Re: Re: Feeling a little down after meeting with disability resource person

[Guest guest]

I think it is really important for kids with disabilities to go to a school that

is not a stretch academically for them. My nephew went to a school for dyslexic

kids through middle school, and then he went to a small private high school that

provides lots of extra support. He did so well that he got into 6 of the 7

engineering programs that he applied to for college. It turned out to have been

a big mistake for him because at the large state university he chose, even

though they claim to have such a disability resource system, they just weren't

able to meet his needs, and he did really poorly. With lots of tutoring and

support from his dad with his work, he made just below a B average for his

Freshman year, pulling it off at the end, although he had to drop one course in

the middle. He went back Sophomore year and became so depressed because it

wasn't working out so well socially and the academics made him so anxious, that

my brother decided he needed to resign from the university and come home because

he had never seen his son so despondent and was really worried about him. At

this point my nephew gets anxious just going on a college campus. He went to a

local one while living at home this past semester and will transfer in Sept. to

a less demanding program than the engineering school he started out at and live

away from home there. I only wish my brother had realized that the small

private school my nephew had gone to for high school was not equivalent to the

kind of high schools that the other students at that state university went to,

so he would have applied to schools that were more realistic for him with much

more support.

In Roy's case, it really might be a good idea to start out at a local community

college and then transfer from there to a four year school. The success he

achieves at the community college would then help him to have more confidence

and experience to tackle the four year university.

Re: Feeling a little down after meeting with

disability resource person

I'm glad that the 1st person you spoke with was not your only interacton! You

would think she'd have the training and expertise to look beyond numbers on a

sheet. There is ALOT more involved! It makes me angry actually! (Did he get

accomodations for his testing) Those standardized test are grueling for our

kids....!

I've heard that there are small liberal arts schools where they have assigned

student mentors that help students with their day to day school work etc...

I don't know the name of any in your area...

Just a thought

Best of luck,

>

> We went to look at a local college, a big step for Roy. We went to the

disability resource person first b/c I thought she would be encouraging and give

us some helpful info on how to proceed with a " non-traditional " student with

challenges. I had all the paperwork (504,ACT scores, health plan) and she looked

at his scores (21 composite, 24 math, 17 science). She had a sour look on her

face and told him he should retake it and then tells him he really needs to get

that science score up. He felt completely deflated b/c he knows he is better

than a number and knows that he was exhausted when he got to the science part of

the test. I told her we were working on getting time and half on his retake. It

was huge for him to even get to that meeting and all of us walked out thinking

why was she in that position. Didn't seem to " get it " at all.

> We then decided to skip the tour and try to get in to an admissions person

1:1, instead of the large group. She was very positive and kept telling him that

a 21 was a very good score and that she was sure he could bring it up if he

retook it. She also gave up options for getting though another glitch with the

foreign language requirement. She also explained that there is a human component

to the application and that it is not all about scores and numbers. Anyway, what

a difference and I am happy we talked with her. I just now have alot more work

ahead in trying to get the foreign lang. requirement figured out. Don't see him

being able to go unless they waver it. Can't see him handling a college course

on top of his HS classes, in order to satisfy 2 yr. foreign lang. Would be so

much easier if he wanted to go to the tech or junior college but he really wants

to go to a 4 yr. school and then eventually engineering.

> So, frustrating for sure. If they only knew how much he has gone through to

get this far.

> in WI

> Roy-17. OCD/Depression/Anxiety ADD

>

[Guest guest]

My son just finished his 1st year at a state university 4 hours away from home.

(Dreams come true!) What made all the difference for him was that one of his

disability accommodations is that he can take as few as 6 credits per semester

(instead of the usual minimum of 12) and still be considered a full-time

student. Both his psychiatrist and his psychologist wrote letters in support of

that accommodation. His other accommodation is that he takes his tests in a

quiet, non-distracting environment and can have up to twice as much time to

complete a test. The university website has a section for disabilities which

includes the forms which need to be filled out. I imagine the forms might be

the same across the U.S. because the Individuals w/ Disabilities Education Act

is a federal law.

