Re: Anxiety and OCD - new to group in Kentucky

June 24, 2012

You are dealing with alot now. I have 4 kids and I have my hands d full. Wow, 6

kids and also dealing with the move/separation. It is good your daughter can

tell you what is going on for her. Sometimes, it is so overwhelming for the

teenage kids that they can't identify what is going on in their head. You said

the Zoloft made her more depressed. Maybe another SSRI would help her. Also,

sometimes when you start on an SSRI, depression increases at the beg. and then

levels off, at least for my daughter and I. One son and I have had good results

with Lexapro for anxiety. My husband and daughter Zoloft and my OCD son Prozac.

So everyone is dif.

Another thought with the kids. I grew up in a chaotic household, tried to help

my mom run the house, hoping it would settle down the chaos. Your kids may have

all had their roles that worked for them to settle down the chaos. Now that the

situation is dif., they may feel like they don't know what role they have,

especiallly in a large family where everyone kind of finds a place to fit in.

Just a thought.

As far as meds, I was reluctant and some people here have had good results with

alternative. Didn't work for our family though. Sometimes the anxiety is so

high, need to settle that down first and med. was the only thing we could get to

work. Now I am happy we finally found something for my son so he can function.

Like you said, your older son can hold a job and be functional. What I am sure

you wish for all of your kids. Hope you can find some peace and support from

this group.

>

> I have 6 children ranging in age from 10yo to 23yo (5 sons & 1 daughter)

> all of which has some form of anxiety. I am seeking help for my kids my

> 17yo daughter and 11yo son.

>

> Trying not to get too lengthy for your sake but if I do, please accept my

> apology now. ;-) I have had concerns for my children for many years due to

> the high stress level in our home and had attributed (assumed) their

> behaviors were due to the constant stress and upheaval at home. My husband

> and I separated. We have been out for 6 months and instead of getting

> better as I had hoped, it has actually gotten worse. A close friend has

> given me the opinion that the kids are decompressing and feeling safe now

> to show me how they truly feel whereas before they kept a mask on to help

> keep the peace at home or were probably afraid to " let it all out " . I

> believe this is a reasonable conclusion.

>

> The two that I am most worried about at this time are my daughter (17yo)

> and one of my youngest sons (11yo). Both children have had a generalized

> anxiety from a very early age (under 5) with worries about things that I

> always thought were not " age appropriate " . Such as asking if the bridge we

> are driving across will fall down (at 4 yo) and then worrying excessively

> about it happening and what happens if/when it does. It was as if the worry

> or thought was stuck and they could not let it go. My son also developed

> the need to check with me about absolutely everything, constantly asking

> " is this ok " or " is everything ok " ? I attributed it to the uneasy feeling

> in the household and that he was just a worrier. Last fall around his 11th

> birthday, I noticed that he seemed to be washing his hands a lot to the

> point that I had to start putting a heavy lotion or cream on them because

> they were becoming raw and irritated. Now within the last few months he has

> decided that everything has germs and he cannot touch anything without

> worrying that he should wash (and then rewash) his hands. Over the past

> month he has decided that certain doors in the house cannot be touched so

> he has his younger brother open them for him. :-( After reading and

> researching, I have come to the realization that he has (and has always

> had) OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). During my reading and research I

> have also come to the realization that my daughter also struggles with OCD

> along with her Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Social

> Anxiety.

>

> My 18yo son was put on Zoloft for Generalized Anxiety, Panic Attacks and

> Social Anxiety at age 11yo and we did try my daughter on Zoloft when she

> was younger 11-12 but it seemed to have side effects for her including more

> of a depression state of mind where it worked wonders for him. He is still

> taking it and feels the symptoms coming back every time we have tried

> weaning him off it. With the medication, he is living on his own

> successfully holding a supervisory type position in contact with the public

> everyday at work. I hated using medication but at the time we had tried

> many alternative treatments (from 9-11yo) with him and nothing helped. His

> symptoms were such that the panic attacks kept him from functioning so you

> could not miss the signs. Some how I missed the fact that my daughter was

> struggling with basically the same thing only worse with the OCD thrown

> into the mix and did not pursue any further treatment for her.

