activities for son

[Guest guest]

Sorry I have not been updating. We're driving 1 1/2 hrs each way to see son and

that seems to be taking all our time.

Thanks to all for thoughts and prayers; we have used them all and borrowed

ahead. Since first visit with son last Wednesday, SW and doc scheduled for me

and dds to go down on Sat. and spend day at aquarium with son, then me, dad and

dds went down on Sunday for dad to sit in psych unit. Son came out with nurse

and sat with dad about an hour, even played a game of cards.

On Tues. dad, me and dds went down for dad and son to go off-unit; they had a

great time bowling together. All seemed to be going super in terms of exposures.

Even though the SW and doc were not talking in terms of ERP. they were setting

up the meetings as if they were exposures, with a lot of staff support, etc.

They are giving 30 mg Prozac and .25 Risperdal every day, plus more Risperdal as

needed.

So SW and doc began talking about son coming back home today. However, last

night as we were bringing son back from bowling, he said he did not want dad to

come on unit and if dad came on unit, he should not touch anything. He said he

did not remember Dad coming on unit last Sunday or touching anything. I reported

this to doc and SW.

So we drove back down today to discuss things. SW told us they were going to

have son, dad and me go into son's bedroom. They did not tell son we were coming

and he just saw us walk into unit. He was very upset about surprise. Even more

upset about plan to go in his bedroom. He would not come with us, so we went in

with SW. He's still upset this evening when I called on phone and he would not

talk to sister.

So - I am hoping he works through it. Thanks if you are still reading!! I need

help with two things - SW calmly told us she was going to refer son to our local

mental health center upon discharge, where they would follow his meds and see

him once a week for counseling. This is coming from 24-hour constant staff

supervision. We live in a rural county where they will not even do home visits

for adolescents. I am certain they have no training with OCD.

Lindner has a partial hosp. but SW said it would only be short term anyway and

would not really address son's needs, plus distance factor, etc. I'm thinking -

how is our local MHC going to address son's needs?? She said, well if he

decompensates at home, just bring him back to ER and they will readmit.

I have a call in to an ERP therapist in Cols who at least can give us the right

exercises, but haven't heard back, and I'm feeling kind of desperate right now.

What to do?? Son is doing his hygiene with their constant prompting, going to

bed for same reason. They have a ton of adults around him all the time. What's

he going to do at home? ( said this too about her son - I CAN RELATE!)

Also -- he has NO activities going at home. What's he going to do all day when

he does come home? I will take any and all ideas!! I'm looking at the nearest

YMCA, wondering if he can spend time there.

thanks for any help!

Rhonda

Re: advice for how to talk to son

Just seeing this post Rhonda, so that answers my questions re phone calls and

visits. And that he is not coming home anytime soon. Guess you are just looking

around at all the accommodations as you said, and wondering whether to take

things down while he's gone....

I think I would take my house back, and expect to keep it that way, and use

that as a starting point when he returns. That was the place I got to re

boundaries, I was very clear, so same thing really.

I think you are on the right track with just being as supportive as you can,

empathizing. It can be really hard to see them there suffering, and he may pull

on your heartstrings to get you to take him home. Just keep remembering he will

suffer as much at home, but with no positive outcome possible.

Thinking you will read this after your visit, so let us know how it goes.

Hugs to you!

Barb

>

> I was

[Guest guest]

Hi! I'm glad that you have had some satisfying experiences with your son and

that he has had this respite to get showered again, etc. On the other hand,

what he really needs is an OCD specialist for both his meds and treatment. I am

certainly not a dr., but it sounds like he is on too low a dosage of Prozac for

how symptomatic he is. Here is a link from the OC Foundation as to dosaging and

medication:

http://www.ocfoundation.org/Meds_Kids.aspx

I'm sorry that I don't remember how old your son is and what your family

circumstances are, but what is your best bet is to see an OCD specialist

(psychopharmacologist) at least for a consult, no matter how far you have to

travel, to get your son on the proper medication and dosage. Also, he really

needs to be doing ERP in a progressive structured way so that it isn't a matter

of just bringing his dad in and then he deals with it. That will just make him

angry and probably not have lasting benefit. If he is old enough, he could go

to MacCleans in Boston, an OCD residential treatment center. Another thought is

to do ERP through Skype with an OCD specialist who is willing to do sessions

that way.

Meanwhile, take really good care of yourself, your marriage, and your daughter

and pat yourselves on the backs for being such loving, supportive parents!

activities for son

Sorry I have not been updating. We're driving 1 1/2 hrs each way to see son and

that seems to be taking all our time.

Thanks to all for thoughts and prayers; we have used them all and borrowed

ahead. Since first visit with son last Wednesday, SW and doc scheduled for me

and dds to go down on Sat. and spend day at aquarium with son, then me, dad and

dds went down on Sunday for dad to sit in psych unit. Son came out with nurse

and sat with dad about an hour, even played a game of cards.

On Tues. dad, me and dds went down for dad and son to go off-unit; they had a

great time bowling together. All seemed to be going super in terms of exposures.

