When OCD/germ fear targets a sibling

[Guest guest]

I am absolutely devastated by the turn of events our family has recently

endured, and I am looking for any kind of hope We have a close and loving

family, with of a 9 yo son, and a 12 yo daughter. My daughter has always been

cautious of germs, but it was almost always tongue in cheek, with her Purell

always on the standby. Several weeks ago, however, after a particularly

stressful period with school (so much homework!), she acutely and severely

worsened, and is now very much obsessed with germs. She demands everyone wash

their hands, is constantly asking about food expiration dates, etc. Most

distressingly, she has identified her 9 yo brother as a prime target of

contagion. She is doing whatever she can to avoid him, and seems relieved when

he is out of the house. Both kids only have each other, and there are really no

other kids on the block their age who they are friends with....so they have

really only had each other. That has always worked well, since they have always

been so close, but now there is a terrifying wall being put up, and I am very

frightened about my daughter's future, and sad for both her, and her brother,

who surely does not understand what is happening here.

I feel that this has been a few of the most catastrophic weeks of my life, and

am looking for a ray of hope. We have started with a psychologist, who seems

quite nice.....my daughter has only had one " get to know you " meeting so far.

When she had the meeting, she was off school, her stress was down, and her OCD

much, much better, so I'm not sure her psychologist had a fair sample of the

problem, at least on that visit. The psychologist does seem to be good with

kids, and she states that she is familiar with the CBT/ERP approach which seems

to be recommended by consensus.

Has anybody else had a similar problem with OCD, and particularly how it

affected a sibling/if the sibling was a focus of the fear? I would love any

kind of advice.

Thank you very much.

[Guest guest]

Hi there,

I am thinking you are new to our group, not sure, but welcome either way!

Sorry that your daughter's contamination fears have escalated so much and are

now affecting her relationship with your son. It is very confusing for both of

them I'm sure. Does your son have any understanding about OCD and how it works?

Do you have any books for younger children about OCD? We have a booklist in our

" Files " , to the left of the main page. A really good one is, What to do When

Your Brain Gets Stuck. It might help to empower him with the understanding of

OCD, and so he can also " help " when your daughter starts doing ERP, or at least

know better how to manage her.

Try to explain to your son that your daughter is very afraid because a " bully "

in her head is telling her all kinds of things to make her think he is not safe

for her to be around. Help him to understand that while this is not true, she

can't believe this or feel sure about anything. Maybe explain it as being like

a scary movie in her head that she can't turn off. It will be important to set

boundaries with your daughter around her behavior with your son.

We have only one child, so I don't have experience with the sibling issues. I

know many here do though, and I'm sure they will chime in with suggestions and

support on this.

Our son picked me as the contaminated one, think it's more than that actually,

still don't know the what of it, but he needs to keep his distance from me, no

hugs is the worst of it for me at this point. I deal with it by telling him it

is his responsibility to manage this, not me, and he is not allowed to insist on

what he feels he needs me to do - he's had 6 years to figure this out though,

not suggesting it is that simple for your daughter, just to plant the seed.

Also wanted to say, they seem to pick the person they are closest too, and feel

safest to take things out on with the OCD.

In terms of the future, it really is best to take one day at a time. You need

all your energy and focus just to deal with the day to day havoc the OCD can

bring. OCD is very treatable though, it takes time and perseverance, but know

that your daughter can learn how to manage this. You will wonder where your

child has gone, and if she will come back, but know that she is in there still

and just needs help to find her way with this.

Which leads me to treatment....So good to hear that you have secured someone and

that they are knowledgable about ERP/CBT. You are in a very good position! I

know that it may not feel like things are very good in your house right now, but

you have what you need to start shifting things, now it's a matter of time.

Hang in there and keep posting your questions and concerns. This is a great

group and I think you will find much understanding and support here.

