Guest guest Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 Does he have to attend this school or is there a less competitive option for him? Competition does not work well with my son. Roy has had to modify his goals/dreams b/c of his OCD/anxiety. Homework is still dif. at 17 so he has a resource built in his day. Can that be an option for him so he can work on his homework maybe at the end of his school day. Bigger projects he works on during the weekend, not saved up til Sun pm. That just makes a preassure cooker. And no sleepovers Sat. pm and no planned activities Sunday. That gives him the flexibility to choose when he does his homework .. If he has home work during the week, he has always done better with doing it on the way home in the car or bus or when he gets home. If he waits til after supper, it is a struggle. The pdoc nurse told me to have him do 10 min. then get u't work p and take a break and go back at it. Didn't work for us but that could work. in WI- PT in schools Roy-17, 504 doing well this term with extra resource, reg. math, morning all tech. classes. ADD,OCD/Anxiety/Depression. Busbar,Fluoxetine, Adderall XR. > ** > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of > homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get > intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then > makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so > frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. > I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and > will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My > husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of > picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We > generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking > point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had > been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive > Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders > are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We > are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like > ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve > for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a > round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and > activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than > them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would > love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have > suggestions, I am all for them! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 I have totally been in your shoes. When our son was in 6th grade, we made an arrangement whereby I would join my son in the classroom right after the end of school and sit somewhere apart from him while he did homework. I had to be there because the teacher was in and out of the room in the hour after school and they didn't want a kid unsupervised. So he would get some homework done before we left for home. But the minute we left, he would melt down. Doing any further homework at home was pure torture for all. By 8th grade, he wasn't able to attend school at all due to out-of-control anxiety and depression (he has OCD as part of bipolar). I truly don't remember what we did for the rest of that year. We watched a lot of comedy DVDs (kind of like you do when your child is sick with the flu or the chicken pox--just to get thru it). Instead of high school, he ended up taking classes at our local Community College. Some semesters it was just one academic class and one fitness class. (Your son isn't to that age yet, but people should keep their Community College in mind. So many kids enter college with skills as far behind as 7th grade level that they have lots of remedial classes available.) Anyway, skipping ahead, my son obtained his GED last spring when he would have graduated from high school and he entered college this fall. A med was finally found that helped his bipolar and he's making ongoing progress in CBT-ERP with a psychologist who specializes in OCD. He's taking about half the number of credits as the typical freshman. And, yes, he does struggle with feeling 'less than', but then he rallies and rejoices in having made it to college and semi-independence. It's a dream come true! The point of my long-winded story is that sometimes our kids are so adversely affected by their illness that at times they cannot achieve as much in school as would the typical kid. You can torture him and the whole family by struggling with homework every night or you can consider opting for better quality of life. OCD is so very distracting! Doing what should take 10 minutes can easily take hours if you are spending most of the time wrestling with whatever OCD is dishing out at the time. Once your son gets better, he will be able to accomplish much more in much less time. An analogy: what if a child has cancer: he cannot get much homework done because he is distracted by fatigue or nausea or pain or just being overwhelmed. No one would think twice about reducing academic expectations during the times that he's not up to it, right? Getting better and maintaining positive quality of life in the meantime is what's important while he's ill. How do you accomplish arrangements for reduced homework? (Or NO homework!) For that, the 504 might work-- or it might need an IEP. But it can be done. Oh--and try not to worry ahead of time (like about 4th grade or college or grandchildren). You just have to keep taking one leap of faith after another--that it's gonna get