Even though the SW and doc were not talking in terms of ERP. they were setting

up the meetings as if they were exposures, with a lot of staff support, etc.

They are giving 30 mg Prozac and .25 Risperdal every day, plus more Risperdal as

needed.

So SW and doc began talking about son coming back home today. However, last

night as we were bringing son back from bowling, he said he did not want dad to

come on unit and if dad came on unit, he should not touch anything. He said he

did not remember Dad coming on unit last Sunday or touching anything. I reported

this to doc and SW.

So we drove back down today to discuss things. SW told us they were going to

have son, dad and me go into son's bedroom. They did not tell son we were coming

and he just saw us walk into unit. He was very upset about surprise. Even more

upset about plan to go in his bedroom. He would not come with us, so we went in

with SW. He's still upset this evening when I called on phone and he would not

talk to sister.

So - I am hoping he works through it. Thanks if you are still reading!! I need

help with two things - SW calmly told us she was going to refer son to our local

mental health center upon discharge, where they would follow his meds and see

him once a week for counseling. This is coming from 24-hour constant staff

supervision. We live in a rural county where they will not even do home visits

for adolescents. I am certain they have no training with OCD.

Lindner has a partial hosp. but SW said it would only be short term anyway and

would not really address son's needs, plus distance factor, etc. I'm thinking -

how is our local MHC going to address son's needs?? She said, well if he

decompensates at home, just bring him back to ER and they will readmit.

I have a call in to an ERP therapist in Cols who at least can give us the right

exercises, but haven't heard back, and I'm feeling kind of desperate right now.

What to do?? Son is doing his hygiene with their constant prompting, going to

bed for same reason. They have a ton of adults around him all the time. What's

he going to do at home? ( said this too about her son - I CAN RELATE!)

Also -- he has NO activities going at home. What's he going to do all day when

he does come home? I will take any and all ideas!! I'm looking at the nearest

YMCA, wondering if he can spend time there.

thanks for any help!

Rhonda

Re: advice for how to talk to son

Just seeing this post Rhonda, so that answers my questions re phone calls and

visits. And that he is not coming home anytime soon. Guess you are just looking

around at all the accommodations as you said, and wondering whether to take

things down while he's gone....

I think I would take my house back, and expect to keep it that way, and use that

as a starting point when he returns. That was the place I got to re boundaries,

I was very clear, so same thing really.

I think you are on the right track with just being as supportive as you can,

empathizing. It can be really hard to see them there suffering, and he may pull

on your heartstrings to get you to take him home. Just keep remembering he will

suffer as much at home, but with no positive outcome possible.

Thinking you will read this after your visit, so let us know how it goes.

Hugs to you!

Barb

>

> I was

[Guest guest]

Hi! I'm glad that you have had some satisfying experiences with your son and

that he has had this respite to get showered again, etc. On the other hand,

what he really needs is an OCD specialist for both his meds and treatment. I am

certainly not a dr., but it sounds like he is on too low a dosage of Prozac for

how symptomatic he is. Here is a link from the OC Foundation as to dosaging and

medication:

http://www.ocfoundation.org/Meds_Kids.aspx

I'm sorry that I don't remember how old your son is and what your family

circumstances are, but what is your best bet is to see an OCD specialist

(psychopharmacologist) at least for a consult, no matter how far you have to

travel, to get your son on the proper medication and dosage. Also, he really

needs to be doing ERP in a progressive structured way so that it isn't a matter

of just bringing his dad in and then he deals with it. That will just make him

angry and probably not have lasting benefit. If he is old enough, he could go

to MacCleans in Boston, an OCD residential treatment center. Another thought is

to do ERP through Skype with an OCD specialist who is willing to do sessions

that way.

Meanwhile, take really good care of yourself, your marriage, and your daughter

and pat yourselves on the backs for being such loving, supportive parents!

activities for son

Sorry I have not been updating. We're driving 1 1/2 hrs each way to see son and

that seems to be taking all our time.

Thanks to all for thoughts and prayers; we have used them all and borrowed

ahead. Since first visit with son last Wednesday, SW and doc scheduled for me

and dds to go down on Sat. and spend day at aquarium with son, then me, dad and

dds went down on Sunday for dad to sit in psych unit. Son came out with nurse

and sat with dad about an hour, even played a game of cards.

On Tues. dad, me and dds went down for dad and son to go off-unit; they had a

great time bowling together. All seemed to be going super in terms of exposures.

Even though the SW and doc were not talking in terms of ERP. they were setting

up the meetings as if they were exposures, with a lot of staff support, etc.

They are giving 30 mg Prozac and .25 Risperdal every day, plus more Risperdal as

needed.

So SW and doc began talking about son coming back home today. However, last

night as we were bringing son back from bowling, he said he did not want dad to

come on unit and if dad came on unit, he should not touch anything. He said he

did not remember Dad coming on unit last Sunday or touching anything. I reported

this to doc and SW.

