Re: Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the right thing to do?

[Guest guest]

I would take her out immediately if it were my child.  They do not need pre-K

and there is not one thing in the program you cannot work on at home.  Four is

still very young -- she may have many things going on but in addition to the ocd

issues, she just may not be ready for school.  I am all for " tough love " and

routine, but I would not do it with a child this young and I would not care what

the school or a therapist told me.  Good luck and I'm sorry you are going

through this.

Kind Regards,

in WA

To:

Sent: Tuesday, April 10, 2012 1:05 PM

Subject: Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the right

thing to do?

 

My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public school and

she starts kindergarten in August.

Her program at school is 4 days a week.

For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school. When

I drop her off she screams for me and the teachers have to grab her to get her

inside. As I left after signing her in today I heard her blood curdling screams

for me. She gets sweaty, hyperventilates, etc

The teachers said she crys the whole time. I don't know if they are putting her

in the nurses station or how they are dealing with it.

I talked to the school psych when this first became an issue and he's like just

keep making her go to school. But the thing is, she's not a regular kid just

going through a phase.

But she is having full-blown panic attacks along with her OCD/Anxiety. I cannot

do this another day. Watch my child be taken away screaming. This can't be good

for her. I feel like this is going to severely damage her.

She needs HELP.

I feel like she needs treatment before she can go back to school.

I want to pull her out and put her in therapy 7 days a week if I have to.

So I feel I need to go against conventional wisdom that says keep making her go.

I just can't do it anymore My child is sick.

She has new things everyday. All this morning she was telling me her arm was

going to fall off, and that if she drank water her eyes would explode.

As I left her teacher just kept yelling at her to 'stop it'.. surely this isn't

good for her

If I pull her out do you think I am doing the right thing? There is only 5 more

weeks of school left.

[Guest guest]

This is her 2nd year in pre-k and she has done great for 2 years with no

problem. She is extremely bright and already reading 1st grade level books. She

LOVES her school. The OCD/Anxiety reared it's ugly head the Sunday before last

and ever since she's been a different kid.

I would of never believed this would ever happen 2 weeks ago.

I am so frustrated because wait lists for professional help are months away.

She's on a wait list for a nuerologist and a psychologist. I have no idea what

the heck to do in the meantime.

>

> I would take her out immediately if it were my child.  They do not need pre-K

and there is not one thing in the program you cannot work on at home.  Four is

still very young -- she may have many things going on but in addition to the ocd

issues, she just may not be ready for school.  I am all for " tough love " and

routine, but I would not do it with a child this young and I would not care what

the school or a therapist told me.  Good luck and I'm sorry you are going

through this.

> Kind Regards,

> in WA

>

>

> To:

> Sent: Tuesday, April 10, 2012 1:05 PM

> Subject: Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the right

thing to do?

>

>

>  

> My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public school

and she starts kindergarten in August.

> Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

When I drop her off she screams for me and the teachers have to grab her to get

her inside. As I left after signing her in today I heard her blood curdling

screams for me. She gets sweaty, hyperventilates, etc

> The teachers said she crys the whole time. I don't know if they are putting

her in the nurses station or how they are dealing with it.

> I talked to the school psych when this first became an issue and he's like

just keep making her go to school. But the thing is, she's not a regular kid

just going through a phase.

> But she is having full-blown panic attacks along with her OCD/Anxiety. I

cannot do this another day. Watch my child be taken away screaming. This can't

be good for her. I feel like this is going to severely damage her.

> She needs HELP.

> I feel like she needs treatment before she can go back to school.

> I want to pull her out and put her in therapy 7 days a week if I have to.

> So I feel I need to go against conventional wisdom that says keep making her

go. I just can't do it anymore My child is sick.

>

> She has new things everyday. All this morning she was telling me her arm was

going to fall off, and that if she drank water her eyes would explode.

>

> As I left her teacher just kept yelling at her to 'stop it'.. surely this

isn't good for her

> If I pull her out do you think I am doing the right thing? There is only 5

more weeks of school left.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

She is very young.  Do you think it could be PANDAS related -- has he been sick

or especially had strep or been exposed to strep recently?

To:

Sent: Tuesday, April 10, 2012 2:00 PM

Subject: Re: Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the right

thing to do?

 

This is her 2nd year in pre-k and she has done great for 2 years with no

problem. She is extremely bright and already reading 1st grade level books. She

LOVES her school. The OCD/Anxiety reared it's ugly head the Sunday before last

and ever since she's been a different kid.

I would of never believed this would ever happen 2 weeks ago.

