Re: New to OCD and Looking for Advice-New Question

[Guest guest]

? about therapy

OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused about

what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his therapist

about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything that he had told

me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet self.

He saw her 2x's, then she had to go on vacation, then she got sick.. and it

ended up being a month between appointments.

I had my file of information for her, how he was doing with the separation at

school, his anxiety and anything that he had shared with me in that month. I

explained that he has been angry (explained the whole dog issue), he has been

more defiant, and is shutting down. Over the past week he just doesn't open up

with me anymore. Told her is like a different child.

Now my son enters from the waiting room, who is pretty respectful to people, was

a complete alien. She asked him to sit down in a chair next to me, but not on

the couch where I was sitting. I think she was testing his separation... he

bucked. Said he wanted to sit by his mom. She told him he had 2 choices, to

sit in the chair she requested or to sit in the waiting room. He sat down next

to me. After 15 mins of telling her he wanted to sit by me and her telling him

to move, I picked him up and put him in the chair she was requesting he sat at.

He cried but stayed put.

It then turned in to he has behavioral issues and my husband and I need

parenting classes, OK--I never claimed to be perfect. I have no problem

examining my parenting style. I kept trying to bring the session back to my son.

In the last 5 mins of the session, she finally started to speak to my son. He

basically told her he thinks about killing and hurting people all day. He

wouldn't go in to detail. She asked him about school, his response, I cry and

then my mom leaves and I have to calm down. He was completed shut down, which is

not who she saw a month ago.

So, her final word is she can't address the OCD until she figures out what is

behavioral issues, anxiety and/or OCD. My husband and I need to come to 2

sessions and work on the 123 Magic parenting class. After that she will revisit

her diagnoses of my son and start to work with him again.

Is this normal? I didn't get a good vibe from her from the beginning but since

my son seemed to talk to her, I figured I would give her a chance.

Now, I am thinking if my son is feeling out of control of his mind, it would

made sense to me that he is acting out and being defiant. He is trying to gain

control somewhere else. Putting the hammer down and trying to get more control

over him seems like a bad idea to me. He is normally a pretty good kid, not

perfect but what kid is. This is not normal behavior from him, wouldn't this all

be tied to his OCD?

Should I just look for a new therapist? Or is there some truth in what she is

saying and should I give her more time?

In the mean while I have a sad angry kid who needs help. I don't know if I have

another month for her to work on my parenting skills.

Thanks for any advice,

(NJ-6 year old with OCD)

> > >

> > > Hi , well you are certainly doing well with handling his OCD,

challenging it like you are and having him boss back. It's good to get silly

about it like he does too. Maybe with practice he'll get better at just

thinking the talking back. I get thoughts myself and just say " oh, shut up! " in

my head! But it doesn't work that easily for my son either.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

? about therapy

OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused about

what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his therapist

about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything that he had told

me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet self.

He saw her 2x's, then she had to go on vacation, then she got sick.. and it

ended up being a month between appointments.

I had my file of information for her, how he was doing with the separation at

school, his anxiety and anything that he had shared with me in that month. I

explained that he has been angry (explained the whole dog issue), he has been

more defiant, and is shutting down. Over the past week he just doesn't open up

with me anymore. Told her is like a different child.

Now my son enters from the waiting room, who is pretty respectful to people, was

a complete alien. She asked him to sit down in a chair next to me, but not on

the couch where I was sitting. I think she was testing his separation... he

bucked. Said he wanted to sit by his mom. She told him he had 2 choices, to

sit in the chair she requested or to sit in the waiting room. He sat down next

to me. After 15 mins of telling her he wanted to sit by me and her telling him

to move, I picked him up and put him in the chair she was requesting he sat at.

He cried but stayed put.

It then turned in to he has behavioral issues and my husband and I need

parenting classes, OK--I never claimed to be perfect. I have no problem

examining my parenting style. I kept trying to bring the session back to my son.

