Re: what help to ask for in school-to help very anxious/OCD 13 yr old

March 14, 2012

Hi Maree,

Â

I am in the same boat with my 10 year old son. He has missed a lot of school

this year due to the OCD and separation anxiety.

I finally met with the school psychologist, assistant principal and his teacher.

We all decided to modify his day down to 3hrs

9-12. We started my son on medication six weeks ago and have seen a big

improvement with compulsions (he's on zoloft)

The doctor is still playing with the dosage - he has been on 75mgs for about a

week. His therapyÂ doesn't start for another month

because the therapist had no openings.

Â

Homework is a real challange for us - what takes 30 mins takes my son 2 hours.

He just shuts down. Again, the modified day is temporary until everything

is in sync. The teacher has let the homework slide so if he can't do it, he is

not held accountable.

Â

We may even consider an IEP as we have no idea how the future will play out. I

hope to God that it will get better and not worse. Sometimes

I get scared reading some of these poor families stories.

Â

Hang in there.

Â

Jacinta

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 1:00 PM

Subject: what help to ask for in school-to help very

anxious/OCD 13 yr old

Â

hi,

just about to have meeting with SEN co-ordinator, head of year and form tutor,

and his anxiety counsellor at my sons school about his diagnosis and how the

school can help, so would appreciate any ideas from all of you who have already

gone down this route about how they can help him manage his days, and work at

school, he is new to the school, and they say they dont see many of the

behaviors ive mentioned, but its there he can just hide it really well with

strangers, and always awful when he gets home, there seems to be some teasing by

other pupils but my son does not want this mentioned at all-any thoughts there

much appreciated,thank you maree

March 14, 2012

Hi Maree, just some random thoughts, perhaps some will fit for your son.

If he has trouble with change/transitions that he's not expecting, he may need

some type of early warning, prompting, that the daily routine will be changed on

some particular day. Example, one student I know of got very upset when the

regular schedule changed because they were having a school assembly that day;

early prompting on previous day, earlier in the week, or even that morning might

have prevented it. Also, they shouldn't just " assume " he'll know what to do in

situations, he may need prompting/instructions.

He may get overwhelmed with too many instructions given at one time and need

things broken down into " steps " .

Where OCD affects him in the classroom, let them know some of the ways. Same

with classwork and even homework. What he can do at school with work, he may

not be able to at home, because OCD " comes out " at home and interferes with his

ability to do his homework.

He may need a safe place or person to go to when his anxiety is up. Some may

have a person (school nurse or secretary or counselor...) or a place, like the

library.... Some place they can go until their anxiety eases up and they can

return to classroom.

was disorganized. I had folders with pockets in them for each subject.

And at night I'd go through them and make sure his homework and classwork were

in the proper place and that he had turned in work (sometimes he just didn't

hand things in!).

OCD affected his writing and his reading, so we came up with accommodations for

those. Also he could bring home any unfinished work. And he wasn't timed on

tests, could work until he was finished.

He could write short answers (words vs sentences) on some work.

Let them know he is an easy target for bullying/teasing and you want them to

watch out for that.

If they do a lot of " group work " in the room (kids get in groups to work on some

task), ask them to make sure he is in a group or maybe the teachers can choose

groups, put the kids in them, partner them, and not let kids choose....

Some quick thoughts,

>

> hi,

> just about to have meeting with SEN co-ordinator, head of year and form tutor,

and his anxiety counsellor at my sons school about his diagnosis and how the

school can help, so would appreciate any ideas from all of you who have already

gone down this route about how they can help him manage his days, and work at

school, he is new to the school, and they say they dont see many of the

behaviors ive mentioned, but its there he can just hide it really well with

strangers, and always awful when he gets home, there seems to be some teasing by

other pupils but my son does not want this mentioned at all-any thoughts there

much appreciated,thank you maree

>

March 15, 2012

thank you ladies,

all of this fits and will help me in the meeting.

