Re: really need to hear other opinions

[Guest guest]

My first thought would be, what does your son think?  If he is ok with it, I

would talk to the people you think should know - if it would make a

difference.  I tell the people that I think need to know and if it would make a

difference/help if they did know.

Sharon

To:

Sent: Sunday, September 4, 2011 9:02 PM

Subject: really need to hear other opinions

 

Hello to all and to those who have newly joined. It has been sooooooooo long I

forgot I joined a support group. I don't want to make this long so I'll try to

get right to the point. My son is 15, plays hockey, and has OCD and General

anxiety disorder. Most of the topics I read about or have read I can relate to

as he has either experienced it or has some of the traits mentioned. I am at a

point where I feel that I need to explain my son to those who don't know what he

has. I am speaking mostly of coaches, friends and family who don't see him that

often but mostly the people who run the hockey team. I'm not looking for

sympathy nor do I want them to treat him any different I just am tired of them

wondering and questioning why he is the way he is. What do you think I should

do? Does it matter at this point.? Ex: no eye contact with others, no smiles to

serious, repetitive thoughts etc. Please let me know what you think. I don't

want to say anything if it's

going to have a negative impact. if anyone who reads this is new to the group,

my thoughts are with you and if there were one piece of advice I could give to

you it would be Take care of yourself.

Pam L.

[Guest guest]

Hard to decide sometimes, who to tell, not tell. With school it was the

teachers, counselors. didn't want anyone else to know.

But outside school, others, I've told and he doesn't know. Like with driver's

ed, I told that instructor about his Aspergers without consulting ,

letting him know.

If it's so obvious that his coaches are asking you, I would probably tell them

if it's affecting their attitude toward him or just that they are concerned

about him. If you feel it's his GAD that plays a bigger part with hockey, just

tell them about the GAD. If his OCD is distracting him and that's the problem,

just mention the OCD and how he has these constant thoughts (you can say random

thoughts if they ask, don't have to be specific as to what kind of thoughts)

playing 24/7 in his head, etc.

Other parents - If I were to tell any, I'd probably go with the GAD and just be

matter of fact about it, that he has GAD and it's a bit severe right now; add

he's getting treatment if he is. If you totally trust the parent, you could

tell them both. But I'd worry about their telling their kids, etc., so your son

would probably be " more okay " with them just knowing he has an anxiety disorder

than OCD (OCD is so much harder to explain to others I think, a lot think it's

just a " checking " or " washing " thing).

Some of my coworkers - I have told them. Told one of my neighbors too, who was

his teacher aide in elementary school, he doesn't know I told her. She's always

stayed interested in my sons, how they're doing, etc.

Hopefully our " gut " is good with letting us know who not to tell, not foolproof

though!

>

> Hello to all and to those who have newly joined. It has been sooooooooo long I

forgot I joined a support group. I don't want to make this long so I'll try to

get right to the point. My son is 15, plays hockey, and has OCD and General

anxiety disorder. Most of the topics I read about or have read I can relate to

as he has either

[Guest guest]

It would be so great if the coaches had a sincere understanding. The thing is -

most people don't really understand OCD. Therefore telling them often falls on

" ignorant " ears. Sometimes I even wish I hadn't told family members - because

their response is so darn stupid! But wouldn't it be a relief to be able to

explain his quirks. Is he taking meds & CBT? Together they can have a huge

impact. (I bet the kids would be more accepting than the adults)

Best of luck! Keep us posted

>

> Hello to all and to those who have newly joined. It has been sooooooooo long I

forgot I joined a support group. I don't want to make this long so I'll try to

get right to the point. My son is 15, plays hockey, and has OCD and General

anxiety disorder. Most of the topics I read about or have read I can relate to

as he has either experienced it or has some of the traits mentioned. I am at a

point where I feel that I need to explain my son to those who don't know what he

has. I am speaking mostly of coaches, friends and family who don't see him that

often but mostly the people who run the hockey team. I'm not looking for

sympathy nor do I want them to treat him any different I just am tired of them

wondering and questioning why he is the way he is. What do you think I should

do? Does it matter at this point.? Ex: no eye contact with others, no smiles to

serious, repetitive thoughts etc. Please let me know what you think. I don't

want to say anything if it's going to have a negative impact. if anyone who

reads this is new to the group, my thoughts are with you and if there were one

piece of advice I could give to you it would be Take care of yourself.

> Pam L.

>

[Guest guest]

I definitely would find out what my son wants others to know. I would divulge

to teachers and coaches on a need to know basis ....if their misunderstanding is

hurtful to him or if his behavior interferes with his functioning. So many

people (family included) don't get it and I think in some cases, explaining

doesn't help.