I am so frustrated because wait lists for professional help are months away.

She's on a wait list for a nuerologist and a psychologist. I have no idea what

the heck to do in the meantime.

>

> I would take her out immediately if it were my child.  They do not need

pre-K and there is not one thing in the program you cannot work on at home. 

Four is still very young -- she may have many things going on but in addition to

the ocd issues, she just may not be ready for school.  I am all for " tough

love " and routine, but I would not do it with a child this young and I would not

care what the school or a therapist told me.  Good luck and I'm sorry you are

going through this.

> Kind Regards,

> in WA

>

>

> To:

> Sent: Tuesday, April 10, 2012 1:05 PM

> Subject: Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the right

thing to do?

>

>

>  

> My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public school

and she starts kindergarten in August.

> Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

When I drop her off she screams for me and the teachers have to grab her to get

her inside. As I left after signing her in today I heard her blood curdling

screams for me. She gets sweaty, hyperventilates, etc

> The teachers said she crys the whole time. I don't know if they are putting

her in the nurses station or how they are dealing with it.

> I talked to the school psych when this first became an issue and he's like

just keep making her go to school. But the thing is, she's not a regular kid

just going through a phase.

> But she is having full-blown panic attacks along with her OCD/Anxiety. I

cannot do this another day. Watch my child be taken away screaming. This can't

be good for her. I feel like this is going to severely damage her.

> She needs HELP.

> I feel like she needs treatment before she can go back to school.

> I want to pull her out and put her in therapy 7 days a week if I have to.

> So I feel I need to go against conventional wisdom that says keep making her

go. I just can't do it anymore My child is sick.

>

> She has new things everyday. All this morning she was telling me her arm was

going to fall off, and that if she drank water her eyes would explode.

>

> As I left her teacher just kept yelling at her to 'stop it'.. surely this

isn't good for her

> If I pull her out do you think I am doing the right thing? There is only 5

more weeks of school left.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

She was dx with OCD when she was 3 and we never looked into PANDAS until this

episode. She has never had strep that I am aware of and her ped wasn't

interested in doing any bloodwork to test titers. She put her on 10 days on

antibiotics and she is on day 7 with no improvement.

She has no sign of a rash or any sickness, not even the sniffles. Her strep test

was negative.

I found a nuerologist who treats PANDAS kids but that appt isn't until May 24th.

I have no idea if it's PANDAS or not.

> >

> > I would take her out immediately if it were my child.  They do not need

pre-K and there is not one thing in the program you cannot work on at home. 

Four is still very young -- she may have many things going on but in addition to

the ocd issues, she just may not be ready for school.  I am all for " tough

love " and routine, but I would not do it with a child this young and I would not

care what the school or a therapist told me.  Good luck and I'm sorry you are

going through this.

> > Kind Regards,

> > in WA

> >

> > From: HiHiHi <jennifercurnow@>

> > To:

> > Sent: Tuesday, April 10, 2012 1:05 PM

> > Subject: Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the right

thing to do?

> >

> >

> >  

> > My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public school

and she starts kindergarten in August.

> > Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> > For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

When I drop her off she screams for me and the teachers have to grab her to get

her inside. As I left after signing her in today I heard her blood curdling

screams for me. She gets sweaty, hyperventilates, etc

> > The teachers said she crys the whole time. I don't know if they are putting

her in the nurses station or how they are dealing with it.

> > I talked to the school psych when this first became an issue and he's like

just keep making her go to school. But the thing is, she's not a regular kid

just going through a phase.

> > But she is having full-blown panic attacks along with her OCD/Anxiety. I

cannot do this another day. Watch my child be taken away screaming. This can't

be good for her. I feel like this is going to severely damage her.

> > She needs HELP.

> > I feel like she needs treatment before she can go back to school.

> > I want to pull her out and put her in therapy 7 days a week if I have to.

> > So I feel I need to go against conventional wisdom that says keep making her

go. I just can't do it anymore My child is sick.

> >

> > She has new things everyday. All this morning she was telling me her arm was

going to fall off, and that if she drank water her eyes would explode.

> >

> > As I left her teacher just kept yelling at her to 'stop it'.. surely this

isn't good for her

> > If I pull her out do you think I am doing the right thing? There is only 5

more weeks of school left.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Since you said this is her 2nd year and she's been fine up until 2 weeks ago -

I'd also check into PANDAS. Which antibiotic did he put her on?

