Re: Is it better to let people know your child has OCD

[Guest guest]

I really don't know what's " better " to do about publicizing OCD. Before telling

people you may want to consider why you want to tell, what you expect to get out

of telling, and who you want to tell. Your child also may want to have a say in

who is told.

In my case, I told a couple of family members and a couple of teachers. My

family members don't understand, despite explanations. To sum it up, they don't

" get it " and never will, so I don't get OCD support from them. They may say

" sorry " if I mention something, but more often I get comments about how I'm just

not forcing my child to do enough, or other inane, arrogant comments that show a

complete lack of understanding of OCD. Sometimes, they actually are trying to be

" helpful " when they make such comments. It is very isolating, which is why I was

glad to find this site.

As for school, I have only told teachers who needed to know because something

was impacting my child's schoolwork. Telling teachers helped me work with them &

my child better with regard to school work. With teachers, I did get what I

expected. I told them of a problem and we worked to help my child improve. We

haven't publicized my child's condition beyond those listed above, because it

hasn't been necessary and my child doesn't want us to.

If you have a very supportive family or friends in your life, as opposed to

people who think they know what you should & shouldn't do, you may fare much

better than I did revealing the OCD. Good luck to you.

Dot

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

I really don't know what's " better " to do about publicizing OCD. Before telling

people you may want to consider why you want to tell, what you expect to get out

of telling, and who you want to tell. Your child also may want to have a say in

who is told.

In my case, I told a couple of family members and a couple of teachers. My

family members don't understand, despite explanations. To sum it up, they don't

" get it " and never will, so I don't get OCD support from them. They may say

" sorry " if I mention something, but more often I get comments about how I'm just

not forcing my child to do enough, or other inane, arrogant comments that show a

complete lack of understanding of OCD. Sometimes, they actually are trying to be

" helpful " when they make such comments. It is very isolating, which is why I was

glad to find this site.

As for school, I have only told teachers who needed to know because something

was impacting my child's schoolwork. Telling teachers helped me work with them &

my child better with regard to school work. With teachers, I did get what I

expected. I told them of a problem and we worked to help my child improve. We

haven't publicized my child's condition beyond those listed above, because it

hasn't been necessary and my child doesn't want us to.

If you have a very supportive family or friends in your life, as opposed to

people who think they know what you should & shouldn't do, you may fare much

better than I did revealing the OCD. Good luck to you.

Dot

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

I only told the family members closest to my son. My ds was 13 at the time, so

I never discussed his ocd with them in front of him. He did bring it up to my

mother and my sister on his own, but they visit a lot and he is very close to

them. I didn't tell his school, his attendence and schoolwork were not affected

by the ocd, so I didn't see any reason too. My telling others was on a " need to

know basis " . The people we did tell have been very supportive, but I think ocd

can be really hard for people to understand.

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

I only told the family members closest to my son. My ds was 13 at the time, so

I never discussed his ocd with them in front of him. He did bring it up to my

mother and my sister on his own, but they visit a lot and he is very close to

them. I didn't tell his school, his attendence and schoolwork were not affected

by the ocd, so I didn't see any reason too. My telling others was on a " need to

know basis " . The people we did tell have been very supportive, but I think ocd

can be really hard for people to understand.

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

There has been a previous discussion on this topic. I'm not able to

cut and paste the link because of slow Internet connection but will do

as soon as I can.

In general I do think it is a good idea to let people know. The logic

is if your child has an allergy, asthma etc you would let people know,

right. So why must this be different? By not letting people know I

feel we help people think that it is a stigma...and most important we

may unknowingly make our child feel like isolated. By letting people

know, we can actually educate them about the disorder.

Having said this my 8 year old does feel embarassed in letting people

know. In fact sometimes the thought of being embarrassed actually

helps him fight his OCD. We always encourage him to talk about his OCD

if he needs to. We try to respect his opinion but will till people if

it is a necessity and we have explained this to him. So our very close

friends and family do know. I'm in India right now and my family here

knows. It's a huge releif for me. People don't look at me like I'm a

hopeless parent with a bratty child because they know there is an

underlying issue. Luckily my friends and family have been

accommodating and have always offered good feedback.

