Re: homework frustration

[Guest guest]

My daughter is not medicated at this point. She's only 7 but I am wondering if

she should begin medication before our vacation. Anyone have any thoughts on

this? I just don't want her compulsions to effect our trip . I am so sick of

this OCD controlling all our lives. I am just not sure when the right time is to

medicate. I'm scared for the side effects. Any advice out there? I hate what OCD

does to all of us but I am scared that it could get worse with side effects.

What was the deciding factor for anyone who began meds and was on the fence

like me?

Sent from my iPad

On Mar 6, 2012, at 7:34 AM, " melissaandamy "

wrote:

> Oh my God, Yes! I thought we were the only ones. When my daughter was 11, we

took a family trip to Disney. All expenses paid by my mother-in-law. It was a

dream trip. But my daughter fell to pieces while we there. Every time that we

would stop for five seconds, she would have a meltdown confessing and telling me

that she thought she was bad. I called her psychiatrist (at the time) and she

told me to up her Lexapro and it just made it worse. But yes, we are really

scared now to take vacations with her because she often freaks out. We were

planning a trip to Cancun with her this year, but my husband said he had

reservations about spending so much on a trip when we don't know if she will be

able to handle it. He ended up losing his job a month ago which made it a moot

point anyway. But yes, I can so relate.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of

homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get

intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes

him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I

don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just

remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his

meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework

time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of

us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts

and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I

wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He

attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what

the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next

year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything

like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve

for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round

hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and

I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having

a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so

isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them!

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> > > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion

> > > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity

event does the unthinkable.

> > > Privacy Policy

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

My daughter is not medicated at this point. She's only 7 but I am wondering if

she should begin medication before our vacation. Anyone have any thoughts on

this? I just don't want her compulsions to effect our trip . I am so sick of

this OCD controlling all our lives. I am just not sure when the right time is to

medicate. I'm scared for the side effects. Any advice out there? I hate what OCD

does to all of us but I am scared that it could get worse with side effects.

What was the deciding factor for anyone who began meds and was on the fence

like me?

Sent from my iPad

On Mar 6, 2012, at 7:34 AM, " melissaandamy "

wrote:

> Oh my God, Yes! I thought we were the only ones. When my daughter was 11, we

took a family trip to Disney. All expenses paid by my mother-in-law. It was a

dream trip. But my daughter fell to pieces while we there. Every time that we

would stop for five seconds, she would have a meltdown confessing and telling me

that she thought she was bad. I called her psychiatrist (at the time) and she

told me to up her Lexapro and it just made it worse. But yes, we are really

scared now to take vacations with her because she often freaks out. We were

planning a trip to Cancun with her this year, but my husband said he had

reservations about spending so much on a trip when we don't know if she will be

able to handle it. He ended up losing his job a month ago which made it a moot

point anyway. But yes, I can so relate.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of

homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get

intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes

him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I

don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just

remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his

meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework

time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of

us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts

and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I

wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He

attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what

the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next

year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything

like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve

for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round

hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and

I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having

a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so

isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them!

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> > > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion

> > > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity

event does the unthinkable.

> > > Privacy Policy

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

 

I too was very afraid of putting my son on meds, he is 10 years old and it was a

battle between ocd-not functioning that got us to the " meds "

he is on Zoloft and it is really helping. My son only had diarrhea for the first

week or two then his body adjusted. We have seen a big

difference in the decline of compulsions. However, he is on 50 mgs and his

doctor feels he needs to be at 75mgs as he is still having anxiety over

school (its a big struggle getting him there.)

 

I have spoken to other parents who were reluctant to try meds because of side

effects, beliefs, family, etc etc. If you listen to everyone then you

will get nowhere. Study the clininal trials and way the pros and cons. I believe

that you will side more with the pros.

 

As a footnote, my son was doing CBT (not full E/RP) and it didn't help him.

However, we have an appt to see a new therapist next week

and I believe between the meds and therapy we will conquer OCD eventually. We

are all in this fight together. Hang in there.

