Re: Joni - Erp

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son's OCD was mainly sexual in nature. He often yell out " bad thought. " He

also got into a time where he washed his hands, elbows, and feet a lot. Then,

there were the multiple showers a day and the insistence that I wash his sheets

and blankets be became convinced were contaminated with sexual material. Yet

another compulsion he did was to " check " his body for sexual secretions. He

would often run into the bathroom to " check. " What he did during this

compulsion I was never sure because he did this one behind closed doors.

My son managed to go to school during the worst times of his OCD, but it was far

from easy. He had several problems at school with his constant washing and with

being late to classes because he would often stop into the bathroom to wash.

Also, his teachers would be on his case because he often didn't turn in homework

- I think his obsessions were so strong that he couldn't pay attention and

therefore, wouldn't hear what the teachers were saying. He also wasn't able to

join any extracurricular activities because the OCD was too strong. Overall,

high school was not a great experience for him, but we have long ago decided not

to look back but to move forward as best we can.

How much to reward the ERP is a difficult question - each kid has a different

amount that will get their attention. I know that for us, an hourly rate didn't

work. And, a per exposure rate also didn't work - I tried these approaches and

they failed. Not to say that these approaches wouldn't work for your son; it

just didn't for us. At one time I tried tying a weekly allowance into ERP - also

failed. What finally worked for us was a lump sum for each ERP session, which

was usually two weeks in length but sometimes shorter. It sounds like your son

is interested in a new laptop computer - could you try tying the ERP into that -

for example, plan on several weekends where you can work on the ERP for both

days? After a certain number of these weekends than he could have enough for

the laptop.

Also, in our experience it took these " sessions " of constant exposures before I

saw real improvement. Before that, we had tried smaller exposures that were

drawn out over a longer period. It just never seemed to work. We needed to do

the exposures in a repeated and constant fashion. Maybe it was like we needed

several " sparks " before we could get a good fire (ie, effective ERP) going.

Hope this helps,

Joni

>

[Guest guest]

Joni -

thanks again for writing this out. You have come a long way and it's amazing to

see how you hung in there! It's very encouraging to me to see all your ups and

downs, because we have had so many and after awhile it's hard to get back up. I

think you have covered all the bases for me as far as details and seeing how it

works with another teenage boy. They seem to be a little different than younger

children. I can study this now and come up with a plan. You have given me some

great ideas. Thanks again!!

Rhonda

Re: Joni - Erp

Hello,

My son's OCD was mainly sexual in nature. He often yell out " bad thought. " He

also got into a time where he washed his hands, elbows, and feet a lot. Then,

there were the multiple showers a day and the insistence that I wash his sheets

and blankets be became convinced were contaminated with sexual material. Yet

another compulsion he did was to " check " his body for sexual secretions. He

would often run into the bathroom to " check. " What he did during this compulsion

I was never sure because he did this one behind closed doors.

My son managed to go to school during the worst times of his OCD, but it was

far from easy. He had several problems at school with his constant washing and

with being late to classes because he would often stop into the bathroom to

wash. Also, his teachers would be on his case because he often didn't turn in

homework - I think his obsessions were so strong that he couldn't pay attention

and therefore, wouldn't hear what the teachers were saying. He also wasn't able

to join any extracurricular activities because the OCD was too strong. Overall,

high school was not a great experience for him, but we have long ago decided not

to look back but to move forward as best we can.

How much to reward the ERP is a difficult question - each kid has a different

amount that will get their attention. I know that for us, an hourly rate didn't

work. And, a per exposure rate also didn't work - I tried these approaches and

they failed. Not to say that these approaches wouldn't work for your son; it

just didn't for us. At one time I tried tying a weekly allowance into ERP - also

failed. What finally worked for us was a lump sum for each ERP session, which

was usually two weeks in length but sometimes shorter. It sounds like your son

is interested in a new laptop computer - could you try tying the ERP into that -

for example, plan on several weekends where you can work on the ERP for both

days? After a certain number of these weekends than he could have enough for the

laptop.

Also, in our experience it took these " sessions " of constant exposures before

I saw real improvement. Before that, we had tried smaller exposures that were

drawn out over a longer period. It just never seemed to work. We needed to do

the exposures in a repeated and constant fashion. Maybe it was like we needed

several " sparks " before we could get a good fire (ie, effective ERP) going.

