Re: Advice for getting son to Roger's

[Guest guest]

One thing to think about might be:

Don't tell him until it is time to leave. Set up an appointment with the doc he

likes. Tell him at that appointment and leave right after without going back

home.

Tell him the reasons and that he is not being punished. But remember, you can't

control how he hears your words. No matter how you say it, he might feel as if

he is being punished. You are still the parent and will do as you think best for

him. At , they can help him see this is not a punishment.

I'd not tell him until you know for sure yourself and if the stress of thinking

about it will be too great, not give him much thinking time.

He might hate the idea, but that doesn't mean you are incorrect to send him. 

Good luck

-JuLeah

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sunday, February 26, 2012 5:56 AM

Subject: Advice for getting son to 's

 

HI all,

With 's HOPEFULLY being about 2+ weeks away, I would love to get

suggestions on what you feel might be the best way to introduce the whole

situation to my son. He's almost 16, however he's regressed to a very childlike

state in recent months with all of his behaviors, and has always been a very

sensitive child.

Given the fact that he stresses and fixates on something that might happen an

hour from now, even something as simple as going to the store or even for a walk

outside, I can not imagine how he will react when he finds out that he's going

halfway across the country for a few months to live. The other BIG problem is

that he is so inside his head now that he honestly does not feel there is much

of a problem with his behaviors and lifestyle (i.e. urinating/defecating outside

of the bathroom; not taking showers, not brushing teeth, laying on floor for

hours, zero social life, etc.).

I have wracked my brain on a daily basis and vacillate back and forth constantly

about the " best " or " right " way to tell him that will a)minimize the

stress/trauma to him not make him think that it's because he is doing

something wrong or being " punished " c) just get him to agree to go, period.

I don't think it will work well if just my husband and I sit him down and tell

him this at home, but then on the other hand, I'm not sure how well it will work

to do it at the therapist's office either. My other thought was to possibly get

his MD, psychiatrist, therapist, my husband and I together to do a " soft

intervention " of sorts. He does *not* like the psychiatrist, is so-so about the

therapist, but really likes his MD.

Okay, now I'm thinking, maybe that would work. Maybe it could be just his MD, my

husband and I to introduce 's to him. Bottom line, I don't want him to

think he's being " punished, " that is a huge concern because he is so sensitive,

and especially because he is not capable of seeing or acknowledging the severity

of his condition or issues, and I'm afraid he will think he's being sent to

's because of his Tourette's/tics, which is not the case.

I also wonder, if we did do some type of " intervention " if it would be better to

have say his MD come to our house (if he would agree to), or to do it at his

office.

The other issues is that last summer he went to a sleep-away camp in NC. He had

been the previous year and absolutely loved it, but his Tourette's and OCD were

not yet obvious or bothersome at that point. This past summer when he went he

was of course A LOT more functional and stable than he is now and his tics were

pretty minimal, his OCD was barely even on the radar. He ended up having to come

home halfway through because he said he hadn't slept for 2 days. Not because of

anything other than he started this cycle of obsessing about not sleeping, and

then couldn't sleep.

From there, he went into a week-long episode of what looked like nacrolepsy,

constantly falling into walls, laying around on the floor for hours, barely

functioning. Had him to dr., and to hospital to test for seizures, etc., but he

was all clear. We and the doctors chalked it up to exhaustion and left it at

that. Then, 3 weeks later, the same thing happened again, but it was much worse

the second time around. He has not had another episode since, however he still

talks about the " nightmare " at camp. He fixates SO much on things, that I have

no doubt he will immediately think of the camp " nightmare " when he finds out

he's going to be living away from home halfway across the country.

I know, it's a very complicated situation, I have no idea how we're going to do

this. I can't even imagine how we'll get him packed, into the car and on the

airplane without having to tie him and gag him!!! Just kidding, of course, but

you know what I mean.

Would love to hear any ideas you all might have.....

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

I think your idea of a " soft " intervention is an excellent one. Or perhaps just

with the MD if that is possible. Is it possible to time it so that you depart

for the airport, directly from the offfice. I don't think he would do well if

he had time to dwell on it. One last idea, I wonder if the MD could give him a

low dose sedative, to ease the transition.

Keep up posted, I know it must be breaking your heart to see him in so much

distress.

I know they will straighten things out there, he is blessed to be able to go to

a place like that.