 

Jay

________________________________

To: " " < >

Sent: Tuesday, March 6, 2012 1:26 PM

Subject: Re: Re: homework frustration

 

My daughter is not medicated at this point. She's only 7 but I am wondering if

she should begin medication before our vacation. Anyone have any thoughts on

this? I just don't want her compulsions to effect our trip . I am so sick of

this OCD controlling all our lives. I am just not sure when the right time is to

medicate. I'm scared for the side effects. Any advice out there? I hate what OCD

does to all of us but I am scared that it could get worse with side effects.

What was the deciding factor for anyone who began meds and was on the fence like

me?

Sent from my iPad

On Mar 6, 2012, at 7:34 AM, " melissaandamy "

wrote:

> Oh my God, Yes! I thought we were the only ones. When my daughter was 11, we

took a family trip to Disney. All expenses paid by my mother-in-law. It was a

dream trip. But my daughter fell to pieces while we there. Every time that we

would stop for five seconds, she would have a meltdown confessing and telling me

that she thought she was bad. I called her psychiatrist (at the time) and she

told me to up her Lexapro and it just made it worse. But yes, we are really

scared now to take vacations with her because she often freaks out. We were

planning a trip to Cancun with her this year, but my husband said he had

reservations about spending so much on a trip when we don't know if she will be

able to handle it. He ended up losing his job a month ago which made it a moot

point anyway. But yes, I can so relate.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of

homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get

intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes

him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I

don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just

remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his

meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework

time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of

us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts

and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I

wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He

attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what

the 4th graders are

doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the

first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety

so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I

feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His

triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him

feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if

anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our

struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them!

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> > > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion

> > > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity

event does the unthinkable.

> > > Privacy Policy

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

 

I too was very afraid of putting my son on meds, he is 10 years old and it was a

battle between ocd-not functioning that got us to the " meds "

he is on Zoloft and it is really helping. My son only had diarrhea for the first

week or two then his body adjusted. We have seen a big

difference in the decline of compulsions. However, he is on 50 mgs and his

doctor feels he needs to be at 75mgs as he is still having anxiety over

school (its a big struggle getting him there.)

 

I have spoken to other parents who were reluctant to try meds because of side

effects, beliefs, family, etc etc. If you listen to everyone then you

will get nowhere. Study the clininal trials and way the pros and cons. I believe

that you will side more with the pros.

 

As a footnote, my son was doing CBT (not full E/RP) and it didn't help him.

However, we have an appt to see a new therapist next week

and I believe between the meds and therapy we will conquer OCD eventually. We

are all in this fight together. Hang in there.

 

Jay

________________________________

To: " " < >

Sent: Tuesday, March 6, 2012 1:26 PM

Subject: Re: Re: homework frustration

 

My daughter is not medicated at this point. She's only 7 but I am wondering if

she should begin medication before our vacation. Anyone have any thoughts on

this? I just don't want her compulsions to effect our trip . I am so sick of

this OCD controlling all our lives. I am just not sure when the right time is to

medicate. I'm scared for the side effects. Any advice out there? I hate what OCD

does to all of us but I am scared that it could get worse with side effects.

What was the deciding factor for anyone who began meds and was on the fence like

me?

Sent from my iPad

On Mar 6, 2012, at 7:34 AM, " melissaandamy "

wrote:

> Oh my God, Yes! I thought we were the only ones. When my daughter was 11, we

took a family trip to Disney. All expenses paid by my mother-in-law. It was a

dream trip. But my daughter fell to pieces while we there. Every time that we

would stop for five seconds, she would have a meltdown confessing and telling me

that she thought she was bad. I called her psychiatrist (at the time) and she

told me to up her Lexapro and it just made it worse. But yes, we are really

scared now to take vacations with her because she often freaks out. We were

planning a trip to Cancun with her this year, but my husband said he had

reservations about spending so much on a trip when we don't know if she will be

able to handle it. He ended up losing his job a month ago which made it a moot

point anyway. But yes, I can so relate.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of

homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get

intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes

him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I

don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just

remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his

meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework

time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of

us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts

and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I

wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He

attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what

the 4th graders are

doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the

first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety

so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I

feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His

triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him

feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if

anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our

struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them!