better even though you don't know when or how. > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 I have totally been in your shoes. When our son was in 6th grade, we made an arrangement whereby I would join my son in the classroom right after the end of school and sit somewhere apart from him while he did homework. I had to be there because the teacher was in and out of the room in the hour after school and they didn't want a kid unsupervised. So he would get some homework done before we left for home. But the minute we left, he would melt down. Doing any further homework at home was pure torture for all. By 8th grade, he wasn't able to attend school at all due to out-of-control anxiety and depression (he has OCD as part of bipolar). I truly don't remember what we did for the rest of that year. We watched a lot of comedy DVDs (kind of like you do when your child is sick with the flu or the chicken pox--just to get thru it). Instead of high school, he ended up taking classes at our local Community College. Some semesters it was just one academic class and one fitness class. (Your son isn't to that age yet, but people should keep their Community College in mind. So many kids enter college with skills as far behind as 7th grade level that they have lots of remedial classes available.) Anyway, skipping ahead, my son obtained his GED last spring when he would have graduated from high school and he entered college this fall. A med was finally found that helped his bipolar and he's making ongoing progress in CBT-ERP with a psychologist who specializes in OCD. He's taking about half the number of credits as the typical freshman. And, yes, he does struggle with feeling 'less than', but then he rallies and rejoices in having made it to college and semi-independence. It's a dream come true! The point of my long-winded story is that sometimes our kids are so adversely affected by their illness that at times they cannot achieve as much in school as would the typical kid. You can torture him and the whole family by struggling with homework every night or you can consider opting for better quality of life. OCD is so very distracting! Doing what should take 10 minutes can easily take hours if you are spending most of the time wrestling with whatever OCD is dishing out at the time. Once your son gets better, he will be able to accomplish much more in much less time. An analogy: what if a child has cancer: he cannot get much homework done because he is distracted by fatigue or nausea or pain or just being overwhelmed. No one would think twice about reducing academic expectations during the times that he's not up to it, right? Getting better and maintaining positive quality of life in the meantime is what's important while he's ill. How do you accomplish arrangements for reduced homework? (Or NO homework!) For that, the 504 might work-- or it might need an IEP. But it can be done. Oh--and try not to worry ahead of time (like about 4th grade or college or grandchildren). You just have to keep taking one leap of faith after another--that it's gonna get better even though you don't know when or how. > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 Thanks, and . This year we just switched schools and he actually has gotten more comfortable so I don't want to make another major change just when he has gotten used to a bigger environment, class apart from this brothers, etc. I might consider putting the boys all back together next year though. Just having his brothers in the same class may make him feel more secure. This is the first year that we separated them because we felt like they needed some own space to individuate. The other two are fine and enjoying the change, but not my anxious guy. We do have some homework modifications...but he works himself into a frenzy before he even pulls out his backpack. The mere mention of homework brings tears to his eyes. Maybe I should consider seeing if we can stay at school and do the homework there. He does keep it together and performs at school. He doesn't qualify for an IEP because his grades are actually still OK and they don't feel like his academics are impaired that much...I mean, they do recognize his freezing up at tests and compulsive slowness with assignments but have made some accommodations for those in the classroom. The Science teacher said she does not pick up any problems in her classes with him and he is an A student in that subject matter. He works *so* hard to keep it together and act as if everything is OK when he is at school. He is so embarrassed and ashamed of having OCD and is exhausted with the amount of effort it takes to cover up. Our principal has suggested not having him do more than 30 min of homework...but when he takes the 30 min to avoid and is just melting down, well, that's not really 30 min. I choose my battles. There are some things I just don't bother having him do...he got a C on a journal entry and was given the opportunity to redo it...the teacher encouraged us to have him redo and I was like, " nope. We'll take the C. " Not a battle I was willing to fight...I try to prioritize..because, like you said, we need some quality of life. The medication has been such a slow process. He had really adverse reactions to the SSRI's so we have had to go a different route. Trying trileptal to see if we can take the edge off of his depression...but he is such a slow metabolizer that we are going at a snail's pace. We started to think it was taking the edge off but I know he