Re: Two questions

[Guest guest]

A lot have found homeschooling just wonderful for their children, or a more

specialized school setting/environment. My only thought is was she content at

school prior to her OCD beginning and causing problems? If happy prior to OCD,

I would encourage her to work on staying. There are different options you can

look at - does she have an IEP or 504 Plan? Either can get her some

accommodations set up for school and schoolwork, have a safe place to go when

she gets anxious, things like that. Also maybe just partial days for school, I

know some have done that (imagine they bring rest of work home) and as she gets

better or wants to try, add another 1/2 hour or period to the day, morning or

afternoon partial days.... Just some thoughts, if you are finding the school

supportive of her.

Therapy - is she willing for you two/family to try working on anything, like a

therapist would?

>

> Hi

> I would like to know what others have found to be a good schooling solution

for a child with OCD. My 11 year old daughter is so unhappy at school, every

morning there is another excuse ( sore tummy, headache etc) as to why she can't

go to school and she will often call me to pick her up. A therapist we were

seeing said that she just has to learn to deal with it because homeschooling

wouldn't help her overcome her difficulties. Does anyone homeschool? What has

been your experience? What about Montessori type school?

>

> My other question is what do you do when a child refuses to go to therapy?

Should I force her to go or will she not benefit if she doesn't want to be

there? I know she needs it, but we have tried a few therapists unsuccessfully

and now she won't go to anyone. I am at a loss as to how to help her.

>

> Thank you,

> Donna.

>

[Guest guest]

I homeschool my child and it has really been a blessing.  I pulled him out at

the end of his 2nd grade year and we are in his 5th grade year now.  He has

ADHD, OCD, and Dyslexia and really needed the one on one.  He also stays busy

with our local homeschool group by going on field trips, art and music class,

swimming, and they have a PE class once a month.  For my son it was the right

choice.  He was so stressed out at school that it brought out his OCD behaviors

a lot more.  Now when he's with other kids he's in a less stressful situation

and can cope a little better and just enjoy himself.

 

Jan K.

________________________________

To: " " < >

Sent: Monday, February 6, 2012 5:44 PM

Subject: Two questions

 

Hi

I would like to know what others have found to be a good schooling solution for

a child with OCD. My 11 year old daughter is so unhappy at school, every morning

there is another excuse ( sore tummy, headache etc) as to why she can't go to

school and she will often call me to pick her up. A therapist we were seeing

said that she just has to learn to deal with it because homeschooling wouldn't

help her overcome her difficulties. Does anyone homeschool? What has been your

experience? What about Montessori type school?

My other question is what do you do when a child refuses to go to therapy?

Should I force her to go or will she not benefit if she doesn't want to be

there? I know she needs it, but we have tried a few therapists unsuccessfully

and now she won't go to anyone. I am at a loss as to how to help her.

Thank you,

Donna.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I started homeschooling my 10year old son in the middle of 4th grade. It has

been a wonderful experience for us. My son's therapist was against the idea but

I believe that was a product of his bias.

My son's OCD makes him seek reassurance constantly. And he got reassurance

from his teacher and the school nurse, which was based on good intentions but

wasn't helping him. Also, he is highly gifted and was very bored in school. We

found that the boredom was extremely stressful to him and provided an opening

for his OCD.

Lastly, in fourth grade some of my son's " quirks, " urges, what have you, were

finally being noticed by other students. I knew that he was well on his way to

becoming a target.

I can talk off list if you want more info on homeschooling. It really has been

good decision for our family.

As far as not wanting to go to therapy, well ....we went through a lot of lousy

therapists (and money) before we found one that knew how to help our son.

If your child is not connecting with the therapist but still needs therapy, I'd

probably look for a new one.

I hope that helps a bit.

>

>

>

> Sent from my iPad

>

[Guest guest]

HI

Thank you to everyone for your responses. It seems like homeschooling is a

good option, despite what therapists have told me.

she has always disliked school, from the time she started at 2 year

old, she has had separation issues. Her anxiety/OCD really manifested when

she was 4. And then the school issues became worse.

Regarding therapy - she doesn't like being different from anyone, so I

don't think she would even go to therapy with me. Someone else suggested

just working on things at home which I am going to try.