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> > > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion

> > > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity

event does the unthinkable.

> > > Privacy Policy

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jay! I appreciate your feedback

Sent from my iPhone

> Hi ,

>

> I too was very afraid of putting my son on meds, he is 10 years old and it was

a battle between ocd-not functioning that got us to the " meds "

> he is on Zoloft and it is really helping. My son only had diarrhea for the

first week or two then his body adjusted. We have seen a big

> difference in the decline of compulsions. However, he is on 50 mgs and his

doctor feels he needs to be at 75mgs as he is still having anxiety over

> school (its a big struggle getting him there.)

>

> I have spoken to other parents who were reluctant to try meds because of side

effects, beliefs, family, etc etc. If you listen to everyone then you

> will get nowhere. Study the clininal trials and way the pros and cons. I

believe that you will side more with the pros.

>

> As a footnote, my son was doing CBT (not full E/RP) and it didn't help him.

However, we have an appt to see a new therapist next week

> and I believe between the meds and therapy we will conquer OCD eventually. We

are all in this fight together. Hang in there.

>

> Jay

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: " " < >

> Sent: Tuesday, March 6, 2012 1:26 PM

> Subject: Re: Re: homework frustration

>

>

> My daughter is not medicated at this point. She's only 7 but I am wondering if

she should begin medication before our vacation. Anyone have any thoughts on

this? I just don't want her compulsions to effect our trip . I am so sick of

this OCD controlling all our lives. I am just not sure when the right time is to

medicate. I'm scared for the side effects. Any advice out there? I hate what OCD

does to all of us but I am scared that it could get worse with side effects.

What was the deciding factor for anyone who began meds and was on the fence like

me?

>

> Sent from my iPad

>

> On Mar 6, 2012, at 7:34 AM, " melissaandamy "

wrote:

>

> > Oh my God, Yes! I thought we were the only ones. When my daughter was 11, we

took a family trip to Disney. All expenses paid by my mother-in-law. It was a

dream trip. But my daughter fell to pieces while we there. Every time that we

would stop for five seconds, she would have a meltdown confessing and telling me

that she thought she was bad. I called her psychiatrist (at the time) and she

told me to up her Lexapro and it just made it worse. But yes, we are really

scared now to take vacations with her because she often freaks out. We were

planning a trip to Cancun with her this year, but my husband said he had

reservations about spending so much on a trip when we don't know if she will be

able to handle it. He ended up losing his job a month ago which made it a moot

point anyway. But yes, I can so relate.

> >

> >

> > > > >

> > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of

homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get

intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes

him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I

don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just

remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his

meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework

time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of

us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts

and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I

wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He

attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what

the 4th graders are

> doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the

first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety

so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I

feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His

triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him

feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if

anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our

struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> > > > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion

> > > > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity

event does the unthinkable.

> > > > Privacy Policy

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jay! I appreciate your feedback

Sent from my iPhone

> Hi ,

>

> I too was very afraid of putting my son on meds, he is 10 years old and it was

a battle between ocd-not functioning that got us to the " meds "

> he is on Zoloft and it is really helping. My son only had diarrhea for the

first week or two then his body adjusted. We have seen a big

> difference in the decline of compulsions. However, he is on 50 mgs and his

doctor feels he needs to be at 75mgs as he is still having anxiety over

> school (its a big struggle getting him there.)

>

> I have spoken to other parents who were reluctant to try meds because of side

effects, beliefs, family, etc etc. If you listen to everyone then you

> will get nowhere. Study the clininal trials and way the pros and cons. I

believe that you will side more with the pros.

>

> As a footnote, my son was doing CBT (not full E/RP) and it didn't help him.