needs to bump up. I have OCD myself and the SSRI's have saved my life. I wish that were the case for him. > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 Thanks, and . This year we just switched schools and he actually has gotten more comfortable so I don't want to make another major change just when he has gotten used to a bigger environment, class apart from this brothers, etc. I might consider putting the boys all back together next year though. Just having his brothers in the same class may make him feel more secure. This is the first year that we separated them because we felt like they needed some own space to individuate. The other two are fine and enjoying the change, but not my anxious guy. We do have some homework modifications...but he works himself into a frenzy before he even pulls out his backpack. The mere mention of homework brings tears to his eyes. Maybe I should consider seeing if we can stay at school and do the homework there. He does keep it together and performs at school. He doesn't qualify for an IEP because his grades are actually still OK and they don't feel like his academics are impaired that much...I mean, they do recognize his freezing up at tests and compulsive slowness with assignments but have made some accommodations for those in the classroom. The Science teacher said she does not pick up any problems in her classes with him and he is an A student in that subject matter. He works *so* hard to keep it together and act as if everything is OK when he is at school. He is so embarrassed and ashamed of having OCD and is exhausted with the amount of effort it takes to cover up. Our principal has suggested not having him do more than 30 min of homework...but when he takes the 30 min to avoid and is just melting down, well, that's not really 30 min. I choose my battles. There are some things I just don't bother having him do...he got a C on a journal entry and was given the opportunity to redo it...the teacher encouraged us to have him redo and I was like, " nope. We'll take the C. " Not a battle I was willing to fight...I try to prioritize..because, like you said, we need some quality of life. The medication has been such a slow process. He had really adverse reactions to the SSRI's so we have had to go a different route. Trying trileptal to see if we can take the edge off of his depression...but he is such a slow metabolizer that we are going at a snail's pace. We started to think it was taking the edge off but I know he needs to bump up. I have OCD myself and the SSRI's have saved my life. I wish that were the case for him. > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 I am a retired teacher and I had a really hard time letting go of the idea that I was best suited to help my DD with her homework. The battles were so ridiculous. If she had a questions wrong and didn't understand it (math), I had about a 5 second window to explain it to her before she would meltdown and verbally attack me. I couldn't use terminology different from the teacher's words. It was awful and by the time she was a freshman with final exams, I finally understood that I was not the person to help with homework. I got a tutor and our lives were saved. I also know Huntington has a program where students drop by after school to do their homework. It seemed ridiculous to me that we needed this type of intervention but then a lot of the OCD stuff seems ridiculous when I'm not looking at it through my daughter's eyes. I have never expected " perfection " but my DD " feels " that if she can't do a problem, why would I love her? The homework was all about our relationship and the homework was ruining our relationship. Of course it was about control too. So, if I distance myself and just have the simple rule that I won't take her anywhere until she does an equal amount of homework or responsibility (if she doesn't have homework) that works for us. Also, if her grades fall below a " B " , AND, she hasn't studied 30 min. then she has a consequence. She still " takes her chances " with tests and often has to have a consequence but she accepts that. Now, a year later, she is willing to accept some help on homework (I no longer have the skill to help with math. :-) ) especially if we do the homework the next morning before school. She is not a morning person but that includes not the energy to fight me on homework. She is amazingly agreeable to things in the morning. Go figure. The reports from the teachers state she is hard working, motivated, pleasant and articulate in class. She will always do her homework, just not " with me or to my satisfaction " . In the big picture, she's 95% the ideal student. Her standardized test scores are in the gutter. Again, I'm not sure why. She doesn't appear that anxious but I believe that if she doesn't know an answer instantly, she panics and her limbic system takes over. So, we have had to readjust our expectations for college. She will most likely start at a community college so we don't have to deal with ACT scores. Emotionally, I don't think she would be ready for a 4 year school so this will probably turn out to be the best route. It is a shame that education relies on multiple choice, high stakes test to such a degree. They are not a good predictor of success in life. My DD has many wonderful qualities that I hope will bring her happiness and success. This will be more likely if she can feel less pressure in high school and more success. I can help her accomplish this by accommodations at school and at home. Dorelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 So, doing the math, I think your son is in the 3rd grade? 