Re: phsycologist please help me with my little boy

[Guest guest]

Hi, well these are just some thoughts.

First, hang in there. I had one son (not my current OCDer) who was similar at

that age and finally got past it. His shoes had to be " tight enough " , his socks

up " right " , slept in his shoes even! Changed clothes not too frequently, but

couldn't stand dirt so would change a shirt, etc. As I said, he got past that

eventually. I wasn't thinking OCD then. He's 23 now. Though he did have

problems with certain clothes at later age, and still always wears an

undershirt. Some materials just made him " shivery. " His twin is my OCDer, and

his OCD began in 6th grade.

For your son, I'm wondering if earning " rewards " might help. Could be earning

stars/stickers and get XX amount and get his reward; or do just one thing and

get a smaller reward.

If you could get him to keep his shirt or other items on an extra minute or 2

minutes before changing, he can earn a sticker/reward. He can still change

clothes, but he needs to try to delay it. Then as waiting X amount of time gets

easier, add another minute. Or if he will wear some piece of clothing he

doesn't like for 2 minutes, then he can take it off; working over time to keep

it on for a longer period. You start with small things, pick 1 or 2 things to

work on. And if you've ever set your microwave for a minute of time, 60 seconds

does last a bit long, lol, doesn't sound long but it is; so even a minute of

time with some " dreaded OCD " clothing or other can be a good place to start.

If sock seams are bothering him, you can turn them inside out, that often helps

if it is the seams, wearing them inside out.

Quick thoughts, keep us updated!

>

> hi my three and ahalf little boy has recently been diagnosed with ocd,

> it is so sad to see he like this he constantly changed his clothes, ive had to

put child locks on his draws in his room as he will just keep changing and it

get frustereating for me. ill fix his socks for him but he will keep crying and

get more frusterated with himself and u cause they r not writem or his shoe

laces there never write even

[Guest guest]

My OCD son has not had an issue with clothes but another son and myself actually

have issues with clothes feeling right. I was that way as a youngster and my mom

fought with me constantly. She sewed my clothes and still picked stiff, scratchy

fabrics. That is how it felt to me and also, I could smell the finish on the

fabrics and it made my eyes water. When I am having an anxious day, I go through

many clothes to find some that feel close to right. It is not perfect but I can

deal with " not perfect " now.

I recognized the same issues with my son (who is 22 now). I tried my hardest to

help him by trying to find clothes that work for him. He could tell me and that

helped. Certain socks. underwear, clothes,hats, mittens. Once we figured out

what would work, he was OK. He did have a period when he must have been feeling

particularly anxious when he would only wear 4 dif. costumes i made for him

(indian,cowboy, pirate). He would rotate between them (loose tops, loose

pants)pretty much when he was 4. Also loved costumes. I'm sure people thought he

was one quirky kid but he was happy so I guess I just went with it.

As far as your little guy, this son was pretty intense with his moods too and I

found the best thing was to just sit with him. Not react but just sit with him (

and take deep breaths). If I responded, that only escalated him. The suggestion

said may help too with trying to help him deal with things not being just

right. It is hard when they are so little and trying to reign in their emotions.

We had a little girl at work that had intense emotional reactions to

transitions, etc. A sticker chart worked with her and she would bring it home.

Her mom was great and praised her if she was able to earn stickers. Sometimes

seeing the rewards is helpful.

in WI

Roy-17,OCD/Anxiety/Depression/ADD. Adderal,Prozac,Busbar.

>

> hi my three and ahalf little boy has recently been diagnosed with ocd,

> it is so sad to see he like this he constantly changed his clothes, ive had to

put child locks on his draws in his room as he will just keep changing and it

get frustereating for me. ill fix his socks for him but he will keep crying and

get more frusterated with himself and u cause they r not writem or his shoe

laces there never write even velcro he shoes, he doesnt worry about his pj;s so

nuch but he wont wear jumpers tshirts or trackies with out a screeming match, if

he doesnt get his way he can be screeming for a longtime..

> he even goes the length that cause he knows i will growl at him if i have

folded clothed up on they r in the halway waiting for me to put them away he

will actually sneak them and come into me with it behind his back so i dont go

mad but i know what it is so he gets his own way....