Thank you all for being such a great source of support.

Donna.

[Guest guest]

HI

Thank you to everyone for your responses. It seems like homeschooling is a

good option, despite what therapists have told me.

she has always disliked school, from the time she started at 2 year

old, she has had separation issues. Her anxiety/OCD really manifested when

she was 4. And then the school issues became worse.

Regarding therapy - she doesn't like being different from anyone, so I

don't think she would even go to therapy with me. Someone else suggested

just working on things at home which I am going to try.

Thank you all for being such a great source of support.

Donna.

[Guest guest]

I just want to toss out another view. My son has had separation issues since

being very little as well. He had a hard time with it in kindergarten and it

got really bad when my mother died the summer before 1st grade. He spent the

first day of first grade begging the teacher to call me. He probably wanted to

know I was okay, but she felt it wouldn't be a good thing, and he eventually

even thew himself on the floor crying about it. Well, we worked it out. He did

go to a behavior therapist. The one thing that I didn't do is give into his

fears of my not coming back. His were more OCD like in that he seemed to be

obsessed that I would purposely leave him and not come back. If I so much as

opened the car door to stop out to go to a get a newspaper from a newspaper box

or toss something in a garbage can and left him and his twin in the car in full

view of me for a min., he would freak. I am a single mom who actually chose to

have my kids on my own so he knows just how wanted and needed he is, but it

wasn't a rational fear. He had therapy for the separation anxiety in first

grade and it seemed better, but then he got bad social anxiety about being

bullied (which I think was mostly that he is so sensitive he couldn't stomach

kids normal verbal teasing), so I brought him back for more therapy. When his

fears got on the really " crazy " side and he actually told me he had fears that

something would cut our car in half and his half would be separated from mine, I

knew it was time for medication. I found an AMAZING behavior therapist who knew

how to treat such fears, and the medication combined with therapy, plus my

working with the school to help support him regarding his anxiety and feeling

bullied all worked together to where he was doing really well by the spring of

last year. Believe it or not, my son who is now able to go to sleep away camp

for the past two summer for four weeks. Yes, when he first wakes up, he

experiences his anxiety until the others wake up and they do activities, but he

says that those four weeks are the best of the year. This fall he and I decided

that his anxiet/OCD had gotten bad enough that he should go back on medication,

and he again started doing much better.

The thing is that through all of this he was in public school. He was able to

learn that he could cope with the different issues of social anxiety/separation

anxiety/OCD by facing them and learning he could triumph. I think that is

really important. I have severe OCD, and the thing that keeps me moving is not

withdrawing, but working, raising my kids, being on committees, etc. I can't

begin to tell you how bad things are for me right now, but I know if I didn't

put myself out there, rather than not facing things, I would be so much worse.

Thus, this is a long way of saying that while I know many here have felt happy

with their decision to homeschool, I am a voice who believes that the more the

child is not let to give into his fears, the better off he/she is. Being

homeschooled for a kid with separation anxiety to me is doing the opposite of

exposure therapy. I totally acknowledge this is just my own opinion, and I hope

it's okay here expressing it.

re: two questions

HI

Thank you to everyone for your responses. It seems like homeschooling is a

good option, despite what therapists have told me.

she has always disliked school, from the time she started at 2 year

old, she has had separation issues. Her anxiety/OCD really manifested when

she was 4. And then the school issues became worse.

Regarding therapy - she doesn't like being different from anyone, so I

don't think she would even go to therapy with me. Someone else suggested

just working on things at home which I am going to try.

Thank you all for being such a great source of support.

Donna.

[Guest guest]

