Guest guest Posted April 14, 2012 Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 I'm with you. " I'm worried about a family-member. He's been diagnosed with a Physical Illness. He's Physically Ill. " > Following up on 's post about the therapist & others blaming her - I was reading another OCD book where it said that OCD is partly blamed on environment, can be due to stress in the home, related to traumatic life event. Why don't they ever say that about cancer or diabetes or osteoporosis? If they looked at other factors as closely for these conditions as they seem to for OCD, they might identify something similar. It seems pretty unfair to point fingers at the family just because it's a " mental " illness. > > As far as that goes, whoever says they know someone with a " physical illness " ? All physical illness are given specific names, like above. Why " mental illness " ? > > I'm just really upset that my son came down with a " mental illness " rather than a condition with a name like all the physical illnesses. Can you imagine NAPI? > > Rhonda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2012 Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 All of the rest is related to stress. About 97% of cancers are diet and life style choices, according to docs now treating two of my family members. I have arthritis and was told stress is a huge factor in pain .... encouraged to try yoga as was my child for OCD. I don't know about stress and diabetes for sure, but it is diet related and I have a friend that always travels with snacks cause her blood sugar levels drop if she is stuck in traffic ... late for work ... so that sounds stress related to me. This is not about blame and when we were told OCD was related to home life .... stress and such I didn't take it as blame .... or finger pointing. Is it not understood by most that behaviors go up when stress goes up? But, helping my child learn to relax, self sooth, deep breathing ... making sure she gets enough time on the track and in the pool, making sure she eats correctly, gets enough sleep, learns to talk about things cause her to worry ... she didn't really like yoga ... it all helps and never will I rely 100% on medication .... we approach this from many directions. ________________________________ To: Sent: Saturday, April 14, 2012 12:44 PM Subject: Re: pet peeve I'm with you. " I'm worried about a family-member. He's been diagnosed with a Physical Illness. He's Physically Ill. " > Following up on 's post about the therapist & others blaming her - I was reading another OCD book where it said that OCD is partly blamed on environment, can be due to stress in the home, related to traumatic life event. Why don't they ever say that about cancer or diabetes or osteoporosis? If they looked at other factors as closely for these conditions as they seem to for OCD, they might identify something similar. It seems pretty unfair to point fingers at the family just because it's a " mental " illness. > > As far as that goes, whoever says they know someone with a " physical illness " ? All physical illness are given specific names, like above. Why " mental illness " ? > > I'm just really upset that my son came down with a " mental illness " rather than a condition with a name like all the physical illnesses. Can you imagine NAPI? > > Rhonda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2012 Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 OK, I'm tired so maybe not clearly thinking at the moment, but OCD is the name. It falls under mental illness, but it is the name of your child's condition. Mental illnesses are given a name. So, not grasping that part.... Stress does play a role in physical illnesses, and can trigger some, cancer included (from what I've read). Just like OCD can be " there " but not triggered yet. Something starts OCD, brings it " out. " Can be the same with physical illnesses and stress/environment/trauma CAN play a part. Bipolar can be " there " but not triggered (some meds can bring that out!) For me, it's CAN PLAY a part with the triggering for either, not necessarily the cause for all. Genetics plays a part with both types too. I also hate when a book says that about stress/environment if that is all it seems to say as a cause. If that were it, why only one of my three sons? OCD in our family, I can look at my mom and say, Yep all from her and her side of the family, lol. But no blame. But yeah, people grow more concerned for others who have a physical illness than a mental one, i.e., friends, relatives.... > > Following up on 's post about the therapist & others blaming her - I was reading another OCD book where it said that OCD is partly blamed on environment, can be due to stress in the home, related to traumatic life event. Why don't they ever say that about cancer or diabetes or osteoporosis? If they looked at other factors as closely for these conditions as they seem to for OCD, they might identify something similar. It seems pretty unfair to point fingers at the family just because it's a " mental " illness. > > As far as that goes, whoever says they know someone with a " physical illness " ? All physical illness are given specific names, like above. Why " mental illness " ? > > I'm just really upset that my son came down with a " mental illness " rather than a condition with a name like all the physical illnesses. Can you imagine NAPI? > > Rhonda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2012 Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! If I could say to Grandma and Grandpa, my son is being treated for glucositis, they would look concerned and sympathetic, rather than nervous and uneasy. It's a double burden for folks with OCD to have to cope with the name as well as the actual condition. Of course I never gave it a thought until my son got it; I was a finger pointer myself. In 2010 they finally passed a law mandating " mentally retarded " be changed to " intellectual disability. " I hope it doesn't take that long with OCD. Meanwhile I guess I have to learn to live with it!! Rhonda Re: pet peeve OK, I'm tired so maybe not clearly thinking at the moment, but OCD is the name. It falls under mental illness, but it is the name of your child's condition. Mental illnesses are given a name. So, not grasping that part.... Stress does play a role in physical illnesses, and can trigger some, cancer included (from what I've read). Just like OCD can be " there " but not triggered yet. Something starts OCD, brings it " out. " Can be the same with physical illnesses and stress/environment/trauma CAN play a part. Bipolar can be " there " but not triggered (some meds can bring that out!) For me, it's CAN PLAY a part with the triggering for either, not necessarily the cause for all. Genetics plays a part with both types too. I also hate when a book says that about stress/environment if that is all it seems to say as a cause. If that were it, why only one of my three sons? OCD in our family, I can look at my mom and say, Yep all from her and her side of the family, lol. But no blame. But yeah, people grow more concerned for others who have a physical illness than a mental one, i.e., friends, relatives.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2012 Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 How about " neuro-biological condition " . Not a huge improvement, but it does avoid some stigmatizing words. > Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! > > If I could say to Grandma and Grandpa, my son is being treated for glucositis, they would look concerned and sympathetic, rather than nervous and uneasy. It's a double burden for folks with OCD to have to cope with the name as well as the actual condition. Of course I never gave it a thought until my son got it; I was a finger pointer myself. > > In 2010 they finally passed a law mandating " mentally retarded " be changed to " intellectual disability. " I hope it doesn't take that long with OCD. Meanwhile I guess I have to learn to live with it!! > > Rhonda > > Re: pet peeve > > OK, I'm tired so maybe not clearly thinking at the moment, but OCD is the name. It falls under mental illness, but it is the name of your child's condition. Mental illnesses are given a name. So, not grasping that part.... > > Stress does play a role in physical illnesses, and can trigger some, cancer included (from what I've read). Just like OCD can be " there " but not triggered yet. Something starts OCD, brings it " out. " Can be the same with physical illnesses and stress/environment/trauma CAN play a part. Bipolar can be " there " but not triggered (some meds can bring that out!) For me, it's CAN PLAY a part with the triggering for either, not necessarily the cause for all. Genetics plays a part with both types too. I also hate when a book says that about stress/environment if that is all it seems to say as a cause. If that were it, why only one of my three sons? > > OCD in our family, I can look at my mom and say, Yep all from her and her side of the family, lol. But no blame. > > But yeah, people grow more concerned for others who have a physical illness than a mental one, i.e., friends, relatives.... > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2012 Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 OCD does have negative connotations, I agree. I appreciate shows like Glee, who have made effort to change the message. -JuLeah ________________________________ To: Sent: Saturday, April 14, 2012 4:03 PM Subject: Re: Re: pet peeve  Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! If I could say to Grandma and Grandpa, my son is being treated for glucositis, they would look concerned and sympathetic, rather than nervous and uneasy. It's a double burden for folks with OCD to have to cope with the name as well as the actual condition. Of course I never gave it a thought until my son got it; I was a finger pointer myself. In 2010 they finally passed a law mandating " mentally retarded " be changed to " intellectual disability. " I hope it doesn't take that long with OCD. Meanwhile I guess I have to learn to live with it!! Rhonda Re: pet peeve OK, I'm tired so maybe not clearly thinking at the moment, but OCD is the name. It falls under mental illness, but it is the name of your child's condition. Mental illnesses are given a name. So, not grasping that part.... Stress does play a role in physical illnesses, and can trigger some, cancer included (from what I've read). Just like OCD can be " there " but not triggered yet. Something starts OCD, brings it " out. " Can be the same with physical illnesses and stress/environment/trauma CAN play a part. Bipolar can be " there " but not triggered (some meds can bring that out!) For me, it's CAN PLAY a part with the triggering for either, not necessarily the cause for all. Genetics plays a part with both types too. I also hate when a book says that about stress/environment if that is all it seems to say as a cause. If that were it, why only one of my three sons? OCD in our family, I can look at my mom and say, Yep all from her and her side of the family, lol. But no blame. But yeah, people grow more concerned for others who have a physical illness than a mental one, i.e., friends, relatives.