Re: Mom is feeling fearful

[Guest guest]

Oh Pam, hate to hear this! Since summer went so well (Yay!), wonder what it is

since school began. No problem/arguments about medication over the summer?

Are any of the supports at school sort of " obvious " to the class so that she

stands out? I worried about that with . Wonder if that could be the

problem or if some student commented or something. Is is just a small school or

a " specialized " type for those who need it? If the latter, would think they all

had some type supports....

Sigh, well no help with the medication. You know refuses and all my

nagging/persuasions/point of views with him have failed. He'll say neither the

inositol nor the Celexa helped, OCD just was better on its own. Yeah.

How would anyone outside the family (like at school)learn she is on medication

(re the embarassment of being on it)? I'm sure you've tried all the arguments

of how others are on meds for all types of reasons. Maybe you can argue that

she's got to " show you " she doesn't need the medication if she wants to stay off

them. So that means behavior is good, etc. Sort of saying she's got a choice

in it so not an outright " no " which kids/teens hate to hear, so perhaps she will

try to prove it, etc.

Vegan - I'd share your concern OCD would run with hit. But kids/teens do go

through these phases/choices, and vegan is one many choose to do/try. I

remember one of 's friends did this in high school. Surprised me how much

that included, sort of expensive too with some of the things. I think he's

still one. Are there maybe 2 items you can offer with each meal that would fall

under this category so that you still make just *one* meal? I'd argue that

point with her, that the rest of you aren't but you will have 2 items with the

regular meals, something like that; and have something she can fix for herself

for meals that can't be done. (I'm just thinking aloud here, haven't had to do

it myself; but was a picky/limited eater, I just tried to have 2 things

he liked at meals, even if that made mashed potatoes served 3x in a row.)

Gee, all I can think of right now. Please keep your sanity, she getting to that

teen problem age too!

>

> Hi all. We had a very good summer. My teen daughter (13) adjusted

> well to her medication change. She was even able to travel by

> plane with me, to see my Mother. We have not traveled in years.

>

> But now we have another set back with the start of 8th grade.

> She hates the idea she has to take medication (prozac) and poured

> water in her medicine bottle. The medicine has only helped

> her. She feels embarassed that she needs it. And she is

> flat out refusing to go to school, since she has special

> education supports. She wants to run away from all her issues.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much Chris. The hardest part is to not be able to

talk about these problems, so it really helps that you shared

your experience with your son and about the vegan diet.

I do feel you put things into perspective.

thanks,

Pam

> >

> > Hi all. We had a very good summer. My teen daughter (13) adjusted

> > well to her medication change. She was even able to travel by

> > plane with me, to see my Mother. We have not traveled in years.

> >

> > But now we have another set back with the start of 8th grade.

> > She hates the idea she has to take medication (prozac) and poured

> > water in her medicine bottle. The medicine has only helped

> > her. She feels embarassed that she needs it. And she is

> > flat out refusing to go to school, since she has special

> > education supports. She wants to run away from all her issues.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

You're welcome. Do let us know how things progress with school and med. I hate

this happened, you've really worked hard and sought out a lot of help/solutions

for her while in the midst of the OCD and outbursts and hitting.

Best start proofreading, just noticed my typos earlier!

>

> Thanks so much Chris. The hardest part is to not be able to

> talk about these problems, so it really helps that you shared

> your experience with your son and about the vegan diet.

> I do feel you put things into perspective.

>

> thanks,

> Pam

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam,

I have been wondering how you're doing. It sounds a lot like your daughter has

some normal adolescent behavior mixed in with social anxiety and avoid ant

behaviors. We have been dealing with this too. When kids are anxious socially,

they fear loosing control and embarrassing themselves. Their perception of

others in response to themselves or a given situation is not accurate.

Sometimes kids who feel powerless in one situation like to exercise control of

another (vegan fad?).

It's so hard when they're older to get them to do something....they're too big

to make them do it. I still struggle with Matt, but I tell him what my

expectations of him are and what the consequences are if he makes an unfortunate

choice. He has learned that I mean it. I tell him that It's appropriate to

tell me what he needs to be able to go to school, and I will always help him,

but go to school he must. He really wants to be around other kids and not at

home, but he's anxious at the same time.

I don't know how the year will go, we may end up homeschooling for a period of

time during the school year. If this happens, there will be no computer or

video games, and no friends each day that he doesn't attend....things may

deteriorate further, but unless someone helps us with this in another way, I

know I am doing the right thing. I am also going to seek exposure therapy for

his social anxiety. It turns out that his obsessiveness is not about throwing

up, rather it's about what others would think of him if he did throw up.

has not been physically violent with us in a couple of yrs. If he were,

I'm not sure how I would handle it. I think the consequences for him would be

similar to those when refusing school and they would be in place for more than a

day or two. I think that your dd's violent behavior is a means acting out when

you don't let her avoid whatever. When avoid ant behaviors are not allow, kids

will go to great lengths and they will up the ante when it doesn't work. I

think it would help if you had someone with you to take her to school or have

your dh do it. Me and dh once put Matt in the car in his PJ's and told he would

either get dressed in the car or we would put him outside the car in his PJ's.

Would I have done it? Not sure, but he thought I would.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I am not understanding him, it's more

that I am not letting him avoid the situation....I am always willing to help

him.

So sorry you're having a tough time....I know how you feel.

Bonnie

>

> Hi all. We had a very good summer. My teen daughter (13) adjusted

> well to her medication change. She was even able to travel by

> plane with me, to see my Mother. We have not traveled in years.

>

> But now we have another set back with the start of 8th grade.

> She hates the idea she has to take medication (prozac) and poured

> water in her medicine bottle. The medicine has only helped

> her. She feels embarassed that she needs it. And she is

> flat out refusing to go to school, since she has special

> education supports. She wants to run away from all her issues.

>

> I think she is having a very hard time accepting her issues

> and at the same time struggling with anxiety again and

> obessions. Now she has decided she can't eat anything that

> is in anyway processed or made of any kind of meat or dairy.

> She is saying she is a vegan.

>

> I feel more upset now that I ever have. We had a few months

> of such peace that I am shaking at the thought of turmoil

> again.

>

>

> I feel fearful that the vegan diet is going to spin

> out of control.It seems extreme that she can't eat eggs,

> that I have to make sure there is no gelatin in any product,

> she won't eat white sugar or any enriched flour. I just don't want to get her

more upset to say no

> completely to this and then she won't eat at all.

> I have been buying her soy milk and tofu and making special

> meals and lunches. Am I off track here??????????

>

> I feel I have exhausted the possibilites with schools and

> the one she is in is small and supportive. I have nowhere

> else to look. And she is too controlling of me to

> home school her. I have said if she doesn't go to school

> no activities with her cousins or TV or computer.

>

> I have said if she does not take her medicine I won't

> get in a car with her, often it is in the car

> after school that she takes her frustration out on me

> hitting me (prior to prozac) or yelling at me.

>

> Any ideas will be appreciated.

>

> Pam

>