Re: help-4 year old in crisis

[Guest guest]

Omg, so sorry! Wish I had some words of wisdom......

> Hi,

>

> I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

> ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

> goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

> writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

> This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as

> much as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

>

> I have tried everything I can think of. I have tried distracting her like

> crazy - basically after she goes potty we have at least a half hour of all

> hands on deck distracting her. I have tried cancelling plans to let her stay

> home for a few days. I have tried dragging her to the van kicking and

> screaming so she will realize that going places is fun. I have tried drawing

> silly faces on the potty and letting her draw on it. We have the usual kids

> books on this and are reading them like crazy.

>

> We have been seeing a therapist but are now realizing that her approach

> (talking to my daughter and reassuring her - basically what I do all day long)

> is not adding value so I am trying to find a new one but am not having much

> luck.

>

> Since all of this distraction is a bust I am being really cruel right now and

> just letting her suffer right now to see if she has a limit and will calm

> herself - I feel awful about it but the distraction has not helped.

>

> Any ideas?

>

>

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Hi, well it seems you're tackling it from all angles, the distractions, etc.

This behavior/problem has been mentioned here a lot over the years, so know

you're not the only one whose child has felt that way. I hate I can't recall

what others have found helpful, I think the distractions and the childrens books

about OCD are the main things.

Perhaps, if she knows/calls this OCD that is making her feel this way, you could

limit how long she stays on the potty or how many times she can go back? A way

of bossing back OCD. Like she can sit there 10 more minutes to begin with

(maybe give her coloring or something to do while sitting to distract?) and

later try going down to 8 minutes or so (use a timer in there). Or that she

can go back only X times the next hour/half hour.... Let it be from the

perspective of bossing back OCD telling her she needs to go again. Maybe knowing

she can go back X times and/or sit there X minutes will help with less

anxiety/meltdowns.

If she's avoiding going potty, then have her go when she feels she doesn't have

to? Go and sit 5 or 10 minutes, another " boss back OCD " tactic. Tho if she

does " go, " then it falls back on the timing/repeating tactic above.

When it gets somewhat better for her at X minutes/repeats, then go down 1 or 2

less, etc.

Is she having any problems with her underwear? I know some feel they've " leaked "

(when they haven't) and are constantly changing it.

Quick thoughts,

single mom, 3 sons

, 22, with OCD, Aspergers, dysgraphia

>

> Hi,

>

> I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as much

as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks. She is actually not going back to the potty beause she knows that it is

her ocd. She puts off going as long as she can but does go when she needs to

and then suffers for an hour or so because she feels she needs to go again but

if I tell her to set a limit and go one more time she actually will not because

she knows. The whole bathroom makes her horribly anxious so getting her to sit

on it is extremely traumatic and makes her hystical. She and her sisters are in

there now painting the potty. I sure wish I knew what I was doing

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as much

as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

She's actually doing pretty good by not going back, not listening to OCD. So

she's doing good there! But if she's putting off going when she actually needs

to go, that's not good either. Tho my son had other OC behaviors, I know he

avoided things too because he knew he might get " stuck " on it with OCD lasting a

while. SIGH!

I think painting the potty is a good idea.

Is her potty something that goes on the regular commode/toilet, or one that can

be moved? Wondering if another room to " go in " might help, then it wouldn't be

*the bathroom*.

A reward system - have you tried that? Since she is succeeding at not going

back, having her earn points/stickers towards a reward might help too. Could

have different levels, she can use 10 points for certain rewards, 15 towards

another, etc. Could be a food treat, movie time, play time of her choice, her

choice for supper, a later bedtime...doesn't have to be $ related.

Hang in there, seems like you're on the right track with her " bossing back " and

knowing it's OCD.

Did this all start recently or build up over time and got worse?

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old

has ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after

she goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as much

as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Just wondering...are you sure that she doesn't have a urinary tract infection?

those are some symptoms and girls that age are prime candidates for UTI's. I'm

just thinking that it should be ruled out anyway....some UTI's can be chronic.

Bonnie

>

> Hi,

>

> I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as much

as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

>

> I have tried everything I can think of. I have tried distracting her like

crazy - basically after she goes potty we have at least a half hour of all hands

on deck distracting her. I have tried cancelling plans to let her stay home for

a few days. I have tried dragging her to the van kicking and screaming so she

will realize that going places is fun. I have tried drawing silly faces on the

potty and letting her draw on it. We have the usual kids books on this and are

reading them like crazy.