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2012 Report Share Posted April 14, 2012 Ohhh...yeah. Let's see. Like, Grandma, my son is being treated for a neurological problem...but a name? Neuroocd or neurocd, not sure they would have a way to pronounce. Neuroc with the " c " sound as a " k " so neurock? neurocitis? > > Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2012 Report Share Posted April 15, 2012 I like neurocitis! Grandma would be too baffled to say anything! ;-) Rhonda Re: pet peeve Ohhh...yeah. Let's see. Like, Grandma, my son is being treated for a neurological problem...but a name? Neuroocd or neurocd, not sure they would have a way to pronounce. Neuroc with the " c " sound as a " k " so neurock? neurocitis? > > Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2012 Report Share Posted April 15, 2012 Hi Rhonda, You might want to try " brain-based disorder " . I have started using this myself. It's the physical part of the body that is affected, the brain, which seems to make people think a bit differently. You could use your part of " brain not processing properly " too! I also prefer, mental health, to mental illness. You might use anxiety disorder instead of OCD, if you don't want to get into an explanation. Everyone understands what it is to feel anxious. With intellectual disabilities, I'm familiar with the term developmental delays. I like the idea that there is a delay, so it is not a disability so much as something that needs more time to develop. It really is in how you choose to look at it. Our son has delays, and it helps me to think of them this way. Instead of limitations I wonder what the possibilities will be, because we really don't know. When you develop a comfort level with the OCD, and it becomes just part of your life, you may find the term doesn't bother you as much. I do know what you mean though, and the stigma around all mental health issues can be oppressive and isolating. You will find your way to talk about it, and will start to know who you can be more open with what. Our son's grandfather, when we told him our son had OCD, left the room, then came back and said, " he'll grow out of it! " Both grandparents did not believe in psychologists/psychiatrists, or have any understanding about OCD. I gave them some things to read, and I think that made it worse, because then they were really worried about what kind of life he would have. He did live with them for a period of time and they learned first hand what OCD looked like! Six years later they have learned a lot, and accept without understanding fully, because they love their grandson. All that to say, sometimes they just need time to come to an understanding. They will still say unhelpful things, same as everyone else, wanting to help or give you " the answer " ....that's when forgiveness comes in handy - I learned to forgive people before they opened their mouths, knowing they just could not understand. Maybe your son could come up with a name that describes how the OCD feels to him that would give his grandparents a better understanding and help them be more sympathetic - try " brain terrorist " (our son would use this). Humor is a good way to go The book, Brain Lock, has one of the best explanations of what is going on in the brain with OCD, and how ERP works. They show brain scans to show the changes before and after ERP. This might help them to understand better. Warmly, Barb Canada Son, 20, OCD, PDD-NOS(Delays/LD) > > Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! > > If I could say to Grandma and Grandpa, my son is being treated for glucositis, they would look concerned and sympathetic, rather than nervous and uneasy. It's a double burden for folks with OCD to have to cope with the name as well as the actual condition. Of course I never gave it a thought until my son got it; I was a finger pointer myself. > > In 2010 they finally passed a law mandating " mentally retarded " be changed to " intellectual disability. " I hope it doesn't take that long with OCD. Meanwhile I guess I have to learn to live with it!! > > Rhonda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2012 Report Share Posted April 15, 2012 Hi Rhonda, You might want to try " brain-based disorder " . I have started using this myself. It's the physical part of the body that is affected, the brain, which seems to make people think a bit differently. You could use your part of " brain not processing properly " too! I also prefer, mental health, to mental illness. You might use anxiety disorder instead of OCD, if you don't want to get into an explanation. Everyone understands what it is to feel anxious. With intellectual disabilities, I'm familiar with the term developmental delays. I like the idea that there is a delay, so it is not a disability so much as something that needs more time to develop. It really is in how you choose to look at it. Our son has delays, and it helps me to think of them this way. Instead of limitations I wonder what the possibilities will be, because we really don't know. When you develop a comfort level with the OCD, and it becomes just part of your life, you may find the term doesn't