He took 7 credits the 1st semester (2 academic classes, one w/ a lab) and 8 the

2nd semester (2 academic classes and a 2-credit, less-academic class. It took

him hours and hours do do his studying; OCD is very distracting! But

he got A's and B's and he is justifiably proud! He continued on his meds and

continued " meeting " (by phone) with his OCD-specialist psychologist each week.

As others suggested, my son started out taking classes at our local community

college. So when he entered the large university, he was already familiar with

how college classes work.

> I think it is really important for kids with disabilities to go to a school

that is not a stretch academically for them. My nephew went to a school for

dyslexic kids through middle school, and then he went to a small private high

school that provides lots of extra support. He did so well that he got into 6 of

the 7 engineering programs that he applied to for college. It turned out to have

been a big mistake for him because at the large state university he chose, even

though they claim to have such a disability resource system, they just weren't

able to meet his needs, and he did really poorly. With lots of tutoring and

support from his dad with his work, he made just below a B average for his

Freshman year, pulling it off at the end, although he had to drop one course in

the middle. He went back Sophomore year and became so depressed because it

wasn't working out so well socially and the academics made him so anxious, that

my brother decided he needed to resign from the university and come home because

he had never seen his son so despondent and was really worried about him. At

this point my nephew gets anxious just going on a college campus. He went to a

local one while living at home this past semester and will transfer in Sept. to

a less demanding program than the engineering school he started out at and live

away from home there. I only wish my brother had realized that the small private

school my nephew had gone to for high school was not equivalent to the kind of

high schools that the other students at that state university went to, so he

would have applied to schools that were more realistic for him with much more

support.

>

> In Roy's case, it really might be a good idea to start out at a local

community college and then transfer from there to a four year school. The

success he achieves at the community college would then help him to have more

confidence and experience to tackle the four year university.

>

> Re: Feeling a little down after meeting with

disability resource person

>

> I'm glad that the 1st person you spoke with was not your only interacton! You

would think she'd have the training and expertise to look beyond numbers on a

sheet. There is ALOT more involved! It makes me angry actually! (Did he get

accomodations for his testing) Those standardized test are grueling for our

kids....!

>

> I've heard that there are small liberal arts schools where they have assigned

student mentors that help students with their day to day school work etc...

> I don't know the name of any in your area...

> Just a thought

>

> Best of luck,

>

>

>

> >

> > We went to look at a local college, a big step for Roy. We went to the

disability resource person first b/c I thought she would be encouraging and give

us some helpful info on how to proceed with a " non-traditional " student with

challenges. I had all the paperwork (504,ACT scores, health plan) and she looked

at his scores (21 composite, 24 math, 17 science). She had a sour look on her

face and told him he should retake it and then tells him he really needs to get

that science score up. He felt completely deflated b/c he knows he is better

than a number and knows that he was exhausted when he got to the science part of

the test. I told her we were working on getting time and half on his retake. It

was huge for him to even get to that meeting and all of us walked out thinking

why was she in that position. Didn't seem to " get it " at all.

> > We then decided to skip the tour and try to get in to an admissions person

1:1, instead of the large group. She was very positive and kept telling him that

a 21 was a very good score and that she was sure he could bring it up if he

retook it. She also gave up options for getting though another glitch with the

foreign language requirement. She also explained that there is a human component

to the application and that it is not all about scores and numbers. Anyway, what

a difference and I am happy we talked with her. I just now have alot more work

ahead in trying to get the foreign lang. requirement figured out. Don't see him

being able to go unless they waver it. Can't see him handling a college course

on top of his HS classes, in order to satisfy 2 yr. foreign lang. Would be so

much easier if he wanted to go to the tech or junior college but he really wants

to go to a 4 yr. school and then eventually engineering.

> > So, frustrating for sure. If they only knew how much he has gone through to

get this far.

> > in WI

> > Roy-17. OCD/Depression/Anxiety ADD

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Congratulations on your son's successes!