In the last 5 mins of the session, she finally started to speak to my son. He

basically told her he thinks about killing and hurting people all day. He

wouldn't go in to detail. She asked him about school, his response, I cry and

then my mom leaves and I have to calm down. He was completed shut down, which is

not who she saw a month ago.

So, her final word is she can't address the OCD until she figures out what is

behavioral issues, anxiety and/or OCD. My husband and I need to come to 2

sessions and work on the 123 Magic parenting class. After that she will revisit

her diagnoses of my son and start to work with him again.

Is this normal? I didn't get a good vibe from her from the beginning but since

my son seemed to talk to her, I figured I would give her a chance.

Now, I am thinking if my son is feeling out of control of his mind, it would

made sense to me that he is acting out and being defiant. He is trying to gain

control somewhere else. Putting the hammer down and trying to get more control

over him seems like a bad idea to me. He is normally a pretty good kid, not

perfect but what kid is. This is not normal behavior from him, wouldn't this all

be tied to his OCD?

Should I just look for a new therapist? Or is there some truth in what she is

saying and should I give her more time?

In the mean while I have a sad angry kid who needs help. I don't know if I have

another month for her to work on my parenting skills.

Thanks for any advice,

(NJ-6 year old with OCD)

> > >

> > > Hi , well you are certainly doing well with handling his OCD,

challenging it like you are and having him boss back. It's good to get silly

about it like he does too. Maybe with practice he'll get better at just

thinking the talking back. I get thoughts myself and just say " oh, shut up! " in

my head! But it doesn't work that easily for my son either.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow. I would not be comfortable in that kind of therapy. Who knows what was

going through your son's head? He was prob. trying to process through a

million things when she became all demanding. I work with kids (as a PT)

and I always give the child time to warm up, especially if they are

anxious. It takes my son at least 30 min. at the psychiatrist's before he

will even say what is bothering him. His anxiety still seems really high so

I would still try to work with the school to get a plan and try meds, if

you are comfortable with that.You seem like you have excellent parenting

skills so it looks like a distraction on her part b/c she doesn't know how

to proceed. The whole poor parenting skills statement seems like a cop out,

and I would find another therapist.

> **

>

>

>

>

> ? about therapy

>

> OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused

> about what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his

> therapist about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything

> that he had told me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet

> self.

>

> He saw her 2x's, then she had to go on vacation, then she got sick.. and

> it ended up being a month between appointments.

>

> I had my file of information for her, how he was doing with the separation

> at school, his anxiety and anything that he had shared with me in that

> month. I explained that he has been angry (explained the whole dog issue),

> he has been more defiant, and is shutting down. Over the past week he just

> doesn't open up with me anymore. Told her is like a different child.

>

> Now my son enters from the waiting room, who is pretty respectful to

> people, was a complete alien. She asked him to sit down in a chair next to

> me, but not on the couch where I was sitting. I think she was testing his

> separation... he bucked. Said he wanted to sit by his mom. She told him he

> had 2 choices, to sit in the chair she requested or to sit in the waiting

> room. He sat down next to me. After 15 mins of telling her he wanted to sit

> by me and her telling him to move, I picked him up and put him in the chair

> she was requesting he sat at. He cried but stayed put.

>

> It then turned in to he has behavioral issues and my husband and I need

> parenting classes, OK--I never claimed to be perfect. I have no problem

> examining my parenting style. I kept trying to bring the session back to my

> son. In the last 5 mins of the session, she finally started to speak to my

> son. He basically told her he thinks about killing and hurting people all

> day. He wouldn't go in to detail. She asked him about school, his response,

> I cry and then my mom leaves and I have to calm down. He was completed shut

> down, which is not who she saw a month ago.

>

> So, her final word is she can't address the OCD until she figures out what

> is behavioral issues, anxiety and/or OCD. My husband and I need to come to

> 2 sessions and work on the 123 Magic parenting class. After that she will

> revisit her diagnoses of my son and start to work with him again.

>

> Is this normal? I didn't get a good vibe from her from the beginning but

> since my son seemed to talk to her, I figured I would give her a chance.