>

> We have been seeing a therapist but are now realizing that her approach

(talking to my daughter and reassuring her - basically what I do all day long)

is not adding value so I am trying to find a new one but am not having much

luck.

>

> Since all of this distraction is a bust I am being really cruel right now and

just letting her suffer right now to see if she has a limit and will calm

herself - I feel awful about it but the distraction has not helped.

>

> Any ideas?

>

[Guest guest]

Just wondering...are you sure that she doesn't have a urinary tract infection?

those are some symptoms and girls that age are prime candidates for UTI's. I'm

just thinking that it should be ruled out anyway....some UTI's can be chronic.

Bonnie

>

> Hi,

>

> I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as much

as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

>

> I have tried everything I can think of. I have tried distracting her like

crazy - basically after she goes potty we have at least a half hour of all hands

on deck distracting her. I have tried cancelling plans to let her stay home for

a few days. I have tried dragging her to the van kicking and screaming so she

will realize that going places is fun. I have tried drawing silly faces on the

potty and letting her draw on it. We have the usual kids books on this and are

reading them like crazy.

>

> We have been seeing a therapist but are now realizing that her approach

(talking to my daughter and reassuring her - basically what I do all day long)

is not adding value so I am trying to find a new one but am not having much

luck.

>

> Since all of this distraction is a bust I am being really cruel right now and

just letting her suffer right now to see if she has a limit and will calm

herself - I feel awful about it but the distraction has not helped.

>

> Any ideas?

>

[Guest guest]

I would look into ruling out interstitial cystitis as well.

(http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001508/) I have this and

suspect that my daughter (who has OCD) may have it as well. It mimics a

chronic UTI and is greatly affected by diet. Anything with acidic content

(especially citrus and tomato) can trigger it.

It's not common in young children, but is possible. Thankfully when it does

come up in childhood there is a much greater chance of " outgrowing " it.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of bhamelburg

Sent: Monday, September 05, 2011 7:50 PM

To:

Subject: Re: help-4 year old in crisis

Just wondering...are you sure that she doesn't have a urinary tract

infection? those are some symptoms and girls that age are prime candidates

for UTI's. I'm just thinking that it should be ruled out anyway....some

UTI's can be chronic.

Bonnie

>

> Hi,

>

> I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as

much as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

[Guest guest]

I would look into ruling out interstitial cystitis as well.

(http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001508/) I have this and

suspect that my daughter (who has OCD) may have it as well. It mimics a

chronic UTI and is greatly affected by diet. Anything with acidic content

(especially citrus and tomato) can trigger it.

It's not common in young children, but is possible. Thankfully when it does

come up in childhood there is a much greater chance of " outgrowing " it.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of bhamelburg

Sent: Monday, September 05, 2011 7:50 PM

To:

Subject: Re: help-4 year old in crisis

Just wondering...are you sure that she doesn't have a urinary tract

infection? those are some symptoms and girls that age are prime candidates

for UTI's. I'm just thinking that it should be ruled out anyway....some

UTI's can be chronic.

Bonnie

>

> Hi,

>

> I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as

much as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry you and your 4-yr-old are dealing with this. We had the same thing

with my now 8-yr-old daughter. It started before kindergarten, and I had no

idea that it was OCD until she was 8! (Feel like such a dingbat for not

realizing sooner. We actually had her talking to a therapist for 2 YEARS, and I

mentioned this back and forth bathroom thing, but she said that we should just

let her go as often as possible. I was writing notes to her camp counselors,

friends' parents, etc., to allow her access at all times. Talk about NOT

bossing back OCD.) With her, it was really bad in kinder, then seemed to be

under control, and then came back again with a vengeance at the end of 2nd

grade, when I finally realized that there was something else going on. (She

finally explained that she feels like something bad - e.g., robbers - would

happen if she didn't go again. She also did a lot of counting while she was

there.) We took her to a wonderful OCD therapist, and she got rid of this form

of OCD within a week. More importantly, she was able on her own to generalize

the tools she was taught in one 2-hr session to other forms of OCD that I had

not even realized she had (putting the toilet lid down, rearranging her soap

container, flossing her teeth in a particular way). We call them her " ha ya "

moments with OCD. (Picture a karate chop sound.) The difference between where

we were in June and where we are now is astounding. I seriously thought my life

was over and that nothing could get worse. But I feel like my daughter is back.