Re: Feeling a little down after meeting with

disability resource person

>

> I'm glad that the 1st person you spoke with was not your only interacton! You

would think she'd have the training and expertise to look beyond numbers on a

sheet. There is ALOT more involved! It makes me angry actually! (Did he get

accomodations for his testing) Those standardized test are grueling for our

kids....!

>

> I've heard that there are small liberal arts schools where they have assigned

student mentors that help students with their day to day school work etc...

> I don't know the name of any in your area...

> Just a thought

>

> Best of luck,

>

>

>

> >

> > We went to look at a local college, a big step for Roy. We went to the

disability resource person first b/c I thought she would be encouraging and give

us some helpful info on how to proceed with a " non-traditional " student with

challenges. I had all the paperwork (504,ACT scores, health plan) and she looked

at his scores (21 composite, 24 math, 17 science). She had a sour look on her

face and told him he should retake it and then tells him he really needs to get

that science score up. He felt completely deflated b/c he knows he is better

than a number and knows that he was exhausted when he got to the science part of

the test. I told her we were working on getting time and half on his retake. It

was huge for him to even get to that meeting and all of us walked out thinking

why was she in that position. Didn't seem to " get it " at all.

> > We then decided to skip the tour and try to get in to an admissions person

1:1, instead of the large group. She was very positive and kept telling him that

a 21 was a very good score and that she was sure he could bring it up if he

retook it. She also gave up options for getting though another glitch with the

foreign language requirement. She also explained that there is a human component

to the application and that it is not all about scores and numbers. Anyway, what

a difference and I am happy we talked with her. I just now have alot more work

ahead in trying to get the foreign lang. requirement figured out. Don't see him

being able to go unless they waver it. Can't see him handling a college course

on top of his HS classes, in order to satisfy 2 yr. foreign lang. Would be so

much easier if he wanted to go to the tech or junior college but he really wants

to go to a 4 yr. school and then eventually engineering.

> > So, frustrating for sure. If they only knew how much he has gone through to

get this far.

> > in WI

> > Roy-17. OCD/Depression/Anxiety ADD

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you... I am profoundly grateful every day.

> Congratulations on your son's successes!

>

>

[Guest guest]

That disabilities person sounds awful. Toxic. Beyond unfit for her job. I am

infuriated on Roy's behalf.

About the extended time for testing: My son wouldn't have been able to manage

the ACTs. Thankfully, because he'd gotten 30 (I think it was 30) credits at the

community college, he was able to apply to the state univ. as a transfer

student. Way fortunate. His community college courses were in lieu of high

school. Some semesters he managed little more than a PE class. Most of the

classes were at the pre-college level, but they counted toward the 30 credits.

He did, however, have to take the GED tests. But... the disability

accommodations allowed him extra time on each test and only 1 or 2 tests per

day.

In order to get the accommodations for the GED tests, we asked the GED people at

the community college. They conferred with the community college's disabilities

person and one or both depts submitted the request for accommodations to some

national office (national GED office?) which had to approve the accommodations.

It took a couple months, as I recall. I would assume that the same process

would be followed for the ACTs--and that the accommodations could include

testing on just 1 or 2 subjects per day.

His tuition is less because he takes fewer than 12 credits.

> Curious, when he took 6 credits, did he have to pay the same amount as a

person taking the normal load? He would not have trouble getting the time and

half for tests, since it is on his 504. The problem with taking long tests is

his brain tires and he can't continue, so even when given the option of more

time, he is too burned out to take advantage. I think it is the ADD, anxiety,

and OCD. Just too much effort I guess.