To put it shortly right know we let people know as and when we feel

necessary. We also try to encourage our son to talk about it if he

feels the need.

AR - San

>

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> I only told the family members closest to my son. My ds was 13 at the

time, so I never discussed his ocd with them in front of him. He did bring it

up to my mother and my sister on his own, but they visit a lot and he is very

close to them. I didn't tell his school, his attendence and schoolwork were not

affected by the ocd, so I didn't see any reason too. My telling others was on a

" need to know basis " . The people we did tell have been very supportive, but I

think ocd can be really hard for people to understand.

>

>

>>

>> Hi Everyone -

>>

>> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>>

>> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>>

>> Thanks much,

>> Judy

>>

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[Guest guest]

Hi Judy,

There has been a previous discussion on this topic. I'm not able to

cut and paste the link because of slow Internet connection but will do

as soon as I can.

In general I do think it is a good idea to let people know. The logic

is if your child has an allergy, asthma etc you would let people know,

right. So why must this be different? By not letting people know I

feel we help people think that it is a stigma...and most important we

may unknowingly make our child feel like isolated. By letting people

know, we can actually educate them about the disorder.

Having said this my 8 year old does feel embarassed in letting people

know. In fact sometimes the thought of being embarrassed actually

helps him fight his OCD. We always encourage him to talk about his OCD

if he needs to. We try to respect his opinion but will till people if

it is a necessity and we have explained this to him. So our very close

friends and family do know. I'm in India right now and my family here

knows. It's a huge releif for me. People don't look at me like I'm a

hopeless parent with a bratty child because they know there is an

underlying issue. Luckily my friends and family have been

accommodating and have always offered good feedback.

To put it shortly right know we let people know as and when we feel

necessary. We also try to encourage our son to talk about it if he

feels the need.

AR - San

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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>

>

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>

> I only told the family members closest to my son. My ds was 13 at the

time, so I never discussed his ocd with them in front of him. He did bring it

up to my mother and my sister on his own, but they visit a lot and he is very

close to them. I didn't tell his school, his attendence and schoolwork were not

affected by the ocd, so I didn't see any reason too. My telling others was on a

" need to know basis " . The people we did tell have been very supportive, but I

think ocd can be really hard for people to understand.

>

>

>>

>> Hi Everyone -

>>

>> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>>

>> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>>

>> Thanks much,

>> Judy

>>

>

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[Guest guest]

we only tell people that we feel need to know. my daughter is 9 and I think it

is tricky. she has told only her very close friends

From: s q

Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 4:42 PM

To:

Subject: Re: Is it better to let people know your child has

OCD

I only told the family members closest to my son. My ds was 13 at the time, so I

never discussed his ocd with them in front of him. He did bring it up to my

mother and my sister on his own, but they visit a lot and he is very close to

them. I didn't tell his school, his attendence and schoolwork were not affected

by the ocd, so I didn't see any reason too. My telling others was on a " need to

know basis " . The people we did tell have been very supportive, but I think ocd

can be really hard for people to understand.

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

we only tell people that we feel need to know. my daughter is 9 and I think it

is tricky. she has told only her very close friends

From: s q

Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 4:42 PM

To:

Subject: Re: Is it better to let people know your child has

OCD

I only told the family members closest to my son. My ds was 13 at the time, so I

never discussed his ocd with them in front of him. He did bring it up to my

mother and my sister on his own, but they visit a lot and he is very close to

them. I didn't tell his school, his attendence and schoolwork were not affected

by the ocd, so I didn't see any reason too. My telling others was on a " need to

know basis " . The people we did tell have been very supportive, but I think ocd

can be really hard for people to understand.

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

My dd who is 16 has germ fear/social anxiety ocd. I think her friends have

figured things out even though no one has officially told them. DD asks them if

they washed their hands after they use our RR. They know no one is allowed in

'her' RR at the house (she has a 1/2 bath she claims for her own). There's a lot

more on TV also, programs on hoarders and other people with OCD. This must help

people understand a little more. My immediate/close family knows. I also have a

nephew who was diagnosed bipolar (he's in his early 20s now) so the family has

been through all of that already. No one at school knows, because it doesn't

impact her there. My dd ocd is not as extreme as others, so it doesn't 'show'

too much.

