Transitions (..and now for something completely the same)

[Guest guest]

I have an 8-yr-old son, intelligent, sensitive and obsessive. I am tackling one

challenge with him at a time so as not to get overwhelmed. The current challenge

of choice is finding a better way to cope with transitions (ie: leaving the

house, bedtime, starting schoolwork). Panic & /or anxiety take over and he will

describe in detail how impossibly difficult it is & /or how much he HATES it or

CAN'T do it.

" Small " stuff turns into the " big " stuff around here.

I have been successful in helping him try " new " things by breaking them up into

small steps. Still, I am baffled by the every day challenges after trying

timers, doing one small task at a time, having a routine, positive encouragement

& empathy. I'm pretty sure his OCD stands for Opposed to Changing what he's

Doing.

Any ideas or advice is appreciated.

FYI he has been diagnosed w/OCD & SID (hypersensitive tactile, auditory and

oral)

[Guest guest]

Hmmm...what went wrong with timers and routine?

I was thinking prompting him ahead of time might help. Like, if he knows 8:30

he needs to start getting ready for bed at 9:00, then prompting him at 7:30 that

it's only 1 hour until 8, then only 40 minutes til 8.... Same with schoolwork.

And if you know there are errands/outings to do later.

Does he have " routines " he must do to prepare for these things, OCD-wise?

>

>

> I have an 8-yr-old son, intelligent, sensitive and obsessive. I am tackling

one challenge with him at a time so as not to get overwhelmed. The current

challenge of choice is finding a better way to cope with transitions (ie:

leaving the house, bedtime, starting schoolwork). Panic & /or anxiety take over

and he will describe in detail how impossibly difficult it is & /or how much he

HATES it or CAN'T do it.

> " Small " stuff turns into the " big " stuff around here.

>

> I have been successful in helping him try " new " things by breaking them up

into small steps. Still, I am baffled by the every day challenges after trying

timers, doing one small task at a time, having a routine, positive encouragement

& empathy. I'm pretty sure his OCD stands for Opposed to Changing what he's

Doing.

>

> Any ideas or advice is appreciated.

> FYI he has been diagnosed w/OCD & SID (hypersensitive tactile, auditory and

oral)

>

[Guest guest]

I wonder if your son has Asperger or a Non reading learning

disorder (where transitioning mind set is deficit, as is

organization and processing speed).

Oh boy!!!!!! Did I ever have issue with my daughter and

transitions. From the time she was a baby.

My daughter ended up needing medication, we tried zoloft

first and then we tried prozac. Her DNA matched better

for prozac. Medication really helped regulate her

emotions about transitioning (at a low dose).

The other thing that worked was a behavior plan.

She had to earn time on the computer and TV

for transitioning when I ask the first time,

if she doesn't transition, I don't give her

a point and I say I can't give you a point.

My daughter was very very difficult, and required

a prize for each and every transition before she

was on medication. So for example, take

your shower by 8pm and then you can watch

TV till 9pm. But I have a tough cookie, and

I had to look the cables for the TV or

she would turn it on. So oppositional.

Almost every day my daughter will say I am

not going to school and I say OK, but you know

then no TV or computer, it is your choice.

We had too many issues to describe, if you want to

email me, please do. Transitional issues are

a sign of executive function disorder, a ridgid mindset,

an inflexible thinker in other words a very difficult child

to raise without some support.

Pam

>

>

> I have an 8-yr-old son, intelligent, sensitive and obsessive. I am tackling

one challenge with him at a time so as not to get overwhelmed. The current

challenge of choice is finding a better way to cope with transitions (ie:

leaving the house, bedtime, starting schoolwork). Panic & /or anxiety take over

and he will describe in detail how impossibly difficult it is & /or how much he

HATES it or CAN'T do it.

> " Small " stuff turns into the " big " stuff around here.

>

> I have been successful in helping him try " new " things by breaking them up

into small steps. Still, I am baffled by the every day challenges after trying

timers, doing one small task at a time, having a routine, positive encouragement

& empathy. I'm pretty sure his OCD stands for Opposed to Changing what he's

Doing.

>

> Any ideas or advice is appreciated.

> FYI he has been diagnosed w/OCD & SID (hypersensitive tactile, auditory and

oral)

>

[Guest guest]

Here is our problem with routines:

He has a routine, for example bedtime is 9:30 so he needs to turn off tv by 7:30

and get ready for bed around 9:00. If I remind him, he panics. If the timer is

going he is anxious the whole time. If I don't remind him, and he notices it's

almost or after 9:30 he panics.