>

> Now, I am thinking if my son is feeling out of control of his mind, it

> would made sense to me that he is acting out and being defiant. He is

> trying to gain control somewhere else. Putting the hammer down and trying

> to get more control over him seems like a bad idea to me. He is normally a

> pretty good kid, not perfect but what kid is. This is not normal behavior

> from him, wouldn't this all be tied to his OCD?

>

> Should I just look for a new therapist? Or is there some truth in what she

> is saying and should I give her more time?

>

> In the mean while I have a sad angry kid who needs help. I don't know if I

> have another month for her to work on my parenting skills.

>

> Thanks for any advice,

>

> (NJ-6 year old with OCD)

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Hi , well you are certainly doing well with handling his OCD,

> challenging it like you are and having him boss back. It's good to get

> silly about it like he does too. Maybe with practice he'll get better at

> just thinking the talking back. I get thoughts myself and just say " oh,

> shut up! " in my head! But it doesn't work that easily for my son either.

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow. I would not be comfortable in that kind of therapy. Who knows what was

going through your son's head? He was prob. trying to process through a

million things when she became all demanding. I work with kids (as a PT)

and I always give the child time to warm up, especially if they are

anxious. It takes my son at least 30 min. at the psychiatrist's before he

will even say what is bothering him. His anxiety still seems really high so

I would still try to work with the school to get a plan and try meds, if

you are comfortable with that.You seem like you have excellent parenting

skills so it looks like a distraction on her part b/c she doesn't know how

to proceed. The whole poor parenting skills statement seems like a cop out,

and I would find another therapist.

> **

>

>

>

>

> ? about therapy

>

> OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused

> about what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his

> therapist about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything

> that he had told me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet

> self.

>

> He saw her 2x's, then she had to go on vacation, then she got sick.. and

> it ended up being a month between appointments.

>

> I had my file of information for her, how he was doing with the separation

> at school, his anxiety and anything that he had shared with me in that

> month. I explained that he has been angry (explained the whole dog issue),

> he has been more defiant, and is shutting down. Over the past week he just

> doesn't open up with me anymore. Told her is like a different child.

>

> Now my son enters from the waiting room, who is pretty respectful to

> people, was a complete alien. She asked him to sit down in a chair next to

> me, but not on the couch where I was sitting. I think she was testing his

> separation... he bucked. Said he wanted to sit by his mom. She told him he

> had 2 choices, to sit in the chair she requested or to sit in the waiting

> room. He sat down next to me. After 15 mins of telling her he wanted to sit

> by me and her telling him to move, I picked him up and put him in the chair

> she was requesting he sat at. He cried but stayed put.

>

> It then turned in to he has behavioral issues and my husband and I need

> parenting classes, OK--I never claimed to be perfect. I have no problem

> examining my parenting style. I kept trying to bring the session back to my

> son. In the last 5 mins of the session, she finally started to speak to my

> son. He basically told her he thinks about killing and hurting people all

> day. He wouldn't go in to detail. She asked him about school, his response,

> I cry and then my mom leaves and I have to calm down. He was completed shut

> down, which is not who she saw a month ago.

>

> So, her final word is she can't address the OCD until she figures out what

> is behavioral issues, anxiety and/or OCD. My husband and I need to come to

> 2 sessions and work on the 123 Magic parenting class. After that she will

> revisit her diagnoses of my son and start to work with him again.

>

> Is this normal? I didn't get a good vibe from her from the beginning but

> since my son seemed to talk to her, I figured I would give her a chance.

>

> Now, I am thinking if my son is feeling out of control of his mind, it

> would made sense to me that he is acting out and being defiant. He is

> trying to gain control somewhere else. Putting the hammer down and trying

> to get more control over him seems like a bad idea to me. He is normally a

> pretty good kid, not perfect but what kid is. This is not normal behavior

> from him, wouldn't this all be tied to his OCD?

>

> Should I just look for a new therapist? Or is there some truth in what she

> is saying and should I give her more time?

>

> In the mean while I have a sad angry kid who needs help. I don't know if I

> have another month for her to work on my parenting skills.