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son, who is now almost 18 and is doing well with regards to his OCD, has

never been particularly open about having OCD. At this point, he says it's

because he doesn't want to deal with the ignorance of others. OCD is so hard to

understand and he doesn't want to spend his time trying to explain it,

especially to others who aren't willing to listen. He says he has no shame

about his OCD; he just doesn't want to waste his time and energy.

I also haven't told many about my son's OCD. His OCD centers mainly around

sexual matters and I have often felt that by being open about it would cause my

son more problems than help. Many times, I have wished that I didn't feel this

way; that we could all be open and honest with those around us. But, for us, it

was better to deal with it on our own.

Hope this helps.

Joni

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son, who is now almost 18 and is doing well with regards to his OCD, has

never been particularly open about having OCD. At this point, he says it's

because he doesn't want to deal with the ignorance of others. OCD is so hard to

understand and he doesn't want to spend his time trying to explain it,

especially to others who aren't willing to listen. He says he has no shame

about his OCD; he just doesn't want to waste his time and energy.

I also haven't told many about my son's OCD. His OCD centers mainly around

sexual matters and I have often felt that by being open about it would cause my

son more problems than help. Many times, I have wished that I didn't feel this

way; that we could all be open and honest with those around us. But, for us, it

was better to deal with it on our own.

Hope this helps.

Joni

[Guest guest]

What an excellent question!

I started to share my 13 yr old's OCD with close family & friends - as others

have posted...most people just don't get it. That is really frustrating - their

responses make that clear...and then I think why did I tell them....However -

OCD is like any other MEDICAL condition nothing more. I wish there was a larger

PR campaign to educate the general public.....It would make a huge difference.

I hope that you have more intuitive family & friends - ones that respond

appropriately -

(When I speak with my son's therapist - its such a relief to talk to someone

that totally gets it!) Ohter than this group - its the only time!

Best of luck

[Guest guest]

What an excellent question!

I started to share my 13 yr old's OCD with close family & friends - as others

have posted...most people just don't get it. That is really frustrating - their

responses make that clear...and then I think why did I tell them....However -

OCD is like any other MEDICAL condition nothing more. I wish there was a larger

PR campaign to educate the general public.....It would make a huge difference.

I hope that you have more intuitive family & friends - ones that respond

appropriately -

(When I speak with my son's therapist - its such a relief to talk to someone

that totally gets it!) Ohter than this group - its the only time!

Best of luck

[Guest guest]

You son's view sounds perfectly reasonable. I also don't want to waste time

explaining OCD to people, especially to those who don't need to know, and who

won't or can't understand it. It's exhausting and a waste of time & energy, as

your son says. After dealing with my child's OCD, I have no energy left to

devote to educating those around us.

Dot

>

>

> Hello,

>

> My son, who is now almost 18 and is doing well with regards to his OCD, has

never been particularly open about having OCD. At this point, he says it's

because he doesn't want to deal with the ignorance of others. OCD is so hard to

understand and he doesn't want to spend his time trying to explain it,

especially to others who aren't willing to listen. He says he has no shame

about his OCD; he just doesn't want to waste his time and energy.

>

> I also haven't told many about my son's OCD. His OCD centers mainly around

sexual matters and I have often felt that by being open about it would cause my

son more problems than help. Many times, I have wished that I didn't feel this

way; that we could all be open and honest with those around us. But, for us, it

was better to deal with it on our own.

>

> Hope this helps.

>

> Joni

>

[Guest guest]

doesn't tell anyone about it, that I know of. His are thoughts now, but

when he had the more obvious physical compulsions when younger, he didn't want

anyone to know. We told the teachers, school, of course, since we needed a 504

Plan for him.

His brothers sometimes told a close friend of their's. For others who asked

about , he'd just say something like " that's just . "

I tell people. Like at work, if talking about kids and I am talking about

concerns with (after college topic lately), I'll say he has Aspergers

and OCD. I told a guy on the phone I was talking to who has huge anxiety issues

and was talking about them that I had a son with OCD (he said he has OCD too but

anxiety is his huge issue). Generally anyone I tell isn't someone who will meet

him. And if a coworker was to, they won't bring it up. If we were to be out

around friends, socially, I wouldn't bring it up unless there was something

obvious going on, then I probably would say " he has OCD " and leave it at that

unless they asked more. Always willing to educate people!

