Re: Responding to OCD in 3-year-old

[Guest guest]

Hi t, welcome! These are just some thoughts, trying to think back to when

my 3 sons were that age; and you've probably tried some/all this.

Maybe lay out the " rules " for him? Take some of the situations you mentioned

and set up a plan. Like no " do over " for A, only 2 for B.... Or before he

begins any of those tasks, go over it and say now you know before we start this,

we will not start any CDs over, we can just not listen to any.... You might

just need to pick out 1 or 2 of the problem areas to start with, not tackle all.

Sometimes making a game out of things can help. If something has to be perfect,

maybe like acting out those scenes -- have fun making up his own scenes, what

would he like the story to be.... With an activity, change it up, see how

" fast it can be done " or how " slow " , race each other, time it.... Remind him

things don't have to be perfect, this is for fun....

If you label it as OCD, give OCD a name, he needs to not " listen " and to " boss

back " OCD.

Oh, never found all the answers with my own sons, just raising them in general!

(not my present OCDer) went thru some " OCD " at a young age like that and

sometimes I went along, sometimes refused and sometimes just said you are

driving me a little crazy with this .... Sigh! He did get past it all

though. My present OCDer is now 23 and didn't have " signs " at that same age.

Gotta go, glad you found our group. OH - there are some good childen's books

for OCD, he may enjoy some of those! Good parent books too!

>

> Hi,

>

> I'm new to the list, but unfortunately not new to OCD, as I have had a

> history of OCD myself going back to my childhood. I have noticed that my son

> (who is 3, almost 4) has what appear to me to be OCD symptoms of his own and

> I'm wondering the best way to handle them. I don't think he needs therapy

> at this point, but I need to know how to react when OCD situations arise.

> His symptoms usually have to do with wanting to repeat something. For

[Guest guest]

It would be great if your could find an OCD therapist who specializes in young

children, even for just a consult. My daughter's OCD reared its head as young

as yours, and since I have OCD, I realized what I was seeing, but kept hoping

that I was wrong about it. It would be good to help him pick a name for the

" bully " in his brain that makes him feel he has to redo things and then when he

starts crying and getting angry about it, remind him that you are going to fight

against " " the bully by not giving into him. You might even want to do the

thing with him by telling him you two are going to play a game in which

you actually don't recreate the scenes the exact way, but do it with changes.

This could get him used to accepting that things don't have to be " just right " .

Responding to OCD in 3-year-old

Hi,

I'm new to the list, but unfortunately not new to OCD, as I have had a

history of OCD myself going back to my childhood. I have noticed that my son

(who is 3, almost 4) has what appear to me to be OCD symptoms of his own and

I'm wondering the best way to handle them. I don't think he needs therapy

at this point, but I need to know how to react when OCD situations arise.

His symptoms usually have to do with wanting to repeat something. For

instance, he enjoys watching DVDs and acting out the scenes with his

own toy trains, but if he doesn't do it right or misses something he wants to

rewind the DVD back so he can recreate the scene. The problem is

sometimes it's never right and he ends up beating up the DVD player (so I've

taken

it away because it just made him so angry and upset). Or yesterday we were

driving in the car listening to one of his CDs and he likes to follow

along in the booklet. He got distracted for a second and wanted me to start a

track over so he could make sure he had looked at the booklet (which I know

from the past can just lead to more such requests ending in total meltdown

because it's never exactly what he wants) but I refused to put the track

back, which led to a screaming tantrum that lasted until we got to our

destination and I finally got him distracted onto another activity. The desire

to go back and do something over " right " is not limited to media devices.

Sometimes if he isn't satisfied with how something was done, he wants to go

back to the very beginning of the activity to do it over again and is not

easily distracted from his upset. For instance, he wasn't cooperating

getting dressed one day and I dressed him lying down. Even when we were

already done and downstairs he was still crying to start over with him standing

up. It's so hard to discern the OCD from the normal toddler difficulties,

but sometimes I'm very sure it's OCD.