> Yes, when I e-mailed the dis. person with more info about roy, she basically

said " these kids " do not have good success here with finishing their freshman

semester. I think that part. school is prob. not the best for Roy. in WI

> Roy-17 OCD, ADD, Anxiety, Depression.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > We went to look at a local college, a big step for Roy. We went to the

disability resource person first b/c I thought she would be encouraging and give

us some helpful info on how to proceed with a " non-traditional " student with

challenges. I had all the paperwork (504,ACT scores, health plan) and she looked

at his scores (21 composite, 24 math, 17 science). She had a sour look on her

face and told him he should retake it and then tells him he really needs to get

that science score up. He felt completely deflated b/c he knows he is better

than a number and knows that he was exhausted when he got to the science part of

the test. I told her we were working on getting time and half on his retake. It

was huge for him to even get to that meeting and all of us walked out thinking

why was she in that position. Didn't seem to " get it " at all.

> > > > We then decided to skip the tour and try to get in to an admissions

person 1:1, instead of the large group. She was very positive and kept telling

him that a 21 was a very good score and that she was sure he could bring it up

if he retook it. She also gave up options for getting though another glitch with

the foreign language requirement. She also explained that there is a human

component to the application and that it is not all about scores and numbers.

Anyway, what a difference and I am happy we talked with her. I just now have

alot more work ahead in trying to get the foreign lang. requirement figured out.

Don't see him being able to go unless they waver it. Can't see him handling a

college course on top of his HS classes, in order to satisfy 2 yr. foreign lang.

Would be so much easier if he wanted to go to the tech or junior college but he

really wants to go to a 4 yr. school and then eventually engineering.

> > > > So, frustrating for sure. If they only knew how much he has gone through

to get this far.

> > > > in WI

> > > > Roy-17. OCD/Depression/Anxiety ADD

> > > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Maybe he is trying to show dad he is smart? That's dad's issue - not Roys.

Plenty of people think Roy is smart - hey everyone here, right? Smart does

not have to mean doing well in a good college. My daughter is 20, feeling her

way along, just now starting accounting classes part time at a community

college, but she has sold her own original painting at our local art gallery,

gotten certified to offer services to parents with disabled children (paid!),

including CPR and First Aid certification, and has a free range chicken business

going plus her own Etsy store. She still feels incompetent but by starting slow

and doing things she enjoys, she has developed some confidence to start on the

college thing.

Rhonda

Re: Feeling a little down after meeting with

disability resource person

,

This is SO true. After I sent a long e-mail to that dis. resource person b/c

she needed some additional info., I realized that he has had way too much going

on in HS and is really still dealing with the OCD and anxiety. It colors his day

still, about 75% of the time, he reports. I talked to him this aft. about his

need to have such an intense major like physics/eng. when it really is not who

he is. He said he still feels the need to show people he is smart and we had a

long talk about making decisions based on who he really is and not who he is

trying to present to other people. I got him to think about a dif. school in

town that is more hands on, less academic.

I also could refer to my daughter who went to a big competitive university,

struggled through, ended up with a stat/math major and is not making $10/hr.,

living at home, and working in pharm. She had ADD and anxiety and had constant

teary conversations with us. She would have been better going to the more tech

orientated smaller univ. in town.

Also, I could refer to our son who got a full school to go to Stanford. Very

bright but I think was struggling the whole time with anxiety and hypomania from

the then undiag. BP. He told me the other day he got stupid after HS. Stanford

was very competitive and though his grades were high, he still felt stupid. Not

something a parent wants to hear. In Jan. this year, he came home way over the

edge and ended up hosp. and has been home since then. He is better now but

despite the scholarship, don't know if that was the place for him either. It is

easy to get caught up in all the hype and forget what is really best for the

child.

in WI

Roy-17, OCD/Anxiety/Depression, ADD

dd-24

ds-22

ds-20

> >

> > We went to look at a local college, a big step for Roy. We went to the

disability resource person first b/c I thought she would be encouraging and give

us some helpful info on how to proceed with a " non-traditional " student with

challenges. I had all the paperwork (504,ACT scores, health plan) and she looked

at his scores (21 composite, 24 math, 17 science). She had a sour look on her

face and told him he should retake it and then tells him he really needs to get

that science score up. He felt completely deflated b/c he knows he is better

than a number and knows that he was exhausted when he got to the science part of

the test. I told her we were working on getting time and half on his retake. It

was huge for him to even get to that meeting and all of us walked out thinking

why was she in that position. Didn't seem to " get it " at all.