But peers in middle school and younger - even high school is " iffy " - I wouldn't

be advertising it to. Friendships just don't last, kids can get mean, etc.

single mom, 3 sons

, 22, with OCD, dysgraphia, Aspergers

finishing up his LAST class at Chapel Hill this month

and will have a BS degree in Biology!

[Guest guest]

Thanks to everyone who responded to my question. Some of you brought up things I

hadn't considered. My initial thoughts about being more open about my daughter's

OCD was more along the lines of helping my daughter not feel ashamed of having

OCD and getting more support. It sounds like I may have been a little naive

about that. I do respect my daughter's right to privacy and since she is still

only 6, I'll probably wait until she is old enough to make the decision about

who she wants to tell.

If Anu or anyone else can find the previous posts on this topic and send me the

link to the discussion, I'd really appreciate it. I tried to do a search, but

didn't come up with what Anu was referring to.

Thanks again everyone!

Judy

>

> doesn't tell anyone about it, that I know of. His are thoughts now,

but when he had the more obvious physical compulsions when younger, he didn't

want anyone to know. We told the teachers, school, of course, since we needed a

504 Plan for him.

>

> His brothers sometimes told a close friend of their's. For others who asked

about , he'd just say something like " that's just . "

=

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy, I found an earlier post/thread on this. It began with message #94255

dated May 18, subject " open to speak to friends " . Hope this helps,

>

> If Anu or anyone else can find the previous posts on this topic and send me

the link to the discussion, I'd really appreciate it. I tried to do a search,

but didn't come up with what Anu was referring to.

>

> Thanks again everyone!

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

In telling people, my dd10 has found out a couple of her friends (or my friends'

kids) have anxiety (my dd has ocd and anxiety).  It has been a relief to her to

know other kids have this and it is not just her.  She has a workbook she is

using in therapy.  She has found out most of those kids are also using the same

workbook.  It has helper her feel more normal and accepted.  I always tell her

new teacher at the beginning of the year.  It doesnt effect her much at school

(did some at the end of the last year and did A LOT in kindergarten - we

actually held her back a year because of it), but I want them to be aware IF it

does.

Sharon

To: " " < >

Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:30 PM

Subject: Re: Is it better to let people know your child has

OCD

Hi Judy,

There has been a previous discussion on this topic. I'm not able to

cut and paste the link because of slow Internet connection but will do

as soon as I can.

In general I do think it is a good idea to let people know. The logic

is if your child has an allergy, asthma etc you would let people know,

right. So why must this be different? By not letting people know I

feel we help people think that it is a stigma...and most important we

may unknowingly make our child feel like isolated. By letting people

know, we can actually educate them about the disorder.

Having said this my 8 year old does feel embarassed in letting people

know. In fact sometimes the thought of being embarrassed actually

helps him fight his OCD. We always encourage him to talk about his OCD

if he needs to. We try to respect his opinion but will till people if

it is a necessity and we have explained this to him. So our very close

friends and family do know. I'm in India right now and my family here

knows. It's a huge releif for me. People don't look at me like I'm a

hopeless parent with a bratty child because they know there is an

underlying issue. Luckily my friends and family have been

accommodating and have always offered good feedback.

To put it shortly right know we let people know as and when we feel

necessary. We also try to encourage our son to talk about it if he

feels the need.

AR - San

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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>

>      I only told the family members closest to my son.  My ds was 13 at the

time, so I never discussed his ocd with them in front of him.  He did bring it

up to my mother and my sister on his own, but they visit a lot and he is very

close to them.  I didn't tell his school, his attendence and schoolwork were not

affected by the ocd, so I didn't see any reason too.  My telling others was on a

" need to know basis " .  The people we did tell have been very supportive, but I

think ocd can be really hard for people to understand.