Bonnie

>

> Hello to all and to those who have newly joined. It has been sooooooooo long I

forgot I joined a support group. I don't want to make this long so I'll try to

get right to the point. My son is 15, plays hockey, and has OCD and General

anxiety disorder. Most of the topics I read about or have read I can relate to

as he has either experienced it or has some of the traits mentioned. I am at a

point where I feel that I need to explain my son to those who don't know what he

has. I am speaking mostly of coaches, friends and family who don't see him that

often but mostly the people who run the hockey team. I'm not looking for

sympathy nor do I want them to treat him any different I just am tired of them

wondering and questioning why he is the way he is. What do you think I should

do? Does it matter at this point.? Ex: no eye contact with others, no smiles to

serious, repetitive thoughts etc. Please let me know what you think. I don't

want to say anything if it's going to have a negative impact. if anyone who

reads this is new to the group, my thoughts are with you and if there were one

piece of advice I could give to you it would be Take care of yourself.

> Pam L.

>

[Guest guest]

I definitely would find out what my son wants others to know. I would divulge

to teachers and coaches on a need to know basis ....if their misunderstanding is

hurtful to him or if his behavior interferes with his functioning. So many

people (family included) don't get it and I think in some cases, explaining

doesn't help.

Bonnie

>

> Hello to all and to those who have newly joined. It has been sooooooooo long I

forgot I joined a support group. I don't want to make this long so I'll try to

get right to the point. My son is 15, plays hockey, and has OCD and General

anxiety disorder. Most of the topics I read about or have read I can relate to

as he has either experienced it or has some of the traits mentioned. I am at a

point where I feel that I need to explain my son to those who don't know what he

has. I am speaking mostly of coaches, friends and family who don't see him that

often but mostly the people who run the hockey team. I'm not looking for

sympathy nor do I want them to treat him any different I just am tired of them

wondering and questioning why he is the way he is. What do you think I should

do? Does it matter at this point.? Ex: no eye contact with others, no smiles to

serious, repetitive thoughts etc. Please let me know what you think. I don't

want to say anything if it's going to have a negative impact. if anyone who

reads this is new to the group, my thoughts are with you and if there were one

piece of advice I could give to you it would be Take care of yourself.

> Pam L.

>

[Guest guest]

I tend to tell people about anxiety, too, not the OCD.  Anxiety is something

people can understand and most can relate to.  Most have no clue about what OCD

REALLY is, just what they have seen on tv! 

Sharon

________________________________

To:

Sent: Monday, September 5, 2011 11:52 AM

Subject: Re: really need to hear other opinions

 

Hard to decide sometimes, who to tell, not tell. With school it was the

teachers, counselors. didn't want anyone else to know.

But outside school, others, I've told and he doesn't know. Like with driver's

ed, I told that instructor about his Aspergers without consulting ,

letting him know.

If it's so obvious that his coaches are asking you, I would probably tell them

if it's affecting their attitude toward him or just that they are concerned

about him. If you feel it's his GAD that plays a bigger part with hockey, just

tell them about the GAD. If his OCD is distracting him and that's the problem,

just mention the OCD and how he has these constant thoughts (you can say random

thoughts if they ask, don't have to be specific as to what kind of thoughts)

playing 24/7 in his head, etc.

Other parents - If I were to tell any, I'd probably go with the GAD and just be

matter of fact about it, that he has GAD and it's a bit severe right now; add

he's getting treatment if he is. If you totally trust the parent, you could

tell them both. But I'd worry about their telling their kids, etc., so your son

would probably be " more okay " with them just knowing he has an anxiety disorder

than OCD (OCD is so much harder to explain to others I think, a lot think it's

just a " checking " or " washing " thing).

Some of my coworkers - I have told them. Told one of my neighbors too, who was

his teacher aide in elementary school, he doesn't know I told her. She's always

stayed interested in my sons, how they're doing, etc.

Hopefully our " gut " is good with letting us know who not to tell, not foolproof

though!

>

> Hello to all and to those who have newly joined. It has been sooooooooo long I

forgot I joined a support group. I don't want to make this long so I'll try to

get right to the point. My son is 15, plays hockey, and has OCD and General

anxiety disorder. Most of the topics I read about or have read I can relate to

as he has either

[Guest guest]

I do feel that when I am questioned as to the why's of my son's behavior I need

to explain. For Ex: Why is he so serious?, why doesn't he ever smile?, and why

does he avoid eye contact with others or just avoiding people all together. You

are right that they wouldn't understand if I tried to explain the OCD. He's 15

and I think I'm worried for him now more than when he was a little boy. Hockey

is his Life currently and he still feels that there is nothing to look forward

to.

Thanks everyone

be Well

Pam L.