Hope this helps,

Joni

>

[Guest guest]

Joni -

thanks again for writing this out. You have come a long way and it's amazing to

see how you hung in there! It's very encouraging to me to see all your ups and

downs, because we have had so many and after awhile it's hard to get back up. I

think you have covered all the bases for me as far as details and seeing how it

works with another teenage boy. They seem to be a little different than younger

children. I can study this now and come up with a plan. You have given me some

great ideas. Thanks again!!

Rhonda

Re: Joni - Erp

Hello,

My son's OCD was mainly sexual in nature. He often yell out " bad thought. " He

also got into a time where he washed his hands, elbows, and feet a lot. Then,

there were the multiple showers a day and the insistence that I wash his sheets

and blankets be became convinced were contaminated with sexual material. Yet

another compulsion he did was to " check " his body for sexual secretions. He

would often run into the bathroom to " check. " What he did during this compulsion

I was never sure because he did this one behind closed doors.

My son managed to go to school during the worst times of his OCD, but it was

far from easy. He had several problems at school with his constant washing and

with being late to classes because he would often stop into the bathroom to

wash. Also, his teachers would be on his case because he often didn't turn in

homework - I think his obsessions were so strong that he couldn't pay attention

and therefore, wouldn't hear what the teachers were saying. He also wasn't able

to join any extracurricular activities because the OCD was too strong. Overall,

high school was not a great experience for him, but we have long ago decided not

to look back but to move forward as best we can.

How much to reward the ERP is a difficult question - each kid has a different

amount that will get their attention. I know that for us, an hourly rate didn't

work. And, a per exposure rate also didn't work - I tried these approaches and

they failed. Not to say that these approaches wouldn't work for your son; it

just didn't for us. At one time I tried tying a weekly allowance into ERP - also

failed. What finally worked for us was a lump sum for each ERP session, which

was usually two weeks in length but sometimes shorter. It sounds like your son

is interested in a new laptop computer - could you try tying the ERP into that -

for example, plan on several weekends where you can work on the ERP for both

days? After a certain number of these weekends than he could have enough for the

laptop.

Also, in our experience it took these " sessions " of constant exposures before

I saw real improvement. Before that, we had tried smaller exposures that were

drawn out over a longer period. It just never seemed to work. We needed to do

the exposures in a repeated and constant fashion. Maybe it was like we needed

several " sparks " before we could get a good fire (ie, effective ERP) going.

Hope this helps,

Joni

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

Your are very welcome and don't hesitate to fire off any additional thoughts or

questions you have. Please keep us up to date on how's going with your son. I

don't if this would help your son but my son did write a book about his

experience with OCD (with me as editor - we self-published) - The Ray of Hope:

A Teenager's Fight Against Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It's mainly a book

for teenagers with OCD written by one who has it. I hope it's appropriate to

mention it here - I just kept thinking about it might help with your situation.

Best,

Joni

>

> Joni -

>

> thanks again for writing this out. You have come a long way and it's amazing

to see how you hung in there! It's very encouraging to me to see all your ups

and downs, because we have had so many and after awhile it's hard to get back

up. I\

[Guest guest]

Hi Joni

Also wondered if you ever used meds or supplements, etc. Could you describe how

you saw the improvement --- if you know what I mean. I'd love to know what to

look for. Did you keep washing sheets until his obsession improved? I mean, how

did you ease up on the family support?

I've made it through 3 books on OCD by now but it's all about " working with a

therapist " or else doing it for yourself, not working with your own child.

That's why I'm so grateful for all the detail you're sharing!!

Rhonda

Re: Joni - Erp

Hello,

My son's OCD was mainly sexual in nature. He often yell out " bad thought. " He

also got into a time where he washed his hands, elbows, and feet a lot. Then,

there were the multiple showers a day and the insistence that I wash his sheets

and blankets be became convinced were contaminated with sexual material. Yet

another compulsion he did was to " check " his body for sexual secretions. He

would often run into the bathroom to " check. " What he did during this compulsion

I was never sure because he did this one behind closed doors.