>

>

>>

>> Hi Everyone -

>>

>> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>>

>> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>>

>> Thanks much,

>> Judy

>>

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Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D. (

http://www.massgeneral.org/doctors/doctor.aspx?ID=18068 ). You may ask a

question of any of these mental health professionals by inserting the words " Ask

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NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugporta\

l .  IOCDF recommended reading list may be accessed at

http://www.ocfoundation.org/Books.aspx .  IOCDF glossary of terms may be

accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.org/glossary.aspx .  IOCDF membership link

may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.net/membership/ . Drugs.com pill

identification wizard may be accessed at http://www.drugs.com/imprints.php . 

Mayo Clinic Drug and Herb Index may be accessed at

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DrugHerbIndex .Yahoo! Groups

Links

[Guest guest]

In telling people, my dd10 has found out a couple of her friends (or my friends'

kids) have anxiety (my dd has ocd and anxiety).  It has been a relief to her to

know other kids have this and it is not just her.  She has a workbook she is

using in therapy.  She has found out most of those kids are also using the same

workbook.  It has helper her feel more normal and accepted.  I always tell her

new teacher at the beginning of the year.  It doesnt effect her much at school

(did some at the end of the last year and did A LOT in kindergarten - we

actually held her back a year because of it), but I want them to be aware IF it

does.

Sharon

To: " " < >

Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:30 PM

Subject: Re: Is it better to let people know your child has

OCD

Hi Judy,

There has been a previous discussion on this topic. I'm not able to

cut and paste the link because of slow Internet connection but will do

as soon as I can.

In general I do think it is a good idea to let people know. The logic

is if your child has an allergy, asthma etc you would let people know,

right. So why must this be different? By not letting people know I

feel we help people think that it is a stigma...and most important we

may unknowingly make our child feel like isolated. By letting people

know, we can actually educate them about the disorder.

Having said this my 8 year old does feel embarassed in letting people

know. In fact sometimes the thought of being embarrassed actually

helps him fight his OCD. We always encourage him to talk about his OCD

if he needs to. We try to respect his opinion but will till people if

it is a necessity and we have explained this to him. So our very close

friends and family do know. I'm in India right now and my family here

knows. It's a huge releif for me. People don't look at me like I'm a

hopeless parent with a bratty child because they know there is an

underlying issue. Luckily my friends and family have been

accommodating and have always offered good feedback.

To put it shortly right know we let people know as and when we feel

necessary. We also try to encourage our son to talk about it if he

feels the need.

AR - San

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>

>      I only told the family members closest to my son.  My ds was 13 at the

time, so I never discussed his ocd with them in front of him.  He did bring it

up to my mother and my sister on his own, but they visit a lot and he is very

close to them.  I didn't tell his school, his attendence and schoolwork were not

affected by the ocd, so I didn't see any reason too.  My telling others was on a

" need to know basis " .  The people we did tell have been very supportive, but I

think ocd can be really hard for people to understand.

>

>

>>

>> Hi Everyone -

>>

>> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>>

>> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>>

>> Thanks much,

>> Judy

>>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>   

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

------------------------------------

Our list archives feature may be accessed at: 

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group// by scrolling down to the

archives calendar .  Our links may be accessed at

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//links .  Our files may be

accessed at

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group//files .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ), Tamar

Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D. (

http://www.massgeneral.org/doctors/doctor.aspx?ID=18068 ). You may ask a

question of any of these mental health professionals by inserting the words " Ask

Dr.(insert name) " in the subject line of a post to the list.  Our list

moderators are Castle, BJ, Barb Nesrallah, and Stormy.  You may contact

the moderators at -owner .  OCDKidsLoop

membership may be accessed at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdkidsloop/

..  Our group and related groups are listed at

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links .  IOCDF treatment

providers list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php .

NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugporta\

l .  IOCDF recommended reading list may be accessed at

http://www.ocfoundation.org/Books.aspx .  IOCDF glossary of terms may be

accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.org/glossary.aspx .  IOCDF membership link

may be accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.net/membership/ . Drugs.com pill

identification wizard may be accessed at http://www.drugs.com/imprints.php . 