However, we have an appt to see a new therapist next week

> and I believe between the meds and therapy we will conquer OCD eventually. We

are all in this fight together. Hang in there.

>

> Jay

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: " " < >

> Sent: Tuesday, March 6, 2012 1:26 PM

> Subject: Re: Re: homework frustration

>

>

> My daughter is not medicated at this point. She's only 7 but I am wondering if

she should begin medication before our vacation. Anyone have any thoughts on

this? I just don't want her compulsions to effect our trip . I am so sick of

this OCD controlling all our lives. I am just not sure when the right time is to

medicate. I'm scared for the side effects. Any advice out there? I hate what OCD

does to all of us but I am scared that it could get worse with side effects.

What was the deciding factor for anyone who began meds and was on the fence like

me?

>

> Sent from my iPad

>

> On Mar 6, 2012, at 7:34 AM, " melissaandamy "

wrote:

>

> > Oh my God, Yes! I thought we were the only ones. When my daughter was 11, we

took a family trip to Disney. All expenses paid by my mother-in-law. It was a

dream trip. But my daughter fell to pieces while we there. Every time that we

would stop for five seconds, she would have a meltdown confessing and telling me

that she thought she was bad. I called her psychiatrist (at the time) and she

told me to up her Lexapro and it just made it worse. But yes, we are really

scared now to take vacations with her because she often freaks out. We were

planning a trip to Cancun with her this year, but my husband said he had

reservations about spending so much on a trip when we don't know if she will be

able to handle it. He ended up losing his job a month ago which made it a moot

point anyway. But yes, I can so relate.

> >

> >

> > > > >

> > > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of

homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get

intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes

him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I

don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just

remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his

meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework

time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of

us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts

and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I

wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He

attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what

the 4th graders are

> doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next year. We are the

first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything like ocd or anxiety

so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve for them, too. I

feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with him. His

triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and I know it makes him

feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having a rough time...if

anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so isolated in our

struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them!

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > TODAY(Beta) • Powered by Yahoo!

> > > > NFL star's embarrassing run-in with a lion

> > > > Chad Ochocinco can't believe his luck after a caged animal at a charity

event does the unthinkable.

> > > > Privacy Policy

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Oh, you need to find more good moments like that!

Though it puts a lot on us parents, have you thought of having him dictate to

you his homework? We did that for , had it in his 504 Plan. He didn't

have to worry about erasing or other OCD stuff and was fine telling me what to

write.

Maybe for exposure he could write the/a curse words, a full page or two or just

10x, etc. You could write your own sheet too if it'd help him. He has to give

the word less " power " , or whatever. Yeah, it's tough with the scrupulosity,

that's 's OCD too. He's 23 now. For him, there is like a " block " with

recognizing it all as OCD. I guess he still does, but he used to say that OCD

just made it all worse, the frequency, the obsessing, but he didn't see the

" thoughts " as OCD, saw them as his thoughts. I argued if we got him on

medication that helped lessen the frequency, or even the thoughts, then what was

left he could say was " him " and work on that but let's see what's OCD and get

you on medication; no luck.

Hang in there. I went thru middle school again with , was harder the 2nd

time around, lol, but actually enjoyed some too. Enjoyed some of the

subjects/reading, but also seeing how smart he was, where he struggled too, but

mostly how smart!

>

> Thanks again, for all of the support. The reason I am sitting with him during

homework is because if I don't he will not do it. He will erase repeatedly,

avoid, or just sit there with a blank piece of paper. He does not seem able to

do it unless my husband or I are sitting next to him. As for the curse words,

ummmm....honestly, I have a potty mouth. Hey, I'm from Brooklyn- it's

cultural;)! It's really the scrupulosity behind the curse words that are at the

root of the thoughts...he needs to confess and feels guilt ridden for having the

thoughts. I am pretty neutral in my reaction- I tell him

[Guest guest]

Oh, you need to find more good moments like that!

Though it puts a lot on us parents, have you thought of having him dictate to

you his homework? We did that for , had it in his 504 Plan. He didn't

have to worry about erasing or other OCD stuff and was fine telling me what to

write.

