Re: Frustrated (Scrupulosity/Fear of Religion)

July 29, 2011

I think it's great that was able to participate in a church youth group

without his scrupulosity getting him down! Unfortunately, my daughter has what

I'd almost call a phobia of religion. I wouldn't call it scrupulosity, as I

understand it, but something akin to it. Even though she considers herself

agnostic, she has been tormented for much of her life by the conviction that

she's going to Hell. She seems to think she's done terrible things (what they

might be, I can't imagine) and spends time speculating on what Hell is like.

It seems like a double bind. If she were a flaming atheist maybe she wouldn't

have these fears. On the other hand, if she had faith, and were open to a

loving, open minded church, maybe a priest or minister could allay her fears and

help her understand that God loves her.

Some years ago, she developed an interest in homosexuality and gay rights. I'm

pretty sure she's straight, but she knows what it's like to feel like an

outsider so this issue " spoke to " her. With her compulsion to seek out the

negative, she dug up extremist " Christian " web sites ( " All gays deserve to die " )

and with the black and white thinking that goes with Asperger's and OCD, she got

the idea that practicing Christians are judgmental and scary.

We've talked a lot about the fact that some Christians are judgmental and scary

(there are plenty of judgmental, scary atheists, too), but most are not like

that. The media doesn't help. Christians who quietly live their faith, try to

obey Christ's commandments to love one another and not judge others, and do

charity work -- well -- they rarely make news. :-) On the other hand, every time

those lunatics at Westboro Baptist makes a move, we hear all about it. :-(

Sorry to digress, but it feels good to get this out. Maybe I should seek out a

Unitarian youth group? :-)

Also, I am sure some of her apathy and fatigue is due to her meds.

However, I think we've gotten too used to blaming that, instead of looking at

her refusal to get up early, exercise, etc.

(17 y/o dd with OCD, anxiety depression, Asperger's & NVLD)

>

> Here's a thought - my kids didn't grow up going to church, but joined

a church and participated in the youth group. He did enjoy that group, and they

had a lot of activities. Some in the group didn't even belong to that church,

they just participated in the group for the fun of it.

July 29, 2011

Well, if not a church group, maybe there's some volunteering somewhere or other

groups. You may have to be with her at first til she adjusts, but hopefully

later drop her off.

's also sure he's going to Hell. Not even God can forgive him, blah,

blah. His attending church, and on his own too, has been a blessing for him but

I know there's anguish there too sometimes. He'll deny it. But I used to attend

with him until he got adjusted and knowing people (and that pricked my own

scrupe type thoughts too being in a church) and I, as a lot of us with OCD kids

do, watched him. When they'd have communion services, he'd have to go to the

restroom, etc.

I think it's part of the Aspergers sometimes with not initiating some things on

their own. I practically have to order with certain things. Like his

car. Been sitting there at home while he's at college, really needs washed,

cleaned out. He could do that while I'm at work or on a weekend. Until I say

" now " and I get him set up to do it, it won't happen. And it's always been that

way. I've got 2 other sons to compare to, and I'm not perfect, put things off,

but with it is just " different " as to why it doesn't get done or why he

doesn't attempt things on his own.

SIGH! I empathize with you,

>

> I think it's great that was able to participate in a church youth

group without his scrupulosity getting him down! Unfortunately, my daughter has

what I'd almost call a phobia of religion. I wouldn't call it scrupulosity, as I

understand it, but something akin to it.

July 29, 2011

P.S. But let's not forget that OCD will have them avoiding things too.

Sometimes we don't realize it.

>

> I think it's great that was able to participate in a church youth

group without his scrupulosity getting him down! Unfortunately, my daughter has

what I'd almost call a phobia of religion. I wouldn't call it scrupulosity, as I

understand it, but something akin to it. Even though she considers herself

agnostic, she has been tormented for much of her life by the conviction that

she's going to Hell. She seems to think she's done terrible things (what they

might be, I can't imagine) and spends time speculating on what Hell is like.

July 31, 2011

Thank you, Chris. (((Hugs)))

(in Virginia)

17 y/o dd with OCD, Asperger's, NVLD, and anxiety/depression

> >

> > I think it's great that was able to participate in a church youth

group without his scrupulosity getting him down! Unfortunately, my daughter has

what I'd almost call a phobia of religion. I wouldn't call it scrupulosity, as I

understand it, but something akin to it.

>

August 1, 2011

We have avoided religion for fear of what learning of some things would send dd

over the edge!Â Both dh and I grew up in Catholic households, went to Catholic

schools, went to church every week.Â We feel we cannot do that for our dd, as

she would not be able to handle some of the things she would be taught.

Sharon

To:

Sent: Friday, July 29, 2011 10:37 AM

Subject: Re: Frustrated (Scrupulosity/Fear of Religion)

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