Re: Re: Huge Vent..Thank you

[Guest guest]

When my kids talk about us, or them, dying, I dont say yes and dont say no.  I

say " We are healthy and do (mention healthy things we do like go to the doc for

check ups, get exercise, etc) to stay healthy, so we will be around for

awhile! "   That usually helps calm any worries.

 

A while ago we did have a long talk about us and them dying, and we did talk

about the " what ifs " .  We also talked about how unlikely it would be that the

entire family would die and leave just my one OCDer alone.  Confronting these

fears have helped.  But my OCDer (10 yrs old) wont say the word " die " and if

she is singing a song (she loves to sing) that says anything like die, dead,

kill, etc, she will not sing those words.

Sharon

________________________________

To:

Sent: Monday, January 9, 2012 9:19 AM

Subject: Re: Huge Vent..Thank you

 

This new worry of us dying seems to come and go. I'm sure it all has to do with

my Mom's condition....I feel he is going to have a rough time when she finally

does pass away. We keep telling him that it will be ok when she dies because she

would not want to be living how she is and when she is gone, she will be his

guardian angel. My problem is I don't know how to answer him when he says my

husband and I are going to die. I don't want to say " no, we are not " because,

God forbid, what if something did happen to one of us and we got into an

accident and one or both of us die.....he will be scarred for life!

Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was a magic pill our kids took just once and

made everything go away and they could lead happy, healthy, " normal " lives?!!

Debbie

> >

> > Right before Christmas I posted a huge vent about my almost 13 year old son

who suffers from anxiety/OCD and Aspergers. With the kids being home from school

and the hustle & bustle of the holidays, I did not get a chance to really sit

down and " digest " the comments from all of you. I want to take this time now to

thank all of you who responded and pretty much validated my feelings at the

time. I do know I love my son, but it is very hard to like him some (most) days

lately. It was a long week off he had from school and then when it was time to

return on Tuesday, I had him home and to the doctor with a double ear infection!

I will admit, I was bummed he was home that day and was glad he went back

Wednesday. I was concerned about whether he would go Wednesday because his new

anxiety is he is afraid to not be with my husband or myself because he thinks we

are going to die! I asked him why he thought we were going to die and his

response was " because you

Alzheimers! " Neither my husband or myself have Alzheimers (or any other

disease), BUT my mother is in the final stages of it and the kids know she won't

be with us for any great length of time.....I actually didn't think we would

have her with us this past Christmas, but we did. If we do leave him at home

with his siblings and he gets thinking about it, his anxiety increases and then

takes it out on his sister! And being 15, she is too stubborn to just walk away

and go into her room....instead she will just stay in the spot she is in and

almost edges him on! So now we are back to not having them home alone together

too much for awhile...again! I am hoping that now that the holidays are over, he

will settle back down. I will admit he has been a bit more tolerable this week

than last. We had a horrible day one day last week that resulted in my oldest

son, who is 20 and away at college, yelling " I can't take this anymore how he

treats you; I am not coming

home in the summer; I do not want to go to Disney World, take my name off the

reservations " (we are going to Disney for 2 weeks in August....somewhat of

Christmas present to the family). I know my son was frustrated, but reactions

like that do NOT help....in fact it makes it worse for me, not them. My husband

will do the same thing....get all pissy at our son and says stupid things (I

think them, don't say them...usually! LOL!) and it only makes it harder on me

because then I am the one settling him down. They just don't get it no matter

how many times I tell them!

> >

> > Oh well, I am rambling here....sorry! I was really only intending on saying

my thank you!

> > So again, thank you for those who had comforting words...they did help.

> >

> > I hope everyone has a wonderful 2012 filled with less anxiety and other

" issues " !!

> >

> > Debbie

> >

>