> > We then decided to skip the tour and try to get in to an admissions person

1:1, instead of the large group. She was very positive and kept telling him that

a 21 was a very good score and that she was sure he could bring it up if he

retook it. She also gave up options for getting though another glitch with the

foreign language requirement. She also explained that there is a human component

to the application and that it is not all about scores and numbers. Anyway, what

a difference and I am happy we talked with her. I just now have alot more work

ahead in trying to get the foreign lang. requirement figured out. Don't see him

being able to go unless they waver it. Can't see him handling a college course

on top of his HS classes, in order to satisfy 2 yr. foreign lang. Would be so

much easier if he wanted to go to the tech or junior college but he really wants

to go to a 4 yr. school and then eventually engineering.

> > So, frustrating for sure. If they only knew how much he has gone through

to get this far.

> > in WI

> > Roy-17. OCD/Depression/Anxiety ADD

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You have worked so hard for your son - you inspire me to keep on going! Mine

just had his wisdom teeth out and I am flagging a bit- thanks for the

encouragement.

Rhonda

Re: Re: Feeling a little down after meeting with

disability resource person

That disabilities person sounds awful. Toxic. Beyond unfit for her job. I

am infuriated on Roy's behalf.

About the extended time for testing: My son wouldn't have been able to manage

the ACTs. Thankfully, because he'd gotten 30 (I think it was 30) credits at the

community college, he was able to apply to the state univ. as a transfer

student. Way fortunate. His community college courses were in lieu of high

school. Some semesters he managed little more than a PE class. Most of the

classes were at the pre-college level, but they counted toward the 30 credits.

He did, however, have to take the GED tests. But... the disability

accommodations allowed him extra time on each test and only 1 or 2 tests per

day.

In order to get the accommodations for the GED tests, we asked the GED people

at the community college. They conferred with the community college's

disabilities person and one or both depts submitted the request for

accommodations to some national office (national GED office?) which had to

approve the accommodations. It took a couple months, as I recall. I would

assume that the same process would be followed for the ACTs--and that the

accommodations could include testing on just 1 or 2 subjects per day.

His tuition is less because he takes fewer than 12 credits.

> Curious, when he took 6 credits, did he have to pay the same amount as a

person taking the normal load? He would not have trouble getting the time and

half for tests, since it is on his 504. The problem with taking long tests is

his brain tires and he can't continue, so even when given the option of more

time, he is too burned out to take advantage. I think it is the ADD, anxiety,

and OCD. Just too much effort I guess.

> Yes, when I e-mailed the dis. person with more info about roy, she basically

said " these kids " do not have good success here with finishing their freshman

semester. I think that part. school is prob. not the best for Roy. in WI

> Roy-17 OCD, ADD, Anxiety, Depression.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > We went to look at a local college, a big step for Roy. We went to the

disability resource person first b/c I thought she would be encouraging and give

us some helpful info on how to proceed with a " non-traditional " student with

challenges. I had all the paperwork (504,ACT scores, health plan) and she looked

at his scores (21 composite, 24 math, 17 science). She had a sour look on her

face and told him he should retake it and then tells him he really needs to get

that science score up. He felt completely deflated b/c he knows he is better

than a number and knows that he was exhausted when he got to the science part of

the test. I told her we were working on getting time and half on his retake. It

was huge for him to even get to that meeting and all of us walked out thinking

why was she in that position. Didn't seem to " get it " at all.

> > > > We then decided to skip the tour and try to get in to an admissions

person 1:1, instead of the large group. She was very positive and kept telling

him that a 21 was a very good score and that she was sure he could bring it up

if he retook it. She also gave up options for getting though another glitch with

the foreign language requirement. She also explained that there is a human

component to the application and that it is not all about scores and numbers.

Anyway, what a difference and I am happy we talked with her. I just now have

alot more work ahead in trying to get the foreign lang. requirement figured out.