>

> Thanks for any advice,

>

> (NJ-6 year old with OCD)

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Hi , well you are certainly doing well with handling his OCD,

> challenging it like you are and having him boss back. It's good to get

> silly about it like he does too. Maybe with practice he'll get better at

> just thinking the talking back. I get thoughts myself and just say " oh,

> shut up! " in my head! But it doesn't work that easily for my son either.

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ugh! well...I'd be wanting to work on the OCD/anxiety first and see if that

improves behavior. No, don't like the way she's starting out.

Now - I realize they see all kinds of kids with different problems and that kids

with " behavior " can act out, be demanding, whatever, just like our's but no

OCD/anxiety involved. And I know the therapists/doctors are only hearing what

we say and seeing the child for an hour or less. AND I know the approaches may

be different depending on how to handle due to the cause.

But I would go with my gut on what I think will work best. We parents aren't

always 100% right, and therapists/doctors don't want us dictating treatment to

them (then why do we need them, etc), so another 1 or 2 sessions may help with

decision.

I'd do the 2 sessions on 123, I've heard many say they like it, it's helped, but

that wasn't OCD related, just parenting related! Then you have that in your

" bag " to use with him or any other children. See how it can fit in with a Plan

for your son.

I think she should have let him sit where he wanted today and at future sessions

work on sitting separately. I mean she tried, he refused.... Kids will listen,

do as others say, even when not listening to parents (think respectful to

teachers, not so respectful to us at home). I think at some point she should

have dropped it and had in the Plan to work on in future sessions. I like that

when you put him there he stayed, I would think she'd have been impressed by

that. Maybe she thinks he has some control, or rather that YOU do, since you

took control and he stayed? And that you just don't assert it often enough and

it seemed a behavior...? Which with OCD is not the way to handle, I'm just

guessing what she may be thinking. Heck, I think she'd want to build up some

trust first, not be demanding. Like " well that's fine if you want to sit there "

and move on to the next subject.

Again, go with your gut. I'd do the 123 Magic, see how another session or 3

goes, and in the meantime - if your feelings don't change for the better - be

looking around for who to call for a future appointment! Maybe call and try out

another anyway, depending on how finances/insurance works. (sometimes we don't

get much choice in who is available to see) And since you have a good idea on

how OCD should be treated/handled, you should pick up on any signals she's

sending out that shows she doesn't " get " OCD.

Quick thoughts.

(who is lately transposing a lot in my typing or adding a wrong word/letter and

too lazy to proofread good! Not the best sign on how my brain is working!)

>

>

>

> ? about therapy

>

> OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused

about what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his

therapist about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything that

he had told me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet self.

>

[Guest guest]

Ugh! well...I'd be wanting to work on the OCD/anxiety first and see if that

improves behavior. No, don't like the way she's starting out.

Now - I realize they see all kinds of kids with different problems and that kids

with " behavior " can act out, be demanding, whatever, just like our's but no

OCD/anxiety involved. And I know the therapists/doctors are only hearing what

we say and seeing the child for an hour or less. AND I know the approaches may

be different depending on how to handle due to the cause.

But I would go with my gut on what I think will work best. We parents aren't

always 100% right, and therapists/doctors don't want us dictating treatment to

them (then why do we need them, etc), so another 1 or 2 sessions may help with

decision.

I'd do the 2 sessions on 123, I've heard many say they like it, it's helped, but

that wasn't OCD related, just parenting related! Then you have that in your

" bag " to use with him or any other children. See how it can fit in with a Plan

for your son.

I think she should have let him sit where he wanted today and at future sessions

work on sitting separately. I mean she tried, he refused.... Kids will listen,

do as others say, even when not listening to parents (think respectful to

teachers, not so respectful to us at home). I think at some point she should

have dropped it and had in the Plan to work on in future sessions. I like that

when you put him there he stayed, I would think she'd have been impressed by

that. Maybe she thinks he has some control, or rather that YOU do, since you

took control and he stayed? And that you just don't assert it often enough and

it seemed a behavior...? Which with OCD is not the way to handle, I'm just

guessing what she may be thinking. Heck, I think she'd want to build up some

trust first, not be demanding. Like " well that's fine if you want to sit there "

and move on to the next subject.

