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Re: At a loss for words

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My 17 yr. old son says he feels the best about himself when he fixes something

or creates/makes things.. He needs to be in control-dream up the project, make

the project, handy man. Most of these anxiety kids are pretty black/white. He

misses a shot, he is a loser and the worst player. Once they have gone down the

road, it is hard to turn it around. Some kids at work with more autistic-like

behaviors say they can't do it while they are doing the activity. Almost like

they are stuck on a thought but if we keep doing it, they move through the

thought.

> >

> > My son cannot take in the worda of encouragement and positive feedback that

he receives ALWAYS from myself and his siblings. What is instilled in him will

always be and I have run out things to say. I can't fix it nor can I make him

beleive in himself if he doesn't. I know I do the best I can but knowing I can't

make it better hurts as a parent. I'm not speaking of any one subject. This is a

generalization of everything over the years that I have gone through with my

son. Latest upset for him is Hockey. He told me he feels broken and has shed

some tears. To many things going on within the league that he can't deal with.

Got to go but will continue this at a later time.

> > Happy Holidays to All

> > Pam L.

> >

>

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I agree with having him create things and help you with things to provide a

sense of accomplishment. Make sure the tasks are things he can already do well.

My son helps me in the kitchen and by taking things from the car, ect...I always

tell him how much I appreciate the help he gave me and that his help allowed me

to get other things done, ect... Don't offer encouragement only when he is

saying something negative. When he does say something negative about himself, I

think it's important to challenge those ideas. If, for example, he misses a

basketball shot, point out that even professional players miss shots, ect...

Another thing to question is whether or not he is clinically depressed and is it

so bad that he requires treatment.

Bonnie

In , " kscope57 " wrote:

>

> My 17 yr. old son says he feels the best about himself when he fixes

something or creates/makes things.. He needs to be in control-dream up the

project, make the project, handy man. Most of these anxiety kids are pretty

black/white. He misses a shot, he is a loser and the worst player. Once they

have gone down the road, it is hard to turn it around. Some kids at work with

more autistic-like behaviors say they can't do it while they are doing the

activity. Almost like they are stuck on a thought but if we keep doing it, they

move through the thought.

>

>

> > >

> > > My son cannot take in the worda of encouragement and positive feedback

that he receives ALWAYS from myself and his siblings. What is instilled in him

will always be and I have run out things to say. I can't fix it nor can I make

him beleive in himself if he doesn't. I know I do the best I can but knowing I

can't make it better hurts as a parent. I'm not speaking of any one subject.

This is a generalization of everything over the years that I have gone through

with my son. Latest upset for him is Hockey. He told me he feels broken and has

shed some tears. To many things going on within the league that he can't deal

with. Got to go but will continue this at a later time.

> > > Happy Holidays to All

> > > Pam L.

> > >

> >

>

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