3rd grade was the hardest grade ever for my dd. She has ADHD and OCD. The OCD symptoms started in 3rd grade, but I didn't know that it was OCD until the summer before 7th grade. I remember sitting in a teachers conference crying over how she was struggling. And YES, homework time was a nightmare. At the time, I was engaged to be married and my fiance ended up being the one to help with homework because for some reason she took direction better than him. By 4th grade though, she no longer needed a lot of help. 5th and 6th grade were good also. She is in a regular public school but she is group with advanced students, so she is challenged a lot. > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 So, doing the math, I think your son is in the 3rd grade? 3rd grade was the hardest grade ever for my dd. She has ADHD and OCD. The OCD symptoms started in 3rd grade, but I didn't know that it was OCD until the summer before 7th grade. I remember sitting in a teachers conference crying over how she was struggling. And YES, homework time was a nightmare. At the time, I was engaged to be married and my fiance ended up being the one to help with homework because for some reason she took direction better than him. By 4th grade though, she no longer needed a lot of help. 5th and 6th grade were good also. She is in a regular public school but she is group with advanced students, so she is challenged a lot. > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Sorry...continued from previous post...hit the trigger too quickly Summer before 7th grade though, when puberty set in, her OCD went off the charts and that's when we realized it was OCD. So this year has been a real struggle. To us, it feels like we are repeating 3rd grade. At this point, I have just decided that it is not worth it to stress over the homework. She just does her best and I don't freak out over her grades which have not been good this year. I told her that her health is the most important thing right now and that we need to make sure she can manage her anxiety and we will worry about grades later. I told her that the grades don't really matter anyway until 9th grade. That's just the way that we are dealing with it. > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Yes! Another benefit of taking some credits at the community college 1st is that you can become a transfer student and not have to take the ACTs. For our state university, my son needed 30 credits from the community college to apply as a transfer student (and not have to take the ACTs). Most of those 30 credits were from pre-college-level courses (high school level English and math classes), but they still counted. > I am a retired teacher and I had a really hard time letting go of the idea that I was best suited to help my DD with her homework. The battles were so ridiculous. If she had a questions wrong and didn't understand it (math), I had about a 5 second window to explain it to her before she would meltdown and verbally attack me. I couldn't use terminology different from the teacher's words. It was awful and by the time she was a freshman with final exams, I finally understood that I was not the person to help with homework. I got a tutor and our lives were saved. I also know Huntington has a program where students drop by after school to do their homework. It seemed ridiculous to me that we needed this type of intervention but then a lot of the OCD stuff seems ridiculous when I'm not looking at it through my daughter's eyes. > > I have never expected " perfection " but my DD " feels " that if she can't do a problem, why would I love her? The homework was all about our relationship and the homework was ruining our relationship. Of course it was about control too. So, if I distance myself and just have the simple rule that I won't take her anywhere until she does an equal amount of homework or responsibility (if she doesn't have homework) that works for us. Also, if her grades fall below a " B " , AND, she hasn't studied 30 min. then she has a consequence. She still " takes her chances " with tests and often has to have a consequence but she accepts that. > > Now, a year later, she is willing to accept some help on homework (I no longer have the skill to help with math. :-) ) especially if we do the homework the next morning before school. She is not a morning person but that includes not the energy to fight me on homework. She is amazingly agreeable to things in the morning. Go figure. > > The reports from the teachers state she is hard working, motivated, pleasant and articulate in class. She will always do her homework, just not " with me or to my satisfaction " . In the big picture, she's 95% the ideal student. Her standardized test scores are in the gutter. Again, I'm not sure why. She doesn't appear that anxious but I believe that if she doesn't know an answer instantly, she panics and her limbic system takes over. So, we have had to readjust our expectations for college. She will most likely start at a community college so we don't have to deal with ACT scores. Emotionally, I don't think she would be ready for a 4 year school so this will probably turn out to be the best route. It is a shame that education relies on multiple choice, high stakes test to such a degree. They are not a good predictor of success in life. My DD has many wonderful qualities that I hope