If she's crying the entire time (you know, some kids cry a little then are fine

rest of day), I don't see why she needs to stay if you can pull her out at this

age. BUT - wondering, can you volunteer there to help out in the room? (don't

know if you work during day)

I used to help out with my kids school at one time when I wasn't working or was

in school and had some hours free. That'd also give you some idea if there was

" anything " going on in the classroom that might be bothering her. OR you could

perhaps have her go for just half the day, or a couple hours with the promise to

pick her up...get school to work with you on reduced hours; maybe that would

ease her anxiety some, knowing it wouldn't be " all " day. But, at least here,

kindergarten isn't mandatory, so I don't see a problem if you feel the need to

take her out now.

Is she real clingy at home now all the time?

I assume she has all the same " thoughts " at home/weekends too, not just that

it's going to happen if she goes to school?

Her arm fall off, her eyes explode - she's got all kinds of stuff popping up!

>

> She was dx with OCD when she was 3 and we never looked into PANDAS until this

episode. She has never had strep that I am aware of and her ped wasn't

interested in doing any bloodwork to test titers. She put her on 10 days on

antibiotics and she is on day 7 with no improvement.

> She has no sign of a rash or any sickness, not even the sniffles. Her strep

test was negative.

>

> I found a nuerologist who treats PANDAS kids but that appt isn't until May

24th.

>

[Guest guest]

You can look at from both angels.\

My son (6, 1st grade) started to have severe anxiety about going to school

when his OCD started up. I kept him in school and got therapy. Once he

got a handle on the OCD, his anxiety went away and he can go to school

without a problem. It was very hard to watch him getting pulled off me,

heart breaking.. I know. His therapist that we have now, who I love, said I

did the right thing by keeping him in. The whole point was to NOT let OCD

win. He had to give himself a prep talk before school, he had to tell his

OCD monster to back off..that eventually went away and now he doesn't have

any anxiety about going to school. We still perform the ritual of me

walking him to the doors. He won't just get out of the car and walk in

himself, but as long as he isn't freaking out I will take it. At some point

we will have to work on the this ritual but just taking one day at a time.

He is doing so well with the OCD I don't want to rock the boat.. and

really who is he hurting if I am just walking him to the door....

The other side of me wanted to pull him and home school. I felt the same

way, no child should feel that type of anxiety. I was afraid he was going

to have a heart attack or something. My gut told me to pull him but I stuck

it out and once his OCD was under control, everything else got better. I

explained it to him after the fact, why he had to go. That every time he

went, he was beating his OCD. That seemed to make him feel better and

eased my guilt.

Good luck. I wish I had an answer. Talk to a therapist who specializes in

OCD if you haven't already and see what they have to say.

On Tue, Apr 10, 2012 at 4:05 PM, HiHiHi wrote:

> **

>

>

> My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public

> school and she starts kindergarten in August.

> Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

> When I drop her off she screams for me and the teachers have to grab her to

> get her inside. As I left after signing her in today I heard her blood

> curdling screams for me. She gets sweaty, hyperventilates, etc

> The teachers said she crys the whole time. I don't know if they are

> putting her in the nurses station or how they are dealing with it.

> I talked to the school psych when this first became an issue and he's like

> just keep making her go to school. But the thing is, she's not a regular

> kid just going through a phase.

> But she is having full-blown panic attacks along with her OCD/Anxiety. I

> cannot do this another day. Watch my child be taken away screaming. This

> can't be good for her. I feel like this is going to severely damage her.

> She needs HELP.

> I feel like she needs treatment before she can go back to school.

> I want to pull her out and put her in therapy 7 days a week if I have to.

> So I feel I need to go against conventional wisdom that says keep making

> her go. I just can't do it anymore My child is sick.

>

> She has new things everyday. All this morning she was telling me her arm

> was going to fall off, and that if she drank water her eyes would explode.

>

> As I left her teacher just kept yelling at her to 'stop it'.. surely this

> isn't good for her

> If I pull her out do you think I am doing the right thing? There is only 5

> more weeks of school left.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Je cnnifer, I work in public schools as a physical therapist. I see kids 3

to 21 yrs. In the Early Childhood program, we have 3 to 6 yr. olds. When

kids start there, usually several are timid or having a hard time

separating. BUT this does not usually go on for long, maybe some tears

after a few weeks but then they settle in after they start playing. The

child learns the routine and feels comfortable with the staff. If this has

gone on so long, this should not be treated like a typical child who needs

to learn to adjust. My son was in second grade when his sep.anxiety kicked

in big time, same thing with the crying, thinking I was going to die while

he was in school. These kids have quite the imagination so your daughter

prob. has all sorts of scenarios going through her head. We tried

everything and teacher tried too. Eventually, we put him on meds. and that

got him through the end of the year. Anotherr friend had this with a young

daughter. She tried neurofeedback and that worked for her. She also had her

in a small Montesoori school which called her if they thought she needed to

come. If I was to do it over with my son, I would have had him in a smaller

school. Has she made any friends there that she could have in her kind.

class next year, maybe have over in the summer.