And, although she said on the way to her therapist that she didn't want to share

her feelings with another feelings doctor, she spend the entire drive in the car

back THANKING me for finding someone who could help her. We just didn't realize

what was causing all of her bathroom issues.

On to more practical advice. Yes, of course, you should rule out UTI and other

physical causes. I did the UTI labs but never did the full bladder workup with

my daughter because I KNEW that it was in her head. I had thought that it was

some sort of fear of having an accident because her father had yelled at her

once when that happened.

But, if you know it is not UTI, and if she is old enough to understand the OCD

worry bug, you just have to apply all the OCD tricks. But keep in mind that

this is not like a habit that she can eliminate because she will have to go to

the bathroom several times a day even without OCD! That was the part I found

trickiest. Her therapist suggested having 2 hours in between bathroom

visits,and noting how strong her " urge " was in betwen. This did help, but I

know there are times - depending on how much liquid someone has - that more

frequent bathroom breaks are needed. My daughter did well with limiting the

counting, or the going back on the potty after getting up (once you're done,

you're done). Then she started increasing the time in between visits and the

time on the potty. We did use a chart to write down how often she went, and she

took pride in going less frequently. She was old enough to feel rewarded on her

own, but a reward/sticker system may work well for a 4-yr-old.

Know that you are a million steps ahead by already knowing that this is OCD and

not letting years go by before getting the right diagnosis.

Good luck to you!

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as much

as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

> >

> > I have tried everything I can think of. I have tried distracting her like

crazy - basically after she goes potty we have at least a half hour of all hands

on deck distracting her. I have tried cancelling plans to let her stay home for

a few days. I have tried dragging her to the van kicking and screaming so she

will realize that going places is fun. I have tried drawing silly faces on the

potty and letting her draw on it. We have the usual kids books on this and are

reading them like crazy.

> >

> > We have been seeing a therapist but are now realizing that her approach

(talking to my daughter and reassuring her - basically what I do all day long)

is not adding value so I am trying to find a new one but am not having much

luck.

> >

> > Since all of this distraction is a bust I am being really cruel right now

and just letting her suffer right now to see if she has a limit and will calm

herself - I feel awful about it but the distraction has not helped.

> >

> > Any ideas?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry you and your 4-yr-old are dealing with this. We had the same thing

with my now 8-yr-old daughter. It started before kindergarten, and I had no

idea that it was OCD until she was 8! (Feel like such a dingbat for not

realizing sooner. We actually had her talking to a therapist for 2 YEARS, and I

mentioned this back and forth bathroom thing, but she said that we should just

let her go as often as possible. I was writing notes to her camp counselors,

friends' parents, etc., to allow her access at all times. Talk about NOT

bossing back OCD.) With her, it was really bad in kinder, then seemed to be

under control, and then came back again with a vengeance at the end of 2nd

grade, when I finally realized that there was something else going on. (She

finally explained that she feels like something bad - e.g., robbers - would

happen if she didn't go again. She also did a lot of counting while she was

there.) We took her to a wonderful OCD therapist, and she got rid of this form

of OCD within a week. More importantly, she was able on her own to generalize

the tools she was taught in one 2-hr session to other forms of OCD that I had

not even realized she had (putting the toilet lid down, rearranging her soap

container, flossing her teeth in a particular way). We call them her " ha ya "

moments with OCD. (Picture a karate chop sound.) The difference between where

we were in June and where we are now is astounding. I seriously thought my life

was over and that nothing could get worse. But I feel like my daughter is back.

And, although she said on the way to her therapist that she didn't want to share

her feelings with another feelings doctor, she spend the entire drive in the car

back THANKING me for finding someone who could help her. We just didn't realize

what was causing all of her bathroom issues.

On to more practical advice. Yes, of course, you should rule out UTI and other

physical causes. I did the UTI labs but never did the full bladder workup with

my daughter because I KNEW that it was in her head. I had thought that it was

some sort of fear of having an accident because her father had yelled at her

once when that happened.