Don't see him being able to go unless they waver it. Can't see him handling a

college course on top of his HS classes, in order to satisfy 2 yr. foreign lang.

Would be so much easier if he wanted to go to the tech or junior college but he

really wants to go to a 4 yr. school and then eventually engineering.

> > > > So, frustrating for sure. If they only knew how much he has gone

through to get this far.

> > > > in WI

> > > > Roy-17. OCD/Depression/Anxiety ADD

> > > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I'm so happy to hear that today's college visit went so much better! It is

really important that there is a good fit between a student's needs and the

ability of the school to be able to not just say that they can, but actually be

willing to meet them. I like the idea of paying per credit. For many kids with

disabilities that will take a lot of pressure off of them if it is better for

them to take less credits per semester. For my nephew with dyslexia, it was a

huge mistake for him to take a full load the first semester of college. He had

to drop one to be able to cope with the rest of his school work load, and it

would have been much less stressful if he could have started off with a smaller

course load for his first semester right from the beginning.

Good for you that you thought to take him to see another school the next day so

that he could feel encouraged again!!!

Re: Feeling a little down after meeting with

disability resource person

Your daughter sounds creative and a good entrepreneur. I was a diplomat and told

the disability resource person that her college was not a good fit for Roy at

this time. lots of thanks, etc. Sometimes, I feel like such a b s er because I

work in special ed and in this case, have and may again run across her in a

meeting. So I have to work both sides of the fence.

I thought we should get back on the horse and went to another college today, a

polytechnical one right in town. Much better fit and both admissions staff and

the dis. resource person were more down to earth and Roy thought that the

resource person got his situation. She kept saying that her office was there to

make sure he got the most out of his education.She also mentioned the ASPIRE

program which Roy liked because of the emphasis on kids connecting with other

kids. We felt much better after those meetings and more positive. And the good

thing he pays per credit so no worries about how many credits he takes per term.

Yes, that smart thing comes from years of kids saying things like " oh I guess

you didn't inherit the smart gene like your sister and brothers " . Yes, actually

happened. His sibs all were excellent students, without trying as much as he

does. Also, alot of preassure from dad. And just the way the whole educational

system is set up. More difficult to measure creativity, empathy, intuition, self

insight, and general street smarts. If I was stranded on an island, I would want

him there and not my smartest child who has not an ounce of common sense.

in WI

Roy-17. OCD/Anxiety/Depression, ADD.

> > >

> > > We went to look at a local college, a big step for Roy. We went to the

disability resource person first b/c I thought she would be encouraging and give

us some helpful info on how to proceed with a " non-traditional " student with

challenges. I had all the paperwork (504,ACT scores, health plan) and she looked

at his scores (21 composite, 24 math, 17 science). She had a sour look on her

face and told him he should retake it and then tells him he really needs to get

that science score up. He felt completely deflated b/c he knows he is better

than a number and knows that he was exhausted when he got to the science part of

the test. I told her we were working on getting time and half on his retake. It

was huge for him to even get to that meeting and all of us walked out thinking

why was she in that position. Didn't seem to " get it " at all.

> > > We then decided to skip the tour and try to get in to an admissions

person 1:1, instead of the large group. She was very positive and kept telling

him that a 21 was a very good score and that she was sure he could bring it up

if he retook it. She also gave up options for getting though another glitch with

the foreign language requirement. She also explained that there is a human

component to the application and that it is not all about scores and numbers.

Anyway, what a difference and I am happy we talked with her. I just now have

alot more work ahead in trying to get the foreign lang. requirement figured out.

Don't see him being able to go unless they waver it. Can't see him handling a

college course on top of his HS classes, in order to satisfy 2 yr. foreign lang.

Would be so much easier if he wanted to go to the tech or junior college but he

really wants to go to a 4 yr. school and then eventually engineering.

> > > So, frustrating for sure. If they only knew how much he has gone through

to get this far.

> > > in WI

> > > Roy-17. OCD/Depression/Anxiety ADD

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >