3-4 years when I was pulling my hair

out and seeking parental counseling help to figure out how to deal with my

daughter. Sorry just venting again...I know it's extremely difficult to let

others know you have OCD.

Judy

>

> Judy,

> I can totally relate. We find it hard to strike a balance between " should we

tell people or keep things private. " I know our relatives were also thinking

" what the heck is wrong w/this child who surely is not acting age appropriate

and totally out of control. " It is definitely not the way you envision telling

relatives or friends when you are in the midst of a major meltdown that can go

on for hours and be unrelenting. This is a new diagnosis for us also and I also

didn't know if we should just vacation alone in the future. This can be so

isolating at times.

[Guest guest]

I'm here in India spending my summer vacation with my aging parents

(one with terminal cancer ) along with my kids....one of them - 8.5

yr old with OCD. I was extremely anxious and nervous about coming

here. Skipping this trip was not an option for me.

My son used to have mild OCD ( germ contamination, lots of doubts

about whether his actions are right, just right OCD, hoards time ).

Most of his OCD has gone (still doubts if he finished peeing

completely or needs to go again ) but hoarding time/ boredom is a HUGE

problem. In addition he does have a very nasty temper and anger

outbursts - it's hard for me to tell if this is a side effect of OCD

or just his personality. He can spew out very rude, mean comments and

will not care who he is talking to.

India is an extremely crowded, dirty place. The weather is really

really hot , temp touching above 100 sometimes ! The only source of

entertainment for kids are theaters, small arcades, malls, beaches if

it is not too hot. Physical activity is out of question - no parks,

swim pools avoidable because I worry about the water quality, no

public tennis courts etc.

Before the trip I sat my son down , explained to him why we were doing

this trip and also told him to expect it to be very boring and hot. I

also explained to him that I will do my best to to keep him

entertained but there would be times when even I would be at a loss. I

warned him that people would look a him funny and not like him when he

did not show control over his anger out bursts. We came up with some

solutions based on the book " the explosive child " . We laid down some

rules just for this trip. Lastly I told him that if he didn't

cooperate he would lose the only person he could depend on - me - as

even I would run out of patience and energy.

It's been about 6 weeks in India now and we have about 3 more weeks to

go. My son surprisingly has been extremely well behaved and

understanding. If we see a problem coming up we pre-emptively try to

resolve it. Of course he does have his anger outbursts occasionally

and fights with his sister a lot but nothing compared to his

unbearable OCD behavior! I do work very hard to manage his problem but

I'm finding that this India trip itself seems like a long, natural ERP

exercise for him...he knows that lots of things here are the way it is

and it is I his best interest to make it work for him. Of course I'm

very aware that he may be showing a lot of self control and that he

may break down once we go back to the US. But I think an 8 year old

controlling for so long is not easy , so I feel optimistic.

To make my long story short I think what helped me is being proactive

about situations/scenarios that may arise and discussing possible

solutions. Tools to control his temper /anger. And ultimately letting

him know it would be a dead-end situation if all fails and if we don't

try hard to cope. Awareness for parent and child, I found was very

important. To my benefit my child is mature for his age and extremely

articulate and with mild OCD, so it is easy to have such conversations

with him. I understand that this may not work for everyone but finding

a good time to talk to your child and having a conversation

proactively is worth a try!

Sorry if I'm rambling but sincerely hope this helps ...

AR - San , CA.

[Guest guest]

I think everyone we know knows about my dd.  We are very open, about this and

most other things.  She is very open and chatty and feels better having people

know.  Even if she goes to a friend's house, she wants me to tell their parents

she has OCD and anxiety.  It helps her feel better. 

 

As for dealing with dd, she wants reassurance - almost always from me, so it is

me that deals with most of it - whether at home or on vacation.  She only asks

for reassurance from other people she knows and trusts very well.

 

As for vacation, I have found it isn't the vacation that matters.  It is how

she is doing in general.  If she has been going through a tough time, I know it

will continue on vacation.  If she has been going through an easy time, the

vacation will be easy, too.  The most difficult part of vacation is keeping her

schedule regular and getting enough sleep.  I KNOW, no matter where we are, if

she doesnt get enough sleep, it will be HARD.