> he has been traumertised when he was just 2years old as he had to have surgery

and he was a wreck even had nightmares for 3-4 months after i couldnt go

anywhere as he would get very upset, so maybe that was the trigger i have no

idea//// anyway we r on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist i was wanting to

know cou ld anyone who is a parent or someone give me some idears of how i can

help my little boy, im all outta options, cheers

>

[Guest guest]

thankyou guys this group makes me feel so much better just being able to talk to

someone as no one else understands.

i have brought a chart i am going to start in a few days when i have got it all

up and ready so just take one thing at a time thankyou chris.

his clothes dont have to even be dirty he will just change them as he doesnt

like them and oh my god if u dont u should c what happens, i have a good

patients spane and have sat and explained things to him and just sat there and

done nothing and that hasnt worked do i am gonna try the sticker board..

also tried the socks inside out but no go...

[Guest guest]

Hi Jay, glad the Zoloft has helped your son's OCD/anxiety ease up so he's made

progress. Any progress is great! Hopefully the new therapist will be able to

speed things up since they specialize in OCD. You're right, can be difficult

finding someone, especially one who treats children. We had no one in our area.

It's good the school is working with you on all this too.

Yes, being a support group here, you read what others are dealing with with

their child, same/similar/different and severity too. It's good to have a place

to come to, this group was my best support those first years with , even

though his behaviors didn't relate to any I read about here, or rarely. But the

cause/reason for it I understood, OCD. A good place for some ideas here too,

would take what I read from others and try to fit it to work on some of

's rituals/compulsions.

Of course, when things are going well many find no reason to post, also many

leave the group when OCD is no longer a huge issue with their child, they're

better, etc. The best success stories are ones you will read about in the many

books on OCD, the OCD Foundation website or their affiliate websites.

Are you concerned your son will pop up with new behaviors later, or just keep on

with the current ones or severity will worsen? I think that is something we all

worry about. 's present OCD is not what he started out with to the

severe degree, those early behaviors are long gone (cross fingers!), and while

I'm sure medication would help the rest, he refuses to try and at 23 I can't

make him (oh, for those childhood days when I could have, lol). But he's

managed high school and 4 years of college with it, guess he has adapted;

currently it is bad thoughts and scrupulosity type OCD, which I do believe he

had to a lesser degree when younger. In fact last night I could here him

mumbling in the kitchen, and purposefully asked him if he was talking to me; he

said no, I asked if his OCD was bothering him, he said a little. He hates to

talk about it. But all the visible behaviors he had when younger (middle school

and up) are gone. I found a little success with beating one behavior seemed to

help others go easier or they just seemed to disappear.

Having had my own OCD type " quirks " has helped my understanding, I guess, and

actually see a quirk or two with my other 2 sons at times. My own has been some

counting, some germ thing related to my mom, and my own scrupulosity type

thoughts, but nothing to the degree someone with the disorder deals with 24/7,

on and on.

I'm sorry the posts have caused you more worry! But as a place to share what is

going on with our children, vent, ask for ideas, update on things, etc., that's

what we're for! And to pass on what we've learned. Basically, as far as

treatment it's: CBT with ERP (cognitive behavioral therapy with exposure &

response prevention) for everyone, meds that can help, alternative things that

parents find helped, and having them checked for PANDAS/PANS. You're on the

right track for your son!

>

> Hi

>  

>>  

> It is heart breaking for any parent to see their children of any age go thru

this but we do have to remind ourselves that it is treatable. I have read some

really sad and

> scary posts on this site. While I understand they are for educational and

awareness purposes, I literally got depressed because I started to catastrophize

and wondered if my boy would turn out like some of these stories.

>  

> I really want to learn and understand  OCD and believe me I have come a long

way. I appreciate all you do for the site.

>  

>  

>  

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jay, hope your therapist is helpful for coping skills. Is your son confessing

his thoughts to you, or does he keep them to himself, just upset, etc?

It's hard for my son, he agonizes over his. My own, which I've had since at

least a teenager, I can just end up shrugging off. I always just called it my

" contrary brain " (contrary = opposite) - if I shouldn't think it, I will. I get

ANNOYED with them, not anxious. So, say, if I have awful thoughts about/towards

God or Jesus, a person, some thought of terrible action/harm or whatever, I

might just say " eeewwww, YUCK, shut up you stupid brain! as if I'd really do

that.... " and just go on with my day. OK, sometimes a quick compulsion

(yes, I admit it) and a quick " sorry God, YOU know I don't mean it, just stupid,

contrary brain " . Sigh, won't work that way for my son, he takes it too intense

as if he's that type of person or something or will go to Hell or something.

