Re: OCD Uncertainty, Adolescence and Career planning. Advice Wanted.

[Guest guest]

Todd, this sounds like a great idea. My 17 yr. old son also has similar issue

re: future,etc. Working with his hands is about the only time he does not have

anxiety. When it was the worst, he used to take bikes apart. We have ALOT of

bike parts and sawed off bike frames on our property. Also, 2 unfixed lawn

mowers from when he was in small engines. Spent more time on cleaning the engine

than fixing it. Luckily, we live in the country. Also The only thing for my son

is that he is such a perfectionist, he would have to check the pace of the

class. Don't know how your son approaches his bike hobby.

>

> My 16 year-old son suffers from OCD. He is managing it fairly well most of

the time.

>

> I have read here and elsewhere that uncertainty is a big part of OCD.

>

> He worries increasingly about his future career and how he will support

himself. He does not want to be a burden on us or his sister. We try to

comfort him - adolescence is a time of uncertainty for most teens. He wants to

go to college and is smart enough to do well there - if motivated.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son, now 18, also worries a lot about his future and many times has mentioned

to me how he wishes he knew what he wanted to do. Like you, I tell him that this

is a normal (and not only an OCD) thing and that many others his age also don't

have a clue. I also tell him that as long he continues trying he will find his

way - just take it all day by day.

I think I also use his doubts about the future as a type of exposure for him (as

in a minor form of ERP). I tell him that because of his OCD he will always be

uncomfortable with doubt and that he should take every opportunity to learn to

deal with it. OF course, this doesn't always go over very well.

My son is also interested in biology and is majoring in it in college. There is

a lot your son could do with a degree in this field.

I would definitely encourage your son to be involved in any activity he finds

enjoyable - a good way to build confidence and feel good about his place in the

world.

Best,

Joni

>

> My 16 year-old son suffers from OCD. He is managing it fairly well most of

the time.

>

> I have read here and elsewhere that uncertainty is a big part of OCD.

>

> He worries increasingly about his future career and how he will support

himself. He does not want to be a burden on us or his sister. We try to

comfort him - adolescence is a time of uncertainty for most teens. He wants to

go to college and is smart enough to do well there - if motivated.

>

> It seems like his uncertainty might be reduced by choosing a career path

sooner than later. He has expressed an interested in studying Biology and Scuba

Diving. He will not talk about career paths (ie Marine Biologist) that might

result from studying those subjects.

>

> For a while he was very interested in bicycles and looked into bicycle

mechanic schools. Some classes last a few weeks. It seems like that kind of

training might increase his confidence and provide a good alternative skill-set.

>

> What do you think?

>

> Todd

>

[Guest guest]

If he's interested in Biology, then he should just concentrate on taking those

classes, emphasis on them, as he goes through school and college. Schools have

them choose a career path now and maybe name " something " but I would just tell

him to stay in science/Biology so far as his classes go and don't worry about

naming exactly what job he wants. If he likes marine life, emphasis there.

My OCD son got a BS in Biology, knew he wanted to go into medical research and

felt probably cancer research. He still says cancer research (he's 23 now).

Have to say once he got to the university, smart as he is, he felt he wasn't so

smart as grades not so high (A's) as in high school and community college. He

wasn't used to actually needing to study! And there were times he wondered did

he really want to stay in research, but he just didn't know what else he wanted

to do, so just stayed in it. Like, " this is hard, I'm not making A's, am I cut

out for this, but I don't know what other career I'd like, no interest in other

things... " type thoughts. When he finally had some class that was on Cancer, his

interested perked back up, he really enjoyed that class and did well in it.

Finally had a job interview, haven't heard yay or nay yet. But whenever he gets

one, will look for a rental that is within his $ budget for whatever salary he

makes.

My oldest son, 27, had the career choice dilemma. He was worried because there

wasn't ONE thing he could say he wanted to do, just didn't have any particular

goal/interest and it really bothered him. He bugged me about it sometimes. I

told him some people from young age seem to know what they want to do, some

don't, and there isn't anything wrong with not having any particular goal. He

never did finish any college. He worked as a veterinarian tech when younger,

worked helping a plumber or two, took a semester on welding...gosh, can't recall

all he did, but each one he'd say " this is it " and then not follow through with

it. One thing he has stuck with is restaurant work, whether he liked it or not,

he needed a job. So now he's at level where he manages and I assume this is

always what he'll do, doesn't hate it. But as I told him, you'll find more of

your interests when you're older (if you don't know in high school) and work

varied jobs or something. I've always done secretarial type office work, just

like it. Like computers too. He shares a house with a couple other young men,

share expenses.

I did temp office work for a while, and loved that. Took me to different

companies and was just wonderful, found an interest in a lot and also seeing how

different companies operated. Worked in a bank repossession dept, worked at a

hazardous chemical waste company, worked at one that makes Mcs chicken

nuggets/patties, helped inventory at a medical supply company...others, all very

interesting, can see where it could help people know what they would/wouldn't

want to do, pick up new interests, job paths.... Wish I'd had one at a lawncare

company, I don't have a green thumb!

My other son switched majors so many times, he's in his 5th and final year at

college and graduates May 4, yay! So final major is Sports Fitness-Medicine.

When he entered there his first year, it was Latin as a major. And then

psychology. And then Nutrition. and some other inbetween. So your son may

declare a certain major just to have one, but find he switches.

Guess my long way of saying he doesn't have to say " Marine Biologist " yet, just

stick with the interest in classes as he chooses which to take. He'll find a

job somewhere just to have a job and interest, more definite path will find its

way to him. I'm with you on the bicycle mechanic school, if he's willing to do

a few weeks of classes, would be a nice interest for him to have, a hobby of

sorts, doesn't have to make a career of it (but something to fall back on later

if he were to decide to, or have a side-job). I have a cousin somewhere who

does that.

I think most everyone worries in these times can we support ourselves with

prices going up and pay not, have to watch our budgets.

>

> My 16 year-old son suffers from OCD. He is managing it fairly well most of

the time.

>

> I have read here and elsewhere that uncertainty is a big part of OCD.

>

> He worries increasingly about his future career and how he will support

himself. He does not want to be a burden on us or his sister. We try to

comfort him - adolescence is a time of uncertainty for most teens. He wants to

go to college and is smart enough to do well there - if motivated.

>

> It seems like his uncertainty might be reduced by choosing a career path

sooner than later. He has expressed an interested in studying Biology and Scuba

Diving. He will not talk about career paths (ie Marine Biologist) that might

result from studying those subjects.

>

> For a while he was very interested in bicycles and looked into bicycle

mechanic schools. Some classes last a few weeks. It seems like that kind of

training might increase his confidence and provide a good alternative skill-set.

>

> What do you think?

>

> Todd

>