>

> She has recently let me know that she was " hiding " things from me because

> she did not want to burden or upset me. She was masking or covering so that

> she seemed ok or normal was her comment. Now she is in a complete state of

> constant anxiety because she says that she is basically an adult but does

> not feel like she is ready to deal with the world. She knows that she is

> lacking the skills and abilities to do so. I am heart broken that I had

> been so wrapped up in my problems that I did not realize the depth of her

> pain and struggles. At home she is very responsible and is actually better

> at keeping the household running than I am so I think that made it easy for

> me to just overlook any small things that seemed " off " to me. I am not

> going to dwell on the past and what should have or could have been done. I

> want to focus on the future and getting her the help and treatment that she

> needs. As well as help and treatment for her younger brother. I am also

> thankful at this point that his symptoms blew to such a proportion that I

> had to notice or I may not have come to the realization that my daughter

> was also struggling.

>

> I will also note that my daughter struggles with learning disabilities that

> greatly hinder her reading and written communications - auditory processing

> disorder, dyslexia, dysgraphia - which add to her anxiety and have

> developed into what seems to manifest as a fear of reading and writing. At

> this point, I am researching and interviewing to find a therapist -

> psychiatrist - for her and her younger brother. I am also looking into

> diet, nutrition, vitamins, herbals, etc that may help balance them. I was

> very careful about those things when they were young but over the past 5

> years as the problems with my husband and married life got worse, I just

> gradually quit paying attention to it and now think that may be why there

> symptoms have grown over the last several years.

>

> Feel free to email any insights, suggestions, recommendations that you may

> have. I have a preference for natural alternatives vs medication but I am

> open to looking into anything that may help them but do realize that (as

> with my other son) sometimes medication is the only way to help.

>

> Cheryl

>

June 24, 2012

Hi! Truthfully, as someone who has OCD and with two kids with it, I have found

that medication makes a huge difference. I was just telling my father that my

son is a completely different person when he is on and off medication. My

daughter did so well on medication and her life was so hard for her before that

I wouldn't risk taking her off of it. I have been on and off medication, and I

have come to terms with the fact that my brain just needs medication for me to

be able to function well and not be ruled by OCD completely. Has your

daughter's learning issues been addressed? At her age, she is still entitled to

special ed services to ensure that her reading and writing are up to par so that

she might feel less stressed about these. If you have any questions about her

educational needs, feel free to ask because I am a learning specialist.

Anxiety and OCD - new to group in Kentucky

I have 6 children ranging in age from 10yo to 23yo (5 sons & 1 daughter)

all of which has some form of anxiety. I am seeking help for my kids my

17yo daughter and 11yo son.

Trying not to get too lengthy for your sake but if I do, please accept my

apology now. ;-) I have had concerns for my children for many years due to

the high stress level in our home and had attributed (assumed) their

behaviors were due to the constant stress and upheaval at home. My husband

and I separated. We have been out for 6 months and instead of getting

better as I had hoped, it has actually gotten worse. A close friend has

given me the opinion that the kids are decompressing and feeling safe now

to show me how they truly feel whereas before they kept a mask on to help

keep the peace at home or were probably afraid to " let it all out " . I

believe this is a reasonable conclusion.

The two that I am most worried about at this time are my daughter (17yo)

and one of my youngest sons (11yo). Both children have had a generalized

anxiety from a very early age (under 5) with worries about things that I

always thought were not " age appropriate " . Such as asking if the bridge we

are driving across will fall down (at 4 yo) and then worrying excessively

about it happening and what happens if/when it does. It was as if the worry

or thought was stuck and they could not let it go. My son also developed

the need to check with me about absolutely everything, constantly asking

" is this ok " or " is everything ok " ? I attributed it to the uneasy feeling

in the household and that he was just a worrier. Last fall around his 11th

birthday, I noticed that he seemed to be washing his hands a lot to the

point that I had to start putting a heavy lotion or cream on them because

they were becoming raw and irritated. Now within the last few months he has

decided that everything has germs and he cannot touch anything without

worrying that he should wash (and then rewash) his hands. Over the past

month he has decided that certain doors in the house cannot be touched so

he has his younger brother open them for him. :-( After reading and

researching, I have come to the realization that he has (and has always

had) OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). During my reading and research I

have also come to the realization that my daughter also struggles with OCD

along with her Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Social

Anxiety.

My 18yo son was put on Zoloft for Generalized Anxiety, Panic Attacks and

Social Anxiety at age 11yo and we did try my daughter on Zoloft when she

was younger 11-12 but it seemed to have side effects for her including more

of a depression state of mind where it worked wonders for him. He is still

taking it and feels the symptoms coming back every time we have tried

weaning him off it. With the medication, he is living on his own

successfully holding a supervisory type position in contact with the public

everyday at work. I hated using medication but at the time we had tried

many alternative treatments (from 9-11yo) with him and nothing helped. His

symptoms were such that the panic attacks kept him from functioning so you

could not miss the signs. Some how I missed the fact that my daughter was

struggling with basically the same thing only worse with the OCD thrown

into the mix and did not pursue any further treatment for her.