Sharon

To:

Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2011 2:18 PM

Subject: Re: vacation and ocd

 

Hey Michele -

Thanks for your reply. " Isolating " really hit the nail on the head. During the

camping trip I felt so isolated since I was the only one having to deal with my

daughter's distress. My husband is able to compartmentalize his emotions so he

didn't seem too disturbed by it. My mother-in-law was the only other family

member who knew about my daughter's OCD and she had been keeping her distant in

terms of helping out. I was so resentful of this. So I guess since there was no

one else to vent to, I ended up telling one of the aunts - my mother-in-law's

sister. I had suspected that my mother-in-law has OCD and in talking with her

sister, it seemed pretty apparent that she has OCD. My mother-in-law has not

said anything about herself having OCD, so I guess that is why she cannot be of

much help. I don't even know if she knows she has it or has ever been treated

for it or she could be in denial or just hiding it. It would have been nice to

know that OCD runs in

the family. This could have explained a lot of the issues we've had with my

daughter over the last 3-4 years when I was pulling my hair out and seeking

parental counseling help to figure out how to deal with my daughter. Sorry just

venting again...I know it's extremely difficult to let others know you have OCD.

Judy

>

> Judy,

> I can totally relate. We find it hard to strike a balance between " should we

tell people or keep things private. " I know our relatives were also thinking

" what the heck is wrong w/this child who surely is not acting age appropriate

and totally out of control. " It is definitely not the way you envision telling

relatives or friends when you are in the midst of a major meltdown that can go

on for hours and be unrelenting. This is a new diagnosis for us also and I also

didn't know if we should just vacation alone in the future. This can be so

isolating at times.

[Guest guest]

Mine tends to be, too.  She will hold it in and try to control herself, then it

all pours out when we get a chance to be alone.

Sharon

To:

Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 8:19 PM

Subject: Re: vacation and ocd

 

We are going on vacation next week and I am holding my breath waiting to see how

it goes....I am so nervous that OCD will ruin the vacation yet we need this

vacation ...just praying it goes well.

I am so sorry that happened. Usually my daughter is better around other people

than when she is just with us

Subject: vacation and ocd

To:

Date: Tuesday, July 12, 2011, 8:02 PM

 

We just returned from vacation. We decided to vacation and stay w/relatives this

year. Our 10 year old dd had severe anxiety and a panic attack on vacation. We

had to switch her bedroom due to an unexpected relative deciding to come at the

last minute which made her go into a rage with panic attack. Unfortunately my

husband had not told his relatives she had OCD. Needless to say they found out

the hard way once a panic attack was full blown and I was in tears as well. So

is it best to travel alone when it comes to OCD. Does vacation tend to cause

more stress for children w/OCD due to so many uncontrollable things in their

environment?? Since returning we have had to double her Zoloft.

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad to hear son is doing well in India, Anu. I know being abroad without

the conveniences we have in the States can throw anyone for a loop. Sorry to

hear about your parent who is terminally ill. I've lost both my parents so I

know what your going through.

You mentioned that most of your son's OCD is gone -how did he get to this point?

How long has your son been in therapy? My dd6 started therapy 3 -4 weeks ago,

but it is slow going. She spends a lot of time drawing her answers when the

therapists asks her questions. He's been super patient. He said we're going to

try to step things up a bit and limit her drawing time and dilly dallying going

forward.

As for trying to prepare my daughter ahead of time and setting expectations, it

can backfire on me. She'll then obsess about what I've told her and sometimes

worry more. Don't know if others have had this problem. Maybe it just depends on

the severity. The therapist said my daughter has a moderate case and that

therapy could take 6-9 months.

Judy

>

> I'm here in India spending my summer vacation with my aging parents

> (one with terminal cancer ) along with my kids....one of them - 8.5

> yr old with OCD. I was extremely anxious and nervous about coming

> here. Skipping this trip was not an option for me.

>

> My son used to have mild OCD ( germ contamination, lots of doubts

> about whether his actions are right, just right OCD, hoards time ).

> Most of his OCD has gone (still doubts if he finished peeing

> completely or needs to go again ) but hoarding time/ boredom is a HUGE

> problem. In addition he does have a very nasty temper and anger

> outbursts - it's hard for me to tell if this is a side effect of OCD

> or just his personality. He can spew out very rude, mean comments and

> will not care who he is talking to.

>

> India is an extremely crowded, dirty place. The weather is really

> really hot , temp touching above 100 sometimes ! The only source of

> entertainment for kids are theaters, small arcades, malls, beaches if

> it is not too hot. Physical activity is out of question - no parks,

> swim pools avoidable because I worry about the water quality, no

> public tennis courts etc.