Warmly,

Barb

Canada

Son, 20, OCD, LD Plus

>

> I am absolutely devastated by the turn of events our family has recently

endured, and I am looking for any kind of hope We have a close and loving

family, with of a 9 yo son, and a 12 yo daughter. My daughter has always been

cautious of germs, but it was almost always tongue in cheek, with her Purell

always on the standby. Several weeks ago, however, after a particularly

stressful period with school (so much homework!), she acutely and severely

worsened, and is now very much obsessed with germs. She demands everyone wash

their hands, is constantly asking about food expiration dates, etc. Most

distressingly, she has identified her 9 yo brother as a prime target of

contagion. She is doing whatever she can to avoid him, and seems relieved when

he is out of the house. Both kids only have each other, and there are really no

other kids on the block their age who they are friends with....so they have

really only had each other. That has always worked well, since they have always

been so close, but now there is a terrifying wall being put up, and I am very

frightened about my daughter's future, and sad for both her, and her brother,

who surely does not understand what is happening here.

>

> I feel that this has been a few of the most catastrophic weeks of my life, and

am looking for a ray of hope. We have started with a psychologist, who seems

quite nice.....my daughter has only had one " get to know you " meeting so far.

When she had the meeting, she was off school, her stress was down, and her OCD

much, much better, so I'm not sure her psychologist had a fair sample of the

problem, at least on that visit. The psychologist does seem to be good with

kids, and she states that she is familiar with the CBT/ERP approach which seems

to be recommended by consensus.

>

> Has anybody else had a similar problem with OCD, and particularly how it

affected a sibling/if the sibling was a focus of the fear? I would love any

kind of advice.

>

> Thank you very much.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi there,

I am thinking you are new to our group, not sure, but welcome either way!

Sorry that your daughter's contamination fears have escalated so much and are

now affecting her relationship with your son. It is very confusing for both of

them I'm sure. Does your son have any understanding about OCD and how it works?

Do you have any books for younger children about OCD? We have a booklist in our

" Files " , to the left of the main page. A really good one is, What to do When

Your Brain Gets Stuck. It might help to empower him with the understanding of

OCD, and so he can also " help " when your daughter starts doing ERP, or at least

know better how to manage her.

Try to explain to your son that your daughter is very afraid because a " bully "

in her head is telling her all kinds of things to make her think he is not safe

for her to be around. Help him to understand that while this is not true, she

can't believe this or feel sure about anything. Maybe explain it as being like

a scary movie in her head that she can't turn off. It will be important to set

boundaries with your daughter around her behavior with your son.

We have only one child, so I don't have experience with the sibling issues. I

know many here do though, and I'm sure they will chime in with suggestions and

support on this.

Our son picked me as the contaminated one, think it's more than that actually,

still don't know the what of it, but he needs to keep his distance from me, no

hugs is the worst of it for me at this point. I deal with it by telling him it

is his responsibility to manage this, not me, and he is not allowed to insist on

what he feels he needs me to do - he's had 6 years to figure this out though,

not suggesting it is that simple for your daughter, just to plant the seed.

Also wanted to say, they seem to pick the person they are closest too, and feel

safest to take things out on with the OCD.

In terms of the future, it really is best to take one day at a time. You need

all your energy and focus just to deal with the day to day havoc the OCD can

bring. OCD is very treatable though, it takes time and perseverance, but know

that your daughter can learn how to manage this. You will wonder where your

child has gone, and if she will come back, but know that she is in there still

and just needs help to find her way with this.

Which leads me to treatment....So good to hear that you have secured someone and

that they are knowledgable about ERP/CBT. You are in a very good position! I

know that it may not feel like things are very good in your house right now, but

you have what you need to start shifting things, now it's a matter of time.

Hang in there and keep posting your questions and concerns. This is a great

group and I think you will find much understanding and support here.

Warmly,

Barb

Canada

Son, 20, OCD, LD Plus

>

> I am absolutely devastated by the turn of events our family has recently

endured, and I am looking for any kind of hope We have a close and loving

family, with of a 9 yo son, and a 12 yo daughter. My daughter has always been

cautious of germs, but it was almost always tongue in cheek, with her Purell

always on the standby. Several weeks ago, however, after a particularly

stressful period with school (so much homework!), she acutely and severely

worsened, and is now very much obsessed with germs. She demands everyone wash

their hands, is constantly asking about food expiration dates, etc. Most

distressingly, she has identified her 9 yo brother as a prime target of

contagion. She is doing whatever she can to avoid him, and seems relieved when

he is out of the house. Both kids only have each other, and there are really no

other kids on the block their age who they are friends with....so they have

really only had each other. That has always worked well, since they have always

been so close, but now there is a terrifying wall being put up, and I am very

frightened about my daughter's future, and sad for both her, and her brother,

who surely does not understand what is happening here.