Jacinta Im not aware that the school has a psychologist on board, that must have

been a big help, they sounded very understanding, i feel that the teachers are

less aware with my son as he doesnt show much to them, so i will have to make a

list of things but dont want it all to sound so negative and that he had so many

problems, the shorter days must be helping, we have quite long days 9-4.10, so

maybe that may be an ask too........ah the homework, I can only say its been one

of the biggest struggles we have, Im wondering to ask if he can do it AT

school,as it is awful at home, and takes up much time, must ask therapist about

meds for my son, he has been getting talking therapy for some time, but slow

progress, and new things keep popping up,he is being bullied in and out of

school, and things are tough, so maybe that would be another thing to look

at,good luck with your sons therapist when it comes. Im gathering you are in

Uk as you mentioned IEP, not 504, we are too and will discuss that as well?

And yes the future holds much to think about but we are doing what we can now to

help,I just get so sad that my son cant enjoy his childhood at this time because

of all these worries that take over and how hard it is for him to control.

yes we have that thing with panic when changes to routine happen, so will

inform of that, usually he will phone me so they are not aware or see his

anxiety, also giving instructions in steps would help so much, do you find

trying to explain how the OCD comes out at home more is tricky? school say they

dont see the OCDs I feel they dont believe me??In fact lots of people say it, so

just makes things harder ,he had a safe place in his last school, doesnt seem to

be anything like that here, seethat if can be put in place, and yes the

dis-organisation is a BIG problem every day, yesterday we talked about packing

the PE kit so many times(i dont want to do it, so that he gets used to doing on

his own,of course forgot it,i ask him to get bag ready every night before bed,

mostly he cannot do this) we have folders but if i dont do it he wont, so maybe

I need to start overseeing that again, Ive let it slip as have been recovering

from a big surgery myself and have let some things go!! the homework he has

just said he cannot do it sometimes and Ive sent a note, as it causes so much

stress/tears between us, and trying to avoid that scene every night, maybe if I

get involved again in helping, but mostly he does not want me too, he hides the

diary, or says its already done!?!

Ive noticed when he has answered in short sentences, or groups of words it has

been marked wrong, so again asking how they can help there, as he really

stuggles with the handwriting, its in his brain but cant get it all down, or

rubs out/scribbles over and ends up really messy,they dont see it as an OCD!!

but iv already told them, some words he has to totally fill in, so takes so so

long!

I have had no contact with SEN people at school so no idea how they work but

will find out at meeting, the actual fact of the meeting is causing my son

anxiety and panic as he thinks its going to be something bad no matter how i

explain it is to help him, they wanted him to be there but i said no, he is too

stressed and will be too many adults in one room for him to cope with, again

feel they have no insight there that that would be very difficult for

him,aaargh.....!!

Sorry, this has been such a long post, and many many thanks for all your

suggestions, really great to have some support to get through these things x

maree

>

> Hi Maree,

> Â

> I am in the same boat with my 10 year old son. He has missed a lot of school

this year due to the OCD and separation anxiety.

> I finally met with the school psychologist, assistant principal and his

teacher. We all decided to modify his day down to 3hrs

> 9-12. We started my son on medication six weeks ago and have seen a big

improvement with compulsions (he's on zoloft)

> The doctor is still playing with the dosage - he has been on 75mgs for about a

week. His therapyÂ doesn't start for another month

> because the therapist had no openings.

> Â

> Homework is a real challange for us - what takes 30 mins takes my son 2 hours.

He just shuts down. Again, the modified day is temporary until everything

> is in sync. The teacher has let the homework slide so if he can't do it, he is

not held accountable.

> Â

> We may even consider an IEP as we have no idea how the future will play out. I

hope to God that it will get better and not worse. Sometimes

> I get scared reading some of these poor families stories.

> Â

> Hang in there.

> Â

> Jacinta

>

> ________________________________

>

> To:

> Sent: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 1:00 PM

> Subject: what help to ask for in school-to help very