will bring her happiness and success. This will be more likely if she can feel less pressure in high school and more success. I can help her accomplish this by accommodations at school and at home. > > Dorelle > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Anyone see OCD become way worse when traveling and on a vacation? Anyone have suggestions on how to lower anxiety when preparing for a plane ride for vacation. My daughter is 7 and when we took her to Disney she has all these compulsions. That is when we knew it was serious. Will that happen every time we travel? Sent from my iPhone On Mar 5, 2012, at 7:36 AM, " melissaandamy " wrote: > > Sorry...continued from previous post...hit the trigger too quickly > > Summer before 7th grade though, when puberty set in, her OCD went off the charts and that's when we realized it was OCD. So this year has been a real struggle. To us, it feels like we are repeating 3rd grade. At this point, I have just decided that it is not worth it to stress over the homework. She just does her best and I don't freak out over her grades which have not been good this year. I told her that her health is the most important thing right now and that we need to make sure she can manage her anxiety and we will worry about grades later. I told her that the grades don't really matter anyway until 9th grade. > > That's just the way that we are dealing with it. > > > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > > > > > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo! > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity event does the unthinkable. > Privacy Policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Anyone see OCD become way worse when traveling and on a vacation? Anyone have suggestions on how to lower anxiety when preparing for a plane ride for vacation. My daughter is 7 and when we took her to Disney she has all these compulsions. That is when we knew it was serious. Will that happen every time we travel? Sent from my iPhone On Mar 5, 2012, at 7:36 AM, " melissaandamy " wrote: > > Sorry...continued from previous post...hit the trigger too quickly > > Summer before 7th grade though, when puberty set in, her OCD went off the charts and that's when we realized it was OCD. So this year has been a real struggle. To us, it feels like we are repeating 3rd grade. At this point, I have just decided that it is not worth it to stress over the homework. She just does her best and I don't freak out over her grades which have not been good this year. I told her that her health is the most important thing right now and that we need to make sure she can manage her anxiety and we will worry about grades later. I told her that the grades don't really matter anyway until 9th grade. > > That's just the way that we are dealing with it. > > > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > > > > > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo! > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity event does the unthinkable. > Privacy Policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 My dd's OCD comes and goes on vacations. It isnt her usual things she worries about, but more about losing or forgetting something where we are. Making a list of her special things helps, then she can check things off when we pack to leave. Sharon ________________________________ To: " " < > Cc: " " < > Sent: Monday, March 5, 2012 1:19 PM Subject: Re: Re: homework frustration  Anyone see OCD become way worse when traveling and on a vacation? Anyone have suggestions on how to lower anxiety when preparing for a plane ride for vacation. My daughter is 7 and when we took her to Disney she has all these compulsions. That is when we knew it was serious. Will that happen every time we travel? Sent from my iPhone On Mar 5, 2012, at 7:36 AM, " melissaandamy " wrote: > > Sorry...continued from previous post...hit the trigger too quickly > > Summer before 7th grade though, when puberty set in, her OCD went off the charts and that's when we realized it was OCD. So this year has been a real struggle. To us, it feels like we are repeating 3rd grade. At this point, I have just decided that it is not worth it to stress over the homework. She just does her best and I don't freak out over her grades which have not been good this year. I told her that her health is the most important thing right now and that we need to make sure she can manage her anxiety and we will worry about grades later. I told her that the grades don't really matter anyway until 9th grade. > > That's just the way that we are dealing with it. > > > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > > > > > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo! > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity event does the unthinkable. > Privacy Policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 We have troubles, too. It is that dd feels overwhelmed and that she cant do it. She is very smart. There is no reason she cannot sit down and do the work. Sometimes it is just that she doesnt want to be alone (that is a big worry of hers) and wants someone there with her. Other times she THINKS she isnt doing it right, but really is. So I do understand. Sharon ________________________________ To: Sent: Sunday, March 4, 2012 6:05 PM Subject: homework frustration  Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 I always remind all of the kids that I do not even remember what grades I got in third grade...yet here I am with