>

> I feel that this has been a few of the most catastrophic weeks of my life, and

am looking for a ray of hope. We have started with a psychologist, who seems

quite nice.....my daughter has only had one " get to know you " meeting so far.

When she had the meeting, she was off school, her stress was down, and her OCD

much, much better, so I'm not sure her psychologist had a fair sample of the

problem, at least on that visit. The psychologist does seem to be good with

kids, and she states that she is familiar with the CBT/ERP approach which seems

to be recommended by consensus.

>

> Has anybody else had a similar problem with OCD, and particularly how it

affected a sibling/if the sibling was a focus of the fear? I would love any

kind of advice.

>

> Thank you very much.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi! First of all, I'm really sorry that you are having a tough time right now,

but I want to reassure you that this can be turned around really well with a

specific form of treatment, i.e. ERP. At this point in time, just about any

therapist will claim that they do CBT, but you need one who fairly early on will

make a hierarchy of your child's fears and help your child work through them

through planned exposures. I have fought severe OCD my whole life, mainly

around contamination fears like your daughter's, and both my 12 year old twins

have OCD as well. The only treatment that has worked is when we have done these

planned exposures with a therapist who really knows and is experienced in

treating OCD in this way. What works for these kids is to understand that they

are being " bossed " by OCD, which many children's OCD therapists have them name

and sometimes even draw out how they imagine this " boss " would look like, and

then to figure out the different obsessive fears that are making their lives

miserable and slowly tackling each one with planned exposures and homework to

continue this at home between sessions. For your daughter, this could include

having your son come to the therapy session and sitting with him nearby and

having him move closer throughout the session and seeing that the anxiety about

it goes down.

All of this is just to say that as hard as you are having it right now, it can

be back to the way it was before this " crisis " . If your daughter's belief in

her thoughts are so strong that she can't comply with the ERP, medication may be

the best help to enable her to succeed. For each of my children and for myself,

that was key. I'd be happy to speak with you by phone, if you'd like. You can

email me privately and give me your ph. number, and I can give you a call if you

think it would help.

Hang in there!

When OCD/germ fear targets a sibling

I am absolutely devastated by the turn of events our family has recently

endured, and I am looking for any kind of hope We have a close and loving

family, with of a 9 yo son, and a 12 yo daughter. My daughter has always been

cautious of germs, but it was almost always tongue in cheek, with her Purell

always on the standby. Several weeks ago, however, after a particularly

stressful period with school (so much homework!), she acutely and severely

worsened, and is now very much obsessed with germs. She demands everyone wash

their hands, is constantly asking about food expiration dates, etc. Most

distressingly, she has identified her 9 yo brother as a prime target of

contagion. She is doing whatever she can to avoid him, and seems relieved when

he is out of the house. Both kids only have each other, and there are really no

other kids on the block their age who they are friends with....so they have

really only had each other. That has always worked well, since they have

always been so close, but now there is a terrifying wall being put up, and I am

very frightened about my daughter's future, and sad for both her, and her

brother, who surely does not understand what is happening here.

I feel that this has been a few of the most catastrophic weeks of my life, and

am looking for a ray of hope. We have started with a psychologist, who seems

quite nice.....my daughter has only had one " get to know you " meeting so far.

When she had the meeting, she was off school, her stress was down, and her OCD

much, much better, so I'm not sure her psychologist had a fair sample of the

problem, at least on that visit. The psychologist does seem to be good with

kids, and she states that she is familiar with the CBT/ERP approach which seems

to be recommended by consensus.

Has anybody else had a similar problem with OCD, and particularly how it

affected a sibling/if the sibling was a focus of the fear? I would love any

kind of advice.

Thank you very much.