>

> HI all,

>

> With 's HOPEFULLY being about 2+ weeks away, I would love to get

suggestions on what you feel might be the best way to introduce the whole

situation to my son. He's almost 16, however he's regressed to a very childlike

state in recent months with all of his behaviors, and has always been a very

sensitive child.

>

> Given the fact that he stresses and fixates on something that might happen an

hour from now, even something as simple as going to the store or even for a walk

outside, I can not imagine how he will react when he finds out that he's going

halfway across the country for a few months to live. The other BIG problem is

that he is so inside his head now that he honestly does not feel there is much

of a problem with his behaviors and lifestyle (i.e. urinating/defecating outside

of the bathroom; not taking showers, not brushing teeth, laying on floor for

hours, zero social life, etc.).

>

> I have wracked my brain on a daily basis and vacillate back and forth

constantly about the " best " or " right " way to tell him that will a)minimize the

stress/trauma to him not make him think that it's because he is doing

something wrong or being " punished " c) just get him to agree to go, period.

>

> I don't think it will work well if just my husband and I sit him down and tell

him this at home, but then on the other hand, I'm not sure how well it will work

to do it at the therapist's office either. My other thought was to possibly get

his MD, psychiatrist, therapist, my husband and I together to do a " soft

intervention " of sorts. He does *not* like the psychiatrist, is so-so about the

therapist, but really likes his MD.

>

> Okay, now I'm thinking, maybe that would work. Maybe it could be just his MD,

my husband and I to introduce 's to him. Bottom line, I don't want him to

think he's being " punished, " that is a huge concern because he is so sensitive,

and especially because he is not capable of seeing or acknowledging the severity

of his condition or issues, and I'm afraid he will think he's being sent to

's because of his Tourette's/tics, which is not the case.

>

> I also wonder, if we did do some type of " intervention " if it would be better

to have say his MD come to our house (if he would agree to), or to do it at his

office.

>

> The other issues is that last summer he went to a sleep-away camp in NC. He

had been the previous year and absolutely loved it, but his Tourette's and OCD

were not yet obvious or bothersome at that point. This past summer when he went

he was of course A LOT more functional and stable than he is now and his tics

were pretty minimal, his OCD was barely even on the radar. He ended up having to

come home halfway through because he said he hadn't slept for 2 days. Not

because of anything other than he started this cycle of obsessing about not

sleeping, and then couldn't sleep.

> From there, he went into a week-long episode of what looked like nacrolepsy,

constantly falling into walls, laying around on the floor for hours, barely

functioning. Had him to dr., and to hospital to test for seizures, etc., but he

was all clear. We and the doctors chalked it up to exhaustion and left it at

that. Then, 3 weeks later, the same thing happened again, but it was much worse

the second time around. He has not had another episode since, however he still

talks about the " nightmare " at camp. He fixates SO much on things, that I have

no doubt he will immediately think of the camp " nightmare " when he finds out

he's going to be living away from home halfway across the country.

>

> I know, it's a very complicated situation, I have no idea how we're going to

do this. I can't even imagine how we'll get him packed, into the car and on the

airplane without having to tie him and gag him!!! Just kidding, of course, but

you know what I mean.

>

> Would love to hear any ideas you all might have.....

>

> Thanks!

>

>

[Guest guest]

, I'd go with your gut on when to tell him (right before you go straight

there, a day or two before...).

As to not wanting him to think he's being punished - Maybe if you go by the

perspective of " this wasn't happening a year ago, you weren't XXXX and something

is not right, we need to find out what, so we have to get you some inpatient

time for tests and also therapy, and so the doctors can *see* you and not just

go by what I tell them.... " And that they specialize in tics and OCD, whatever.

That camp thing -- Seemed to come on suddenly but really had ticks, mosquitos,

etc., popping up in my thoughts. Some illnesses and neurological things happen

with insect bites. Any tests in the past along those lines? Though I can

certainly see obsessing about not sleeping causing him not to sleep and

exhaustion/insomnia certainly can cause problems.

>

> HI all,

>

> With 's HOPEFULLY being about 2+ weeks away, I would love to get

suggestions on what you feel might be the best way to introduce the whole

situation to my son. He's almost 16, however he's regressed to a very childlike

state in recent months with all of his behaviors, and has always been a very

sensitive child.