Again, go with your gut. I'd do the 123 Magic, see how another session or 3

goes, and in the meantime - if your feelings don't change for the better - be

looking around for who to call for a future appointment! Maybe call and try out

another anyway, depending on how finances/insurance works. (sometimes we don't

get much choice in who is available to see) And since you have a good idea on

how OCD should be treated/handled, you should pick up on any signals she's

sending out that shows she doesn't " get " OCD.

Quick thoughts.

(who is lately transposing a lot in my typing or adding a wrong word/letter and

too lazy to proofread good! Not the best sign on how my brain is working!)

>

>

>

> ? about therapy

>

> OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused

about what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his

therapist about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything that

he had told me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet self.

>

[Guest guest]

You have been a great help Chris!! Thanks for taking your time to respond. I am

still trying to figure out if i should do the jarrows brand inositol powder or

the natural sources? Any last minute suggestions? Thanks to all:)

Sent from my iPhone

> Ugh! well...I'd be wanting to work on the OCD/anxiety first and see if that

improves behavior. No, don't like the way she's starting out.

>

> Now - I realize they see all kinds of kids with different problems and that

kids with " behavior " can act out, be demanding, whatever, just like our's but no

OCD/anxiety involved. And I know the therapists/doctors are only hearing what we

say and seeing the child for an hour or less. AND I know the approaches may be

different depending on how to handle due to the cause.

>

> But I would go with my gut on what I think will work best. We parents aren't

always 100% right, and therapists/doctors don't want us dictating treatment to

them (then why do we need them, etc), so another 1 or 2 sessions may help with

decision.

>

> I'd do the 2 sessions on 123, I've heard many say they like it, it's helped,

but that wasn't OCD related, just parenting related! Then you have that in

your " bag " to use with him or any other children. See how it can fit in with a

Plan for your son.

>

> I think she should have let him sit where he wanted today and at future

sessions work on sitting separately. I mean she tried, he refused.... Kids will

listen, do as others say, even when not listening to parents (think respectful

to teachers, not so respectful to us at home). I think at some point she should

have dropped it and had in the Plan to work on in future sessions. I like that

when you put him there he stayed, I would think she'd have been impressed by

that. Maybe she thinks he has some control, or rather that YOU do, since you

took control and he stayed? And that you just don't assert it often enough and

it seemed a behavior...? Which with OCD is not the way to handle, I'm just

guessing what she may be thinking. Heck, I think she'd want to build up some

trust first, not be demanding. Like " well that's fine if you want to sit there "

and move on to the next subject.

>

> Again, go with your gut. I'd do the 123 Magic, see how another session or 3

goes, and in the meantime - if your feelings don't change for the better - be

looking around for who to call for a future appointment! Maybe call and try out

another anyway, depending on how finances/insurance works. (sometimes we don't

get much choice in who is available to see) And since you have a good idea on

how OCD should be treated/handled, you should pick up on any signals she's

sending out that shows she doesn't " get " OCD.

>

> Quick thoughts.

>

>

> (who is lately transposing a lot in my typing or adding a wrong word/letter

and too lazy to proofread good! Not the best sign on how my brain is working!)

>

>

> >

> >

> >

> > ? about therapy

> >

> > OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused

about what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his

therapist about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything that

he had told me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet self.

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

You have been a great help Chris!! Thanks for taking your time to respond. I am

still trying to figure out if i should do the jarrows brand inositol powder or

the natural sources? Any last minute suggestions? Thanks to all:)

Sent from my iPhone

> Ugh! well...I'd be wanting to work on the OCD/anxiety first and see if that

improves behavior. No, don't like the way she's starting out.

>

> Now - I realize they see all kinds of kids with different problems and that

kids with " behavior " can act out, be demanding, whatever, just like our's but no

OCD/anxiety involved. And I know the therapists/doctors are only hearing what we

say and seeing the child for an hour or less. AND I know the approaches may be

different depending on how to handle due to the cause.