Mayo Clinic Drug and Herb Index may be accessed at

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DrugHerbIndex .Yahoo! Groups

Links

[Guest guest]

My own family has been pretty good and know to be careful about what they say

around my dd (she obsesses and worries about anything she hears).  BUT my ILs

are no help, no support, dont understand, are not careful about what they say

and often make things worse.

Sharon

To:

Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 3:35 PM

Subject: Re: Is it better to let people know your child has

OCD

 

I really don't know what's " better " to do about publicizing OCD. Before telling

people you may want to consider why you want to tell, what you expect to get out

of telling, and who you want to tell. Your child also may want to have a say in

who is told.

In my case, I told a couple of family members and a couple of teachers. My

family members don't understand, despite explanations. To sum it up, they don't

" get it " and never will, so I don't get OCD support from them. They may say

" sorry " if I mention something, but more often I get comments about how I'm just

not forcing my child to do enough, or other inane, arrogant comments that show a

complete lack of understanding of OCD. Sometimes, they actually are trying to be

" helpful " when they make such comments. It is very isolating, which is why I was

glad to find this site.

As for school, I have only told teachers who needed to know because something

was impacting my child's schoolwork. Telling teachers helped me work with them &

my child better with regard to school work. With teachers, I did get what I

expected. I told them of a problem and we worked to help my child improve. We

haven't publicized my child's condition beyond those listed above, because it

hasn't been necessary and my child doesn't want us to.

If you have a very supportive family or friends in your life, as opposed to

people who think they know what you should & shouldn't do, you may fare much

better than I did revealing the OCD. Good luck to you.

Dot

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

My own family has been pretty good and know to be careful about what they say

around my dd (she obsesses and worries about anything she hears).  BUT my ILs

are no help, no support, dont understand, are not careful about what they say

and often make things worse.

Sharon

To:

Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 3:35 PM

Subject: Re: Is it better to let people know your child has

OCD

 

I really don't know what's " better " to do about publicizing OCD. Before telling

people you may want to consider why you want to tell, what you expect to get out

of telling, and who you want to tell. Your child also may want to have a say in

who is told.

In my case, I told a couple of family members and a couple of teachers. My

family members don't understand, despite explanations. To sum it up, they don't

" get it " and never will, so I don't get OCD support from them. They may say

" sorry " if I mention something, but more often I get comments about how I'm just

not forcing my child to do enough, or other inane, arrogant comments that show a

complete lack of understanding of OCD. Sometimes, they actually are trying to be

" helpful " when they make such comments. It is very isolating, which is why I was

glad to find this site.

As for school, I have only told teachers who needed to know because something

was impacting my child's schoolwork. Telling teachers helped me work with them &

my child better with regard to school work. With teachers, I did get what I

expected. I told them of a problem and we worked to help my child improve. We

haven't publicized my child's condition beyond those listed above, because it

hasn't been necessary and my child doesn't want us to.

If you have a very supportive family or friends in your life, as opposed to

people who think they know what you should & shouldn't do, you may fare much

better than I did revealing the OCD. Good luck to you.

Dot

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>

[Guest guest]

I think you tell people on an as needed basis and you take into consideration

whether or not they will understand the implications. Also, you consider

whether or not it will benefit your child for others to know. For the most

part, I think it prudent to wait just a bit to tell - then you will know who

you're dealing with and what they can understand.

Bonnie

>

> Hi Everyone -

>

> I wanted to hear from other parents in the group whether it has helped to be

open and let others know your child has OCD or better to keep it private. A post

from Sharon yesterday who said everyone knows her about her daughter's OCD got

me thinking about this. My dd6 was diagnosed a month ago and so far we've only

told a handful of immediate family members and a few close friends. I didn't

want my daughter to be stigmatized and I'm not sure if my dd6 and ds9's school

friends will be understanding about it or whether that will open my dd6 to be

teased and bullied. Children can be really mean. I'd be curious to hear what

others here have experienced and please include how old your child is as I

believe age is a huge factor.

>

> We just went on a trip with extended family and because nobody new about my

daughter's OCD, it was really stressful and isolating for me to deal with when

she was having OCD moments during the trip. If I'm feeling isolated I wonder if

my dd6 feels that way too.

>

> Thanks much,

> Judy

>