[Guest guest]

Hi! First of all, I'm really sorry that you are having a tough time right now,

but I want to reassure you that this can be turned around really well with a

specific form of treatment, i.e. ERP. At this point in time, just about any

therapist will claim that they do CBT, but you need one who fairly early on will

make a hierarchy of your child's fears and help your child work through them

through planned exposures. I have fought severe OCD my whole life, mainly

around contamination fears like your daughter's, and both my 12 year old twins

have OCD as well. The only treatment that has worked is when we have done these

planned exposures with a therapist who really knows and is experienced in

treating OCD in this way. What works for these kids is to understand that they

are being " bossed " by OCD, which many children's OCD therapists have them name

and sometimes even draw out how they imagine this " boss " would look like, and

then to figure out the different obsessive fears that are making their lives

miserable and slowly tackling each one with planned exposures and homework to

continue this at home between sessions. For your daughter, this could include

having your son come to the therapy session and sitting with him nearby and

having him move closer throughout the session and seeing that the anxiety about

it goes down.

All of this is just to say that as hard as you are having it right now, it can

be back to the way it was before this " crisis " . If your daughter's belief in

her thoughts are so strong that she can't comply with the ERP, medication may be

the best help to enable her to succeed. For each of my children and for myself,

that was key. I'd be happy to speak with you by phone, if you'd like. You can

email me privately and give me your ph. number, and I can give you a call if you

think it would help.

Hang in there!

When OCD/germ fear targets a sibling

I am absolutely devastated by the turn of events our family has recently

endured, and I am looking for any kind of hope We have a close and loving

family, with of a 9 yo son, and a 12 yo daughter. My daughter has always been

cautious of germs, but it was almost always tongue in cheek, with her Purell

always on the standby. Several weeks ago, however, after a particularly

stressful period with school (so much homework!), she acutely and severely

worsened, and is now very much obsessed with germs. She demands everyone wash

their hands, is constantly asking about food expiration dates, etc. Most

distressingly, she has identified her 9 yo brother as a prime target of

contagion. She is doing whatever she can to avoid him, and seems relieved when

he is out of the house. Both kids only have each other, and there are really no

other kids on the block their age who they are friends with....so they have

really only had each other. That has always worked well, since they have

always been so close, but now there is a terrifying wall being put up, and I am

very frightened about my daughter's future, and sad for both her, and her

brother, who surely does not understand what is happening here.

I feel that this has been a few of the most catastrophic weeks of my life, and

am looking for a ray of hope. We have started with a psychologist, who seems

quite nice.....my daughter has only had one " get to know you " meeting so far.

When she had the meeting, she was off school, her stress was down, and her OCD

much, much better, so I'm not sure her psychologist had a fair sample of the

problem, at least on that visit. The psychologist does seem to be good with

kids, and she states that she is familiar with the CBT/ERP approach which seems

to be recommended by consensus.

Has anybody else had a similar problem with OCD, and particularly how it

affected a sibling/if the sibling was a focus of the fear? I would love any

kind of advice.

Thank you very much.

[Guest guest]

We had a similar problem with our 9-year old son when his OCD first surfaced,

but his target wasn't his sibling, it was me (his mother). Almost overnight, he

didn't want me to touch his bed, he wouldn't touch any of my clothing, wouldn't

sit near me, etc. He said that he loved me, but that he just couldn't " breathe

in " or relax when he was around me. Devastated does not BEGIN to describe how I

felt. Even after his therapist determined that it was OCD, it still didn't take

away the hurt I felt.

You asked what you can do to make things ok between your children, and I can

tell you that we decided not to address the mom/son issue directly in his OCD

treatment. There were other symptoms and triggers, too (this was just the most

devastating of them) so the therapist tackled the others, one at a time, with

ERP. By the time our son finished three months of therapy, he was snuggling up

to me again...all contamination issues were gone.

I think the GOOD thing about OCD (and there are so few good things!) is that the

treatment for one symptom is really the same as the treatment for all of them.

I may not be saying that correctly, but what I mean is that once your child

learns the tools for handling one troubling thought or behavior, they can use

that same set of tools for tackling the next, and the next. When I look back on

it, I think the best thing I did was to keep my distance (as much as I could,

even though my heart was breaking) so that my son could work through his OCD

treatment without feeling the guilt that my hurt look would probably cause him.