I would be going to the kind. teachers and if possible, sit in a class to

get a feel for the teacher and how they run the class. You can see which

teacher is a good match for your child. We also didn't get much help from

the psychologist at the school. The teacher really has to be connected to

you and your daughter and take the anxiety seriously. My son's second

grade teacher had a daughter with anxiety and his third grade teacher had

anxiety himself. That made a huge difference. Transition times always seem

bad for my son (spring, fall). His OCD is really spiking again now. Hope

this helps.

in WI

Roy-17 OCD/Anxiety/Depression, ADD Prozac, Busbar, Adderall XR

On Tue, Apr 10, 2012 at 3:05 PM, HiHiHi wrote:

> **

>

>

> My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public

> school and she starts kindergarten in August.

> Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

> When I drop her off she screams for me and the teachers have to grab her to

> get her inside. As I left after signing her in today I heard her blood

> curdling screams for me. She gets sweaty, hyperventilates, etc

> The teachers said she crys the whole time. I don't know if they are

> putting her in the nurses station or how they are dealing with it.

> I talked to the school psych when this first became an issue and he's like

> just keep making her go to school. But the thing is, she's not a regular

> kid just going through a phase.

> But she is having full-blown panic attacks along with her OCD/Anxiety. I

> cannot do this another day. Watch my child be taken away screaming. This

> can't be good for her. I feel like this is going to severely damage her.

> She needs HELP.

> I feel like she needs treatment before she can go back to school.

> I want to pull her out and put her in therapy 7 days a week if I have to.

> So I feel I need to go against conventional wisdom that says keep making

> her go. I just can't do it anymore My child is sick.

>

> She has new things everyday. All this morning she was telling me her arm

> was going to fall off, and that if she drank water her eyes would explode.

>

> As I left her teacher just kept yelling at her to 'stop it'.. surely this

> isn't good for her

> If I pull her out do you think I am doing the right thing? There is only 5

> more weeks of school left.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, if this just popped up with no sign before of fears and anxiety, I would

definitely get a strep test done immediately by her pediatrician while you are

waiting for the specialists. If she doesn't have a strep test, I would still

have the strep titer tests done by the pediatrician that are done to check out

PANDAS. I also wouldn't send her back at this point while she is so absolutely

terrified by anxiety and she is young enough that school isn't mandatory. You

could just tell her that school ends this week, and she wouldn't really have to

know any better. I am not a believer in practicing avoidance, particularly with

school anxiety, but at her age, I don't see anything wrong with giving her a

break from a source of intense fear until you can start treatment and take the

time to look into PANDAS, if it applies.

Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the right

thing to do?

>

>

> Â

> My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public school

and she starts kindergarten in August.

> Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

When I drop her off she screams for me and the teachers have to grab her to get

her inside. As I left after signing her in today I heard her blood curdling

screams for me. She gets sweaty, hyperventilates, etc

> The teachers said she crys the whole time. I don't know if they are putting

her in the nurses station or how they are dealing with it.

> I talked to the school psych when this first became an issue and he's like

just keep making her go to school. But the thing is, she's not a regular kid

just going through a phase.

> But she is having full-blown panic attacks along with her OCD/Anxiety. I

cannot do this another day. Watch my child be taken away screaming. This can't

be good for her. I feel like this is going to severely damage her.

> She needs HELP.

> I feel like she needs treatment before she can go back to school.

> I want to pull her out and put her in therapy 7 days a week if I have to.

> So I feel I need to go against conventional wisdom that says keep making her

go. I just can't do it anymore My child is sick.

>

> She has new things everyday. All this morning she was telling me her arm was

going to fall off, and that if she drank water her eyes would explode.