Maybe for exposure he could write the/a curse words, a full page or two or just

10x, etc. You could write your own sheet too if it'd help him. He has to give

the word less " power " , or whatever. Yeah, it's tough with the scrupulosity,

that's 's OCD too. He's 23 now. For him, there is like a " block " with

recognizing it all as OCD. I guess he still does, but he used to say that OCD

just made it all worse, the frequency, the obsessing, but he didn't see the

" thoughts " as OCD, saw them as his thoughts. I argued if we got him on

medication that helped lessen the frequency, or even the thoughts, then what was

left he could say was " him " and work on that but let's see what's OCD and get

you on medication; no luck.

Hang in there. I went thru middle school again with , was harder the 2nd

time around, lol, but actually enjoyed some too. Enjoyed some of the

subjects/reading, but also seeing how smart he was, where he struggled too, but

mostly how smart!

>

> Thanks again, for all of the support. The reason I am sitting with him during

homework is because if I don't he will not do it. He will erase repeatedly,

avoid, or just sit there with a blank piece of paper. He does not seem able to

do it unless my husband or I are sitting next to him. As for the curse words,

ummmm....honestly, I have a potty mouth. Hey, I'm from Brooklyn- it's

cultural;)! It's really the scrupulosity behind the curse words that are at the

root of the thoughts...he needs to confess and feels guilt ridden for having the

thoughts. I am pretty neutral in my reaction- I tell him

[Guest guest]

RE: travel anxiety!!

yes yes, we have had many years of this with my OCD son, have posted about it in

the past, one of the areas that were so so stressful for him, and thought same

that we just couldnt travel again, he was esp scared on flights, one time flying

from canada to uk, where he screamed we are all going to die, and i dont want to

die over and over, it was so awful, he was absolutely terrified and all the

things we use to help him just did not work, as well as all passengers staring,

as he was fighting me to get out of his belt and run down the plane to the

pilots to get them to land, i was so frightened and shaken that i thought we

could not do that again, no amount of reaasurance could help, but he finally did

calm down somewhat but stayed on red alert the whole time, asking questions

constantly,mostly morbid about how we would die,anyway we made it through that

flight only just.......and i decided to quickly fly a short flight to help him

see we were safe,otherwise i thought we would never be able to fly again so we

had a 1 hour flight and talked it through before going, and it did work, the

anxiety when travelling is still there, but seems able to manage it a bit better

and not get such out of control fears, he also is just as fearful about delays

and cancellations when travelling, so even if it is train or car there is the

same worry, but i just want to keep trying as otherwise we dont go anywhere,

have used some homeopathic treatments for fears/worries and bach rmemedies,

although I am thinking to look at meds from doctor for our next holiday coming

in a few weeks, Id try to get away with your daughter, involving her in choosing

what would be comfortable for her, and maybe something nearby or short travel

time to start with and see how it goes, good luck, maree

> > > >

> > > > Ugh. It seems like whenever we sit down to do a reasonable amount of

homework (we have a 504) my son starts to have a meltdown. He starts to get

intrusive thoughts about wanting to call me various curse words which then makes

him feel guilty which then leads to him being distracted. I am so frustrated. I

don't think the work he is being asked to do is unreasonable. I try to just

remain neutral...thankfully we see the shrink this week and will increase his

meds...but, man...I just want to scream and cry. My husband and I dread homework

time with him and almost are to the point of picking straws to see which one of

us will have to deal with him. We generally have to tag team out...one starts

and when we reach our breaking point the other has to tag in. I feel so stuck. I

wish the med issue had been easier for him but we have not been so lucky. He

attends a competitive Magnet school where the academics are rigorous. I see what

the 4th graders are doing and feel sick to my stomach about what awaits him next

year. We are the first 504 plan the school has had to implement for anything

like ocd or anxiety so I think they also want to help but it is a learning curve

for them, too. I feel like I am often trying to fit a square peg into a round

hole with him. His triplet brothers breeze through academics and activities and

I know it makes him feel like he is somehow " less " than them. *sigh* Just having

a rough time...if anyone can even relate I would love to at least not feel so

isolated in our struggle. If you have suggestions, I am all for them!