Religious or not, it's still a " contrary brain. " Put me in a church, I'll

have a " bad thought. " For me it's annoyance, not so for so many others!

I really didn't have " thoughts " for a while, but thinking so much about my son

made a lot pop up with me again. Partly wondering what all he might be

thinking.

You'll get your son back. With therapy the thoughts will lose their " power " and

eventually ease up, go away. And if one does pop up, he'll be able to shrug

them aside too.

My has " poor insight " into his OCD, per me and therapists. He feels the

thoughts are *him* and that OCD just makes them worse, more frequent, obsessed

over them. He does also have Aspergers Syndrome, so I think that may be a part

of why he has poor insight, but no solution to changing his perspective.

Quick thoughts, hang in there!

>

> thank you for your response. Because of where I'm at being new to OCD,

I felt I had to get some help for myself, I just started to see e a family

therapist to learn some coping skills dealing with OCD.

> Yes, I do worry that my son's OCD will get worse and that fear is something I

have to work on. I am so afraid that my little boy is lost and I will never get

him back. As you can imagine

> I want to do everything I can for him and it is so sad to see him so withdrawn

(he too has the bad thoughts.)

> Â

[Guest guest]

Yeah, didn't know any specific bad thing that would happen, just a

feeling something would.

>

> my son DJ won't share the thoughts, when asked he says that their just

" bad thoughts " that will hurt him but he doesn't know what the " bad " thing is or

when it will strike. Overall he is not a big talker so I gently ask the

questions when an opportune moment arises. Again he is only 10 years old, but he

has externalized OCD and calls it " IT " .  The good news is he says that it only

hits certain times of the day and not all the time. Thanks for sharing.

>

[Guest guest]

My son had the same exact problems as your son at his age - I just wish that I

had recognized what was going on! I think you are fortunate - perhaps you can

" nip it in the bud " so to speak. My son is now in middle school & with the help

of meds & therapy - is doing wonderfully!

One thing that I highly recommend (although your son is young) - I still

recommend this great kid friendly workbook -

What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming OCD

(What-to-Do Guides for Kids)

By Dawn Huebner, Bonnie s

It really helped my son understand things, and provided him tools to start

fighting OCD back...Can't say enough about this workbook - it is spot on.

Keep us posted

>

> hi my three and ahalf little boy has recently been diagnosed with ocd,

> it is so sad to see he like this he constantly changed his clothes, ive had to

put child locks on his draws in his room as he will just keep changing and it

get frustereating for me. ill fix his socks for him but he will keep crying and

get more frusterated with himself and u cause they r not writem or his shoe

laces there never write even velcro he shoes, he doesnt worry about his pj;s so

nuch but he wont wear jumpers tshirts or trackies with out a screeming match, if

he doesnt get his way he can be screeming for a longtime..

> he even goes the length that cause he knows i will growl at him if i have

folded clothed up on they r in the halway waiting for me to put them away he

will actually sneak them and come into me with it behind his back so i dont go

mad but i know what it is so he gets his own way....

> he has been traumertised when he was just 2years old as he had to have surgery

and he was a wreck even had nightmares for 3-4 months after i couldnt go

anywhere as he would get very upset, so maybe that was the trigger i have no

idea//// anyway we r on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist i was wanting to

know cou ld anyone who is a parent or someone give me some idears of how i can

help my little boy, im all outta options, cheers

>

[Guest guest]

You will definitely get to read some lovely " success " stories on this

group--just hang in there! I think is absolutely right when she says many

of us are motivated to reach out and compose a question or just share our

anxiety when we are in the throes of bad OCD episodes---and then we forget to

write or even check in when things are calm. I have noticed that in

myself--when my 16 y/o son is not displaying any overt signs of his OCD and

seems pretty happy, I actually " forget " about his OCD, it goes into the

background. But I am hoping that you find THAT good news in itself--that days

will come when you are not having to be consumed about this illness. And I pray

that one day I will be able to post a REALLY encouraging success story for any

or all that need it that day!