>

> Before the trip I sat my son down , explained to him why we were doing

> this trip and also told him to expect it to be very boring and hot. I

> also explained to him that I will do my best to to keep him

> entertained but there would be times when even I would be at a loss. I

> warned him that people would look a him funny and not like him when he

> did not show control over his anger out bursts. We came up with some

> solutions based on the book " the explosive child " . We laid down some

> rules just for this trip. Lastly I told him that if he didn't

> cooperate he would lose the only person he could depend on - me - as

> even I would run out of patience and energy.

>

> It's been about 6 weeks in India now and we have about 3 more weeks to

> go. My son surprisingly has been extremely well behaved and

> understanding. If we see a problem coming up we pre-emptively try to

> resolve it. Of course he does have his anger outbursts occasionally

> and fights with his sister a lot but nothing compared to his

> unbearable OCD behavior! I do work very hard to manage his problem but

> I'm finding that this India trip itself seems like a long, natural ERP

> exercise for him...he knows that lots of things here are the way it is

> and it is I his best interest to make it work for him. Of course I'm

> very aware that he may be showing a lot of self control and that he

> may break down once we go back to the US. But I think an 8 year old

> controlling for so long is not easy , so I feel optimistic.

>

> To make my long story short I think what helped me is being proactive

> about situations/scenarios that may arise and discussing possible

> solutions. Tools to control his temper /anger. And ultimately letting

> him know it would be a dead-end situation if all fails and if we don't

> try hard to cope. Awareness for parent and child, I found was very

> important. To my benefit my child is mature for his age and extremely

> articulate and with mild OCD, so it is easy to have such conversations

> with him. I understand that this may not work for everyone but finding

> a good time to talk to your child and having a conversation

> proactively is worth a try!

>

> Sorry if I'm rambling but sincerely hope this helps ...

>

> AR - San , CA.

>

[Guest guest]

yes- same thing with me. She spent 2 nights at her friends and was great

there--but boy did we pay for it when she got home-it all spilled out

Subject: vacation and ocd

To:

Date: Tuesday, July 12, 2011, 8:02 PM

 

We just returned from vacation. We decided to vacation and stay w/relatives this

year. Our 10 year old dd had severe anxiety and a panic attack on vacation. We

had to switch her bedroom due to an unexpected relative deciding to come at the

last minute which made her go into a rage with panic attack. Unfortunately my

husband had not told his relatives she had OCD. Needless to say they found out

the hard way once a panic attack was full blown and I was in tears as well. So

is it best to travel alone when it comes to OCD. Does vacation tend to cause

more stress for children w/OCD due to so many uncontrollable things in their

environment?? Since returning we have had to double her Zoloft.

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry you and your daughter went through this. My daughter also experiences

heightened anxiety when traveling, especially when seeing relatives. After she

had the panic attack and rage in front of your husband's relatives, were they

supportive?

Steph (in Virginia)

17 y/o dd with OCD, anxiety/depression, Asperger's & NVLD

>

> We just returned from vacation. We decided to vacation and stay w/relatives

this year. Our 10 year old dd had severe anxiety and a panic attack on

vacation.

[Guest guest]

We are dealing with that after her sleepover bday party this past weekend.  No

sleep and having to keep it together is difficult and she is falling apart

now.  But, she says the sleepover party was worth it! 

Sharon

To:

Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2011 12:44 PM

Subject: Re: vacation and ocd

 

yes- same thing with me. She spent 2 nights at her friends and was great

there--but boy did we pay for it when she got home-it all spilled out

Subject: vacation and ocd

To:

Date: Tuesday, July 12, 2011, 8:02 PM

 

We just returned from vacation. We decided to vacation and stay w/relatives this

year. Our 10 year old dd had severe anxiety and a panic attack on vacation. We

had to switch her bedroom due to an unexpected relative deciding to come at the

last minute which made her go into a rage with panic attack. Unfortunately my

husband had not told his relatives she had OCD. Needless to say they found out

the hard way once a panic attack was full blown and I was in tears as well. So

is it best to travel alone when it comes to OCD. Does vacation tend to cause

more stress for children w/OCD due to so many uncontrollable things in their

environment?? Since returning we have had to double her Zoloft.