It WILL get better. One more thing...his therapist told me that in a very weird

way, his OCD was actually paying me a compliment. OCD tends to attack whatever

the child loves most or feels most passionately about (if the child is

religious, OCD will tell him he hates God, etc.) so if OCD is targeting your

child's sibling, that is really a testament to how much your child loves and

cares about the sibling. Their relationship is stronger than this disease. You

have to have faith in that, even though it's difficult right now.

Hope that helps a little.

[Guest guest]

We had a similar problem with our 9-year old son when his OCD first surfaced,

but his target wasn't his sibling, it was me (his mother). Almost overnight, he

didn't want me to touch his bed, he wouldn't touch any of my clothing, wouldn't

sit near me, etc. He said that he loved me, but that he just couldn't " breathe

in " or relax when he was around me. Devastated does not BEGIN to describe how I

felt. Even after his therapist determined that it was OCD, it still didn't take

away the hurt I felt.

You asked what you can do to make things ok between your children, and I can

tell you that we decided not to address the mom/son issue directly in his OCD

treatment. There were other symptoms and triggers, too (this was just the most

devastating of them) so the therapist tackled the others, one at a time, with

ERP. By the time our son finished three months of therapy, he was snuggling up

to me again...all contamination issues were gone.

I think the GOOD thing about OCD (and there are so few good things!) is that the

treatment for one symptom is really the same as the treatment for all of them.

I may not be saying that correctly, but what I mean is that once your child

learns the tools for handling one troubling thought or behavior, they can use

that same set of tools for tackling the next, and the next. When I look back on

it, I think the best thing I did was to keep my distance (as much as I could,

even though my heart was breaking) so that my son could work through his OCD

treatment without feeling the guilt that my hurt look would probably cause him.

It WILL get better. One more thing...his therapist told me that in a very weird

way, his OCD was actually paying me a compliment. OCD tends to attack whatever

the child loves most or feels most passionately about (if the child is

religious, OCD will tell him he hates God, etc.) so if OCD is targeting your

child's sibling, that is really a testament to how much your child loves and

cares about the sibling. Their relationship is stronger than this disease. You

have to have faith in that, even though it's difficult right now.

Hope that helps a little.

[Guest guest]

Hi, this is my first post, though I've been reading for awhile.

We have a similar situation but with the added twist that the siblings are 8 yr

old fraternal twins, one girl, one boy. It was my dd that began exhibiting

strong signs of OCD this past October, probably not coincidentally in

conjunction with a stressful start of school. She targeted her brother as the

original source of contamination, but it soon spread to her father and 2 regular

babysitters as well.

While of course ds did not give dd the OCD, he probably did add to the stress

because he loves to chatter and she has some sensory integration issues. I think

his chattering, especially in the mornings, felt like a sensory bombardment to

her. While ds seems more extroverted, he has always been more emotionally

attached to her than she to him.

In any case, after a couple months of utter chaos, bewilderment and panic (we

have no family history of OCD so it took us awhile to figure out what was going

on), our pediatrician pointed us to a therapist with CBT experience. He

recommended the book " What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck " (approx title),

which others here have also recommended.

At its worst in December (Christmas was hell), dd would have nothing to do with

ds or dh or babysitters or grandmother. She holed up in my bedroom whenever she

was at home and no one but me was allowed in. She did her homework there, ate

there, used the bathroom there (and refused to flush), but would go back to

their bedroom to sleep - but only after ds was asleep. Then in the morning, she

was out of there like a shot. If there were any " transgressions " , there was

extreme anxiety, tears, screaming, etc. Needless to say, ds was confused and

hurt.

At school, she was fine, even though they are in the same class. Not that she

would play with him there, but it was ok that he was in the same room because

she had other friends there that could distract her from OCD thoughts. Joint

playdates were ok too. OCD is a peculiar animal. I guess if it were rational, it

wouldn't be OCD!

During Christmas break, we did manage to get dd to read the OCD/CBT book once

through. After that, dd did not want to talk about it. She would get very angry

when we tried to talk about it. Claimed it made things worse. My dh and ds read

the book together. That gave my very analytical ds something to latch onto. We

emphasized that it wasn't his fault, though we did have to work on modifying his

triggering behaviors (which, besides chattering, included typical boy physical

assertiveness - getting in her face, etc).

