Re: Teen Sexual Behavior and OCD

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son, who is now 18, has had sexuality as his main OCD issue. In his case, he

feared all things sexual and once exposed, had to confess or cleanse himself

repeatedly via washing. Anything with a sexual hint to it would cause him

intense anxiety. I don't hear any of that in your daughter's description. If

anything, is it possible that she finds this whole experience pleasurable? If

so, than I don't think we're are talking about OCD here. I would also consider

the possibility that she might be going along to keep the boyfriend happy and

around. I think that some of us who have OCD, feel that the happiness of others

are our responsibility (like an obsessions) and do everything possible to keep

others happy (like a compulsion). OCD aside, I do agree with you about limiting

the opportunities for them to be alone. Teenagers have yet to develop good

judgment and so often do things impulsively. We might not be able to control

all they do, but we can certainly have some influence by our presence and

watchfulness.

Hope this helps.

Best,

Joni

Is this normal or is this OCD? My concern is OCD making the decision instead

of her. She is adament she wants to wait to have sex until college, but her

desire does not so she is in conflict between what she wants and what she

believes.

>

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[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son, who is now 18, has had sexuality as his main OCD issue. In his case, he

feared all things sexual and once exposed, had to confess or cleanse himself

repeatedly via washing. Anything with a sexual hint to it would cause him

intense anxiety. I don't hear any of that in your daughter's description. If

anything, is it possible that she finds this whole experience pleasurable? If

so, than I don't think we're are talking about OCD here. I would also consider

the possibility that she might be going along to keep the boyfriend happy and

around. I think that some of us who have OCD, feel that the happiness of others

are our responsibility (like an obsessions) and do everything possible to keep

others happy (like a compulsion). OCD aside, I do agree with you about limiting

the opportunities for them to be alone. Teenagers have yet to develop good

judgment and so often do things impulsively. We might not be able to control

all they do, but we can certainly have some influence by our presence and

watchfulness.

Hope this helps.

Best,

Joni

Is this normal or is this OCD? My concern is OCD making the decision instead

of her. She is adament she wants to wait to have sex until college, but her

desire does not so she is in conflict between what she wants and what she

believes.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Joni. I am thinking of it as an obsession since it seems to be

predominant. I do think she is feeling pressure from him because he has stated

he gets angry (not at her) when he hears about others having sex because he

hasn't yet.

Thank you for supporting my not letting them be alone belief. The young man

believes we are horrible for that. I don't believe my daughter feels that way

at all. I believe she understands and someone expects us to have rules to

protect her.

So when does sex become an obsession or addiction rather than normal?

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Joni. I am thinking of it as an obsession since it seems to be

predominant. I do think she is feeling pressure from him because he has stated

he gets angry (not at her) when he hears about others having sex because he

hasn't yet.

Thank you for supporting my not letting them be alone belief. The young man

believes we are horrible for that. I don't believe my daughter feels that way

at all. I believe she understands and someone expects us to have rules to

protect her.

So when does sex become an obsession or addiction rather than normal?

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

With OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - The obsession is the thought that

causes anxiety, the compulsion is the ritual they do to try to make the thought

stop.

I agree with Joni that it doesn't sound like OCD, since she doesn't seem to be

fearful or bothered by it.

Those with sexual OCD thoughts are repulsed and horrified by them, wanting them

to stop.

So, my guess is it is teenage hormones.

I agree they should wait. Teens often do not wait and it never turns out well.

I'm a little shocked his parents are just fine with it.

BJ

>

>

> Thanks, Joni. I am thinking of it as an obsession since it seems to be

predominant. I do think she is feeling pressure from him because he has stated

he gets angry (not at her) when he hears about others having sex because he

hasn't yet.

>

> Thank you for supporting my not letting them be alone belief. The young man

believes we are horrible for that. I don't believe my daughter feels that way

at all. I believe she understands and someone expects us to have rules to

protect her.

>

> So when does sex become an obsession or addiction rather than normal?

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

With OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - The obsession is the thought that

causes anxiety, the compulsion is the ritual they do to try to make the thought

stop.

I agree with Joni that it doesn't sound like OCD, since she doesn't seem to be

fearful or bothered by it.

Those with sexual OCD thoughts are repulsed and horrified by them, wanting them

to stop.

So, my guess is it is teenage hormones.

I agree they should wait. Teens often do not wait and it never turns out well.

I'm a little shocked his parents are just fine with it.