>

> As I left her teacher just kept yelling at her to 'stop it'.. surely this

isn't good for her

> If I pull her out do you think I am doing the right thing? There is only 5

more weeks of school left.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have dealt with severe OCD all of my life, although I do have a satisfying,

full life, so it was quite clear to me from a very, very early age that my

daughter had inherited it. I remember at your daughter's age, my daughter would

hide in her school cubby when she was fearful about something. Certain books

would scare her and she knew that if she allowed herself to hear them or look at

them, she wouldn't get them out of her mind, and she would cry to avoid having

to do so. I actually remember her hitting one of her preschool teachers with

her little girl purse to avoid doing this. In K, she would cry for the same

reasons and the teacher would allow her to stay in the loft of the classroom or

in the hall when such stories were read. I sought help, but I was hesitant to

assume it was OCD, and the therapist treated it more like just plain old

fashioned fears. This snowballed until she was in 2nd grade, where she was

getting so fearful and it was so clear that she had both compulsive hair pulling

and OCD, that she went on an SSRI for it. The med that has made the big

difference was Anafranil which she finally switched to in 4th grade and she has

been on ever since. It is the same med that works best for me. Like your

daughter, my daughter was incredibly advanced and to this day doesn't fit in

with lots of the kids because of her intelligence.

Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the right

thing to do?

> >

> >

> > ÂÂ

> > My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public school

and she starts kindergarten in August.

> > Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> > For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

When I drop her off she screams for me and the teachers have to grab her to get

her inside. As I left after signing her in today I heard her blood curdling

screams for me. She gets sweaty, hyperventilates, etc

> > The teachers said she crys the whole time. I don't know if they are putting

her in the nurses station or how they are dealing with it.

> > I talked to the school psych when this first became an issue and he's like

just keep making her go to school. But the thing is, she's not a regular kid

just going through a phase.

> > But she is having full-blown panic attacks along with her OCD/Anxiety. I

cannot do this another day. Watch my child be taken away screaming. This can't

be good for her. I feel like this is going to severely damage her.

> > She needs HELP.

> > I feel like she needs treatment before she can go back to school.

> > I want to pull her out and put her in therapy 7 days a week if I have to.

> > So I feel I need to go against conventional wisdom that says keep making her

go. I just can't do it anymore My child is sick.

> >

> > She has new things everyday. All this morning she was telling me her arm was

going to fall off, and that if she drank water her eyes would explode.

> >

> > As I left her teacher just kept yelling at her to 'stop it'.. surely this

isn't good for her

> > If I pull her out do you think I am doing the right thing? There is only 5

more weeks of school left.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I don't know what the " right " thing to do is, but I do agree with what others

have said - that OCD should not win. If you don't have the book " Up & Down the

Worry Hill " by Aureen Wagner, it could be very helpful to you. The book helped

my daughter & I and got her to think about OCD as a " thing " she could better

understand.

Perhaps reading the book to your child, coupled with you accompanying your child

to class & gradually leaving the class for increasing periods of time would

help. Sort of an exposure for your child to help increase the child's ability to

be in class & away from you for longer periods of time.

For us, after having dealt with OCD for longer than I ever dreamed possible,

handling OCD fears sooner rather than later is much easier. When we let them

go, they continue to get worse & it's much harder to deal with them. Do what

you need to, but in the long run, it might be helpful to try and work on this

with the child in school when it doesn't matter, rather than later in K when it

will matter. Perhaps you can work with the school & go fewer days per week or

fewer hrs. per day for awhile as you work on it.

I completely understand and sympathize with your difficulties finding a dr.

who's available in a timely way. We had to wait several months to see a dr.,

after having to hunt the earth to even find an OCD dr. in our area who dealt

with children.

I wish you & your child the best. It will get better!

Dot

>

> My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public school

and she starts kindergarten in August.

> Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

[Guest guest]

We have all the good OCD books. I bought them last year when we went through

this. She is still a little young to grasp Mr. Worry. We play a game and squash

Mr. Worry and I tell her stories about a little girl just like her and the Mr.

Worry bug. But it doesn't help her when she's at her worst. There is nothing you

can say or do to " talk sense " into her.

Right now our whole day is consumed by her fears. I try distractions and

everything but she is just at her worst right now.

I picked her up from school today again. She just screams the whole time. She

thinks her finger nails are going to fall off or her skin is going to come off.

It's all consuming for her. The first sentence when she woke up this morning was

" Mommy I think my eyelashes are going to come out " and then she cries/screams

for an hour and I can't calm her down. She is like this at school. All the

worries comes into her head all day long and she panics.

I can't imagine how distracting it is for all the other Children to have a child

screaming for the entire duration of class.

I am seriously going to consider homeschooling her.

I know our options therapy + medication. Her psychiatrist recommended Zoloft

when she was 3. But it seems no one knows what the long term effects are. She

can't even take cold medicine because she is too young. How do I know if Zoloft

is safe for her at 4???? I am battling with it. One minute I am against it and

the next minute I might consider it. If she was older I probably wouldn't be so

hesitant.

