Re: New to OCD and Looking for Advice

[Guest guest]

Agree also with previous posts. My son had extreme anxiety, expressed as

separation anxiety, starting in second grade. He had seen his gfather in the

hospital, who nearly died from a heart attack. He then was terrified of

separating from me, thinking I was going to die too. It is good you are looking

for help b/c I did not know how debilitating the anxiety was. I guess the OCD

part was the constant intrusive thought that we would die. Same scenerio with

the crying,screaming, and desperation as I would peel him off me and hand him

off to his teacher. If I knew what I know now, I would have put him on medicine

to try to get the anxiety down so he could actually learn something at school.

Lots of time lost as he struggled in his day. I also would have pushed for a 504

plan , even though his teacher was great, to address eating, arrival, etc. We

did the therapy but so difficult with the high anxiety. He was also sensitive to

the other children' stares and felt so different and alienated b/c of the

meltdowns. We did finally put him on medicine to get through the end of the year

and it did help. I hope things start to improve for you and your son.

> > >

> > > Hello,

> > > My 6 year old son was recently diagnosed with OCD. His therapist thinks

it was triggered from a bully experience he encountered at school.

> > >

> > > He has no compulsions, just bad thoughts. He thinks he hurts people at

school, which he doesn't. He tells me that he wants to hurt me, but quickly

tells me that he would never do that. Once he came home and told me he licked

his teachers shirt, which didn't happen. He

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Agree also with previous posts. My son had extreme anxiety, expressed as

separation anxiety, starting in second grade. He had seen his gfather in the

hospital, who nearly died from a heart attack. He then was terrified of

separating from me, thinking I was going to die too. It is good you are looking

for help b/c I did not know how debilitating the anxiety was. I guess the OCD

part was the constant intrusive thought that we would die. Same scenerio with

the crying,screaming, and desperation as I would peel him off me and hand him

off to his teacher. If I knew what I know now, I would have put him on medicine

to try to get the anxiety down so he could actually learn something at school.

Lots of time lost as he struggled in his day. I also would have pushed for a 504

plan , even though his teacher was great, to address eating, arrival, etc. We

did the therapy but so difficult with the high anxiety. He was also sensitive to

the other children' stares and felt so different and alienated b/c of the

meltdowns. We did finally put him on medicine to get through the end of the year

and it did help. I hope things start to improve for you and your son.

> > >

> > > Hello,

> > > My 6 year old son was recently diagnosed with OCD. His therapist thinks

it was triggered from a bully experience he encountered at school.

> > >

> > > He has no compulsions, just bad thoughts. He thinks he hurts people at

school, which he doesn't. He tells me that he wants to hurt me, but quickly

tells me that he would never do that. Once he came home and told me he licked

his teachers shirt, which didn't happen. He

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , well you are certainly doing well with handling his OCD, challenging

it like you are and having him boss back. It's good to get silly about it like

he does too. Maybe with practice he'll get better at just thinking the talking

back. I get thoughts myself and just say " oh, shut up! " in my head! But it

doesn't work that easily for my son either.

I can certainly understand his thoughts about those boys!! I wasn't physically

attacked/bullied like he was (tho there were threats), but I was picked

on/teased/laughed at (my speech problem) as a kid, and I certainly had some

" nice " daydreams about being able to beat them up, knock them out cold.... I

also have a lot of thoughts about how the principal handled that situation, but

will just think/daydream them too! I'd have been like your son, just shut

down, quiet, ((hugs)) to him!

I don't think changing schools will help, or is a sure answer. Don't know

who/what may be at the other school, and if they aren't bothering him now in any

way. Does he have any friends at school, anyone he does play with, etc.?

How big is his school, any way to request those boys not be in the same class

next year??

A past member of this group had a child with thoughts of harming her (the mom)

and also had to do some exposures with her daughter standing by her holding a

knife, as she also would think about stabbing her mom and knives scared her (so

some exposures were being in same room for a while, later leading to actually

handling one, later to be near mom....). Scary for her too though she knew her

daughter wouldn't actually do it. Though I will say in my case, out of 3 sons,

one was (is) pretty impulsive acting and I'm not sure I'd be able to handle it

with him!

As I said, you're doing a great job with this. Really, he's already making

progress by working on bossing back and exposures!

>

> Hi

>

> As far as I know the bullying has stopped. I think that my son would tell me.

He is very open with me, which is a blessing and a burden.

>

> According to the school, once they pull him off, within a few minutes he is

" better " . He stops crying and goes right in to class.