> > >

> > > Hi

> > > Â

> > >> Â

> > > It is heart breaking for any parent to see their children of any age go

thru this but we do have to remind ourselves that it is treatable. I have read

some really sad and

> > > scary posts on this site. While I understand they are for educational and

awareness purposes, I literally got depressed because I started to catastrophize

and wondered if my boy would turn out like some of these stories.

> > > Â

> > > I really want to learn and understand OCD and believe me I have come a

long way. I appreciate all you do for the site.

> > > Â

> > > Â

> > > Â

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

, so good to read that your son is so much better! Glad he responded in

therapy so well with it all. I remember your talking before about that first

therapist and the " sleep with one eye open " - can smile a bit about that now

that things are better but feel bad for anyone else who deals with OCD and sees

that one.

Had a bad therapist

> experience, she told my husband and I he was a psycho and basically I

> should sleep with one eye open. Found a GREAT therapist. Paid a lot of $$

> out of pocket but in 3 sessions, my son understood what OCD was, and how to

> boss it back. He became a pro in a short amount of time. As quick as those

> thoughts came in,they left him at the end of Feb. He had some confessing

> left to help ease his anxiety, confessing is his compulsion, but they have

> dwindled to almost non-existence over the past month. I asked him

> yesterday how the OCD monster was, he told me he forgot about it! No bad

> thoughts at all. His success really stemmed from his unusual ability to

> express to his therapist his bad thoughts, not an easy task for a 6 year

> old. He also responded well to exposure therapy.

[Guest guest]

We have been having trouble finding a good therapist for our son. Is the one

that your son sees specifically deal with children with OCD? How did you find

the right one? Thanks.

> > > > >

> > > > > Hi

> > > > > Â

> > > > >> Â

> > > > > It is heart breaking for any parent to see their children of any age

> > go thru this but we do have to remind ourselves that it is treatable. I

> > have read some really sad and

> > > > > scary posts on this site. While I understand they are for

> > educational and awareness purposes, I literally got depressed because I

> > started to catastrophize and wondered if my boy would turn out like some of

> > these stories.

> > > > > Â

> > > > > I really want to learn and understand OCD and believe me I have

> > come a long way. I appreciate all you do for the site.

> > > > > Â

> > > > > Â

> > > > > Â

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

We have been having trouble finding a good therapist for our son. Is the one

that your son sees specifically deal with children with OCD? How did you find

the right one? Thanks.

> > > > >

> > > > > Hi

> > > > > Â

> > > > >> Â

> > > > > It is heart breaking for any parent to see their children of any age

> > go thru this but we do have to remind ourselves that it is treatable. I

> > have read some really sad and

> > > > > scary posts on this site. While I understand they are for

> > educational and awareness purposes, I literally got depressed because I

> > started to catastrophize and wondered if my boy would turn out like some of

> > these stories.

> > > > > Â

> > > > > I really want to learn and understand OCD and believe me I have

> > come a long way. I appreciate all you do for the site.

> > > > > Â

> > > > > Â

> > > > > Â

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

We have been having trouble finding a good therapist for our son. Is the one

that your son sees specifically deal with children with OCD? How did you find

the right one? Thanks.

> > > > >

> > > > > Hi

> > > > > Â

> > > > >> Â

> > > > > It is heart breaking for any parent to see their children of any age

> > go thru this but we do have to remind ourselves that it is treatable. I

> > have read some really sad and

> > > > > scary posts on this site. While I understand they are for

> > educational and awareness purposes, I literally got depressed because I

> > started to catastrophize and wondered if my boy would turn out like some of

> > these stories.

> > > > > Â

> > > > > I really want to learn and understand OCD and believe me I have

> > come a long way. I appreciate all you do for the site.

> > > > > Â

> > > > > Â

> > > > > Â

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

, it's wonderful how well your son is doing now, he really learned his

therapy " tools " ! Sounds like he was great at talking back to it too. So sad

when they think they're " bad " for the thoughts. (said by mom with a 23 yr old

with scrupulosity!)

>

> My son's second session with the therapist he drew a picture of his OCD

> Monster, it hangs in his room to help him remember that this isn't him, he

>