I got her an appointment with a licensed social worker she saw last year at the

end of next week.

The wait for a psychologist at Phoenix Childrens Hospital is so long the

scheduler advised I call around elsewhere.

I did order some inositol to try. I am so lost and confused. I can't believe the

wait times to see professionals.

I wonder if I just took her to the emergency room at Phoenix Childrens Hospital

if she would get seen sooner. But even then they would probably just offer

medication.

What does everyone think about putting a 4 year old on medication?? How do I

know if it's safe?

> >

> > My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public school

and she starts kindergarten in August.

> > Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> > For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

>

[Guest guest]

Can you do some ERP when she is calmed down? Such as, " Honey, let's sit here

together and imagine that your skin is falling off. " Is that the right ERP?

Maybe you have to tape a script that describes in detail her skin falling off -

or take it in tiny steps with each script. Then you sit with her at each level

of the script and let her experience that she can handle the anxiety - she can

beat the fear. the point is play it enough to let her get bored with it.

I think it's who has a son who had lots of intrusive thoughts and they did

scripts I think.

Rhonda

Re: Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the

right thing to do?

We have all the good OCD books. I bought them last year when we went through

this. She is still a little young to grasp Mr. Worry. We play a game and squash

Mr. Worry and I tell her stories about a little girl just like her and the Mr.

Worry bug. But it doesn't help her when she's at her worst. There is nothing you

can say or do to " talk sense " into her.

Right now our whole day is consumed by her fears. I try distractions and

everything but she is just at her worst right now.

I picked her up from school today again. She just screams the whole time. She

thinks her finger nails are going to fall off or her skin is going to come off.

It's all consuming for her. The first sentence when she woke up this morning was

" Mommy I think my eyelashes are going to come out " and then she cries/screams

for an hour and I can't calm her down. She is like this at school. All the

worries comes into her head all day long and she panics.

I can't imagine how distracting it is for all the other Children to have a

child screaming for the entire duration of class.

I am seriously going to consider homeschooling her.

I know our options therapy + medication. Her psychiatrist recommended Zoloft

when she was 3. But it seems no one knows what the long term effects are. She

can't even take cold medicine because she is too young. How do I know if Zoloft

is safe for her at 4???? I am battling with it. One minute I am against it and

the next minute I might consider it. If she was older I probably wouldn't be so

hesitant.

I got her an appointment with a licensed social worker she saw last year at

the end of next week.

The wait for a psychologist at Phoenix Childrens Hospital is so long the

scheduler advised I call around elsewhere.

I did order some inositol to try. I am so lost and confused. I can't believe

the wait times to see professionals.

I wonder if I just took her to the emergency room at Phoenix Childrens

Hospital if she would get seen sooner. But even then they would probably just

offer medication.

What does everyone think about putting a 4 year old on medication?? How do I

know if it's safe?

> >

> > My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public

school and she starts kindergarten in August.

> > Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> > For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school.

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the suggestion. I am going to research how to do this ERP right

now.

I have tears rolling down as I type this. I feel so helpless. I keep calling all

the people listed in Phoenix under the OCD Foundation website. So far none I

have called take insurance or credit cards.

I am a 26 year old full-time college student and SAHM. I don't work. My husband

works 7 days a week to make ends meet.

All of these psychologists want $195 a session and they want my husband to be

there. It's a catch 22. If he misses work then how the heck can we afford it? I

can't afford to pay $195 a week for therapy anyway.

I'd be willing to put it on a credit card but they don't accept them.

I found one psychologist that takes our insurance but she is not accepting any

new patients!!!

I spend hours on the phone and turn up empty handed. This is the most

frustrating thing I've ever experienced.

> > >

> > > My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public

school and she starts kindergarten in August.

> > > Her program at school is 4 days a week.

> > > For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to

school.

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean - it's like there just aren't enough fire departments

around for how fast the OCD widlfire seems to be spreading. Although most of the

books say you must work with a therapist to do ERP, there are several ladies on

this board who have done it themselves and are great examples if you cannot find

a therapist. If you have patience to comb back through the archives, do a search

on ERP - there are some wonderful posts that describe exactly how it's done.

It's great you already have the foundation of Worry Bug going! Best wishes!

Rhonda

Re: Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the

right thing to do?

Thank you for the suggestion. I am going to research how to do this ERP right

now.

I have tears rolling down as I type this. I feel so helpless. I keep calling

all the people listed in Phoenix under the OCD Foundation website. So far none I

have called take insurance or credit cards.