How do you react to OCD symptoms in a child so young? I have been trying

not to give in to requests to repeat things that I believe are OCD but of

course that makes him very upset. I tell him I understand it feels really

important, but that it's OCD and it's not real. I'm not sure that's the

right way to word it though and appreciate any tips or resources that could

help me react in a helpful way. I am expecting our second child this summer

so I know it is a difficult time for my son.

Thanks for reading!

t

[Guest guest]

It would be great if your could find an OCD therapist who specializes in young

children, even for just a consult. My daughter's OCD reared its head as young

as yours, and since I have OCD, I realized what I was seeing, but kept hoping

that I was wrong about it. It would be good to help him pick a name for the

" bully " in his brain that makes him feel he has to redo things and then when he

starts crying and getting angry about it, remind him that you are going to fight

against " " the bully by not giving into him. You might even want to do the

thing with him by telling him you two are going to play a game in which

you actually don't recreate the scenes the exact way, but do it with changes.

This could get him used to accepting that things don't have to be " just right " .

Responding to OCD in 3-year-old

Hi,

I'm new to the list, but unfortunately not new to OCD, as I have had a

history of OCD myself going back to my childhood. I have noticed that my son

(who is 3, almost 4) has what appear to me to be OCD symptoms of his own and

I'm wondering the best way to handle them. I don't think he needs therapy

at this point, but I need to know how to react when OCD situations arise.

His symptoms usually have to do with wanting to repeat something. For

instance, he enjoys watching DVDs and acting out the scenes with his

own toy trains, but if he doesn't do it right or misses something he wants to

rewind the DVD back so he can recreate the scene. The problem is

sometimes it's never right and he ends up beating up the DVD player (so I've

taken

it away because it just made him so angry and upset). Or yesterday we were

driving in the car listening to one of his CDs and he likes to follow

along in the booklet. He got distracted for a second and wanted me to start a

track over so he could make sure he had looked at the booklet (which I know

from the past can just lead to more such requests ending in total meltdown

because it's never exactly what he wants) but I refused to put the track

back, which led to a screaming tantrum that lasted until we got to our

destination and I finally got him distracted onto another activity. The desire

to go back and do something over " right " is not limited to media devices.

Sometimes if he isn't satisfied with how something was done, he wants to go

back to the very beginning of the activity to do it over again and is not

easily distracted from his upset. For instance, he wasn't cooperating

getting dressed one day and I dressed him lying down. Even when we were

already done and downstairs he was still crying to start over with him standing

up. It's so hard to discern the OCD from the normal toddler difficulties,

but sometimes I'm very sure it's OCD.

How do you react to OCD symptoms in a child so young? I have been trying

not to give in to requests to repeat things that I believe are OCD but of

course that makes him very upset. I tell him I understand it feels really

important, but that it's OCD and it's not real. I'm not sure that's the

right way to word it though and appreciate any tips or resources that could

help me react in a helpful way. I am expecting our second child this summer

so I know it is a difficult time for my son.

Thanks for reading!

t

[Guest guest]

My son was diagnosed at 3 with severe OCD but had likely been moderate as early

as 9 months old or likely even from birth. My advice is to find a good CBT/ERP

therapist who is experienced with very young children ( very hard to find) and

get some information on how to treat. If this is OCD, the sooner you start

exposures on it, the better because in my experience, once it gets rolling it

can explode very fast and when it explodes, it is MUCH harder to treat. (analogy

to cancer- easier if it is localized, harder if metastatic).

In the meantime, while looking for a therapist, you can help him make a fear

hirarchy, and begin to tackle the things one at a time as a specific " time out

from life " type exposure. YOu are going to practice doing stuff " wrong " . My son

used to make " set ups " with playmobiles at that age which took hours to create

" right " then couldnt be touched ever again. They were museum pieces essentially.

Our babysitter even got him little bits of museum wax and tiny little red ropes

to rope them off ( kind of as a joke) before we realized we actually needed to

treat the " set ups " with exposures. It is really hard at age 3 ( and with a new

baby- my son was 20 months when we had our second and clearly had OCD, but was

my first and I thought he was just a very persnickety toddler) but also in my

experience really important to work on. No time to be more extensive right now,

but happy to discuss more rx in the very young child if you would like.