Re: what to do about school?

[Guest guest]

My middle school son initially worked with a therapist that only had apts during

school hours, it was a terrible plan. He missed way too much school. We then

found a much better therapist, that had after school appointments. That made a

big difference in our life.

However a " good " therapist can make all the differnce,so I can see why you would

want to seek their services. I would definately meet with the teachers and

review her class placement. There might be a better fit for her in another

grouping. If she is constantly stressed - OCD will hold on tight... It might be

better to be in a less stressful academic enviroment and enjoy some success -

rather then feeling inadequate and stressed. (Ofcourse you still want her to be

challenged)

Is it possible to find a therapist that can meet after school? That would be so

helpful - It would make everyone's life easier.

Good luck!

>

> My 12 year old dd has been suffering from OCD for a few years but it has

gotten worse, and I did not realize it was OCD until just a few months ago when

she started the hand-washing ritual. So I am just now seeking help. After

talking to some people and reading about it, I am realizing that stress can

cause the OCD to flare up. So here is my dilemma:

>

> Considering taking my dd to a therapist approximately an hour away because I

have heard they are really good. This means taking my dd out of school for

appts. She is very bright and she is in upper level classes because she tests

well. However, she struggles in her classes to keep a B average. Being grouped

in this class, she is surrounded by high-achievers...straight-A students and

often feels that she is not up to their standard. She wants to be, but it is

more difficult for her. Here is my dilemma...if I take her out of class for

therapy a lot, it is going to make it even more difficult for her to keep up. I

thought about talking to her teachers and seeing if we could move her to another

class or something, but if we do that, it will make her feel bad too---like she

isn't good enough. She has big issues in the self-esteem department as hard as

I try to build her up.

>

> Does anyone have any advice or had to make these kinds of changes? I would

love to home-school her, but again, she really enjoys the social aspect of

school and I have to work full-time.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm guessing that at first the appointments wouldn't be more frequent than once

a week. If you can get an afternoon appointment (or early a.m.) then she'd just

miss a little of class once a week. The therapist may even make it every other

week to begin with. As she progresses, then less frequent.

So hopefully it would be very little class time that she would miss.

When my son was going into 8th grade, the setup for him sounds like your dd's.

Luckily for us we moved him down a level before school began, with my son's

agreement, and I think it was a better fit for him, less pressure.

Now, his OCD began in 6th grade and due to the difficulties OCD caused with

school, we did set up a 504 Plan for him to use and it really helped him/us. He

still had the Plan in 8th grade but I could tell when we went to the open house

before school began that it was a fast-paced class, plus luckily he wasn't quite

happy about " who all " was in his class, so was willing for us to try to change

his teachers/level. If we hadn't been able to change him, we would just have

met with them about the 504 Plan he had and tweaked it during the year according

to his needs. He was smart enough to learn what they learned, but it was the

pace, amount of work, the organization...just little things that I thought would

be more pressure/stress on him. If he'd been looking forward to the class, I

would have let him stay in it, but since he expressed some doubt too, we pursued

bringing him down a level in classes.

Good luck, keep us updated!

>

> My 12 year old dd has been suffering from OCD for a few years but it has

gotten worse, and I did not realize it was OCD until just a few months ago when

she started the hand-washing ritual. So I am just now seeking help. After

talking to some people and reading about it, I am realizing that stress can

cause the OCD to flare up. So here is my dilemma:

>

>

[Guest guest]

You can try to make the appts later in the afternoon and see how it goes with

her classes. Maybe after a couple of appts, you will have a better idea as to

how it will affect her school work.

My ds was 13 with his ocd(contamination/hand washing). Luckily, his therapist

had after school appts. Ds had appts once a week, for about 14 weeks.

You might have ERP homework from the therapist, too. That can take up time each

day. My son had to touch a contaminated item, and we had to wait it out, while

he couldn't wash his hands. Doing that each night, cut into his homework time.

He managed to do very well in school, but the ocd did force us to reevaluate his

future classes. Now, he only takes advanced courses in the subjects he really

loves, that has reduced the stress on him.

Good luck to you.

Sue

[Guest guest]

You can try to make the appts later in the afternoon and see how it goes with

her classes. Maybe after a couple of appts, you will have a better idea as to

how it will affect her school work.

My ds was 13 with his ocd(contamination/hand washing). Luckily, his therapist

had after school appts. Ds had appts once a week, for about 14 weeks.

You might have ERP homework from the therapist, too. That can take up time each

day. My son had to touch a contaminated item, and we had to wait it out, while

he couldn't wash his hands. Doing that each night, cut into his homework time.

He managed to do very well in school, but the ocd did force us to reevaluate his

future classes. Now, he only takes advanced courses in the subjects he really

loves, that has reduced the stress on him.

Good luck to you.

Sue

[Guest guest]

Thank you all so much for your advice. It is all very good advice. I talked to

a person at the Duke Anxiety Clinic where I was considering taking her. They

were very kind and very informative. At their advice, I am going to try a local

therapist first. My dd has her first therapy session next Monday (after

school). Duke told me that the therapist needs to do CBT/ERP, and that if she

does it right then my dd should start feeling better by the end of the second

session. She told me that if she doesn't, then I should consider seeking

counseling somewhere else. Since that particular office is an hour away though,

she said they would work with me and try to make the sessions longer so we would

not have to go as often. So if I don't think things are going well with the

local therapist, I will be taking her to Duke.

I am not sure what a 504 plan is, but I will do some research to find

out. In the meantime, I purchased my dd an academic planner which is like a

day-timer so she can write down her assignments. The schools used to provide

these and she got used to having one, and it helps her remember all that she

needs to do. She also decided to drop one of her after school activities that

required a lot of extra time that she could have used toward her studies. She

realizes that the stress is what is triggering her bad thoughts and is trying to

find ways to alleviate it herself. Thankfully, she wants to get help and I

think that will go a long way to her treatment being successful.

>

> My 12 year old dd has been suffering from OCD for a few years but it has

gotten worse, and I did not realize it was OCD until just a few months ago when

she started the hand-washing ritual. So I am just now seeking help. After

talking to some people and reading about it, I am realizing that stress can

cause the OCD to flare up. So here is my dilemma:

>

> Considering taking my dd to a therapist approximately an hour away because I

have heard they are really good. This means taking my dd out of school for

appts. She is very bright and she is in upper level classes because she tests

well. However, she struggles in her classes to keep a B average. Being grouped

in this class, she is surrounded by high-achievers...straight-A students and

often feels that she is not up to their standard. She wants to be, but it is

more difficult for her. Here is my dilemma...if I take her out of class for

therapy a lot, it is going to make it even more difficult for her to keep up. I

thought about talking to her teachers and seeing if we could move her to another

class or something, but if we do that, it will make her feel bad too---like she

isn't good enough. She has big issues in the self-esteem department as hard as

I try to build her up.

>

> Does anyone have any advice or had to make these kinds of changes? I would

love to home-school her, but again, she really enjoys the social aspect of

school and I have to work full-time.

>

[Guest guest]

Glad Duke was helpful. Hope the therapist you found is too, do keep us updated

about that. Is Dr. Wagner in Cary too far, or perhaps appointments too hard to

get, she's one of the best?!

504 Plan - are you familiar with IEPs? A 504 Plan is very similar. Where an

IEP is for special education services, a 504 Plan is a plan that doesn't have

spec ed services but does set up, for those with a disability, accommodations

and/or modifications for school/work that are needed. had been getting

speech therapy and had an IEP but just did graduate from speech when his OCD

began, thus his IEP ended; but we were able to get a 504 Plan set up. If he had

still been receiving speech therapy and still had the IEP, we could have just

added what he needed (accommodations/modifications) to his IEP. Although some

schools will set up an IEP due to OCD, our's preferred doing the 504 Plan since

he didn't need any services falling under special education. So long as you are

getting waht your child needs, either one will work (IEP or 504).

Glad she was willing to give up her activity and hope it helps her feel less

pressured; but hate she had to if she enjoyed it. Sounds like she still has

other activities to enjoy though. Sometimes our kids commit to too much, or it

can become too much after OCD starts. I know where they " hold back " the OCD

while at school or elsewhere, it can just burst forth when through the door at

home, like they're letting a days worth out, and that can interfere with the

rest of the evening and homework, etc. SIGH!

>

> Thank you all so much for your advice. It is all very good advice. I talked

to a person at the Duke Anxiety Clinic where I was considering taking her. They

were very kind and very informative. At their advice, I am going to try a local

therapist first. My dd has her first therapy session next Monday (after

school). Duke told me

>

> I am not sure what a 504 plan is, but I will do some research to find

out. In the meantime, I purchased my dd an academic planner which is like a

day-timer so she can write down her assignments. The schools used to provide

these and she got used to

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I had an extremely difficult time finding therapists trained treating OCD

that were near where we live. I have driven my dd an hour away to a therapist

since last October and our psychiatrist is also an hour away. That has been

stressful but we've been lucky and this place offered evening hours but the

psychiatrist did not so she has had to miss school which makes it a little

difficult. I am meeting a new therapist I found which is half an hour away so am

hopeful about that. I think the OCD needs first priority anyway if you've found

someone good or it could interfere with her school life and other daily

activities eventually as it has ours. Best of luck.

> >

> > My 12 year old dd has been suffering from OCD for a few years but it has

gotten worse, and I did not realize it was OCD until just a few months ago when

she started the hand-washing ritual. So I am just now seeking help. After

talking to some people and reading about it, I am realizing that stress can

cause the OCD to flare up. So here is my dilemma:

> >

> > Considering taking my dd to a therapist approximately an hour away because I

have heard they are really good. This means taking my dd out of school for

appts. She is very bright and she is in upper level classes because she tests

well. However, she struggles in her classes to keep a B average. Being grouped

in this class, she is surrounded by high-achievers...straight-A students and

often feels that she is not up to their standard. She wants to be, but it is

more difficult for her. Here is my dilemma...if I take her out of class for

therapy a lot, it is going to make it even more difficult for her to keep up. I

thought about talking to her teachers and seeing if we could move her to another

class or something, but if we do that, it will make her feel bad too---like she

isn't good enough. She has big issues in the self-esteem department as hard as

I try to build her up.

> >

> > Does anyone have any advice or had to make these kinds of changes? I would

love to home-school her, but again, she really enjoys the social aspect of

school and I have to work full-time.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Dr. Wagner is the same distance, but I was told that she does not accept

insurance at all. I am going to try this therapist in my hometown first, but if

that does not work out then I will try either Dr. Wagner or Duke.

> >

> > Thank you all so much for your advice. It is all very good advice. I

talked to a person at the Duke Anxiety Clinic where I was considering taking

her. They were very kind and very informative. At their advice, I am going to

try a local therapist first. My dd has her first therapy session next Monday

(after school). Duke told me

> >

> > I am not sure what a 504 plan is, but I will do some research to find

out. In the meantime, I purchased my dd an academic planner which is like a

day-timer so she can write down her assignments. The schools used to provide

these and she got used to

> >

>