bother you as much. I do know what you mean though, and the stigma around all mental health issues can be oppressive and isolating. You will find your way to talk about it, and will start to know who you can be more open with what. Our son's grandfather, when we told him our son had OCD, left the room, then came back and said, " he'll grow out of it! " Both grandparents did not believe in psychologists/psychiatrists, or have any understanding about OCD. I gave them some things to read, and I think that made it worse, because then they were really worried about what kind of life he would have. He did live with them for a period of time and they learned first hand what OCD looked like! Six years later they have learned a lot, and accept without understanding fully, because they love their grandson. All that to say, sometimes they just need time to come to an understanding. They will still say unhelpful things, same as everyone else, wanting to help or give you " the answer " ....that's when forgiveness comes in handy - I learned to forgive people before they opened their mouths, knowing they just could not understand. Maybe your son could come up with a name that describes how the OCD feels to him that would give his grandparents a better understanding and help them be more sympathetic - try " brain terrorist " (our son would use this). Humor is a good way to go The book, Brain Lock, has one of the best explanations of what is going on in the brain with OCD, and how ERP works. They show brain scans to show the changes before and after ERP. This might help them to understand better. Warmly, Barb Canada Son, 20, OCD, PDD-NOS(Delays/LD) > > Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! > > If I could say to Grandma and Grandpa, my son is being treated for glucositis, they would look concerned and sympathetic, rather than nervous and uneasy. It's a double burden for folks with OCD to have to cope with the name as well as the actual condition. Of course I never gave it a thought until my son got it; I was a finger pointer myself. > > In 2010 they finally passed a law mandating " mentally retarded " be changed to " intellectual disability. " I hope it doesn't take that long with OCD. Meanwhile I guess I have to learn to live with it!! > > Rhonda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2012 Report Share Posted April 15, 2012 Hi Rhonda, You might want to try " brain-based disorder " . I have started using this myself. It's the physical part of the body that is affected, the brain, which seems to make people think a bit differently. You could use your part of " brain not processing properly " too! I also prefer, mental health, to mental illness. You might use anxiety disorder instead of OCD, if you don't want to get into an explanation. Everyone understands what it is to feel anxious. With intellectual disabilities, I'm familiar with the term developmental delays. I like the idea that there is a delay, so it is not a disability so much as something that needs more time to develop. It really is in how you choose to look at it. Our son has delays, and it helps me to think of them this way. Instead of limitations I wonder what the possibilities will be, because we really don't know. When you develop a comfort level with the OCD, and it becomes just part of your life, you may find the term doesn't bother you as much. I do know what you mean though, and the stigma around all mental health issues can be oppressive and isolating. You will find your way to talk about it, and will start to know who you can be more open with what. Our son's grandfather, when we told him our son had OCD, left the room, then came back and said, " he'll grow out of it! " Both grandparents did not believe in psychologists/psychiatrists, or have any understanding about OCD. I gave them some things to read, and I think that made it worse, because then they were really worried about what kind of life he would have. He did live with them for a period of time and they learned first hand what OCD looked like! Six years later they have learned a lot, and accept without understanding fully, because they love their grandson. All that to say, sometimes they just need time to come to an understanding. They will still say unhelpful things, same as everyone else, wanting to help or give you " the answer " ....that's when forgiveness comes in handy - I learned to forgive people before they opened their mouths, knowing they just could not understand. Maybe your son could come up with a name that describes how the OCD feels to him that would give his grandparents a better understanding and help them be more sympathetic - try " brain terrorist " (our son would use this). Humor is a good way to go The book, Brain Lock, has one of the best explanations of what is going on in the brain with OCD, and how ERP works. They show brain scans to show the changes before and after ERP. This might help them to understand better. Warmly, Barb Canada Son, 20, OCD, PDD-NOS(Delays/LD) > > Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! > > If I could say to Grandma and Grandpa, my son is being treated for glucositis, they would look concerned and sympathetic, rather than nervous and uneasy. It's a double burden for folks with OCD to have to cope with the name as well as the actual condition. Of course I never gave it a thought until my son got it; I was a finger pointer myself. > > In 2010 they finally passed a law mandating " mentally retarded " be