> The teacher says she doesn't notice anything out of the ordinary. She said

his hand writing goes from good to bad, day to day, but that isn't totally

abnormal for a 1st grader. Sometimes he is distracted doing his homework, but I

think that is more for attention. His baby sister demands a lot from me, so

that is his alone time with just me. I think he prolongs it just to have me all

to himself. We do get through it though, and when he finally settles down, he

has no issue doing the work.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , well you are certainly doing well with handling his OCD, challenging

it like you are and having him boss back. It's good to get silly about it like

he does too. Maybe with practice he'll get better at just thinking the talking

back. I get thoughts myself and just say " oh, shut up! " in my head! But it

doesn't work that easily for my son either.

I can certainly understand his thoughts about those boys!! I wasn't physically

attacked/bullied like he was (tho there were threats), but I was picked

on/teased/laughed at (my speech problem) as a kid, and I certainly had some

" nice " daydreams about being able to beat them up, knock them out cold.... I

also have a lot of thoughts about how the principal handled that situation, but

will just think/daydream them too! I'd have been like your son, just shut

down, quiet, ((hugs)) to him!

I don't think changing schools will help, or is a sure answer. Don't know

who/what may be at the other school, and if they aren't bothering him now in any

way. Does he have any friends at school, anyone he does play with, etc.?

How big is his school, any way to request those boys not be in the same class

next year??

A past member of this group had a child with thoughts of harming her (the mom)

and also had to do some exposures with her daughter standing by her holding a

knife, as she also would think about stabbing her mom and knives scared her (so

some exposures were being in same room for a while, later leading to actually

handling one, later to be near mom....). Scary for her too though she knew her

daughter wouldn't actually do it. Though I will say in my case, out of 3 sons,

one was (is) pretty impulsive acting and I'm not sure I'd be able to handle it

with him!

As I said, you're doing a great job with this. Really, he's already making

progress by working on bossing back and exposures!

>

> Hi

>

> As far as I know the bullying has stopped. I think that my son would tell me.

He is very open with me, which is a blessing and a burden.

>

> According to the school, once they pull him off, within a few minutes he is

" better " . He stops crying and goes right in to class.

> The teacher says she doesn't notice anything out of the ordinary. She said

his hand writing goes from good to bad, day to day, but that isn't totally

abnormal for a 1st grader. Sometimes he is distracted doing his homework, but I

think that is more for attention. His baby sister demands a lot from me, so

that is his alone time with just me. I think he prolongs it just to have me all

to himself. We do get through it though, and when he finally settles down, he

has no issue doing the work.

>

[Guest guest]

, when you think back to the strep episode, can you recall OCD starting

sometime soon after that? Even any little " quirks " he had prior to that might

have worsened and OCD was triggered.

>

> Hi ,

> Interesting that your brought that up. I did have a blood work done when his

thoughts first started, but I didn't think to ask if they checked for Lyme or

any other auto-immune disorders. I suffer from a rare auto-immune disorder,

mixed connective tissue disorder, so it wouldn't be a stretch to think that my

son might have one as well.

>

> He did have a bad case of strep last year, it infected his lymph notes so bad

he had to hospitalized.

>

[Guest guest]

, when you think back to the strep episode, can you recall OCD starting

sometime soon after that? Even any little " quirks " he had prior to that might

have worsened and OCD was triggered.

>

> Hi ,

> Interesting that your brought that up. I did have a blood work done when his

thoughts first started, but I didn't think to ask if they checked for Lyme or

any other auto-immune disorders. I suffer from a rare auto-immune disorder,

mixed connective tissue disorder, so it wouldn't be a stretch to think that my

son might have one as well.

>

> He did have a bad case of strep last year, it infected his lymph notes so bad

he had to hospitalized.

>

[Guest guest]

hi kelly,

I have a now 13 yr old with extreme anxiety mostly about going to school and OCD

rituals that are in place to deal with unwanted thoughts about death, people

dying, this started when he suffered bullying at school then had a horrible

incident with his teacher, we left the school but it has caused problems now for

the rest of school life, he finds it hard to trust and worries all the time

about bad things happening, when i read that your son is being dragged from you

I worry that it is not helping him, and causing more anxiety.........I also

thought about home education, but worried about the social aspect. we changed

last year to a small private school which has helped a great deal, although i

understand your concerns about giving in to the OCD, it is a huge decision to

take, and then to leave good friends behind is a big sacrifice too.

we are using CBT to manage the compulsions, but it is a slow process, so hard to

see these children suffer so much, feel free to mail me if you have any other

questions, i will try to help,

maree

>

> Hello,

> My 6 year old son was recently diagnosed with OCD. His therapist thinks it

was triggered from a bully experience he encountered at school.

>

> He has no compulsions, just bad thoughts. He thinks he hurts people at school,

which he doesn't. He tells me that he wants to hurt me, but quickly tells me

that he would never do that. Once he came home and told me he licked his

teachers shirt, which didn't happen. He becomes so unsure of himself that he

just curls up in a ball and crys. He is becoming depressed and just wants these

bad thoughts to stop. He keeps having outbursts begging my husband and I to just

make his mind better. He is starting to shut down and not want to leave the

house in fear that he might hurt someone.