>

> But I would go with my gut on what I think will work best. We parents aren't

always 100% right, and therapists/doctors don't want us dictating treatment to

them (then why do we need them, etc), so another 1 or 2 sessions may help with

decision.

>

> I'd do the 2 sessions on 123, I've heard many say they like it, it's helped,

but that wasn't OCD related, just parenting related! Then you have that in

your " bag " to use with him or any other children. See how it can fit in with a

Plan for your son.

>

> I think she should have let him sit where he wanted today and at future

sessions work on sitting separately. I mean she tried, he refused.... Kids will

listen, do as others say, even when not listening to parents (think respectful

to teachers, not so respectful to us at home). I think at some point she should

have dropped it and had in the Plan to work on in future sessions. I like that

when you put him there he stayed, I would think she'd have been impressed by

that. Maybe she thinks he has some control, or rather that YOU do, since you

took control and he stayed? And that you just don't assert it often enough and

it seemed a behavior...? Which with OCD is not the way to handle, I'm just

guessing what she may be thinking. Heck, I think she'd want to build up some

trust first, not be demanding. Like " well that's fine if you want to sit there "

and move on to the next subject.

>

> Again, go with your gut. I'd do the 123 Magic, see how another session or 3

goes, and in the meantime - if your feelings don't change for the better - be

looking around for who to call for a future appointment! Maybe call and try out

another anyway, depending on how finances/insurance works. (sometimes we don't

get much choice in who is available to see) And since you have a good idea on

how OCD should be treated/handled, you should pick up on any signals she's

sending out that shows she doesn't " get " OCD.

>

> Quick thoughts.

>

>

> (who is lately transposing a lot in my typing or adding a wrong word/letter

and too lazy to proofread good! Not the best sign on how my brain is working!)

>

>

> >

> >

> >

> > ? about therapy

> >

> > OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused

about what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his

therapist about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything that

he had told me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet self.

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks to all who responded.

I am going to go pick up the 123 Magic DVD and see what this is all about. I

guess I am just confused how she decided that my husband and I need that. She

has seen my son and I all of 3x's and this is the first time she ever touched on

behavior issues. Never even asked me how my husband and I handle him... she

seems to be making a lot of assumptions. Or maybe this is just how she does

therapy. Too many maybes for me....

you are 100% correct about insurance issues. She is the ONLY therapist in

the State of NJ to take my insurance. My calls today are going to be the

insurance company to find out what my other options I have.

On a complete side note. Yesterday, my son was his ole sweet self. Funny,

entertaining, and seemed at peace. At bed, he asked me when these thoughts were

going to stop. I asked him when he had them and what they were. He said he had

them through out the day, all directed at me. His mind told him to kill me,

with different objects. He said that he thinks it is because he " loves me the

mostest " . I told him he really needs to talk back to them, he said he is just

too tired :-(

I don't understand the mood swings. 2 days prior he wouldn't talk to me about

what was in his head, was angry and sad and acting out. Yesterday, sweet as

pie. Is this normal for OCD, or could something else be going on here (like

Bipolar?)

Thanks for all the support and advice!

(NJ-6 year old with OCD)

> >

> >

> >

> > ? about therapy

> >

> > OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused

about what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his

therapist about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything that

he had told me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet self.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks to all who responded.

I am going to go pick up the 123 Magic DVD and see what this is all about. I

guess I am just confused how she decided that my husband and I need that. She

has seen my son and I all of 3x's and this is the first time she ever touched on

behavior issues. Never even asked me how my husband and I handle him... she

seems to be making a lot of assumptions. Or maybe this is just how she does

therapy. Too many maybes for me....

you are 100% correct about insurance issues. She is the ONLY therapist in

the State of NJ to take my insurance. My calls today are going to be the

insurance company to find out what my other options I have.

