advice on counseling

[Guest guest]

Getting a little more serious here, son's therapist asked if his dad and I could

come in to do a little counseling without son, to see how son's home experience

could be improved. I have shared several times on this board how uninvolved dad

is in our home and children's lives. Dad says it is because I have turned

children against him, and because I do not tell children they should just put up

with Dad and still be nice to him no matter what (he doesn't say it like that!).

Children tell me they do not like Dad's unfriendly, disapproving ways and how

Dad ignores them (BP families know what I mean.)

Counselor is going in direction of giving dad and I " marriage counseling, " as

in, how to get along better, rather than going with helping dad and son get

along better. She will continue to do therapy with son alone, but when she's

working with dad, she thinks it should be on the marriage.

I'm not really seeing this helping son at all. Dad is not going to budge, or try

anything she suggests (so far, he hasn't from first session). Do you agree and

if so, how do I move therapist toward helping dad work with son rather than me?

thanks, as always,

Rhonda