>

> Given the fact that he stresses and fixates on something that might happen an

hour from now, even something as simple as going to the store or even for a walk

outside, I can not imagine how he will react when he finds out that he's going

halfway across the country for a few months to live. The other BIG problem is

that he is so inside his head now that he honestly does not feel there is much

of a problem with his behaviors and lifestyle (i.e. urinating/defecating outside

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Chris. He actually does have chronic Lyme (and Herpes!), both of which

were diagnosed before the camp episode. Since those episodes, although he hasn't

gone into a full blown " narcolepsy-ike " episode, he did develop sort of a

residual " tic " which crops up now and then where he'll flop over and snore, or

just flop over. He's not passing out or anything of the sort, I honestly think

it's a tic/OCDish thing. Like when he sits down at the table to eat now he'll

take a few bites and then flop his head down almost in his plate!

The past few days, his one tic has started really causing him major

stress/frustration. He laughs and then says " you didn't have to do that many, "

in rapid fire fashion. But what's happening now is he is stuttering big time

over the words " you didn't " before he can get the rest of it out. He's never had

any stuttering before, and it's strictly limited to this tic. He also contracts

his stomach muscles a lot and has a motor tic with his shoulders along with it.

Then, on top of that, he just yesterday started a teeth-clenching tic and woke

up this morning with a sore jaw!

As far as the 's thing, my concern is it might be way too traumatic for him

to go straight from the doctor. I have to be SO careful with every word I say to

him because he'll fixate on obsess on words, thoughts, etc. For example: last

summer when he had the " narcolepsy " episodes from camp, the neurologist put him

in Children's to do an overnight EEG to test for possible seizures. The next

morning, the doctor comes in with a smile on her face and says " good news, there

is no seizure activity, everything looks fine. " Okay, so we go home, and on the

way home I see this stressed look on my son's face. We get home and he's sort of

pacing around with a worried look. He tells me that he can't get the word

" seizure " out of his head. I said, " but she said you don't have any! " Didn't

matter, he was fixated. A few hours later, he comes and says he solved the

problem.........he replaced the word " seizure " with the word " leisure " and now

he feels better. OMG, how this child'd brain is working so overtime is just

mind-blowing! Now mind you, this was about 6 months ago, at a point where he was

functioning well, tics were not severe, nor was OCD, so you can only imagine

what is going on in that poor child's head now!!

> , I'd go with your gut on when to tell him (right before you go straight

there, a day or two before...).

>

> As to not wanting him to think he's being punished - Maybe if you go by the

perspective of " this wasn't happening a year ago, you weren't XXXX and something

is not right, we need to find out what, so we have to get you some inpatient

time for tests and also therapy, and so the doctors can *see* you and not just

go by what I tell them.... " And that they specialize in tics and OCD, whatever.

>

> That camp thing -- Seemed to come on suddenly but really had ticks, mosquitos,

etc., popping up in my thoughts. Some illnesses and neurological things happen

with insect bites. Any tests in the past along those lines? Though I can

certainly see obsessing about not sleeping causing him not to sleep and

exhaustion/insomnia certainly can cause problems.

>

>

>

>

> >

> > HI all,

> >

> > With 's HOPEFULLY being about 2+ weeks away, I would love to get

suggestions on what you feel might be the best way to introduce the whole

situation to my son. He's almost 16, however he's regressed to a very childlike

state in recent months with all of his behaviors, and has always been a very

sensitive child.

> >

> > Given the fact that he stresses and fixates on something that might happen

an hour from now, even something as simple as going to the store or even for a

walk outside, I can not imagine how he will react when he finds out that he's

going halfway across the country for a few months to live. The other BIG problem

is that he is so inside his head now that he honestly does not feel there is

much of a problem with his behaviors and lifestyle (i.e. urinating/defecating

outside

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, and JuLeah, seems like you both have similar suggestions. I was

thinking of that option of departing directly from the " intervention, " problem

is that he's watched the TV show " Intervention " on several occasions and I know

he would instantly relate his situation to the show as that's exactly what they

do on the show, the person must leave directly from the intervention, but on the

show they are drug addicts, alcoholics, etc. going to rehab. He fixates on stuff

like that and freaks out at the thought of being aligned with anything " bad. "

But like you said, giving him much time to think about or dwell on it is not a

pleasant option either.

I'm trying to think of the people who he really trusts and feels comfortable

with, people who have a soft touch and nurturing way about them. He's very

defiant and uncooperative right now with my husband and I, otherwise it wouldn't

be such a dilemma.

I think no matter which way we slice it, it's just not going to be a joyride to

say the least!

