Guest guest Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Hi folks, This question may be too general, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what the ideal school environment is for a child with OCD, and whether that can be achieved in the public system. My wife and I have a 10-year-old son whose OCD is quite severe right now, and he's been facing some real challenges at school, particularly with regard to peers. Many thanks, . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 , my dd is 10 and in 4th grade at public school. Our school has been wonderfully supportive. She has a summer birthday and the year she was 5, we thought she was ready for kindergarten, until we attended the open house. She had an anxiety attack. This was 6 bdays before school was too start. The next day, I contacted the school and said we were unsure she was ready. So they set up a meeting the next day. 4 days before school was to start, we met with her teacher, social worker, principal, psychologist, and one other person, cant remember who. We all decided it would be best for dd to wait and start kindergarten the following school year, when she was 6. They even recommended a preschool program that dealt with children with various special needs - which she could attend for free. We have had a lot of help and support over the years in our school. I feel very fortunate about that and feel comfortable that, no matter what needs she has, our district will be able to provide them. Also, just to point out, before she started school we looked into private school (both dh and I attended private school and considered it for her). When we went to visit the school, I mentioned her OCD and anxiety and they all looked at me like I had 2 heads. They had never heard of a child having issues like that. That was all I needed to hear - they would not be able to provide her the help and support she would need. Sharon ________________________________ To: Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 9:51 PM Subject: ideal school environment  Hi folks, This question may be too general, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what the ideal school environment is for a child with OCD, and whether that can be achieved in the public system. My wife and I have a 10-year-old son whose OCD is quite severe right now, and he's been facing some real challenges at school, particularly with regard to peers. Many thanks, . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 18, 2011 Report Share Posted October 18, 2011 Debbie, I am sorry your dd had such a terrible experience in school! I will agree, one upside to OCD/anxiety is that my dd does not follow the crowd, either. I hope that continues as she gets older - instead of it making her want to join in on things to feel like she belongs. Sharon ________________________________ To: Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 7:56 AM Subject: Re: ideal school environment  , this is just my humble opinion, but I don't think an ideal situation can be achieved in a public school for a kid with OCD. The school would have to be inhabited by incredibly open-minded people AND children and be able to accommodate the many changing fears, obsessions, and compulsions that go along with it. And knowing how mean kids can be when someone is different, I can sympathize with what your son must be going through. My DD was diagnosed at 14, and her peers were NOT nice about it and girls are WAAAAY meaner than boys! We made the mistake of telling 4 girls I thought would stay her friends about her OCD, and they just dumped her after that. They didn't understand her fears and didn't want to try. For about a year and a half, she was the target of even more freguent bullying, especially by one kid who found it funny to do things that he knew would trigger her fears. We finally had to get the principal to threaten to suspend the kid if he messed with her again. She doesn't exist to them now; she's just someone they go to school with. The up side to this is she doesn't go to the parties they have and get drunk and then brag at school about it! She does not follow the crowd and has learned to be her own person; she is way more focused on her life after high school whereas they are only concerned with what they're going to wear the next day to school. Can't wait for graduation next year. Anyway, if you have a REALLY good counselor at the school and a good program for kids with neuro issues, that will help a lot. However, if you have administrators and teachers who just don't want more problems, then you'll have a harder road. If you can find even ONE person at your school that is willing to advocate for your son's needs along with you, that would be a big plus. Just keep in mind you can't change the kids however; sometimes they are just so mean it's unbelievable! Sorry if this sounds pretty cynical; our experiences have not been positive. My daughter has been at this school since preschool, and we thought it would just add even more anxiety to make her switch at this late stage in her school life. By the way, kudos to you for being on this group and active in helping your son. I've rarely seen a dad post on here; while I'm sure there are plenty of involved dads behind the scenes, it just seems (IMHO) typically the moms who deal with the schools, doctors, appointments, stress, heartache, etc. Debbie > > > Hi folks, > > This question may be too general, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what the ideal school environment is for a child with OCD, and whether that can be achieved in the public system. My wife and I have a 10-year-old son whose OCD is quite severe right now, and he's been facing some real challenges at school, particularly with regard to peers. > > Many thanks, > . > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 Sharon, thanks! I worry constantly about my daughter, but I really do think she'll be ok once she gets out of the ridiculous social issues of high school. Her schoolwork is her main focus and while she still has her episodes of anxiety, she manages to get through them just by getting through one day at a time. She's got so much homework so far this year, I'm helping her learn to focus on just a few days ahead instead of next month, next year, etc. She's starting to think about college and feeling excitement as well as some fear, which I consider perfectly normal. Last night, we attended her National Honor Society induction! Debbie > > > > > > Hi folks, > > > > This question may be too general, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what the ideal school environment is for a child with OCD, and whether that can be achieved in the public system. My wife and I have a 10-year-old son whose OCD is quite severe right now, and he's been facing some real challenges at school, particularly with regard to peers. > > > > Many thanks, > > . > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 Hi Debbie, Thanks for sharing about your daughter's " win " -- and congratulations to your family on her NHS induction. Speaking as a mom of a recently diagnosed 10-year-old, it is really helpful and reassuring to hear of older kids living successfully with OCD. I hold the vision of my daughter living a happy, successful, " normal " life free of the grips of this disorder ... but there are times when my mind takes me for a ride to some dark and fearful places, especially after hearing horror stories from our therapist. Hearing your story gives me hope. ;-) Take care, > > > > > > > > > Hi