My son managed to go to school during the worst times of his OCD, but it was

far from easy. He had several problems at school with his constant washing and

with being late to classes because he would often stop into the bathroom to

wash. Also, his teachers would be on his case because he often didn't turn in

homework - I think his obsessions were so strong that he couldn't pay attention

and therefore, wouldn't hear what the teachers were saying. He also wasn't able

to join any extracurricular activities because the OCD was too strong. Overall,

high school was not a great experience for him, but we have long ago decided not

to look back but to move forward as best we can.

How much to reward the ERP is a difficult question - each kid has a different

amount that will get their attention. I know that for us, an hourly rate didn't

work. And, a per exposure rate also didn't work - I tried these approaches and

they failed. Not to say that these approaches wouldn't work for your son; it

just didn't for us. At one time I tried tying a weekly allowance into ERP - also

failed. What finally worked for us was a lump sum for each ERP session, which

was usually two weeks in length but sometimes shorter. It sounds like your son

is interested in a new laptop computer - could you try tying the ERP into that -

for example, plan on several weekends where you can work on the ERP for both

days? After a certain number of these weekends than he could have enough for the

laptop.

Also, in our experience it took these " sessions " of constant exposures before

I saw real improvement. Before that, we had tried smaller exposures that were

drawn out over a longer period. It just never seemed to work. We needed to do

the exposures in a repeated and constant fashion. Maybe it was like we needed

several " sparks " before we could get a good fire (ie, effective ERP) going.

Hope this helps,

Joni

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son was initially given Prozac and was then switched to Zoloft. He did get

some minor relief from his symptoms but I wouldn't say it was much. We never

tried any supplements. After doing all that ERP, we realized that it was the

ERP that had helped him the most so we decided to see if he could come off all

meds. He did and now he hasn't taken anything for about 1 1/2 years. I know

that others have had much better response to medication than my son.

After his first ERP session of two weeks (Christmas break), it was obvious to me

that he was better. In fact, I was shocked - I guess I hadn't dared to hope

that this would work, but it did. I could tell he was better because he stopped

his elbow and feet washing. He continued to wash his hands but it was less. I

also noticed that a lot of the smaller symptoms had melted away even though we

hadn't targeted them. Also, he was more relaxed and calm. It was like he not

as vigilant about what was going on around him. Not every session worked as

well as this first one, but most of them did.

As far as enabling the OCD, I think we parents have to do some, just to keep our

kids going. I know that if I hadn't than my son would have completely stopped

functioning. But, when we started with ERP, I started to really limit what I

did with regards to his OCD. This is not always easy to do or to decide what you

should keep doing or not.

Best,

Joni

>

> Hi Joni

>

> Also wondered if you ever used meds or supplements, etc. Could you describe

how you saw the improvement --- if you know what I mean. I'd love to know what

to look for. Did you keep washing sheets until his obsession improved? I mean,

how did you ease up on the family support?

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son was initially given Prozac and was then switched to Zoloft. He did get

some minor relief from his symptoms but I wouldn't say it was much. We never

tried any supplements. After doing all that ERP, we realized that it was the

ERP that had helped him the most so we decided to see if he could come off all

meds. He did and now he hasn't taken anything for about 1 1/2 years. I know

that others have had much better response to medication than my son.

After his first ERP session of two weeks (Christmas break), it was obvious to me

that he was better. In fact, I was shocked - I guess I hadn't dared to hope

that this would work, but it did. I could tell he was better because he stopped

his elbow and feet washing. He continued to wash his hands but it was less. I

also noticed that a lot of the smaller symptoms had melted away even though we

hadn't targeted them. Also, he was more relaxed and calm. It was like he not

as vigilant about what was going on around him. Not every session worked as

well as this first one, but most of them did.

As far as enabling the OCD, I think we parents have to do some, just to keep our

kids going. I know that if I hadn't than my son would have completely stopped

functioning. But, when we started with ERP, I started to really limit what I

did with regards to his OCD. This is not always easy to do or to decide what you

should keep doing or not.

Best,

Joni

>

> Hi Joni

>

> Also wondered if you ever used meds or supplements, etc. Could you describe

how you saw the improvement --- if you know what I mean. I'd love to know what

to look for. Did you keep washing sheets until his obsession improved? I mean,

how did you ease up on the family support?