> I think your idea of a " soft " intervention is an excellent one. Or perhaps

just with the MD if that is possible. Is it possible to time it so that you

depart for the airport, directly from the offfice. I don't think he would do

well if he had time to dwell on it. One last idea, I wonder if the MD could give

him a low dose sedative, to ease the transition.

> Keep up posted, I know it must be breaking your heart to see him in so much

distress.

> I know they will straighten things out there, he is blessed to be able to go

to a place like that.

>

>

>

>

> >

> > HI all,

> >

> > With 's HOPEFULLY being about 2+ weeks away, I would love to get

suggestions on what you feel might be the best way to introduce the whole

situation to my son. He's almost 16, however he's regressed to a very childlike

state in recent months with all of his behaviors, and has always been a very

sensitive child.

> >

> > Given the fact that he stresses and fixates on something that might happen

an hour from now, even something as simple as going to the store or even for a

walk outside, I can not imagine how he will react when he finds out that he's

going halfway across the country for a few months to live. The other BIG problem

is that he is so inside his head now that he honestly does not feel there is

much of a problem with his behaviors and lifestyle (i.e. urinating/defecating

outside of the bathroom; not taking showers, not brushing teeth, laying on floor

for hours, zero social life, etc.).

> >

> > I have wracked my brain on a daily basis and vacillate back and forth

constantly about the " best " or " right " way to tell him that will a)minimize the

stress/trauma to him not make him think that it's because he is doing

something wrong or being " punished " c) just get him to agree to go, period.

> >

> > I don't think it will work well if just my husband and I sit him down and

tell him this at home, but then on the other hand, I'm not sure how well it will

work to do it at the therapist's office either. My other thought was to possibly

get his MD, psychiatrist, therapist, my husband and I together to do a " soft

intervention " of sorts. He does *not* like the psychiatrist, is so-so about the

therapist, but really likes his MD.

> >

> > Okay, now I'm thinking, maybe that would work. Maybe it could be just his

MD, my husband and I to introduce 's to him. Bottom line, I don't want him

to think he's being " punished, " that is a huge concern because he is so

sensitive, and especially because he is not capable of seeing or acknowledging

the severity of his condition or issues, and I'm afraid he will think he's being

sent to 's because of his Tourette's/tics, which is not the case.

> >

> > I also wonder, if we did do some type of " intervention " if it would be

better to have say his MD come to our house (if he would agree to), or to do it

at his office.

> >

> > The other issues is that last summer he went to a sleep-away camp in NC. He

had been the previous year and absolutely loved it, but his Tourette's and OCD

were not yet obvious or bothersome at that point. This past summer when he went

he was of course A LOT more functional and stable than he is now and his tics

were pretty minimal, his OCD was barely even on the radar. He ended up having to

come home halfway through because he said he hadn't slept for 2 days. Not

because of anything other than he started this cycle of obsessing about not

sleeping, and then couldn't sleep.

> > From there, he went into a week-long episode of what looked like nacrolepsy,

constantly falling into walls, laying around on the floor for hours, barely

functioning. Had him to dr., and to hospital to test for seizures, etc., but he

was all clear. We and the doctors chalked it up to exhaustion and left it at

that. Then, 3 weeks later, the same thing happened again, but it was much worse

the second time around. He has not had another episode since, however he still

talks about the " nightmare " at camp. He fixates SO much on things, that I have

no doubt he will immediately think of the camp " nightmare " when he finds out

he's going to be living away from home halfway across the country.

> >

> > I know, it's a very complicated situation, I have no idea how we're going to

do this. I can't even imagine how we'll get him packed, into the car and on the

airplane without having to tie him and gag him!!! Just kidding, of course, but

you know what I mean.

> >

> > Would love to hear any ideas you all might have.....

> >

> > Thanks!

> >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

, " seizure to leisure " - yeah, it's mind-blowing what OCD can do. Really

when 's been at his worst with his scrupe, I've wondered/worried how he

gets through it, have found myself checking on him (he'd be in his room) or

listening at a door. Luckily those moments are infrequent now.

Even with so close (cross fingers), are you going to try the abx too (re

Lyme) or just the Risperdal?

>

> Thanks, Chris. He actually does have chronic Lyme (and Herpes!), both of which

were diagnosed before the camp episode. Since those episodes, although he hasn't

gone into a full blown " narcolepsy-ike " episode, he did develop sort of a

residual " tic " which crops up now and then where he'll flop over and snore, or

just flop over. He's not passing out or anything of the sort, I honestly think

it's a tic/OCDish thing. Like when he sits down at the table to eat now he'll

take a few bites and then flop his head down almost in his plate!

