Tara - ian Brothers

[Guest guest]

Hey Tara - I see you are from Chicago! Do you happen to know anything about the

ian Brothers Behavioral Health Center there? That might be an option for my

son for partial hosp. I have no idea where he would stay - do you have any

suggestions?

thanks!

Rhonda

Re: Any advice?

In 1st grade my son who was then 6 began crying during the day in school, it

was completely disruptive.

We had more trouble on Mondays than other days. Some time I just took him with

my in the morning to the library, and then tried to bring him in at lunch time.

It was all he could tolerate. The private therapist supported this. Other days

in the week were less difficult, but Mondays were the worst. So making the day

shorter was helpful. The whole thing lasted a few months, and I pulled him a

total of 4 or 5 times. It was helpful during the crisis for coping.

Then the therapist suggested scheduling his in-school Social work session for

first thing Monday morning. It was so helpful for him to start the day in her

office playing a game and talking. Maybe an in-school social worker can help

with coping?

If the classroom teacher is not experienced with OCD, the responses can make

anxiety worse. We and the teacher used to say, " Don't worry about x, it will

never happen. " But the OCD mind will always search for the outrageous

possibility that x WILL happen. And he felt compelled to obsess and debate

those possibilities endlessly. Instead, we learned responses to help diffuse

the anxiety. " Yes that is possible, but it has never happened in 20 years in

this classroom, so the odds are pretty good it won't happen today. And if it

does, I will be here to help you through it. " The OCD person has to learn to

tolerate a degree of uncertainty.

I will say a rather silly but effective strategy was humor. We went a bought

a few joke books. When he was feeling really jazzed up the teacher could ask him

to get his joke book and tell a few knock knock jokes. Once he got giggling the

anxiety really settled down.

Another factor we learned in retrospect... in 1st grade my son had to walk

into class alone (without parents). Separating at the door was so hard. He

would hold it together for a while, then fall apart in class. We completely

changed the routine in 2nd grade. I walked him all the way to the classroom to

meet his teacher. He asked her any questions that were worrying him, and

settled those right away. Then he told her a knock knock joke. This took all

of 3 minutes, and he happily separated and completed full school days. Without

any meds- therapy and these routine changes turned around his day completely. He

was also placed into a more challenging math group- it was a better fit and

somehow this helped as well.

Maybe something here will be useful for you. OCD does wax and wane, so when

things are very difficult take a deep breath and remember that in three weeks it

may look completely different than it does today. OCD is a mysterious fellow.

Good luck,

Tara from Chicago