some progress

[Guest guest]

I am writing to share a breakthrough since I joined this group just a few weeks

ago.

I had emailed previously about a family member who had taken our daughter almost

8 to the park and they played a game, that they would not step on any sidewalk

cracks or other cracks or they would become a Monster. I believe that email

went to and he forwarded on to the group.

After much prayer I found a time when my daughter would be in a listening mode

and asked her about the game. At first she got mad, then blaming and then just

listened, after I had asked her " honey what would happen if you stepped on a

crack, really? " She could see the pattern with other OCD rituals. I pointed

out with care that our cul-de-sac and even our garage have cracks and she rides

her bike there. **to my amazement her reply was the cracks in the cul-de-sac are

her obstacle course, she never rides on them, and she could tell me we only have

two cracks in the garage floor and exactly where they are.** I had no idea she

knew all this. I didn't know it myself.

So, I asked her if she would watch me walk on the cracks---long pause---- then

she yelled " I will do it first, not you! I know it is my OCD and nothing will

happen to me and I have to walk on the cracks to prove it to myself " . A part of

me as her Mother wanted to rejoice, while another part of me wanted to weep.

I am still searching for a good match in a therapist for her. At least we are

making progress at home while we search. This talk with her took close to an

hour. She can ride on the cracks and walk on them at least for now. I am

prepared for backsliding......

I also had a conversation with the family member who took her to the park a few

weeks ago. Who attempted to say he thought up the game not my daughter.

Regardless, of who thought it up I explained to him in love what she needs is to

step on the cracks and eventually not have the cracks be the object of any walk,

but to see beyond the cracks in the path at the park to birds and other beauty.

He was a bit stunned at first, then agreed. I did tell him he had it really

close he just needed to tweak his game with her a bit for her own good. He got

it. Especially after hearing about the obstacle course in our street.

I will also say my daughter was really mad at me, yelling " why don't you just

tell the whole world I have OCD " . So, I looked her in the eye and reminded her

last week she asked me to help her manage her OCD. That this is what managing

OCD looks like, and it is not suppose to be fun, it is hard, but not as hard as

not facing it. I told her for now since she is younger, she just looks like a

very active kid. However, jumping from square to square at the grocery store

will let people know about her OCD as she gets older if she does not learn to

manage it now. I also reassured her there is a cement foundation under the

grocery store floor. So, no cracks will open up on her. She seemed pleased by

that and had not considered how safe the floor was until that moment.

We also had a fairly large meltdown of emotional outbursts on Friday morning

that was high energy and hard to go through with her. She was " upset " because

she was trying to type a book. It was not working. The computer was not being

helpful and the words were not working the way she wanted. I am teaching 2nd

grade in the fall. I told her typing is for an older grade of school. That she

did well. No amount of praise was enough. Finally just shut the computer off

and gave her a pen and piece of paper. After about 2 hours she was back to her

usual self. That two hours was long and very hurtful to watch her go through.

She starts a swim class today at a new pool. So far is looking forward to it.

I am praying it goes well.

Often I feel on guard for what might set her off. The OCD is really tricky for

me. She can be fine one minute and the next I cannot reach her emotionally at

all.

, Mom to 7 year old daughter with OCD