changed to " intellectual disability. " I hope it doesn't take that long with OCD. Meanwhile I guess I have to learn to live with it!! > > Rhonda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 Hi Barb- Those are really helpful experiences, not only for what to say, but for my own thinking. Thanks. Rhonda Re: pet peeve Hi Rhonda, You might want to try " brain-based disorder " . I have started using this myself. It's the physical part of the body that is affected, the brain, which seems to make people think a bit differently. You could use your part of " brain not processing properly " too! I also prefer, mental health, to mental illness. You might use anxiety disorder instead of OCD, if you don't want to get into an explanation. Everyone understands what it is to feel anxious. With intellectual disabilities, I'm familiar with the term developmental delays. I like the idea that there is a delay, so it is not a disability so much as something that needs more time to develop. It really is in how you choose to look at it. Our son has delays, and it helps me to think of them this way. Instead of limitations I wonder what the possibilities will be, because we really don't know. When you develop a comfort level with the OCD, and it becomes just part of your life, you may find the term doesn't bother you as much. I do know what you mean though, and the stigma around all mental health issues can be oppressive and isolating. You will find your way to talk about it, and will start to know who you can be more open with what. Our son's grandfather, when we told him our son had OCD, left the room, then came back and said, " he'll grow out of it! " Both grandparents did not believe in psychologists/psychiatrists, or have any understanding about OCD. I gave them some things to read, and I think that made it worse, because then they were really worried about what kind of life he would have. He did live with them for a period of time and they learned first hand what OCD looked like! Six years later they have learned a lot, and accept without understanding fully, because they love their grandson. All that to say, sometimes they just need time to come to an understanding. They will still say unhelpful things, same as everyone else, wanting to help or give you " the answer " ....that's when forgiveness comes in handy - I learned to forgive people before they opened their mouths, knowing they just could not understand. Maybe your son could come up with a name that describes how the OCD feels to him that would give his grandparents a better understanding and help them be more sympathetic - try " brain terrorist " (our son would use this). Humor is a good way to go The book, Brain Lock, has one of the best explanations of what is going on in the brain with OCD, and how ERP works. They show brain scans to show the changes before and after ERP. This might help them to understand better. Warmly, Barb Canada Son, 20, OCD, PDD-NOS(Delays/LD) > > Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! > > If I could say to Grandma and Grandpa, my son is being treated for glucositis, they would look concerned and sympathetic, rather than nervous and uneasy. It's a double burden for folks with OCD to have to cope with the name as well as the actual condition. Of course I never gave it a thought until my son got it; I was a finger pointer myself. > > In 2010 they finally passed a law mandating " mentally retarded " be changed to " intellectual disability. " I hope it doesn't take that long with OCD. Meanwhile I guess I have to learn to live with it!! > > Rhonda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 Hi Barb- Those are really helpful experiences, not only for what to say, but for my own thinking. Thanks. Rhonda Re: pet peeve Hi Rhonda, You might want to try " brain-based disorder " . I have started using this myself. It's the physical part of the body that is affected, the brain, which seems to make people think a bit differently. You could use your part of " brain not processing properly " too! I also prefer, mental health, to mental illness. You might use anxiety disorder instead of OCD, if you don't want to get into an explanation. Everyone understands what it is to feel anxious. With intellectual disabilities, I'm familiar with the term developmental delays. I like the idea that there is a delay, so it is not a disability so much as something that needs more time to develop. It really is in how you choose to look at it. Our son has delays, and it helps me to think of them this way. Instead of limitations I wonder what the possibilities will be, because we really don't know. When you develop a comfort level with the OCD, and it becomes just part of your life, you may find the term doesn't bother you as much. I do know what you mean though, and the stigma around all mental health issues can be oppressive and isolating. You will find your way to talk about it, and will start to know who you can be more open with what. Our son's grandfather, when we told him our son had OCD, left the room, then came back and said, " he'll grow out of it! " Both grandparents did not believe in psychologists/psychiatrists, or have any understanding about OCD. I gave them some things to read, and I think that made it worse, because then they were really worried about what kind of life he would have. He did live with them for a period of time and they learned first hand what OCD looked like! Six years later they have learned a lot, and