-triggers

[Guest guest]

Actually husband is main trigger for son. How do you deal with your son on

this?

Rhonda

Re: Any advice?

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> In 1st grade my son who was then 6 began crying during the day in school, it

was completely disruptive.

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> We had more trouble on Mondays than other days. Some time I just took him

with my in the morning to the library, and then tried to bring him in at lunch

time. It was all he could tolerate. The private therapist supported this. Other

days in the week were less difficult, but Mondays were the worst. So making the

day shorter was helpful. The whole thing lasted a few months, and I pulled him a

total of 4 or 5 times. It was helpful during the crisis for coping.

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> Then the therapist suggested scheduling his in-school Social work session

for first thing Monday morning. It was so helpful for him to start the day in

her office playing a game and talking. Maybe an in-school social worker can help

with coping?

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> If the classroom teacher is not experienced with OCD, the responses can make

anxiety worse. We and the teacher used to say, " Don't worry about x, it will

never happen. " But the OCD mind will always search for the outrageous

possibility that x WILL happen. And he felt compelled to obsess and debate those

possibilities endlessly. Instead, we learned responses to help diffuse the

anxiety. " Yes that is possible, but it has never happened in 20 years in this

classroom, so the odds are pretty good it won't happen today. And if it does, I

will be here to help you through it. " The OCD person has to learn to tolerate a

degree of uncertainty.

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> I will say a rather silly but effective strategy was humor. We went a bought

a few joke books. When he was feeling really jazzed up the teacher could ask him

to get his joke book and tell a few knock knock jokes. Once he got giggling the

anxiety really settled down.

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> Another factor we learned in retrospect... in 1st grade my son had to walk

into class alone (without parents). Separating at the door was so hard. He would

hold it together for a while, then fall apart in class. We completely changed

the routine in 2nd grade. I walked him all the way to the classroom to meet his

teacher. He asked her any questions that were worrying him, and settled those

right away. Then he told her a knock knock joke. This took all of 3 minutes, and

he happily separated and completed full school days. Without any meds- therapy

and these routine changes turned around his day completely. He was also placed

into a more challenging math group- it was a better fit and somehow this helped

as well.

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> Maybe something here will be useful for you. OCD does wax and wane, so when

things are very difficult take a deep breath and remember that in three weeks it

may look completely different than it does today. OCD is a mysterious fellow.

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> Good luck,

> Tara from Chicago

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