school situation and therapy

March 21, 2012

Hi there. I haven't posted in awhile. Ds, now 12, has been in a small,

supportive school this year where he's made a lot of progress. But, he's

had difficulty with his main teacher. He feels she badgers him and can be

insensitive. It got to the point where he was being defiant and backtalking

today. He doesn't want to go to her classes tomorrow.

I am very disappointed with his therapist's response to this. He basically

said that since the teacher won't change, ds has to learn to handle his

emotional responses. He is good pals with ds and was very gentle about it.

But it wasn't something that ds needed to hear in the midst of feeling so

overwhelmed right now. We will get to this in good time, but for now he

needs some relief from the stress trigger.

I've noticed the therapist lately heading in this sort of direction with

ds. It's a shame, since ds is getting into that preteen stage where he

wants to make a good impression on role models( like this therapist). He's

feeling more self conscious about sharing his feelings. He needs to be able

to trust the therapist, or he will not be able to open up and make

therapeutic progress. And he does have major trust issues, the core of his

anxiety in many ways.

Seems like another therapist gone wrong. I know, maybe we need to consider

whether it's us and not them. But you know how hard it can be to find the

right therapeutic match. All I know is that whenever I've ignored my

instincts, things have gotten worse for ds. It seems that goals are chosen

randomly as situations come up, rather than ranked and prioritized.

Ds' reached a point where he'd rather get into trouble, rather than deal

with the way in which the teacher is making him feel on a routine basis. I

can see the seeds of the obsessiveness starting. All these stressors effect

structural changes in the brain. The triggers need to be brought under

control. My child is not a psychology experiment. It really ticks me off

when people inadvertently turn him into one.

Anyway, I am taking this up with the school. Just really stinks about the

therapist.

Fay

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