> > > >

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[Guest guest]

I just want to echo what said about the exposure exercises. It is

probably a great idea for your son. We started by having my son write the

words and then eventually he worked his way up to saying them. We would write

done the " bad thought " then the correction ( I think there usually is a

correction...like " of course I didn't mean that. " . Then we would spend 5 minutes

doing an exercise with me saying the sentence and he repeating after me. But he

was not allowed to do his correction. And I would mix up the order...so that it

wasn't the same every time and it didn't allow him to do his correction. The

words were vulgar, but our saying them made the whole thing become a bore.

Sometimes we'd laugh too.

It was extremely hard for my son to even write his bad thoughts at first.

Showing me was a huge step and so on. It took him a very long time to feel

comfortable doing the exercises with my husband. So, I guess I'm saying, if you

are going to try some exposure exercises, be prepared for your son to resist and

be uncomfortable at first.

Okay...I didn't intend to write a book. I just though Chris's idea was a good

one.

> >

> > Thanks again, for all of the support. The reason I am sitting with him

during homework is because if I don't he will not do it. He will erase

repeatedly, avoid, or just sit there with a blank piece of paper. He does not

seem able to do it unless my husband or I are sitting next to him. As for the

curse words, ummmm....honestly, I have a potty mouth. Hey, I'm from Brooklyn-

it's cultural;)! It's really the scrupulosity behind the curse words that are

at the root of the thoughts...he needs to confess and feels guilt ridden for

having the thoughts. I am pretty neutral in my reaction- I tell him

>

[Guest guest]

Another vote on writing the curse words. We tried a number of exposures for my

12 year old daughter whose scrupulosity focused on every possible swear word.

We tried recorded scripts that she listened to, to bore her OCD, with little

success, but then started a notebook. Each evening's exercise was to write the

" worst " word (of the day) over and over again. Goal was to fill the page, and

kind of record in the margin when she got over the hill on the word. So if she

started at a 7, she could stop writing when she got to a 4. We progressively

added more (or new) words until curse words in general were significantly

lowered as bothersome. They crop back up every now and again, but we know that

exercise works. We have quite a few interesting binders in the house but

this really works for us, it's boring to write the words over and over again.

Her stream was much like your son's - she worried that is she said the word, we

would judge that she did something " bad " or wrong, be angry and she would feel

guilty. Her OCD is all about guilt - keeping that neutral stance (i.e.

shrugging on the curse words) helps - keep trying! And ask your son what he

thinks helps more!!!

> > >

> > > Thanks again, for all of the support. The reason I am sitting with him

during homework is because if I don't he will not do it. He will erase

repeatedly, avoid, or just sit there with a blank piece of paper. He does not

seem able to do it unless my husband or I are sitting next to him. As for the

curse words, ummmm....honestly, I have a potty mouth. Hey, I'm from Brooklyn-

it's cultural;)! It's really the scrupulosity behind the curse words that are

at the root of the thoughts...he needs to confess and feels guilt ridden for

having the thoughts. I am pretty neutral in my reaction- I tell him

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for exposure ideas. We actually just got back from a trip so I am just

getting to sit and process your ideas now. I will be shopping for a cursing

journal for him later today:) Wish us luck!

> > > >

> > > > Thanks again, for all of the support. The reason I am sitting with him

during homework is because if I don't he will not do it. He will erase

repeatedly, avoid, or just sit there with a blank piece of paper. He does not

seem able to do it unless my husband or I are sitting next to him. As for the

curse words, ummmm....honestly, I have a potty mouth. Hey, I'm from Brooklyn-

it's cultural;)! It's really the scrupulosity behind the curse words that are

at the root of the thoughts...he needs to confess and feels guilt ridden for

having the thoughts. I am pretty neutral in my reaction- I tell him

> > >

> >

>