I am a 26 year old full-time college student and SAHM. I don't work. My

husband works 7 days a week to make ends meet.

All of these psychologists want $195 a session and they want my husband to be

there. It's a catch 22. If he misses work then how the heck can we afford it? I

can't afford to pay $195 a week for therapy anyway.

I'd be willing to put it on a credit card but they don't accept them.

I found one psychologist that takes our insurance but she is not accepting any

new patients!!!

I spend hours on the phone and turn up empty handed. This is the most

frustrating thing I've ever experienced.

--- In

[Guest guest]

When I read your post, I thought about how difficult it is for us as parents to

navigate both the daily symptoms exhibited by our children AND the health

systems that we need to access for support. There are many days when it is

absolutely exhausting and overwhelming. Please know that we understand what this

is like, and we are sending good thoughts (and ideas that occur to us) your way.

I've had a few stray thoughts come my way, so I'll pass them along.

Initially, we worked with a psychologist through the Employee Assistance Program

that my husband has access to through his work. Does your husband have access

to any kind of program like that?

Would any of the psychologists who said that your husband has to be there be

open to seeing you after his work hours or during his lunch hour?

I also did an internet search, and found a wide ranging list of support groups

that might be helpful in the Phoenix area. Call up the ones that have to do

with anxiety/mental health and ask if they have any suggestions for you.

Sometimes the people who are in your area know of resources that aren't

necessarily listed in the phone book or on the internet. Here is the link:

http://www.findingstone.com/services/azsupportgroups.htm

In terms of approaching medication, our son is highly sensitive to various

substances (he gets allergy shiners from Tylenol!!), so I have been trying

various alternative approaches. I use Inositol, and it has been helpful to him.

We also make sure that he is getting a good multivitamin in general to support

his system overall. I use Rescue Remedy in both the drop and cream variety. It

doesn't make the OCD go away, but it does calm him down a bit. Perhaps this is

something you could try with your daughter?

Are there specific times when you see your daughter's anxiety go down? (when she

is playing with certain toys/when you are reading a book to her/when certain

shows are on T.V.) I know that it has been helpful for us to note what brings

our son's anxiety down. Distractions are one of the coping tools we have ended

up using as parents. For example, when our son is caught in a ritual action

when it is time for dinner, we have been known to start playing a funny clip

from YouTube to attract him to the table. He loves things that make him laugh,

and this way, he is the one breaking the ritual instead of us becoming more and

more frustrated as we try to force him to come.

Hope that one or more of these might be helpful to you! Be sure to take care of

yourself in the midst of all of this.

Keri

>

> Thank you for the suggestion. I am going to research how to do this ERP right

now.

> I have tears rolling down as I type this. I feel so helpless. I keep calling

all the people listed in Phoenix under the OCD Foundation website. So far none I

have called take

[Guest guest]

Hi, so sorry to hear that you are going through this tough time.  I, too, had

to face this decision with my ten year old son.  By  Jan of this year, his

anxiety over school had gotten so bad that he refused to go to school.  When

you say that to people they don't understand and are judgemental.  (he's just a

brat or undisciplined, etc).  Because he is ten, he was able to tell me more

what his stressors were and why it was just impossible for him to cope.  His

anxiety over school affected every aspect of his life, not just school.  He is

at home now with a homebound teacher that comes twice per week and he is doing

the same work that his classmates are doing.  You are right to say that your

daughter is not just a regular kid going through a phase.  I agree with you

that she needs help before she can go back to school.  Take care of your child,

follow your instincts, and don't worry about what anyone thinks.  You know what

is best for your

little girl. 

________________________________

To:

Sent: Tuesday, April 10, 2012 3:05 PM

Subject: Help!! Is forcing child to go to school the right

thing to do?

 

My daughter is 4.5 years old. She is in a pre-k program at the public school and

she starts kindergarten in August.

Her program at school is 4 days a week.

For the last week she has been screaming for me not to take her to school. When

I drop her off she screams for me and the teachers have to grab her to get her

inside. As I left after signing her in today I heard her blood curdling screams

for me. She gets sweaty, hyperventilates, etc

The teachers said she crys the whole time. I don't know if they are putting her

in the nurses station or how they are dealing with it.

I talked to the school psych when this first became an issue and he's like just

keep making her go to school. But the thing is, she's not a regular kid just

going through a phase.

But she is having full-blown panic attacks along with her OCD/Anxiety. I cannot

do this another day. Watch my child be taken away screaming. This can't be good

for her. I feel like this is going to severely damage her.

She needs HELP.