So we drove back down today to discuss things. SW told us they were going to

have son, dad and me go into son's bedroom. They did not tell son we were coming

and he just saw us walk into unit. He was very upset about surprise. Even more

upset about plan to go in his bedroom. He would not come with us, so we went in

with SW. He's still upset this evening when I called on phone and he would not

talk to sister.

So - I am hoping he works through it. Thanks if you are still reading!! I need

help with two things - SW calmly told us she was going to refer son to our local

mental health center upon discharge, where they would follow his meds and see

him once a week for counseling. This is coming from 24-hour constant staff

supervision. We live in a rural county where they will not even do home visits

for adolescents. I am certain they have no training with OCD.

Lindner has a partial hosp. but SW said it would only be short term anyway and

would not really address son's needs, plus distance factor, etc. I'm thinking -

how is our local MHC going to address son's needs?? She said, well if he

decompensates at home, just bring him back to ER and they will readmit.

I have a call in to an ERP therapist in Cols who at least can give us the right

exercises, but haven't heard back, and I'm feeling kind of desperate right now.

What to do?? Son is doing his hygiene with their constant prompting, going to

bed for same reason. They have a ton of adults around him all the time. What's

he going to do at home? ( said this too about her son - I CAN RELATE!)

Also -- he has NO activities going at home. What's he going to do all day when

he does come home? I will take any and all ideas!! I'm looking at the nearest

YMCA, wondering if he can spend time there.

thanks for any help!

Rhonda

Re: advice for how to talk to son

Just seeing this post Rhonda, so that answers my questions re phone calls and

visits. And that he is not coming home anytime soon. Guess you are just looking

around at all the accommodations as you said, and wondering whether to take

things down while he's gone....

I think I would take my house back, and expect to keep it that way, and use that

as a starting point when he returns. That was the place I got to re boundaries,

I was very clear, so same thing really.

I think you are on the right track with just being as supportive as you can,

empathizing. It can be really hard to see them there suffering, and he may pull

on your heartstrings to get you to take him home. Just keep remembering he will

suffer as much at home, but with no positive outcome possible.

Thinking you will read this after your visit, so let us know how it goes.

Hugs to you!

Barb

>

> I was

[Guest guest]

Hi Jordana - thanks so much for those pointers. I totally agree that's what he

needs & I'm a little scared bringing him back home not knowing if he's going to

stay on track. A little scary too if they are damaging him with how they are

doing the ERP. It's hard to keep coming up with good options as quickly as they

change things up on us. You are always so comforting and encouraging, thanks

again.

Rhonda

Re: advice for how to talk to son

Just seeing this post Rhonda, so that answers my questions re phone calls and

visits. And that he is not coming home anytime soon. Guess you are just looking

around at all the accommodations as you said, and wondering whether to take

things down while he's gone....

I think I would take my house back, and expect to keep it that way, and use

that as a starting point when he returns. That was the place I got to re

boundaries, I was very clear, so same thing really.

I think you are on the right track with just being as supportive as you can,

empathizing. It can be really hard to see them there suffering, and he may pull

on your heartstrings to get you to take him home. Just keep remembering he will

suffer as much at home, but with no positive outcome possible.

Thinking you will read this after your visit, so let us know how it goes.

Hugs to you!

Barb

>

> I was

[Guest guest]

Hi Jordana - thanks so much for those pointers. I totally agree that's what he

needs & I'm a little scared bringing him back home not knowing if he's going to

stay on track. A little scary too if they are damaging him with how they are

doing the ERP. It's hard to keep coming up with good options as quickly as they

change things up on us. You are always so comforting and encouraging, thanks

again.

Rhonda

Re: advice for how to talk to son

Just seeing this post Rhonda, so that answers my questions re phone calls and

visits. And that he is not coming home anytime soon. Guess you are just looking

around at all the accommodations as you said, and wondering whether to take

things down while he's gone....

I think I would take my house back, and expect to keep it that way, and use

that as a starting point when he returns. That was the place I got to re

boundaries, I was very clear, so same thing really.

I think you are on the right track with just being as supportive as you can,

empathizing. It can be really hard to see them there suffering, and he may pull

on your heartstrings to get you to take him home. Just keep remembering he will

suffer as much at home, but with no positive outcome possible.

Thinking you will read this after your visit, so let us know how it goes.

Hugs to you!

Barb

>

> I was

[Guest guest]

Hello Rhonda,

It's great that your your son had some success with the ERP therapy. How does

he feel about it? Did it make him feel more hopeful and in control of his OCD?

Any sucess in this is something to celebrate and to build on.

I agree that you need to keep your son busy when he comes home. It would be so

tempting for him to fall back into old habits. I would sometimes keep my son

busy by going to movies with him, renting movies, or anything else he wanted to

do. It took a lot of time but I think it was well worth it. It also kept our

relatiohip on a more positive level. Instead of constantly battling the OCD, we

could take time out and do something else.

I wish I could come up with more ideas for you and your son. Just keep digging

and I'm sure you'll find something that works for you.

Best,

Joni