But, if you know it is not UTI, and if she is old enough to understand the OCD

worry bug, you just have to apply all the OCD tricks. But keep in mind that

this is not like a habit that she can eliminate because she will have to go to

the bathroom several times a day even without OCD! That was the part I found

trickiest. Her therapist suggested having 2 hours in between bathroom

visits,and noting how strong her " urge " was in betwen. This did help, but I

know there are times - depending on how much liquid someone has - that more

frequent bathroom breaks are needed. My daughter did well with limiting the

counting, or the going back on the potty after getting up (once you're done,

you're done). Then she started increasing the time in between visits and the

time on the potty. We did use a chart to write down how often she went, and she

took pride in going less frequently. She was old enough to feel rewarded on her

own, but a reward/sticker system may work well for a 4-yr-old.

Know that you are a million steps ahead by already knowing that this is OCD and

not letting years go by before getting the right diagnosis.

Good luck to you!

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as much

as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

> >

> > I have tried everything I can think of. I have tried distracting her like

crazy - basically after she goes potty we have at least a half hour of all hands

on deck distracting her. I have tried cancelling plans to let her stay home for

a few days. I have tried dragging her to the van kicking and screaming so she

will realize that going places is fun. I have tried drawing silly faces on the

potty and letting her draw on it. We have the usual kids books on this and are

reading them like crazy.

> >

> > We have been seeing a therapist but are now realizing that her approach

(talking to my daughter and reassuring her - basically what I do all day long)

is not adding value so I am trying to find a new one but am not having much

luck.

> >

> > Since all of this distraction is a bust I am being really cruel right now

and just letting her suffer right now to see if she has a limit and will calm

herself - I feel awful about it but the distraction has not helped.

> >

> > Any ideas?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Interesting she is referring to a girl who had problems with potty. The

reference I find most helpful is the feeling doctor reference. This has

killed Camden

Connected by DROID on Verizon Wireless

Re: help-4 year old in crisis

I'm sorry you and your 4-yr-old are dealing with this. We had the same

thing with my now 8-yr-old daughter. It started before kindergarten, and I

had no idea that it was OCD until she was 8! (Feel like such a dingbat for

not realizing sooner. We actually had her talking to a therapist for 2

YEARS, and I mentioned this back and forth bathroom thing, but she said that

we should just let her go as often as possible. I was writing notes to her

camp counselors, friends' parents, etc., to allow her access at all times.

Talk about NOT bossing back OCD.) With her, it was really bad in kinder,

then seemed to be under control, and then came back again with a vengeance

at the end of 2nd grade, when I finally realized that there was something

else going on. (She finally explained that she feels like something bad -

e.g., robbers - would happen if she didn't go again. She also did a lot of

counting while she was there.) We took her to a wonderful OCD therapist,

and she got rid of this form of OCD within a week. More importantly, she

was able on her own to generalize the tools she was taught in one 2-hr

session to other forms of OCD that I had not even realized she had (putting

the toilet lid down, rearranging her soap container, flossing her teeth in a

particular way). We call them her " ha ya " moments with OCD. (Picture a

karate chop sound.) The difference between where we were in June and where

we are now is astounding. I seriously thought my life was

[Guest guest]

Interesting she is referring to a girl who had problems with potty. The

reference I find most helpful is the feeling doctor reference. This has

killed Camden

Connected by DROID on Verizon Wireless

Re: help-4 year old in crisis

I'm sorry you and your 4-yr-old are dealing with this. We had the same

thing with my now 8-yr-old daughter. It started before kindergarten, and I

had no idea that it was OCD until she was 8! (Feel like such a dingbat for

not realizing sooner. We actually had her talking to a therapist for 2

YEARS, and I mentioned this back and forth bathroom thing, but she said that

we should just let her go as often as possible. I was writing notes to her

camp counselors, friends' parents, etc., to allow her access at all times.

Talk about NOT bossing back OCD.) With her, it was really bad in kinder,

then seemed to be under control, and then came back again with a vengeance

at the end of 2nd grade, when I finally realized that there was something

else going on. (She finally explained that she feels like something bad -

e.g., robbers - would happen if she didn't go again. She also did a lot of

counting while she was there.) We took her to a wonderful OCD therapist,

and she got rid of this form of OCD within a week. More importantly, she

was able on her own to generalize the tools she was taught in one 2-hr

session to other forms of OCD that I had not even realized she had (putting

the toilet lid down, rearranging her soap container, flossing her teeth in a

particular way). We call them her " ha ya " moments with OCD. (Picture a

karate chop sound.) The difference between where we were in June and where

we are now is astounding. I seriously thought my life was

[Guest guest]

We've been through that. We've also been through the " I feel like my underwear

is wet " thing, was talking about. Unfortunately, our son was so disabled,

often being stuck in the bathroom for hours at a time, unable to come out, that

out of desperation we turned to medication. After years of coping with it,

within a week of starting meds, he improved. Within 2 weeks, the problem was

gone.