folks, > > > > > > This question may be too general, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what the ideal school environment is for a child with OCD, and whether that can be achieved in the public system. My wife and I have a 10-year-old son whose OCD is quite severe right now, and he's been facing some real challenges at school, particularly with regard to peers. > > > > > > Many thanks, > > > . > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2011 Report Share Posted October 19, 2011 Hi - It looks like you're getting mixed responses here, which might not be what you were looking for. But I have to tell you that I think it really depends on the individual schools you have to choose from and the teachers who work there more than whether the school is public, private, etc. We knew our son wasn't going to survive at our local public school this fall when we sat down with the " student services " team (administrator, teacher, social worker, special ed rep, and psychologist) to desribe his issues, show documentation of his diagnosis, and request either a 504 or an IEP. Their response to us was " let's just see how the year goes and continue our discussion in the spring... we think he's just a normal kid who's worried about coming to a new school. " We exercised our right to request evals and the formation of a 504, and they stalled to the point where we knew he'd be starting the year without support, which would be catastrophic for him. We toured several private schools, and they all were very welcoming -- but made statements like " we had a student like this 15 (or however many) years ago. He'll be okay here. " We chose against private schools because he would still need accomodations, and private schools aren't always in a position to provide such things. We also considered homeschool, virutal schools (as I'm an online teacher, myself), etc. But therapy-wise, it just seemed like it would be good for him to be in a social situation if we could find one that he can survive. We ended up open enrolling him into a local public school that's much more set up for all sorts of kids. It's a standard public elementary, and we couldn't be happier with our choice. The teachers and student support staff at this school immediately embraced him with his issues when we walked through the front door, and even his therapist says that the school is doing everything right. We have him on a 504 there, but honestly, I would still feel confident in his education at that school without it. So I think it really depends on the individual school rather than the type of school. Maybe consider looking into the various public schools around you to see if any of them are a better fit. You can always open enroll -- the schooling is free, you have lots of schools to choose from, and he can receive special services/support if he needs it. Good luck! Kara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 We found the flexibility of homeschooling to be a wonderful blessing. Often people think kids who are homeschooled are unsocialized, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Homeschooled kids are as socialized as you want them to be. Our son always had lots of friends though homeschool groups, church groups, sports, etc. He even had friends from our neighborhood, so that isn't an issue for most homeschoolers. BJ > > > Hi folks, > > This question may be too general, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what the ideal school environment is for a child with OCD, and whether that can be achieved in the public system. My wife and I have a 10-year-old son whose OCD is quite severe right now, and he's been facing some real challenges at school, particularly with regard to peers. > > Many thanks, > . > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 Hi! I've been through this as well with my son and can relate.He is 15, in a 504 plan at the high -school, and does not socialize with his peers.In his own words and I quote " School is a learning Institution and that is what I am here for to learn and go home. " Outside of school is Hockey so he does speak to some of the teamates at school but that's as far as it goes. Junior high was extremely difficult. he has a high GPA and is a perfectionist(very hard on himself). I don't think he could manage academically without the 504. I have 2 older boys and things seemed to change at age 19. Don't know what it is about 19 but it seemed to be the breakout age for them in terms of socializing. Sooooooo many people still do not understand him. Pam L. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 I also found homeschooling to be a great option for my son(15). It was during freshman year that his OCD became severe. School became very stressful because he was not sleeping at night due to OCD worries. He wasn't eating at school. He was going to a very rigorous arts charter school, he left home at 7 am and got home at 6pm. He started again this year but after the 2nd week, he was a mess. The school was wonderful. They were in the process of implementing a 504plan. His academic counselor was also a licensed therapist. His conservatory director had personal family experience with OCD. They were all very accommodating and compassionate. But it just wasn't enough for him. He needed to sleep in order to make up for sleepless nights he often had and still has. He needed to be able to eat as often as possible, his pediatrician keeps telling me that he needs to gain weight. We pulled him out and are homeschooling him now. It's a much more relaxed atmosphere for him. He's taking the same classes he was at his old school and he's doing great, most importantly he seems a lot happier. SC > > > > > > Hi folks, > > > > This question may be too general, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what the ideal school environment is for a child with OCD, and whether that can be achieved in the public system. My wife and I have a 10-year-old son whose OCD is quite severe right now, and he's been facing some real challenges at school, particularly with regard to peers. > > > > Many thanks, > > . > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 Wow, she is doing awesome! Sharon ________________________________ To: Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2011 8:05 AM Subject: Re: ideal school environment  Sharon, thanks! I worry constantly about my daughter, but I really do think she'll be ok once she gets out of the ridiculous social issues of high school. Her schoolwork is her main focus and while she still has her episodes of anxiety, she manages to get through them just by getting through one day at a time. She's got so much homework so far this year, I'm helping her learn to focus on just a few days ahead instead of next month, next year, etc. She's starting to think about college and feeling excitement as well as some fear, which I consider perfectly normal. Last night, we attended her National Honor Society induction! Debbie > > > > > > Hi folks, > > > > This question may be too general, but I'm just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what the ideal school environment is for a child with OCD, and whether that can be achieved in the public system. My wife and I have a 10-year-old son whose OCD is quite severe right now, and he's been facing some real challenges at school, particularly with regard to peers. > > > > Many thanks, > > . > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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