a Master's Degree. I think it's this delicate balance between wanting him to have a quality of life that is good but also holding him accountable. I guess the OCD has resulted in him feeling depressed which is why he just is not motivated. I appreciate all of your stories and hearing that I am not alone in this. My husband and I are going to try and arrange having someone do homework with him (other than us) at least 3 days a week. Maybe this will help minimize some of the family stress at the very least...and I am sure we will be bumping up his meds after our appointment on Wed. > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 ,  Thanks for your input. My son is 10 years old and struggling with going to school, my husband's says the same thing you say " if it were cancer, then we would just want him to get better. " This analogy has set me straight, although I still have my " moments " to myself about the future, etc.  Thanks for sharing. JJ ________________________________ To: Sent: Sunday, March 4, 2012 7:54 PM Subject: Re: homework frustration I have totally been in your shoes. When our son was in 6th grade, we made an arrangement whereby I would join my son in the classroom right after the end of school and sit somewhere apart from him while he did homework. I had to be there because the teacher was in and out of the room in the hour after school and they didn't want a kid unsupervised. So he would get some homework done before we left for home. But the minute we left, he would melt down. Doing any further homework at home was pure torture for all. By 8th grade, he wasn't able to attend school at all due to out-of-control anxiety and depression (he has OCD as part of bipolar). I truly don't remember what we did for the rest of that year. We watched a lot of comedy DVDs (kind of like you do when your child is sick with the flu or the chicken pox--just to get thru it). Instead of high school, he ended up taking classes at our local Community College. Some semesters it was just one academic class and one fitness class. (Your son isn't to that age yet, but people should keep their Community College in mind. So many kids enter college with skills as far behind as 7th grade level that they have lots of remedial classes available.) Anyway, skipping ahead, my son obtained his GED last spring when he would have graduated from high school and he entered college this fall. A med was finally found that helped his bipolar and he's making ongoing progress in CBT-ERP with a psychologist who specializes in OCD. He's taking about half the number of credits as the typical freshman. And, yes, he does struggle with feeling 'less than', but then he rallies and rejoices in having made it to college and semi-independence. It's a dream come true! The point of my long-winded story is that sometimes our kids are so adversely affected by their illness that at times they cannot achieve as much in school as would the typical kid. You can torture him and the whole family by struggling with homework every night or you can consider opting for better quality of life. OCD is so very distracting! Doing what should take 10 minutes can easily take hours if you are spending most of the time wrestling with whatever OCD is dishing out at the time. Once your son gets better, he will be able to accomplish much more in much less time. An analogy: what if a child has cancer: he cannot get much homework done because he is distracted by fatigue or nausea or pain or just being overwhelmed. No one would think twice about reducing academic expectations during the times that he's not up to it, right? Getting better and maintaining positive quality of life in the meantime is what's important while he's ill. How do you accomplish arrangements for reduced homework? (Or NO homework!) For that, the 504 might work-- or it might need an IEP. But it can be done. Oh--and try not to worry ahead of time (like about 4th grade or college or grandchildren). You just have to keep taking one leap of faith after another--that it's gonna get better even though you don't know when or how. > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Loretta, I had a very similar experience with my son in third grade. When I say I feel your pain I truly do. My son has (still but under control) the intrusive " bad thoughts " type of OCD. There were times in 3rd grade he could not even read a sentence (and he is an avid reader) because of the intrusive thoughts. We took him to an OCD expert and did Exposure Response Prevention. Have you tried that? I couldn't believe it, but it actually worked for his " bad thoughts " OCD and urges. And they were very bad and very intrusive and consistent. I saw that you mentioned that your son is taking meds, is he also doing Exposure Response Prevention...because it actually changed my son's life. And when I first went to therapy I was quite convinced nothing would help my child. I know it is considered effective in studies also. Also, I understand how frustrated you are with the homework. I think studies are showing that homework doesn't matter until middle school. In your son's case, it seems to be doing him more harm then good at this point in his OCD. The fact that your son holds it together all day in school is probably something more then most people could do. We took an unconventional approach to our son's situation. I should add that in addition to OCD, our son is also gifted. Because school was a major stressor and his educational needs were not being met, we started homeschooling him in 4th grade...against the advice of our therapist and something that I never ever wanted to do. For us, it has been the best decision we could have made for our child. He is doing great, his OCD is under control, he is learning, he has confidence in himself and is (most of the time) happy. Yes, he still has OCD. He still asks me for reassurance from time to time...but unlike his teachers who feed into the OCD...I can tell him I'm not talking to OCD. I know my response may not be of help to you, but your family seems to be in such a cycle of stress and your son is having such a hard time...that I just wanted to let you know that there are other options (albeit unconventional) out there. Best of luck to you and your child. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Loretta, I had a very similar experience with my son in third grade. When I say I feel your pain I truly do. My son has (still but under control) the intrusive " bad thoughts " type of OCD. There were times in 3rd grade he could not even read a sentence (and he is an avid reader) because of the intrusive thoughts. We took him to an OCD expert and did Exposure Response Prevention. Have you tried that? I couldn't believe it, but it actually worked for his " bad thoughts " OCD and urges. And they were very bad and very intrusive and consistent. I saw that you mentioned that your son is taking meds, is he also doing Exposure Response Prevention...because it actually changed my son's life. And when I first went to therapy I was quite convinced nothing would help my child. I know it is considered effective in studies also. Also, I understand how frustrated you are with the homework. I think studies are showing that homework doesn't matter until middle school. In your son's case, it seems to be doing him more harm then good at this point in his OCD. The fact that your son holds it together all day in school is probably something more then most people could do. We took an unconventional approach to our son's situation. I should add that in addition to OCD, our son is also gifted. Because school was a major stressor and his educational needs were not being met, we started homeschooling him in 4th grade...against the advice of our therapist and something that I never ever wanted to do. For us, it has been the best decision we could have made for our child. He is doing great, his OCD is under control, he is learning, he has confidence in himself and is (most of the time) happy. Yes, he still has OCD. He still asks me for reassurance from time to time...but unlike his teachers who feed into the OCD...I can tell him I'm not talking to OCD. I know my response may not be of help to you, but your family seems to be in such a cycle of stress and your son is having such a hard time...that I just wanted to let you know that there are other options (albeit unconventional) out there. Best of luck to you and your child. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Hi Loretta, I see you got a lot of replies already. Was wondering, is OCD the reason you're helping with the homework, and if so how OCD is affecting it (other than the thoughts about you). Just asking, as I had to do the reading to and writing for him in middle school. How does the therapist/doc recommend to handle the thoughts/curse words? And, at his age, does he know a lot of actual curse words? Was wondering how offended you'd be about them, some families use curse words, some don't. Thinking of exposures.... > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 Hi Loretta, I see you got a lot of replies already. Was wondering, is OCD the reason you're helping with the homework, and if so how OCD is affecting it (other than the thoughts about you). Just asking, as I had to do the reading to and writing for him in middle school. How does the therapist/doc recommend to handle the thoughts/curse words? And, at his age, does he know a lot of actual curse words? Was wondering how offended you'd be about them, some families use curse words, some don't. Thinking of exposures.... > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2012 Report Share Posted March 5, 2012 My son has trouble at first on vacations because he is generally anxious and it sets off his separation anxiety and other anxiety issues. Eventually he relaxes and has a great time. Re: Re: homework frustration Anyone see OCD become way worse when traveling and on a vacation? Anyone have suggestions on how to lower anxiety when preparing for a plane ride for vacation. My daughter is 7 and when we took her to Disney she has all these compulsions. That is when we knew it was serious. Will that happen every time we travel? Sent from my iPhone On Mar 5, 2012, at 7:36 AM, " melissaandamy " wrote: > > Sorry...continued from previous post...hit the trigger too quickly > > Summer before 7th grade though, when puberty set in, her OCD went off the charts and that's when we realized it was OCD. So this year has been a real struggle. To us, it feels like we are repeating 3rd grade. At this point, I have just decided that it is not worth it to stress over the homework. She just does her best and I don't freak out over her grades which have not been good this year. I told her that her health is the most important thing right now and that we need to make sure she can manage her anxiety and we will worry about grades later. I told her that the grades don't really matter anyway until 9th grade. > > That's just the way that we are dealing