She has recently let me know that she was " hiding " things from me because

she did not want to burden or upset me. She was masking or covering so that

she seemed ok or normal was her comment. Now she is in a complete state of

constant anxiety because she says that she is basically an adult but does

not feel like she is ready to deal with the world. She knows that she is

lacking the skills and abilities to do so. I am heart broken that I had

been so wrapped up in my problems that I did not realize the depth of her

pain and struggles. At home she is very responsible and is actually better

at keeping the household running than I am so I think that made it easy for

me to just overlook any small things that seemed " off " to me. I am not

going to dwell on the past and what should have or could have been done. I

want to focus on the future and getting her the help and treatment that she

needs. As well as help and treatment for her younger brother. I am also

thankful at this point that his symptoms blew to such a proportion that I

had to notice or I may not have come to the realization that my daughter

was also struggling.

I will also note that my daughter struggles with learning disabilities that

greatly hinder her reading and written communications - auditory processing

disorder, dyslexia, dysgraphia - which add to her anxiety and have

developed into what seems to manifest as a fear of reading and writing. At

this point, I am researching and interviewing to find a therapist -

psychiatrist - for her and her younger brother. I am also looking into

diet, nutrition, vitamins, herbals, etc that may help balance them. I was

very careful about those things when they were young but over the past 5

years as the problems with my husband and married life got worse, I just

gradually quit paying attention to it and now think that may be why there

symptoms have grown over the last several years.

Feel free to email any insights, suggestions, recommendations that you may

have. I have a preference for natural alternatives vs medication but I am

open to looking into anything that may help them but do realize that (as

with my other son) sometimes medication is the only way to help.

Cheryl

June 24, 2012

Hi Cheryl, welcome!

I'm a single mom, 3 sons - twins (not identical) age 23 and oldest is 27.

, a twin, suffers from OCD; he also has diagnoses of Aspergers (on autism

spectrum) and dysgraphia; the latter he got due to his illegible writing that

began with the OCD, tho he'd always had some fine/gross motor skill problem

areas (awkward pencil grasp, writing big/crowded...).

His OCD begain in 6th grade. Suddenly all this touching, repeating,

avoidance.... Affected his writing, his reading and thus school. We had to set

up a 504 Plan for him with the school to help us through (accommodate) all the

problem areas.

We eventually got past all the initial behaviors, but in high school after

stopping Celexa, a few months later it was " thoughts " and his OCD came back as

the " scrupulosity " type (religion, God, be good...) but basically " bad

thoughts. " Refused meds, but he has managed to graduate college. Sometimes

the OCD is the problem, other times seems the Aspergers areas are more problems.

So that's a " brief " summary of us. The rest of us have some OCD type quirks

sometimes, but nothing like the disorder that takes over. (I'll re-check things

or get scrupe type thoughts too but I can shrug them off).

It's hard sometimes to " see " what our kids are going through, or maybe just how

bad it is, what with the everyday roles of life going on. My oldest is most

likely ADHD (we all say so) but he was doing okay grade-wise in school so I

didn't seek out any eval. It was after high school when he wanted to go to

college that how much he actually struggled during high school was revealed to

me (Guilt!). He's also started panic attacks as an adult.

So far as therapy, hope you can find someone who is experienced with OCD, has a

good understanding of it. If you've read enough about the treatment/therapy for

it, you should be able to tell if the therapist knows how to treat after the

first few sessions (if not the first!). We couldn't find anyone, so after

reading so much about it and how therapy should work, we just slowly worked on

things ourselves. Much longer process that way!

If you read some of the recent posts, you'll see some " alternative " type

supplements/treatments that others have tried/used. There isn't one alternative

that has worked for all.

Well this has gotten long too, just wanted to say " hi " and glad you found our

group!

>

> I have 6 children ranging in age from 10yo to 23yo (5 sons & 1 daughter)

> all of which has some form of anxiety. I am seeking help for my kids my

> 17yo daughter and 11yo son.

