Beginning The Process

July 2, 2012

My wife brought my son (who shows a lot of the symptoms associated with OCD) to

an OCD clinic last Monday. But he was close-lipped and did not want to talk

about anything. I spoke at length with the therapist later in the week. She

stated that there cannot be any treatment until he accepts there is a problem

and is a willing participant. Her only advice was that things will continue to

get worse for him and everyone until we confront this. This would be nothing

less than an intervention where we provide him with an ultimatum. This would be

to participate in the treatment program or be checked into a psychiatric unit at

a hospital when his issues flare up. Typically, they don't want the hospital

alternative, but have to know that we are serious about this. Well, we did not

have to wait long until his next episode. We had a day of reprieve on Saturday

and then Sunday he started the day off argumentative and wouldn't back down when

my wife told him to go to his room. It was time!

I called the Psychiatric Hot Line which informed me that I had to call 911 and

request an officer trained in psychiatric emergencies. She then informed me that

unless he was perceived as dangerous to others or himself there is nothing they

would do. I called the non-emergency number for the police who confirmed this

but also thought that maybe having an officer show up would help. I cannot

explain all of the emotions I was experiencing at the time. How could this be

happening? Was I doing the right thing? Guilt, Anger, Shame, etc. This is tough

stuff!!!!

We did confront him and told him the options. To get checked into a pychiatric

hospital or see the Director at the local Anxiety and OCD clinic. I spoke with

him on Friday who basically reiterated the same thing that the therapist did,

that unless he was willing to participate, there was nothing that they could do.

He suggested that he meet with him if he was willing to do so. Our son

reluctantly agreed to meet with him yesterday following the confrontation, but

also understood that if this did not work that we would have to resort to the

hospital. Things started to calm down and now we await the meeting with the

Director. I can only hope that he opens to this.

I am totally second guessing myself and would greatly appreciate any words on

this. Thanks.

July 2, 2012

Hi ,

I am about 3 weeks new to this group. However, understand how hard this is as a

parent.

Would you mind sharing how old your son is?

Our daughter is almost 8. My husband and I had been for a year and a half

(since she was diagnosed) trying to get our child to accept that she has OCD.

What helped her accept her special needs were a series of several things.

Take what is useful for you and leave the rest.

As parents we are reading together Tamar E. Chansky, Phd book-- Freeing your

child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder--. ** On page 14 there is a story

called " Welcome to Holland " Two weeks ago I read that short story to my brother,

while my daughter was also in the room. ( realizing it would impact her more to

hear it read for someone else--than for me just to read it to her). Sure enough

since she did not think I was reading that page for her she " got it " . I

struggled with doing this as it seemed almost " harsh " for me to read it out

loud. I also got harsh words from my brother who does not understand my child's

OCD for reading with her in the room, he did not like that. Later, he

understood. In the moment I took a lot of harsh criticism for my choice to read

it out loud. The book is for parents. Not the child. So by no means am I

recommending reading to anyones child --unless you feel it may work like it did

for me with our child. Nor does the author of the book recommend it be read to

children, I just felt I needed to read it so she could hear it. -- it was the

first thing that really helped me feel hope as a parent (that little story). I

hope you and your wife can read it, it is an excellent book,due to copy write, I

cannot put the Holland story in this email.

Then after reading that story-- the same week our child spent some time with two

other girls one has downs syndrome, another has autism. Being with these girls

for 5 days in a group setting for a day camp caused her to desire to work on her

OCD. I will give due credit to lots of prayer as well for we have prayed that

our child would be able to accept her OCD. By the 4th day of camp she was ready

to ask for help. Should note here there were also 6 other children boys and

girls in her group and one was one of her friends.

I have no idea if being around other children who have special needs helps

children face their own special needs or if this is just something that worked

for our child. I will say that moment when she asked for help was really huge.

I had wondered if that moment would ever come. I know she might go back to not

believing it is OCD again, but I am hoping to keep on this tack as long as she

will go for it.

I have thought about taking our child to help serve meals to others etc...as she

gets older at a shelter in Portland near where we live, where my husband and I

can be on both sides of her and she can see that the world is full of special

needs. After her experience at day camp, I have decided to put her in groups

with special needs kids more and more so she wants to work on her OCD. It is

working even though only two weeks ago. Also, should share she did not like

that she was in a group with them, I had not asked for that, it " just ened up

they were together " . Which gave me a lot of new ideas to keep her seeing her

own stuff and working on it. It is also good for the other families as I have a

passion and empathy for families with both autism and downs syndrome. So win/

win.

I also want to tell you that you and your wife are doing a great job!! Hard

work, you are so on target with that statement! Your feelings are all normal,

and I applaudedyou both, for all you are doing. I am hoping for a good day and

week ahead for your home.

Best wishes,

, Mom to 7 year old with OCD

Portland, Oregon.

Beginning The Process

My wife brought my son (who shows a lot of the symptoms associated with OCD)

to an OCD clinic last Monday. But he was close-lipped and did not want to talk