On a complete side note. Yesterday, my son was his ole sweet self. Funny,

entertaining, and seemed at peace. At bed, he asked me when these thoughts were

going to stop. I asked him when he had them and what they were. He said he had

them through out the day, all directed at me. His mind told him to kill me,

with different objects. He said that he thinks it is because he " loves me the

mostest " . I told him he really needs to talk back to them, he said he is just

too tired :-(

I don't understand the mood swings. 2 days prior he wouldn't talk to me about

what was in his head, was angry and sad and acting out. Yesterday, sweet as

pie. Is this normal for OCD, or could something else be going on here (like

Bipolar?)

Thanks for all the support and advice!

(NJ-6 year old with OCD)

> >

> >

> >

> > ? about therapy

> >

> > OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused

about what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his

therapist about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything that

he had told me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet self.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I have had a similar experience where a therapist tried to tell me that my

daughter was oppositional and defiant and I was a bad parent. If I was you,I

would find a new therapist. Of course kids with anxiety are going to try and

take control because they feel so out of control in all areas of their life.

In my opinion, a therapist should be trying to build a relationship with a child

and not having a power struggle over which chair he should sit in.

Go with your gut feeling!

Sent from my iPad

[Guest guest]

OCD turned my gentle, considerate ds into a child with rages. Before we

realized it was ocd, and you would have thought he had behavioral issues. But

all of his rage was related to having to touch " contaminated " objects in the

house.

If you are fairly certain your ds has ocd, make sure this therapist is

experieced in treating ocd. The first therapist I took my son to never

addressed his ocd, and was implying that my ds had issues with his dad. After

wasting a month with that therapist, I realized that he had no clue about

treating ocd.

I sometimes wonder if the therapists bring up issues they are familiar with,

because they either don't know how to recognize/treat ocd. I found another

therapist experienced in treating ocd, I had my son back after 12 weeks of erp

therapy.

I shed many tears over my son's ocd, and also how we were going to pay for the

therapy. Thank goodness the therapist accepted our insurance, but I was fully

prepared to pay whatever was necessary to take my son to the ocd expert for

treatment. That therapist saved my son and our family.

If you are having doubts about this therapist, it might be a sign to look for

another.

Sue

>

> Thanks to all who responded.

>

> I am going to go pick up the 123 Magic DVD and see what this is all about. I

guess I am just confused how she decided that my husband and I need that. She

has seen my son and I all of 3x's and this is the first time she ever touched on

behavior issues. Never even asked me how my husband and I handle him... she

seems to be making a lot of assumptions. Or maybe this is just how she does

therapy. Too many maybes for me....

>

> you are 100% correct about insurance issues. She is the ONLY therapist

in the State of NJ to take my insurance. My calls today are going to be the

insurance company to find out what my other options I have.

>

> On a complete side note. Yesterday, my son was his ole sweet self. Funny,

entertaining, and seemed at peace. At bed, he asked me when these thoughts were

going to stop. I asked him when he had them and what they were. He said he had

them through out the day, all directed at me. His mind told him to kill me,

with different objects. He said that he thinks it is because he " loves me the

mostest " . I told him he really needs to talk back to them, he said he is just

too tired :-(

>

> I don't understand the mood swings. 2 days prior he wouldn't talk to me about

what was in his head, was angry and sad and acting out. Yesterday, sweet as

pie. Is this normal for OCD, or could something else be going on here (like

Bipolar?)

>

> Thanks for all the support and advice!

>

>

> (NJ-6 year old with OCD)

>

[Guest guest]

, the only therapist that takes your insurance? Well that makes it

difficult though not impossible. If you decide she's not experienced to treat

OCD, then you can argue that with the insurance company. Others here have had

to go outside their " network " to get proper treatment, hope they can offer some

" know how " about it.

Well I'm glad he had a good day, hope that lasts!

>

> Thanks to all who responded.

>

> I am going to go pick up the 123 Magic DVD and see what this is all about. I

guess I am just confused how she decided that my husband and I need that. She

has seen my son and I all of 3x's and this is the first time she ever touched on

behavior issues. Never even asked me how my husband and I handle him... she

seems to be making a lot of assumptions. Or maybe this is just how she does

therapy. Too many maybes for me....