with it. > > > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > > > > > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo! > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity event does the unthinkable. > Privacy Policy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Oh my God, Yes! I thought we were the only ones. When my daughter was 11, we took a family trip to Disney. All expenses paid by my mother-in-law. It was a dream trip. But my daughter fell to pieces while we there. Every time that we would stop for five seconds, she would have a meltdown confessing and telling me that she thought she was bad. I called her psychiatrist (at the time) and she told me to up her Lexapro and it just made it worse. But yes, we are really scared now to take vacations with her because she often freaks out. We were planning a trip to Cancun with her this year, but my husband said he had reservations about spending so much on a trip when we don't know if she will be able to handle it. He ended up losing his job a month ago which made it a moot point anyway. But yes, I can so relate. > > > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > > > > > > > > > > > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo! > > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion > > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity event does the unthinkable. > > Privacy Policy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Oh my God, Yes! I thought we were the only ones. When my daughter was 11, we took a family trip to Disney. All expenses paid by my mother-in-law. It was a dream trip. But my daughter fell to pieces while we there. Every time that we would stop for five seconds, she would have a meltdown confessing and telling me that she thought she was bad. I called her psychiatrist (at the time) and she told me to up her Lexapro and it just made it worse. But yes, we are really scared now to take vacations with her because she often freaks out. We were planning a trip to Cancun with her this year, but my husband said he had reservations about spending so much on a trip when we don't know if she will be able to handle it. He ended up losing his job a month ago which made it a moot point anyway. But yes, I can so relate. > > > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them! > > > > > > > > > > > > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo! > > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion > > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity event does the unthinkable. > > Privacy Policy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Thanks again, for all of the support. The reason I am sitting with him during homework is because if I don't he will not do it. He will erase repeatedly, avoid, or just sit there with a blank piece of paper. He does not seem able to do it unless my husband or I are sitting next to him. As for the curse words, ummmm....honestly, I have a potty mouth. Hey, I'm from Brooklyn- it's cultural;)! It's really the scrupulosity behind the curse words that are at the root of the thoughts...he needs to confess and feels guilt ridden for having the thoughts. I am pretty neutral in my reaction- I tell him that is his OCD and that I know he does not really believe those things about me. He is in therapy and does some cognitive behavioral work there, but I have not been able to find anyone who specifically does ERP with children in Tuscaloosa, AL which is where we are now. On the plus side, I think we tricked his OCD last night...I have these special drinks that are my treat (Fuze) and he really wanted a sip. So I told him for every vocab word he got right he would get a sip. He only got 2 wrong out of 30 words and was delightful during the whole process. He was laughing and treated it like a game. I think that he needed something to distract him from the OCD so that he could actually perform what I know he already knows. It was a good moment. > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2012 Report Share Posted March 6, 2012 Thanks again, for all of the support. The reason I am sitting with him during homework is because if I don't he will not do it. He will erase repeatedly, avoid, or just sit there with a blank piece of paper. He does not seem able to do it unless my husband or I are sitting next to him. As for the curse words, ummmm....honestly, I have a potty mouth. Hey, I'm from Brooklyn- it's cultural;)! It's really the scrupulosity behind the curse words that are at the root of the thoughts...he needs to confess and feels guilt ridden for having the thoughts. I am pretty neutral in my reaction- I tell him that is his OCD and that I know he does not really believe those things about me. He is in therapy and does some cognitive behavioral work there, but I have not been able to find anyone who specifically does ERP with children in Tuscaloosa, AL which is where we are now. On the plus side, I think we tricked his OCD last night...I have these special drinks that are my treat (Fuze) and he really wanted a sip. So I told him for every vocab word he got right he would get a sip. He only got 2 wrong out of 30 words and was delightful during the whole process. He was laughing and treated it like a game. I think that he needed something to distract him from the OCD so that he could actually perform what I know he already knows. It was a good moment. > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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