BJ

>

>

> Thanks, Joni. I am thinking of it as an obsession since it seems to be

predominant. I do think she is feeling pressure from him because he has stated

he gets angry (not at her) when he hears about others having sex because he

hasn't yet.

>

> Thank you for supporting my not letting them be alone belief. The young man

believes we are horrible for that. I don't believe my daughter feels that way

at all. I believe she understands and someone expects us to have rules to

protect her.

>

> So when does sex become an obsession or addiction rather than normal?

>

> Thanks,

>

[Guest guest]

BJ wrote: > So, my guess is it is teenage hormones. I agree they should wait.

Teens often do not wait and it never turns out well. I'm a little shocked his

parents are just fine with it.

Thanks, BJ. I guess I can impose any restrictions I want and notBJ feel bad

then if it isn't OCD

I don't understand his parents perspective at all. It seems they are the type

that just accept that teenagers do certain things. The consequences are too

high emotionally for girls for me to sit back and just allow things to happen.

Thanks,

Peg

[Guest guest]

BJ wrote: > So, my guess is it is teenage hormones. I agree they should wait.

Teens often do not wait and it never turns out well. I'm a little shocked his

parents are just fine with it.

Thanks, BJ. I guess I can impose any restrictions I want and notBJ feel bad

then if it isn't OCD

I don't understand his parents perspective at all. It seems they are the type

that just accept that teenagers do certain things. The consequences are too

high emotionally for girls for me to sit back and just allow things to happen.

Thanks,

Peg

[Guest guest]

As a prevention, has she had all three shots of the HPV vaccine?

Re: Teen Sexual Behavior and OCD

BJ wrote: > So, my guess is it is teenage hormones. I agree they should wait.

Teens often do not wait and it never turns out well. I'm a little shocked his

parents are just fine with it.

Thanks, BJ. I guess I can impose any restrictions I want and notBJ feel bad

then if it isn't OCD

I don't understand his parents perspective at all. It seems they are the type

that just accept that teenagers do certain things. The consequences are too

high emotionally for girls for me to sit back and just allow things to happen.

Thanks,

Peg

[Guest guest]

No, we won't be doing HPV vaccine because she has reactions to vaccinations. My

concern is mostly date rape because I feel she is leading him on with their

conversations. She will tell him things are still a long ways off, but the

conversations on so graphic. He pulls out the I'm depressed because we don't

get unsupervised time together card. She believes and says she doesn't want to

have sex until she is in college. She does not complain about my supervision

or rules. He complains about them. She knows the rules are there for her

protection. He isn't physically pressuring her or even verbally pressuring

her, but he is emotionally pressuring her. My husband had the talk with him

about men and women viewing sex differently and the emotions surrounding it and

date rape after they asked for private time. He is a egocentric young man that

thinks it is all about him. We would have the same restrictions no matter who

he was, but he makes it about him and because he has almost no restrictions he

has a hard time understanding us. His parents are willing to lie to us about

supervision at their house.

Peg

> So, my guess is it is teenage hormones. I agree they should wait.

Teens often do not wait and it never turns out well. I'm a little shocked his

parents are just fine with it.

>

> Thanks, BJ. I guess I can impose any restrictions I want and notBJ feel bad

then if it isn't OCD

>

> I don't understand his parents perspective at all. It seems they are the type

that just accept that teenagers do certain things. The consequences are too

high emotionally for girls for me to sit back and just allow things to happen.

>

> Thanks,

> Peg

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[Guest guest]

You are welcome, Peg.

I had parents, like his, and that kind of unstructured atmosphere led to some

really bad decisions. Teens aren't equipped to make serious decisions without

some guidance. Not only because they don't have the maturity, but they also do

not have any experience to base their decisions on.

I think your husband makes a great point when he says that men/boy and

women/girls view sex differently. Girls get very emotionally involved.

Those teens years are tough, but with OCD involved, they are even tougher. Our

son is 19 and sometimes it is so hard to sort out what is teenage stuff and what

is OCD.

BJ

> So, my guess is it is teenage hormones. I agree they should wait.

Teens often do not wait and it never turns out well. I'm a little shocked his

parents are just fine with it.

>

>

>

>

> Thanks, BJ. I guess I can impose any restrictions I want and notBJ feel bad

then if it isn't OCD

>

> I don't understand his parents perspective at all. It seems they are the type

that just accept that teenagers do certain things. The consequences are too

high emotionally for girls for me to sit back and just allow things to happen.

>

> Thanks,

> Peg

>