Meanwhile, 2 things were occurring with dd. Although she didn't want to talk

about it, all the talking *at* her about OCD by us and the therapist seemed to

give her enough tools to start tackling some of the issues by herself. Doing it

herself is consistent with her core personality.

The other thing was the iPad my dh got from work. We only have one and the video

games were a big draw to both dd and ds. She managed to carve out another OCD

exception and would allow ds to help/teach her with new games that we

downloaded. That was the big toe in the door towards getting better - she's not

on any medication.

Today, 7 months after it all began, things are a lot better. Dd now eats with

the family again in the kitchen; usually does homework in the same room with ds

again; plays with ds, dh and babysitters again; goes thru bedtime prep with ds

in the same room and stays there in the morning to get ready for school; and of

course, continues to play videogames with ds.

She still doesn't want anyone to enter my bedroom (although just this week, she

let ds in for about 30 minutes to help her complete a level of a video game on

my laptop). She still doesn't want her bookbag to touch his or use the hairbrush

that one of the babysitters touched. Her bed is still strictly off-limits to ds.

We still go to the expensive therapist. Her symptoms flare again if she's really

tired.

But her anxiety levels are way down, even when a transgression does occur. It's

getting harder to distinguish an OCD symptom from a within-normal sibling

rivalry issue. While I don't know that the OCD will ever go away completely, my

dd is at least 85% back and we can't complain.

We do, however, have to watch our ds. Now that his sister is nearly back to

normal, his chattering and physical assertiveness are increasing too.

Hang in there,

ine

>

> I am absolutely devastated by the turn of events our family has recently

endured, and I am looking for any kind of hope We have a close and loving

family, with of a 9 yo son, and a 12 yo daughter. My daughter has always been

cautious of germs, but it was almost always tongue in cheek, with her Purell

always on the standby. Several weeks ago, however, after a particularly

stressful period with school (so much homework!), she acutely and severely

worsened, and is now very much obsessed with germs. She demands everyone wash

their hands, is constantly asking about food expiration dates, etc. Most

distressingly, she has identified her 9 yo brother as a prime target of

contagion. She is doing whatever she can to avoid him, and seems relieved when

he is out of the house. Both kids only have each other, and there are really no

other kids on the block their age who they are friends with....so they have

really only had each other. That has always worked well, since they have always

been so close, but now there is a terrifying wall being put up, and I am very

frightened about my daughter's future, and sad for both her, and her brother,

who surely does not understand what is happening here.

>

> I feel that this has been a few of the most catastrophic weeks of my life, and

am looking for a ray of hope. We have started with a psychologist, who seems

quite nice.....my daughter has only had one " get to know you " meeting so far.

When she had the meeting, she was off school, her stress was down, and her OCD

much, much better, so I'm not sure her psychologist had a fair sample of the

problem, at least on that visit. The psychologist does seem to be good with

kids, and she states that she is familiar with the CBT/ERP approach which seems

to be recommended by consensus.

>

> Has anybody else had a similar problem with OCD, and particularly how it

affected a sibling/if the sibling was a focus of the fear? I would love any

kind of advice.

>

> Thank you very much.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, this is my first post, though I've been reading for awhile.

We have a similar situation but with the added twist that the siblings are 8 yr

old fraternal twins, one girl, one boy. It was my dd that began exhibiting

strong signs of OCD this past October, probably not coincidentally in

conjunction with a stressful start of school. She targeted her brother as the

original source of contamination, but it soon spread to her father and 2 regular

babysitters as well.

While of course ds did not give dd the OCD, he probably did add to the stress

because he loves to chatter and she has some sensory integration issues. I think

his chattering, especially in the mornings, felt like a sensory bombardment to

her. While ds seems more extroverted, he has always been more emotionally

attached to her than she to him.

In any case, after a couple months of utter chaos, bewilderment and panic (we

have no family history of OCD so it took us awhile to figure out what was going

on), our pediatrician pointed us to a therapist with CBT experience. He

recommended the book " What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck " (approx title),

which others here have also recommended.