>

> Going to school is a nightmare. He starts crying and showing signs of anxiety

about going to school the next day the minute I pick him up from school. When

we get there the principal waits for us and has to drag him off of me crying and

screaming for me not to leave him. He is afraid he might truly act out his bad

thoughts. He wants to know how I can promise him that he won't hurt somebody, or

how I know for sure he hasn't already. And honestly, how do I know.

>

> I am struggling trying to figure out how to help him. It is heart breaking to

see my young son dealing with such a crazy mental illness.

>

> If anyone has a child who has obsessive bad thoughts, what type of therapy

have you tried? I know there is no miracle cure, just want to make sure we are

on the right path.

>

> His current therapist has him reading What to do when my brain gets stuck,

which he tells me doesn't help him at all. I have thought of changing schools

since he can't seem to get past the bully experience, but his therapist feels

that is giving his OCD to much power. He has to learn to deal with this anxiety

and as each day goes by when nothing bad happens, at some point his mind will

move on. But he doesn't feel like nothing bad happens, he is confused between

his thoughts and reality. I feel that maybe a new start away from the kids who

hurt him might help his anxiety level. Does anyone have any input on this issue?

>

> Thank you for your time. I am looking forward to getting information that

might be able to help my son.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hang in there, . I just wanted to say that my 8 year old has meltdowns and

the unrelenting OCD has resulted in a depression in him. Remember, in children

depression often manifests itself as anger. We are having a tough time getting

our son on a med that will work for him. He had a really adverse reaction

(atypical) to 2 SSRI's and is now on Trileptal (used off label as a mood

stabilizer) which is actually not doing a thing one way or another. Back to the

psychiatrist Monday. I will say that having him put on a 504 plan at school has

made a HUGE difference with his functioning there. He has been in therapy but I

think that it is so physiological that it has not really made much of a

difference...he has more of the intrusive thoughts and is more obsessional than

compulsive. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself. It is exhausting

and takes its toll on the entire family. I also have OCD and am quite well

stabilized on my SSRI. We definitely know people who have children with mild

anxiety or are on the spectrum but don't have anyone in real life who have

children with OCD...so when I read this forum I feel less isolated and it is

really helpful.

> > > >

> > > > Hi

> > > >

> > > > As far as I know the bullying has stopped. I think that my son would

> > tell me. He is very open with me, which is a blessing and a burden.

> > > >

> > > > According to the school, once they pull him off, within a few minutes

> > he is " better " . He stops crying and goes right in to class.

> > > > The teacher says she doesn't notice anything out of the ordinary. She

> > said his hand writing goes from good to bad, day to day, but that isn't

> > totally abnormal for a 1st grader. Sometimes he is distracted doing his

> > homework, but I think that is more for attention. His baby sister demands a

> > lot from me, so that is his alone time with just me. I think he prolongs it

> > just to have me all to himself. We do get through it though, and when he

> > finally settles down, he has no issue doing the work.

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My dd was dx with ocd and anxiety at 4 yrs old and did just fine with therapy

and no meds.  I know that doesnt always work for everyone, but it did for us.

Sharon

________________________________

To:

Sent: Tuesday, January 3, 2012 3:11 PM

Subject: Re: New to OCD and Looking for Advice

 

Are there any side effects from the medication? I was just talking to my

husband about that, but wasn't sure if he was too young. I have an appointment

with another doctor who can subscribe medications, if it will help him, I am all

for it.

Thanks for getting back!

>

> At six, he may simply be too young to find relief entirely from therapy

> alone. His mind and emotional control is not yet matured. We find a low

> dosage of Zoloft combined with weekly therapy is the right fit for my seven

> year old. The Zoloft helps her to gain control over her

> thoughts/feelings/compulsions. She can then put what she is learning in

> therapy into play.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My dd was dx with ocd and anxiety at 4 yrs old and did just fine with therapy

and no meds.  I know that doesnt always work for everyone, but it did for us.

Sharon

________________________________

To:

Sent: Tuesday, January 3, 2012 3:11 PM

Subject: Re: New to OCD and Looking for Advice

 

Are there any side effects from the medication? I was just talking to my

husband about that, but wasn't sure if he was too young. I have an appointment

with another doctor who can subscribe medications, if it will help him, I am all

for it.

Thanks for getting back!

>

> At six, he may simply be too young to find relief entirely from therapy

> alone. His mind and emotional control is not yet matured. We find a low

> dosage of Zoloft combined with weekly therapy is the right fit for my seven

> year old. The Zoloft helps her to gain control over her

> thoughts/feelings/compulsions. She can then put what she is learning in

> therapy into play.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My dd was dx with ocd and anxiety at 4 yrs old and did just fine with therapy

and no meds.  I know that doesnt always work for everyone, but it did for us.