>

> Trying not to get too lengthy for your sake but if I do, please

June 24, 2012

Hi,

Just a note to welcome you to the group. I'm new also new and have already

found much support here. It's so nice to be able pour out your heart to people

who " get it. "

My son is now 19, diagnosed at 14 and is on zoloft, which he is tapering down

under the supervision of his psychiatrist.

You wrote:

" I noticed that he seemed to be washing his hands a lot to the

point that I had to start putting a heavy lotion or cream on them because they

were becoming raw and irritated. Now within the last few months he has decided

that everything has germs and he cannot touch anything without worrying that he

should wash (and then rewash) his hands. Over the past month he has decided that

certain doors in the house cannot be touched so he has his younger brother open

them for him. "

This is very similar to what my son went through. With meds and therapy this has

improved.

Sounds like you are approaching this in a very healthy way. We can't change the

past-if we had known better we would have done things differently. Knowing what

we know now, we can support them from here on.

Best wishes to your family.

Judy

June 25, 2012

Welcome & I hope you find good help for all the kids who need it. I also have a

17yo daughter with OCD/Social Anxiety. I am the one who thinks she's not at all

ready for the " real world, " while she is in a Pan state of denial (at

least to some degree). She is on Celexa, which has worked some without side

effects. ly, I don't notice a huge difference with the medicine - it did

lower her general anxiety level, but certainly isn't a cure & the OCD behaviors

are still going on. For us, the ERP/CBT is the key to success. My daughter

just isn't working on that enough to beat her OCD into submission.

Good luck to you & hope you find a great medicine or therapy that helps.

Dot

>

> I have 6 children ranging in age from 10yo to 23yo (5 sons & 1 daughter)

> all of which has some form of anxiety. I am seeking help for my kids my

> 17yo daughter and 11yo son.

>

June 28, 2012

Just wanted to welcome you to the group. Â It has been a huge help to me. Â So

often something someone posts resonates, is so familiar, and it really helps to

feel less alone with this frustrating disorder. Â My son Ethan was diagnosed at

age 15, is now almost 17, but after having a similar epiphany about having OCD

that you describe and tons of reading, we now know he has had it since at least

age 6. Â That is his earliest memory of it. Â He is on the max dose of Luvox,

which has decreased the intensity of his symptoms by around 50%, which they tell

me is a good response. Â It in no way eradicates his OCD, tho--I am envious of

the people who do report a total turnaround with just meds, because that does

happen for some! Â We also do the fish oil and multivitamin, and 1800 mg of NAC,

which is an OTC amino acid that has few side effects, is cheap, and I do feel it

has some positive effect. Â It does need to be started slowly and increased

gradually to

avoid stomach upset and takes a few months to see benefit. Â It can be taken

with an SSRI.

He sees a psychologist weekly and has for a year. Â He is only in the last month

or so really been pushing ERP, because I am screaming about it--it is so hard to

find a doctor who can do ERP. Â We actually gave our doctor a copy of A Ray of

Hope by Ray St. , a young man who did ERP primarily on his own and with his

mother, and I think our doctor is using it as a guide! Â I try to do what I can

but, as I tell the doctor, I am too emotionally caught up in my son's struggles

to be an effective therapist for him. Â We are very close, but he wants his

independence, and that complicates everything. Â Motivating our kids to do the

ERP is hard. Â Who wants to confront something they are terrified of? Â My son

has had some significant successes with it, though. Â It really does work.

Exercise, too, has been really helpful. Â My son doesn't like to, isn't very

athletic, but he is walking/jogging (lackadaisically, but he is doing it) and

swimming at the Y, and it does decrease anxiety and improve his sleep--a real

problem in the summer because he wants to sleep all day and stay up all night,

which we are trying to modify, not allowing him to stay in bed past 11 am or go

to bed past 1 am. Â Always hard to differentiate between what is OCD, what is

med side effect, what is normal adolescence!

One quick note--we had a psychiatrist put him on Geodon when he was first dx and

that was a nightmare of side effects--we tried Clonidine too and that just made

him sleepy all the time. Â We may try Intuniv now (basically Clonidine but

longer acting, supposed to be less sleep-inducing) and I may try Inositol, many

here seem to like it.

Best of luck to you and all your family. Â Your children will improve--things

will get better! Â The first step is knowing what you are dealing with, and you

seem to have all the right instincts to find help. Â

in Ohio, mom to two teenage sons Â Â Â

________________________________

To:

Cc: Cheryl Kaelin

Sent: Sunday, June 24, 2012 12:32 PM

Subject: Anxiety and OCD - new to group in Kentucky

Â