Beginning The Process

July 2, 2012

My wife brought my son (who shows a lot of the symptoms associated with OCD) to

an OCD clinic last Monday. But he was close-lipped and did not want to talk

about anything. I spoke at length with the therapist later in the week. She

stated that there cannot be any treatment until he accepts there is a problem

and is a willing participant. Her only advice was that things will continue to

get worse for him and everyone until we confront this. This would be nothing

less than an intervention where we provide him with an ultimatum. This would be

to participate in the treatment program or be checked into a psychiatric unit at

a hospital when his issues flare up. Typically, they don't want the hospital

alternative, but have to know that we are serious about this. Well, we did not

have to wait long until his next episode. We had a day of reprieve on Saturday

and then Sunday he started the day off argumentative and wouldn't back down when

my wife told him to go to his room. It was time!

I called the Psychiatric Hot Line which informed me that I had to call 911 and

request an officer trained in psychiatric emergencies. She then informed me that

unless he was perceived as dangerous to others or himself there is nothing they

would do. I called the non-emergency number for the police who confirmed this

but also thought that maybe having an officer show up would help. I cannot

explain all of the emotions I was experiencing at the time. How could this be

happening? Was I doing the right thing? Guilt, Anger, Shame, etc. This is tough

stuff!!!!

We did confront him and told him the options. To get checked into a pychiatric

hospital or see the Director at the local Anxiety and OCD clinic. I spoke with

him on Friday who basically reiterated the same thing that the therapist did,

that unless he was willing to participate, there was nothing that they could do.

He suggested that he meet with him if he was willing to do so. Our son

reluctantly agreed to meet with him yesterday following the confrontation, but

also understood that if this did not work that we would have to resort to the

hospital. Things started to calm down and now we await the meeting with the

Director. I can only hope that he opens to this.

I am totally second guessing myself and would greatly appreciate any words on

this. Thanks.

July 2, 2012

Hi , what are some of your son's behaviors with OCD? Is it more

rituals/compulsions or more " thoughts " or avoidance...? Demanding to other

family members (do this, don't do that...)?

There are so many ways OCD can show. Most of my son's behaviors weren't in any

book, but were OCD. Some of the " known " behaviors he had (that could relate to

others/books) were having to repeat things until it felt " right " , that could

include anything with switches (on/off) or just something he was doing (sitting

down could turn into " repeats " until it felt " right " when he sat). Also for

him, it was a feeling something bad would happen to him if he didn't do these

things. His OCD began in 6th grade, prior to that it was more " quirks " that I

knew were OCD type (erasing/rewriting, tracing over letters...), but nothing

like the 24/7 OCD that started in 6th grade.

We had our ups/downs over the years, many quiet times with OCD improved but

" there " . Presently he is 23 years old and has " bad thoughts " type OCD that

falls under " scrupulosity. "

So that's the very short version of our story.

We do what we have to do tho so hard to know sometimes what is " best. " Always

2nd guessing. I've been awarded the " Bad Mom " award more than once over the

years, with myself having a bad day due to OCD (fed up, snappy outburst at

son...).

You're in the midst of it in your household, so you know the severity of it.

When my son first went to a therapist in middle school, he was close-mouthed

too. But *I* had told him all about it. So from what I understand (I wasn't in

the room when they met), the therapist talked more based on what behaviors I had

told him and gave " OCD homework " to work on things. Oh would

say things were " fine " or he was " doing better. " Not true. But also

wanted to be able to say he HAD worked on things, so he did try. MOSTLY though,

it was *me* who decided on what to work on and we took it slowly, choosing 1 or

2 things to work on and just ignoring the rest (accommodating the OCD).

I remember one of the simpler ones we got by. He was always turning on/off the

bathroom light switch and I managed to be outside the door one day when he was

coming out, and told him to just try to do it " once. " Or delay the 2nd time

(wait as long as he could, etc.). He said he didn't HAVE to do it more than

once, and so I commented something like " show me " because he always does it. So

he didn't do it again, I think mostly just due to stubborness. But after that

(probably due to stubborness), he didn't repeat with that light switch. (Still

repeating on other switches though and faucets; he was NOT allowed to turn the

computer on/off)

I hope your son's wanting to avoid the hospital helps motivate him to work with

the local clinic Director. Even if he doesn't open up to talk, I think if you

can cover some of his behaviors and the Director just talks about OCD

(understanding OCD is important) and gives your son a task or 2 to start with,

it can work. Sort of like with " bad thoughts. " It's not always necessary to

know what the thoughts are but to direct them in ways to work on the thoughts

(tools to use to battle " thoughts " ).

Sorry to ramble on so long. But definitely interested to hear how things

progress with your son!

single mom, 3 sons

, 23, with OCD, dysgraphia, Aspergers

graduated Aug 2011 with BS in Biology

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> My wife brought my son (who shows a lot of the symptoms associated with OCD)

to an OCD clinic last Monday. But he was close-lipped and did not want to talk