Sharon

________________________________

To:

Sent: Tuesday, January 3, 2012 3:11 PM

Subject: Re: New to OCD and Looking for Advice

 

Are there any side effects from the medication? I was just talking to my

husband about that, but wasn't sure if he was too young. I have an appointment

with another doctor who can subscribe medications, if it will help him, I am all

for it.

Thanks for getting back!

>

> At six, he may simply be too young to find relief entirely from therapy

> alone. His mind and emotional control is not yet matured. We find a low

> dosage of Zoloft combined with weekly therapy is the right fit for my seven

> year old. The Zoloft helps her to gain control over her

> thoughts/feelings/compulsions. She can then put what she is learning in

> therapy into play.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sounds like you are doing some good work with him.  IMO, I dont know that a new

school would help - he might find an issue with a different school...

Sharon

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wednesday, January 4, 2012 12:46 PM

Subject: Re: New to OCD and Looking for Advice

 

Hi

As far as I know the bullying has stopped. I think that my son would tell me.

He is very open with me, which is a blessing and a burden.

According to the school, once they pull him off, within a few minutes he is

" better " . He stops crying and goes right in to class.

The teacher says she doesn't notice anything out of the ordinary. She said his

hand writing goes from good to bad, day to day, but that isn't totally abnormal

for a 1st grader. Sometimes he is distracted doing his homework, but I think

that is more for attention. His baby sister demands a lot from me, so that is

his alone time with just me. I think he prolongs it just to have me all to

himself. We do get through it though, and when he finally settles down, he has

no issue doing the work.

The weekends are filled with anxiety for school to start again. He has a hard

time just enjoying his time off, and then gets frustrated since he wasted his

time worrying. At home, when he brings up school, or hurting someone, we are

trying to have him talk back to his OCD. This does help him a bit since he gets

to yell out loud and makes a joke of his OCD by saying silly things to make

himself laugh. It gives him some relief but doesn't really seem to stop the

thoughts for long. He can't seem to grasp the concept of talking back in his

head, so talking out aloud is the only thing that helps. Which sadly he can't

do at school.

That is why I am wondering if a new school might help? Any thoughts about that?

My husband is against home schooling, which was my first thought. I feel sad for

him that he is alone in school, suffering with these thoughts, with out his

personal cheer leader (me) there to help him get through the day. I know he gets

through the day, but at what expense? Most of his killing thoughts are directed

at the 4 boys that hurt him. Quick version, 4 boys got mad at my son for playing

with the girls. One kept knocking him on the ground, one bounced a ball of his

face, one kept kicking him and one just kept screaming.. get him..get him.

School was very disappointing to me and him on how they dealt with it. The

basically made my son confront the 4 boys and my son shut down and it got

dismissed. I resolved the issue with the school, and don't think it will happen

again, but sad that it happened at all.

I have also challenged his thoughts. When he tells me he is afraid his nail is

going to stab me and kill me. I literally make him stab me with his nail to

show him that it isn't going to kill me. I have to say that helps, he typically

doesn't bring that specific thought up again. Now, some of these I can't do

that. When he is holding a butter knife and tells me his mind is telling him to

stab me with that, well that could really hurt me. Not quite sure how to handle

those except to make him talk back to it!

I am so happy I found this group. I have been wondering around feeling

helpless, at least now I feel that I can get some sound advice on how to help my

child.

Thank you!

> >

> > Hello,

> > My 6 year old son was recently diagnosed with OCD. His therapist thinks it

was triggered from a bully experience he encountered at school.

> >

> > He has no compulsions, just bad thoughts. He thinks he hurts people at

school, which he doesn't. He tells me that he wants to hurt me, but quickly

tells me that he would never do that. Once he came home and told me he licked

his teachers shirt, which didn't happen. He

>

[Guest guest]

, Oh, sorry he took it out on the dog. I'm guessing all this is getting to

him too, even though the bullying has stopped the effects don't, and then

ongoing stuff with OCD.... Hopefully that was a one-time occurrence!

I think letting our kids know that they can beat OCD, make it weak, but it will

take work (and maybe meds) is important. With - who is a logical,

science type guy - I also talked about serotonin and OCD and how the SSRI meds

work, or inositol.... And how OCD is really about brain chemicals, etc. etc.,

basically trying to make it a " body " thing more than seeming " mental. " Simply

put.

> >

> > Hi , well you are certainly doing well with handling his OCD,

challenging it like you are and having him boss back. It's good to get silly

about it like he does too. Maybe with practice he'll get better at just

thinking the talking back. I get thoughts myself and just say " oh, shut up! " in

my head! But it doesn't work that easily for my son either.

>