>

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad to hear your son is doing better now. I know there is a light at the

end of the tunnel somewhere with my son, but it's a little pinhole at the

moment:)

I was going to do the antibiotics, but then had a long chat with the MD. He's a

holistic MD and therefore very conservative with meds, especially something like

Risperdal. We agreed that it was probably best not to introduce both antibiotics

and Risperdal at the same time, especially with him going to 's so soon (no

jinx!). The other thought was to wait and not doing anything until 's, but

with there being no guarantee about his admitting date, I didn't want to take

that chance.

They took about 15 vials of blood when I took my son to the MD's office on

Friday so he's running a lot of tests to see about where his Lyme and Herpes are

at, thyroid levels, vitamin/nutrient deficiencies, strep titers, and the list

goes on. Also wanted to see if anything shows up to indicate a possible reason

for the appetite decrease and weight loss.

So the MD agrees with the psychiatrist that Risperdal is the way to go for right

now. He said if it were his kid he'd be scared to death too, but given the

circumstances he wouldn't hesitate to try it. He also explained that it can

possibly serve as a diagnostic tool because if he responds favorably to it and

the symptoms lessen, then that gives us a little more information to go on.

It sounds like your son escaped most of the wraths of OCD without meds? That is

wonderful!

> , " seizure to leisure " - yeah, it's mind-blowing what OCD can do. Really

when 's been at his worst with his scrupe, I've wondered/worried how he

gets through it, have found myself checking on him (he'd be in his room) or

listening at a door. Luckily those moments are infrequent now.

>

> Even with so close (cross fingers), are you going to try the abx too

(re Lyme) or just the Risperdal?

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Thanks, Chris. He actually does have chronic Lyme (and Herpes!), both of

which were diagnosed before the camp episode. Since those episodes, although he

hasn't gone into a full blown " narcolepsy-ike " episode, he did develop sort of a

residual " tic " which crops up now and then where he'll flop over and snore, or

just flop over. He's not passing out or anything of the sort, I honestly think

it's a tic/OCDish thing. Like when he sits down at the table to eat now he'll

take a few bites and then flop his head down almost in his plate!

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

i have just come to your posts now, so do not know the full story, but hoping

you are going forward with help and treatment for your son, when you describe

some of his ticks/ behaviours it reminds me of my son, with the flopping down

and repeating words and phrases,as well as some words causing a lot of stress

that he cannot get out of his head..........i really hope you get to the

residential place soon, here we are slowly learning more ways to help, and he is

having weekly therapy, but some of the replies you have had here are making me

curious about the insect bites and infections setting this OCD off, im in the Uk

so not so much info on this here, and doctors I suspect would not be interested

in finding out, it was hard enough getting to see a therapist, and only starting

going every week since my son was also diagnosed with aspergers as well as

OCD........just wishing you the best of luck to get this sorted out and getting

your son the right help................as for telling him, i know my son would

be absolutely stressing/refusing to go/extremely worried too, and my feeling is

yes get help with the doctor to tell him, and as said explain that it is

not a punishment,that you are so worried and only want him to get well and that

he needs the docs to see him to help them decide how to treat him, much good

luck, maree

> > >

> > > Thanks, Chris. He actually does have chronic Lyme (and Herpes!), both of

which were diagnosed before the camp episode. Since those episodes, although he

hasn't gone into a full blown " narcolepsy-ike " episode, he did develop sort of a

residual " tic " which crops up now and then where he'll flop over and snore, or

just flop over. He's not passing out or anything of the sort, I honestly think

it's a tic/OCDish thing. Like when he sits down at the table to eat now he'll

take a few bites and then flop his head down almost in his plate!

> > >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

How are things going?????

>

> HI all,

>

> With 's HOPEFULLY being about 2+ weeks away, I would love to get

suggestions on what you feel might be the best way to introduce the whole

situation to my son. He's almost 16, however he's regressed to a very childlike

state in recent months with all of his behaviors, and has always been a very

sensitive child.

