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A Discouraging Day

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Hi,

This was a really frustrating day. We fought traffic taking my dd to her

appointment with her new therapist. I'd been waiting for an appointment with

this lady for a while, because she seems to be the only person in the area who

uses CBT/ERP techniques for patients with OCD.

The therapist talked to S about her low self esteem and self loathing. I had

suggested that would be a good thing to explore -- unlike her intrusive

thoughts, her negative self image is not affected by medication. S describes

herself as " ugly, " " mean, " " lazy, " and " cruel. "

She told the counselor she can't change and she sees no hope for her own future.

She has said she expects to end up killing herself in the next year or so (she's

not suicidal right now, but since her hospitalization last year, she thinks it's

only a matter of time). Or at best she'll live at home indefinitely,

unemployable and lonely.

S sat passively on the couch, unengaged and refusing to make any effort on her

own behalf. My heart breaks for her, but I'm also frustrated. I feel like I've

been working hard as heck and we've just run into a brick wall. Sometimes I'm

afraid there's no hope. :-(

Thanks for listening,

Steph (dd with OCD, anxiety/depression, Asperger's & NVLD)

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