I just want to toss out another view. My son has had separation issues since

being very little as well. He had a hard time with it in kindergarten and it

got really bad when my mother died the summer before 1st grade. He spent the

first day of first grade begging the teacher to call me. He probably wanted to

know I was okay, but she felt it wouldn't be a good thing, and he eventually

even thew himself on the floor crying about it. Well, we worked it out. He did

go to a behavior therapist. The one thing that I didn't do is give into his

fears of my not coming back. His were more OCD like in that he seemed to be

obsessed that I would purposely leave him and not come back. If I so much as

opened the car door to stop out to go to a get a newspaper from a newspaper box

or toss something in a garbage can and left him and his twin in the car in full

view of me for a min., he would freak. I am a single mom who actually chose to

have my kids on my own so he knows just how wanted and needed he is, but it

wasn't a rational fear. He had therapy for the separation anxiety in first

grade and it seemed better, but then he got bad social anxiety about being

bullied (which I think was mostly that he is so sensitive he couldn't stomach

kids normal verbal teasing), so I brought him back for more therapy. When his

fears got on the really " crazy " side and he actually told me he had fears that

something would cut our car in half and his half would be separated from mine, I

knew it was time for medication. I found an AMAZING behavior therapist who knew

how to treat such fears, and the medication combined with therapy, plus my

working with the school to help support him regarding his anxiety and feeling

bullied all worked together to where he was doing really well by the spring of

last year. Believe it or not, my son who is now able to go to sleep away camp

for the past two summer for four weeks. Yes, when he first wakes up, he

experiences his anxiety until the others wake up and they do activities, but he

says that those four weeks are the best of the year. This fall he and I decided

that his anxiet/OCD had gotten bad enough that he should go back on medication,

and he again started doing much better.

The thing is that through all of this he was in public school. He was able to

learn that he could cope with the different issues of social anxiety/separation

anxiety/OCD by facing them and learning he could triumph. I think that is

really important. I have severe OCD, and the thing that keeps me moving is not

withdrawing, but working, raising my kids, being on committees, etc. I can't

begin to tell you how bad things are for me right now, but I know if I didn't

put myself out there, rather than not facing things, I would be so much worse.

Thus, this is a long way of saying that while I know many here have felt happy

with their decision to homeschool, I am a voice who believes that the more the

child is not let to give into his fears, the better off he/she is. Being

homeschooled for a kid with separation anxiety to me is doing the opposite of

exposure therapy. I totally acknowledge this is just my own opinion, and I hope

it's okay here expressing it.

re: two questions

HI

Thank you to everyone for your responses. It seems like homeschooling is a

good option, despite what therapists have told me.

she has always disliked school, from the time she started at 2 year

old, she has had separation issues. Her anxiety/OCD really manifested when

she was 4. And then the school issues became worse.

Regarding therapy - she doesn't like being different from anyone, so I

don't think she would even go to therapy with me. Someone else suggested

just working on things at home which I am going to try.

Thank you all for being such a great source of support.

Donna.

[Guest guest]

Hi Donna,

I hesitate to chime in because you've already received so many insightful and

varying suggestions. Also, I don't know all of the details of why your dd

doesn't want to go to school. I'm assuming she is triggered a lot at school as

my daughter is. Sometimes I bring up topics I read on this site with my 14 year

old dd as a way to get her to talk with me about herself. She had a pretty

strong opinion on whether to stay in school or be home schooled so I am posting.

Granted this is her opinion and I don't think either of us would have survived

homeschooling so...it's one more thought.

She believes it is best to stay in school and work on the OCD with professional

support. This comes from a girl who missed practically her entire 3rd trimester

of school last year and spent her 1st trimester this year at . It can be

terribly hard to face everything at school. There are days she comes home

looking very frazzled and exhausted. But there are also days that she comes home

with a smile. She says she now understands that you have to face the fears if

you want to work on beating your OCD. (She also has a 504 for accommodations she

needs to help be more successful at school too)

Finally, if your daughter is not clicking with her therapist then I agreed with

the others - keep looking! From what I've read I think many of us have learned

the hard way that sticking with the wrong or ineffective therapist costs time,

money, and unfortunately allows the OCD to grow. My daughter was in denial about

her OCD for a long time. Then we found someone who specializes in OCD. My dd

refused to talk so my husband and I saw the therapist while she sat in the

lobby. The therapist taught us to stop accommodating the OCD so my dd would see

the impact it was having on her life. That is when she finally bottomed out and

asked for help. It wasn't pleasant, it was probably the worst time of our lives.

But it was the turning point for her to want to get treatment.

Hang in there! And best wishes to your family!

K

>

> Hi

> I would like to know what others have found to be a good schooling solution

for a child with OCD. My 11 year old daughter is so unhappy at school, every

morning there is another excuse ( sore tummy, headache etc) as to why she can't

go to school and she will often call