At its worst in December (Christmas was hell), dd would have nothing to do with

ds or dh or babysitters or grandmother. She holed up in my bedroom whenever she

was at home and no one but me was allowed in. She did her homework there, ate

there, used the bathroom there (and refused to flush), but would go back to

their bedroom to sleep - but only after ds was asleep. Then in the morning, she

was out of there like a shot. If there were any " transgressions " , there was

extreme anxiety, tears, screaming, etc. Needless to say, ds was confused and

hurt.

At school, she was fine, even though they are in the same class. Not that she

would play with him there, but it was ok that he was in the same room because

she had other friends there that could distract her from OCD thoughts. Joint

playdates were ok too. OCD is a peculiar animal. I guess if it were rational, it

wouldn't be OCD!

During Christmas break, we did manage to get dd to read the OCD/CBT book once

through. After that, dd did not want to talk about it. She would get very angry

when we tried to talk about it. Claimed it made things worse. My dh and ds read

the book together. That gave my very analytical ds something to latch onto. We

emphasized that it wasn't his fault, though we did have to work on modifying his

triggering behaviors (which, besides chattering, included typical boy physical

assertiveness - getting in her face, etc).

Meanwhile, 2 things were occurring with dd. Although she didn't want to talk

about it, all the talking *at* her about OCD by us and the therapist seemed to

give her enough tools to start tackling some of the issues by herself. Doing it

herself is consistent with her core personality.

The other thing was the iPad my dh got from work. We only have one and the video

games were a big draw to both dd and ds. She managed to carve out another OCD

exception and would allow ds to help/teach her with new games that we

downloaded. That was the big toe in the door towards getting better - she's not

on any medication.

Today, 7 months after it all began, things are a lot better. Dd now eats with

the family again in the kitchen; usually does homework in the same room with ds

again; plays with ds, dh and babysitters again; goes thru bedtime prep with ds

in the same room and stays there in the morning to get ready for school; and of

course, continues to play videogames with ds.

She still doesn't want anyone to enter my bedroom (although just this week, she

let ds in for about 30 minutes to help her complete a level of a video game on

my laptop). She still doesn't want her bookbag to touch his or use the hairbrush

that one of the babysitters touched. Her bed is still strictly off-limits to ds.

We still go to the expensive therapist. Her symptoms flare again if she's really

tired.

But her anxiety levels are way down, even when a transgression does occur. It's

getting harder to distinguish an OCD symptom from a within-normal sibling

rivalry issue. While I don't know that the OCD will ever go away completely, my

dd is at least 85% back and we can't complain.

We do, however, have to watch our ds. Now that his sister is nearly back to

normal, his chattering and physical assertiveness are increasing too.

Hang in there,

ine

>

> I am absolutely devastated by the turn of events our family has recently

endured, and I am looking for any kind of hope We have a close and loving

family, with of a 9 yo son, and a 12 yo daughter. My daughter has always been

cautious of germs, but it was almost always tongue in cheek, with her Purell

always on the standby. Several weeks ago, however, after a particularly

stressful period with school (so much homework!), she acutely and severely

worsened, and is now very much obsessed with germs. She demands everyone wash

their hands, is constantly asking about food expiration dates, etc. Most

distressingly, she has identified her 9 yo brother as a prime target of

contagion. She is doing whatever she can to avoid him, and seems relieved when

he is out of the house. Both kids only have each other, and there are really no

other kids on the block their age who they are friends with....so they have

really only had each other. That has always worked well, since they have always

been so close, but now there is a terrifying wall being put up, and I am very

frightened about my daughter's future, and sad for both her, and her brother,

who surely does not understand what is happening here.

>

> I feel that this has been a few of the most catastrophic weeks of my life, and

am looking for a ray of hope. We have started with a psychologist, who seems

quite nice.....my daughter has only had one " get to know you " meeting so far.

When she had the meeting, she was off school, her stress was down, and her OCD

much, much better, so I'm not sure her psychologist had a fair sample of the

problem, at least on that visit. The psychologist does seem to be good with

kids, and she states that she is familiar with the CBT/ERP approach which seems

to be recommended by consensus.

>

> Has anybody else had a similar problem with OCD, and particularly how it

affected a sibling/if the sibling was a focus of the fear? I would love any

kind of advice.

>

> Thank you very much.

>