It wasn't until much later that we found a good therapist who used CBT/ERP

(cognitve behavioral therapy / exposure and response prevention). The ERP is

KEY to improvement. The bathroom thing had come and gone by then, but the

correct therapy did wonders for his other OCs he was coping with.

It can be difficult to find a therapist who will work with a young child, but it

would be worth the effort.

We also ruled out other medical conditions first. If you haven't done that yet,

I would encourage it. And we also had no idea it was OCD, until the medication

made it stop.

I suspect the " letting her suffer " thing won't work, because with OCD, the more

you give into it, the more it grows.

Have you tried rewards? I wonder if you set a limit as to how long she can stay

in there, say 5 minutes. . .And each time she is able to come out, she can be

rewarded, if that would help.

It's difficult, I know. So sorry you are going through it.

BJ

>

> Hi,

>

> I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as much

as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

>

> I have tried everything I can think of. I have tried distracting her like

crazy - basically after she goes potty we have at least a half hour of all hands

on deck distracting her. I have tried cancelling plans to let her stay home for

a few days. I have tried dragging her to the van kicking and screaming so she

will realize that going places is fun. I have tried drawing silly faces on the

potty and letting her draw on it. We have the usual kids books on this and are

reading them like crazy.

>

> We have been seeing a therapist but are now realizing that her approach

(talking to my daughter and reassuring her - basically what I do all day long)

is not adding value so I am trying to find a new one but am not having much

luck.

>

> Since all of this distraction is a bust I am being really cruel right now and

just letting her suffer right now to see if she has a limit and will calm

herself - I feel awful about it but the distraction has not helped.

>

> Any ideas?

>

[Guest guest]

We've been through that. We've also been through the " I feel like my underwear

is wet " thing, was talking about. Unfortunately, our son was so disabled,

often being stuck in the bathroom for hours at a time, unable to come out, that

out of desperation we turned to medication. After years of coping with it,

within a week of starting meds, he improved. Within 2 weeks, the problem was

gone.

It wasn't until much later that we found a good therapist who used CBT/ERP

(cognitve behavioral therapy / exposure and response prevention). The ERP is

KEY to improvement. The bathroom thing had come and gone by then, but the

correct therapy did wonders for his other OCs he was coping with.

It can be difficult to find a therapist who will work with a young child, but it

would be worth the effort.

We also ruled out other medical conditions first. If you haven't done that yet,

I would encourage it. And we also had no idea it was OCD, until the medication

made it stop.

I suspect the " letting her suffer " thing won't work, because with OCD, the more

you give into it, the more it grows.

Have you tried rewards? I wonder if you set a limit as to how long she can stay

in there, say 5 minutes. . .And each time she is able to come out, she can be

rewarded, if that would help.

It's difficult, I know. So sorry you are going through it.

BJ

>

> Hi,

>

> I am hoping someone may have some tips for me. My beautiful 4 year old has

ocd that comes and goes. Right now we are in a crisis. It kicks in after she

goes pptty - makes her feel that she needs to go potty again so she ends up

writhing on the floor screaming and crying that she needs to go potty again.

This has made her so anxious about going potty that she really avoids it as much

as she can because she knows her ocd will kick in.

>

> I have tried everything I can think of. I have tried distracting her like

crazy - basically after she goes potty we have at least a half hour of all hands

on deck distracting her. I have tried cancelling plans to let her stay home for

a few days. I have tried dragging her to the van kicking and screaming so she

will realize that going places is fun. I have tried drawing silly faces on the

potty and letting her draw on it. We have the usual kids books on this and are

reading them like crazy.

>

> We have been seeing a therapist but are now realizing that her approach

(talking to my daughter and reassuring her - basically what I do all day long)

is not adding value so I am trying to find a new one but am not having much

luck.

>

> Since all of this distraction is a bust I am being really cruel right now and

just letting her suffer right now to see if she has a limit and will calm

herself - I feel awful about it but the distraction has not helped.

>

> Any ideas?

>