[Guest guest]

I often find it best to prepare my 11 yo dd, but only a few days in advance. If

you wait to the last minute, she may refuse. If you tell her too soon, her

anticipatory anxiety spikes. When she had a bunch of teeth extracted (under

general anesthesia) for orthodontic reasons, she knew in advance that it would

happen " sometime within the year. " I asked her how far in advance she wanted to

know the actual date. She said a day or two, so I told her two days in

advance. We still had a major problem when she walked in and saw the IV as she

has a major phobia of needles. Both she and the oral surgeon were insisting

that it couldn't be done, so I finally told her she would have to go to school

and explain to her classmates that she was not brave enough to go through with

it. That's what did the trick! I also think the oral surgeon should have kept

the IV out of sight until the laughing gas was given--and then we would not have

had such a problem. I had already made it clear to them that she was a very

anxious child.

(mom w/OCD, 11 yo dd w/OCD, 8 yo dd w/Tourette's and/or OCD?)

Re: vacation and ocd

I'm so glad to hear son is doing well in India, Anu. I know being abroad without

the conveniences we have in the States can throw anyone for a loop. Sorry to

hear about your parent who is terminally ill. I've lost both my parents so I

know what your going through.

You mentioned that most of your son's OCD is gone -how did he get to this point?

How long has your son been in therapy? My dd6 started therapy 3 -4 weeks ago,

but it is slow going. She spends a lot of time drawing her answers when the

therapists asks her questions. He's been super patient. He said we're going to

try to step things up a bit and limit her drawing time and dilly dallying going

forward.

As for trying to prepare my daughter ahead of time and setting expectations, it

can backfire on me. She'll then obsess about what I've told her and sometimes

worry more. Don't know if others have had this problem. Maybe it just depends on

the severity. The therapist said my daughter has a moderate case and that

therapy could take 6-9 months.

Judy

>

> I'm here in India spending my summer vacation with my aging parents

> (one with terminal cancer ) along with my kids....one of them - 8.5

> yr old with OCD. I was extremely anxious and nervous about coming

> here. Skipping this trip was not an option for me.

>

> My son used to have mild OCD ( germ contamination, lots of doubts

> about whether his actions are right, just right OCD, hoards time ).

> Most of his OCD has gone (still doubts if he finished peeing

> completely or needs to go again ) but hoarding time/ boredom is a HUGE

> problem. In addition he does have a very nasty temper and anger

> outbursts - it's hard for me to tell if this is a side effect of OCD

> or just his personality. He can spew out very rude, mean comments and

> will not care who he is talking to.

>

> India is an extremely crowded, dirty place. The weather is really

> really hot , temp touching above 100 sometimes ! The only source of

> entertainment for kids are theaters, small arcades, malls, beaches if

> it is not too hot. Physical activity is out of question - no parks,

> swim pools avoidable because I worry about the water quality, no

> public tennis courts etc.

>

> Before the trip I sat my son down , explained to him why we were doing

> this trip and also told him to expect it to be very boring and hot. I

> also explained to him that I will do my best to to keep him

> entertained but there would be times when even I would be at a loss. I

> warned him that people would look a him funny and not like him when he

> did not show control over his anger out bursts. We came up with some

> solutions based on the book " the explosive child " . We laid down some

> rules just for this trip. Lastly I told him that if he didn't

> cooperate he would lose the only person he could depend on - me - as

> even I would run out of patience and energy.

>

> It's been about 6 weeks in India now and we have about 3 more weeks to

> go. My son surprisingly has been extremely well behaved and

> understanding. If we see a problem coming up we pre-emptively try to

> resolve it. Of course he does have his anger outbursts occasionally

> and fights with his sister a lot but nothing compared to his

> unbearable OCD behavior! I do work very hard to manage his problem but

> I'm finding that this India trip itself seems like a long, natural ERP

> exercise for him...he knows that lots of things here are the way it is

> and it is I his best interest to make it work for him. Of course I'm

> very aware that he may be showing a lot of self control and that he

> may break down once we go back to the US. But I think an 8 year old

> controlling for so long is not easy , so I feel optimistic.

>

> To make my long story short I think what helped me is being proactive

> about situations/scenarios that may arise and discussing possible

> solutions. Tools to control his temper /anger. And ultimately letting

> him know it would be a dead-end situation if all fails and if we don't

> try hard to cope. Awareness for parent and child, I found was very

> important. To my benefit my child is mature for his age and extremely

> articulate and with mild OCD, so it is easy to have such conversations

> with him. I understand that this may not work for everyone but finding

> a good time to talk to your child and having a conversation

> proactively is worth a try!

>

> Sorry if I'm rambling but sincerely hope this helps ...

>

> AR - San , CA.

>