What else is there? sigh

> >

> >

> > I have an 8-yr-old son, intelligent, sensitive and obsessive. I am tackling

one challenge with him at a time so as not to get overwhelmed. The current

challenge of choice is finding a better way to cope with transitions (ie:

leaving the house, bedtime, starting schoolwork). Panic & /or anxiety take over

and he will describe in detail how impossibly difficult it is & /or how much he

HATES it or CAN'T do it.

> > " Small " stuff turns into the " big " stuff around here.

> >

> > I have been successful in helping him try " new " things by breaking them up

into small steps. Still, I am baffled by the every day challenges after trying

timers, doing one small task at a time, having a routine, positive encouragement

& empathy. I'm pretty sure his OCD stands for Opposed to Changing what he's

Doing.

> >

> > Any ideas or advice is appreciated.

> > FYI he has been diagnosed w/OCD & SID (hypersensitive tactile, auditory and

oral)

> >

>

[Guest guest]

organization and processing speed are also a slight issue. He can answer

questions, but it takes him longer than other kids and he avoids it if he can, I

have observed.

We are having him tested for a learning disability, not so much for a label, but

I need to know what direction to go, and I am looking for every alternative

available.

> >

> >

> > I have an 8-yr-old son, intelligent, sensitive and obsessive. I am tackling

one challenge with him at a time so as not to get overwhelmed. The current

challenge of choice is finding a better way to cope with transitions (ie:

leaving the house, bedtime, starting schoolwork). Panic & /or anxiety take over

and he will describe in detail how impossibly difficult it is & /or how much he

HATES it or CAN'T do it.

> > " Small " stuff turns into the " big " stuff around here.

> >

> > I have been successful in helping him try " new " things by breaking them up

into small steps. Still, I am baffled by the every day challenges after trying

timers, doing one small task at a time, having a routine, positive encouragement

& empathy. I'm pretty sure his OCD stands for Opposed to Changing what he's

Doing.

> >

> > Any ideas or advice is appreciated.

> > FYI he has been diagnosed w/OCD & SID (hypersensitive tactile, auditory and

oral)

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Jill, I think you're on the right track with focusing on one challenge at a time

and breaking it into steps.

I don't remember whether this has been mentioned, but would a visual aid help,

like a list of steps to getting ready? I did this with my daughter, who because

of her NVLD and auditory processing issues couldn't follow routines or

multi-step directions. We wrote a list of about 6 things (brush hair, brush

teeth, etc.) and I'd prompt her to follow the list. Eventually I could just say

" Do your six things " (without the list), which later changed to " do your

things, " then to " get ready. "

Hope this helps a little.

Steph

(17 y/o dd with OCD, anxiety/depression/NVLD & Asperger's)

>

>

> I have an 8-yr-old son, intelligent, sensitive and obsessive. I am tackling

one challenge with him at a time so as not to get overwhelmed.

[Guest guest]

I know how you feel. My 7 yr old with OCD doesn't transition well. I'm lucky

that my husband gets him off to school in the morning & I don't have to deal

with that. We live right across the street from his school & he's late a lot.

It's worse the days my dh puts cartoons on while they're getting ready. They

can't leave until it's over. If my dh turns it off & herds him out of the

house, he'll try to run back in to watch the end.

And I've noticed that he has his schedule in his head & if something changes, we

have a problem. If we follow his schedule, the transitions usually aren't as

bad because he knows they're coming. I put him in karate at our local Y last

year, it is every Tues & Thurs. Aidan doesn't really know the days of the week

very well, but he knows his schedule - church day, school days (with nothing,

karate, tutor, karate, speech), day off. If something like a day off from

school changes his schedule it throws him off completely - to the point where

it's hard to get him out of the house for karate. Or if I have to pick him up

early for something or someone else is driving him to karate, he has trouble

dealing. He needs lots of notice that his schedule is going to change. And

with 3 other kids & work, I can't always give him the notice & time he needs.

If I need to, I'll just force the issue so we get where we need to go. But as

much as possible, I try to make sure his schedule & mine are the same.

No advice here, just commisserating! Good luck!

Dani

>

>

> I have an 8-yr-old son, intelligent, sensitive and obsessive. I am tackling

one challenge with him at a time so as not to get overwhelmed. The current

challenge of choice is finding a better way to cope with transitions (ie:

leaving the house, bedtime, starting schoolwork).