>

> Given the fact that he stresses and fixates on something that might happen an

hour from now, even something as simple as going to the store or even for a walk

outside, I can not imagine how he will react when he finds out that he's going

halfway across the country for a few months to live. The other BIG problem is

that he is so inside his head now that he honestly does not feel there is much

of a problem with his behaviors and lifestyle (i.e. urinating/defecating outside

of the bathroom; not taking showers, not brushing teeth, laying on floor for

hours, zero social life, etc.).

>

> I have wracked my brain on a daily basis and vacillate back and forth

constantly about the " best " or " right " way to tell him that will a)minimize the

stress/trauma to him not make him think that it's because he is doing

something wrong or being " punished " c) just get him to agree to go, period.

>

> I don't think it will work well if just my husband and I sit him down and tell

him this at home, but then on the other hand, I'm not sure how well it will work

to do it at the therapist's office either. My other thought was to possibly get

his MD, psychiatrist, therapist, my husband and I together to do a " soft

intervention " of sorts. He does *not* like the psychiatrist, is so-so about the

therapist, but really likes his MD.

>

> Okay, now I'm thinking, maybe that would work. Maybe it could be just his MD,

my husband and I to introduce 's to him. Bottom line, I don't want him to

think he's being " punished, " that is a huge concern because he is so sensitive,

and especially because he is not capable of seeing or acknowledging the severity

of his condition or issues, and I'm afraid he will think he's being sent to

's because of his Tourette's/tics, which is not the case.

>

> I also wonder, if we did do some type of " intervention " if it would be better

to have say his MD come to our house (if he would agree to), or to do it at his

office.

>

> The other issues is that last summer he went to a sleep-away camp in NC. He

had been the previous year and absolutely loved it, but his Tourette's and OCD

were not yet obvious or bothersome at that point. This past summer when he went

he was of course A LOT more functional and stable than he is now and his tics

were pretty minimal, his OCD was barely even on the radar. He ended up having to

come home halfway through because he said he hadn't slept for 2 days. Not

because of anything other than he started this cycle of obsessing about not

sleeping, and then couldn't sleep.

> From there, he went into a week-long episode of what looked like nacrolepsy,

constantly falling into walls, laying around on the floor for hours, barely

functioning. Had him to dr., and to hospital to test for seizures, etc., but he

was all clear. We and the doctors chalked it up to exhaustion and left it at

that. Then, 3 weeks later, the same thing happened again, but it was much worse

the second time around. He has not had another episode since, however he still

talks about the " nightmare " at camp. He fixates SO much on things, that I have

no doubt he will immediately think of the camp " nightmare " when he finds out

he's going to be living away from home halfway across the country.

>

> I know, it's a very complicated situation, I have no idea how we're going to

do this. I can't even imagine how we'll get him packed, into the car and on the

airplane without having to tie him and gag him!!! Just kidding, of course, but

you know what I mean.

>

> Would love to hear any ideas you all might have.....

>

> Thanks!

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son was very young his first time hospitilized. We told him we were going

to a meeting to see how we could help him. It was traumatic when we were

there. He has ocd and touretts as well.

We felt that telling him would make him rage worse and that his anxiety

would skyrocket.

Your son is older so he probably her would be better at understanding. I

would point out all the pros of going but would do it with the dr. On hand

in the event a crisis plan is needed!

Good luck and my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. Just know it

needs to be done and it is the best thing for him to recover from this

episode. Trust your heart!

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Re: Advice for getting son to 's

How are things going?????

>

> HI all,

>

> With 's HOPEFULLY being about 2+ weeks away, I would love to get

suggestions on what you feel might be the best way to introduce the whole

situation to my son. He's almost 16, however he's regressed to a very

childlike state in recent months with all of his behaviors, and has always

been a very sensitive child.

>

> Given the fact that he stresses and fixates on something that might happen

an hour from now, even something as simple as going to the store or even for

a walk outside, I can not imagine how he will react when he finds out that

he's going halfway across the country for a few months to live. The other

BIG problem is that he is so inside his head now that he honestly does not

feel there is much of a problem with his behaviors and lifestyle (i.e.

urinating/defecating outside of the bathroom; not taking showers, not

brushing teeth, laying on floor for hours, zero social life, etc.).

>

> I have wracked my brain on a daily basis and vacillate back and forth

constantly about the " best " or " right " way to tell him that will a)minimize

the stress/trauma to him not make him think that it's because he is doing

something wrong or being " punished " c) just get him to agree to go, period.

>

> I don't think it will work well if just my husband and I sit him down and

tell him this at home, but then on the other hand, I'm not sure how well