I feel like she needs treatment before she can go back to school.

I want to pull her out and put her in therapy 7 days a week if I have to.

So I feel I need to go against conventional wisdom that says keep making her go.

I just can't do it anymore My child is sick.

She has new things everyday. All this morning she was telling me her arm was

going to fall off, and that if she drank water her eyes would explode.

As I left her teacher just kept yelling at her to 'stop it'.. surely this isn't

good for her

If I pull her out do you think I am doing the right thing? There is only 5 more

weeks of school left.

[Guest guest]

Hello,

So sorry that you are going through all this - it's not fair to have to deal

with OCD and not find the help you need.

I agree that one of the best things you can do is to gather as much information

about OCD as you can. I found that as soon as I started reading and thinking

more actively about my son's OCD, the more confident I got about handling it. I

sure that within a short time, you can become an OCD expert and will find many

ways to help your kiddo.

Best,

Joni

> Thank you for the suggestion. I am going to research how to do this ERP

right now.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

It sure sounds like your little girl isn't getting much out of school and I

wonder if it might be better not to worry so much about it any more. I could be

very wrong about this, but I think that trying to go to school at this point

could be getting in the way of helping the OCD. I think you were very right to

try school and it looks like you have given it a great effort, but maybe now is

the right time for her.

I do agree with the others who suggest fewer school days or for you to spend

some time with her at school - you could try that, but wouldn't worry too much

if it didn't work out.

I wonder if you would have more energy to think about your kiddo's OCD if you

weren't worrying so much about school and how hard it is to get her there.

Also, I don't think that skipping preschool would really have any negative

impact on your daughter - many kids go to kindergarten without having gone to

preschool. At this age, they are so quick to pick up on things they need for

school. And, even if she needs to delay her kindergarten, I also think that's

OK. In the long run, it doesn't matter when our kids get to school, just as

long as they get there sometime.

I wish I could give you some ideas on how to approach your kiddo's OCD. I

understand that her OCD focuses on her body and what could go wrong with it. I

bet that there is some small ERP-like activities you could try. I wonder if it

might be useful for you to sit down and list all the ways that OCD has shown up

in her daughter the last few weeks and see what falls out from that. I found

that writing things out often helps me. If nothing else, it makes me focus on

what is causing me trouble and helps me think through some solutions.

I would also like let you know that I practiced pediatrics for about 10 years

before my son's OCD got in the way (long story) and I stepped way from it to

help him. As a doc, I would hesitate to put someone as young as your kiddo on a

med like Zoloft unless there wasn't any choice. I would and have done it but

only after I tried other interventions. In your case, I wonder if trying some

ERP and or decreasing stress in any way you can might be a better place to

start. I do think you have some time before you have to make this particular

decision. Also, if you do decide to try meds, keep in mind that it doesn't mean

that your child will always have to take them. Many kids who take meds for OCD

come off of them in time - mine son did.

Hope this helps some.

Best,

Joni

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for your advise, it means SO much to be right now. I let my 4

year old DD take 2 days off of school this week. It does not feel right putting

her through this unnessary stress going to pre-k. On school days she would spend

2-3 hours before school crying about having to go to school, then she cries the

whole duration at school.. (how can she learn or participate when she is

screaming?) and then after school she is so stressed out from the whole ordeal

it triggers more intrusive thoughts. It's this never ending cycle.

On her 2 days off she was more relaxed and we dealt with her thoughts in a safe

comforting environment as they came. It felt like a huge burden was lifted off

my shoulders. She was happier and so was I. I think it's the right thing to do.

I think when she gets treatment she will want to go back to school, and that's

fine. I just don't feel right sending her when she's had no proffesional help

yet. If I can get her into therapy all summer, maybe she will be prepared to go

to Kindergarten.

>

> Hi, so sorry to hear that you are going through this tough time.  I, too, had

to face this decision with my ten year old son.  By  Jan of this year, his

anxiety over school had gotten so bad that he refused to go to school.  When

you say that to people they don't understand and are judgemental.  (he's just a

brat or undisciplined, etc).  Because he is ten, he was able to tell me more

what his stressors were and why it was just impossible for him to cope.  His

anxiety over school affected every aspect of his life, not just school.  He is

at home now with a homebound teacher that comes twice per week and he is doing

the same work that his classmates are doing.  You are right to say that your

daughter is not just a regular kid going through a phase.  I agree with you

that she needs help before she can go back to school.  Take care of your child,

follow your instincts, and don't worry about what anyone thinks.  You know what

is best for your

> little girl. 

>

>