>

> you are 100% correct about insurance issues. She is the ONLY therapist

in the State of NJ to take my insurance. My calls today are going to be the

insurance company to find out what my other options I have.

[Guest guest]

Sue, 12 weeks of the right therapy and all that improvement! Thanks for pointing

that out. Everyone may differ in treatment time and progress, but I've also

read it can be done in that timeframe, your son is proof!

>

>

> I sometimes wonder if the therapists bring up issues they are familiar with,

because they either don't know how to recognize/treat ocd. I found another

therapist experienced in treating ocd, I had my son back after 12 weeks of erp

therapy.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Back when I had just graduated from college over 30 years ago, my OCD was so out

of control and I was given a referral to a therapist that I went to in the hopes

he could help although he didn't have any training in OCD. Well, he was such a

jerk: I had severe contamination fears, and when he handed me an appointment

card with the next appointment written down, I didn't want to take it. He

attacked me by saying that this was proof that I didn't want responsibility. He

was so off the mark because clearly I had responsbility because despite

tremendous contamination fears I had traveled a far distance alone to get to the

appointment and I had committed the date of the next appointment to memory, I

was just too scared of contamination to take the card. This was a huge sign to

me that he had no clue about OCD, and I never went back to him. I later found a

top notch OCD specialist who helped me gain back my life.

Re: New to OCD and Looking for Advice-New Question

I have had a similar experience where a therapist tried to tell me that my

daughter was oppositional and defiant and I was a bad parent. If I was you,I

would find a new therapist. Of course kids with anxiety are going to try and

take control because they feel so out of control in all areas of their life.

In my opinion, a therapist should be trying to build a relationship with a child

and not having a power struggle over which chair he should sit in.

Go with your gut feeling!

Sent from my iPad

[Guest guest]

I am going to go with my gut. My husband feels the same way, this therapist is

just not equipped to deal with our son. She just seems to assume to much

without asking questions. Her treatment of my son just didn't feel right.

I did call the insurance and they found some places in North New Jersey they

want me to check out. Will be calling them today. My insurance just said that

we will have to try out who they have within a reasonable driving distance (90

miles each way is reasonable...) before she can approve someone out of network.

I did call a few out of network therapists to do phone interviews, since I know

having the right therapist is crucial to my son.

Yesterday was a good day, minus the insane anxiety about going to school. He

seemed happy when I picked him up from school. He did tell me he had a thought

about me blowing away in the wind and he couldn't find me, better then him

trying to kill me. We made jokes about me being a kite and he laughed through

his anxiety of losing me. He just asked again, when will these thoughts stop.

Feel bad I don't have an answer for him.

Thanks for all the feedback. Keep you posted!

> >

> >

> > I sometimes wonder if the therapists bring up issues they are familiar with,

because they either don't know how to recognize/treat ocd. I found another

therapist experienced in treating ocd, I had my son back after 12 weeks of erp

therapy.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think it is good that you are willing to try the DVD, but I feel like you have

to listen to your gut a lot in these kinds of situations. If your gut tells you

that she isn't approaching this the right way, then you might be right.

I also have insurance issues although I am in NC. I ended up going to doctors

at a research hospital an hour away and I have to pay out of pocket. However,

this hospital does charge a little less than most providers. However, I have to

take my daughter out of school every Tuesday at 1pm to get her to the

appointments. At first, I was really worried about it and stressed out about

how I was going to pay for it all, but now it feels like a normal bill that I

have to pay and I just go ahead and budget it in with my paycheck. I know

everyone can not do that though, so I am just thankful that I am able to do so.

I hope you are able to get your child the help he needs.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ? about therapy

> > >

> > > OK--The first time my son went to his therapist, he was insecure, confused

about what was going on, but was willing and able to communicate with his

therapist about his killing thoughts. He was open and told her everything that

he had told me. He even made her a card. His typical thoughtful, sweet self.

> > >

> >

>