accept without understanding fully, because they love their grandson. All that to say, sometimes they just need time to come to an understanding. They will still say unhelpful things, same as everyone else, wanting to help or give you " the answer " ....that's when forgiveness comes in handy - I learned to forgive people before they opened their mouths, knowing they just could not understand. Maybe your son could come up with a name that describes how the OCD feels to him that would give his grandparents a better understanding and help them be more sympathetic - try " brain terrorist " (our son would use this). Humor is a good way to go The book, Brain Lock, has one of the best explanations of what is going on in the brain with OCD, and how ERP works. They show brain scans to show the changes before and after ERP. This might help them to understand better. Warmly, Barb Canada Son, 20, OCD, PDD-NOS(Delays/LD) > > Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! > > If I could say to Grandma and Grandpa, my son is being treated for glucositis, they would look concerned and sympathetic, rather than nervous and uneasy. It's a double burden for folks with OCD to have to cope with the name as well as the actual condition. Of course I never gave it a thought until my son got it; I was a finger pointer myself. > > In 2010 they finally passed a law mandating " mentally retarded " be changed to " intellectual disability. " I hope it doesn't take that long with OCD. Meanwhile I guess I have to learn to live with it!! > > Rhonda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 Hi Barb- Those are really helpful experiences, not only for what to say, but for my own thinking. Thanks. Rhonda Re: pet peeve Hi Rhonda, You might want to try " brain-based disorder " . I have started using this myself. It's the physical part of the body that is affected, the brain, which seems to make people think a bit differently. You could use your part of " brain not processing properly " too! I also prefer, mental health, to mental illness. You might use anxiety disorder instead of OCD, if you don't want to get into an explanation. Everyone understands what it is to feel anxious. With intellectual disabilities, I'm familiar with the term developmental delays. I like the idea that there is a delay, so it is not a disability so much as something that needs more time to develop. It really is in how you choose to look at it. Our son has delays, and it helps me to think of them this way. Instead of limitations I wonder what the possibilities will be, because we really don't know. When you develop a comfort level with the OCD, and it becomes just part of your life, you may find the term doesn't bother you as much. I do know what you mean though, and the stigma around all mental health issues can be oppressive and isolating. You will find your way to talk about it, and will start to know who you can be more open with what. Our son's grandfather, when we told him our son had OCD, left the room, then came back and said, " he'll grow out of it! " Both grandparents did not believe in psychologists/psychiatrists, or have any understanding about OCD. I gave them some things to read, and I think that made it worse, because then they were really worried about what kind of life he would have. He did live with them for a period of time and they learned first hand what OCD looked like! Six years later they have learned a lot, and accept without understanding fully, because they love their grandson. All that to say, sometimes they just need time to come to an understanding. They will still say unhelpful things, same as everyone else, wanting to help or give you " the answer " ....that's when forgiveness comes in handy - I learned to forgive people before they opened their mouths, knowing they just could not understand. Maybe your son could come up with a name that describes how the OCD feels to him that would give his grandparents a better understanding and help them be more sympathetic - try " brain terrorist " (our son would use this). Humor is a good way to go The book, Brain Lock, has one of the best explanations of what is going on in the brain with OCD, and how ERP works. They show brain scans to show the changes before and after ERP. This might help them to understand better. Warmly, Barb Canada Son, 20, OCD, PDD-NOS(Delays/LD) > > Thanks all for taking my rant about my pet peeve with a grain of salt. I guess to clarify - I wish OCD had a name like " glucositis " (brain not properly processing glucose), or " cerebeletus " (cause it's in the brain, right). Both " obsessive " and " compulsive " are negative words whenever used in other contexts - so it brings a load of negativity onto the diagnosis. Imagine if diabetes were called " gluttonous obesitive " - ridiculous! > > If I could say to Grandma and Grandpa, my son is being treated for glucositis, they would look concerned and sympathetic, rather than nervous and uneasy. It's a double burden for folks with OCD to have to cope with the name as well as the actual condition. Of course I never gave it a thought until my son got it; I was a finger pointer myself. > > In 2010 they finally passed a law mandating " mentally retarded " be changed to " intellectual disability. " I hope it doesn't take that long with OCD. Meanwhile I guess I have to learn to live with it!! > > Rhonda > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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