Guest guest Posted April 11, 2012 Report Share Posted April 11, 2012 Hi Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? P Lease help!~ Best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2012 Report Share Posted April 11, 2012 Oh, , it sounds so awful... Is there someone at the Day Treatment School who will truly listen to you? The psychologist? It sounds like she may need inpatient treatment again--inpatient treatment that's specific for OCD. I can't imagine that calling 911 is the best therapeutic option. (Or if it is, it's taking its sweet time to work!) Are any of the professionals treating her actual OCD specialists? The CBT with ERP is specific and proven treatment for OCD--getting that specific therapy makes a huge difference. Jokes? Hmmmm... Have you seen the site that features text message " Auto-correct " errors? I think it's on You Tube. Some of them were funny enough to make my stomach hurt from laughing. Worth a try for a few minutes of distraction! Keep posting, please! That's why we're all here. > Hi > Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > P Lease help!~ > Best > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2012 Report Share Posted April 11, 2012 Dear , Sooo sorry to hear of what you're going through. Don't have any answers, but wanted you to know you're not alone and that you have this community for some moral support! If at all possible, try to do something one-on-one with your 4 1/2 year old. I bet you'd both benefit! Stay strong! -------------------------- Hi Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? P Lease help!~ Best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2012 Report Share Posted April 11, 2012 Oh, that site has helped me climb out of frustration many times! There are several of them that have had me laughing so hard that tears ran down my face. Just so you know, some of the subject matter and language could be rated " R " . Even so, it has been a great distraction! Here is the link: http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/ Keri > > Oh, , it sounds so awful... Is there someone at the Day Treatment School who will truly > > Jokes? Hmmmm... Have you seen the site that features text message " Auto-correct " errors? I think it's on You Tube. Some of them were funny enough to make my stomach hurt from laughing. Worth a try for a few minutes of distraction! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 , I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for you. Like someone else said, if you could get your daughter into a place like 's that is specific to treating OCD I think they would be able to help her. Here is a link to their website: http://rogershospital.org/residential-center/child-adolescent-centers. My son (15) is there now, and has been there for the past month. He has different issues than your daughter, but his condition was very dire upon being admitted. It's very slow going for him in particular, but he is making little baby steps towards progress. The staff is really wonderful and they totally " get it " with OCD as that is what the program is specifically geared towards treating. > Dear , > Sooo sorry to hear of what you're going through. Don't have any answers, but > wanted you to know you're not alone and that you have this community for some moral support! > If at all possible, try to do something one-on-one with your 4 1/2 year old. I bet you'd > both benefit! > Stay strong! > > > -------------------------- > Hi > Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > P Lease help!~ > Best > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 I thought Bellevue kept here there for a month because they WERE working with her to treat her ocd. But she came home with no coping mechanisms as far as her ocd goes, even though I know they taught her some. This was the best help I could find here in NYC , they are connect to the NYU child studies center, and I don't; know where else to go besides this. I'm not prepared to live with such a volatile person, I hold my tongue and don't react because it makes it all worse. But she rages at whatever she wants , whenever she wants, Re: Re: Cannot cope anymore , I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for you. Like someone else said, if you could get your daughter into a place like 's that is specific to treating OCD I think they would be able to help her. Here is a link to their website: http://rogershospital.org/residential-center/child-adolescent-centers. My son (15) is there now, and has been there for the past month. He has different issues than your daughter, but his condition was very dire upon being admitted. It's very slow going for him in particular, but he is making little baby steps towards progress. The staff is really wonderful and they totally " get it " with OCD as that is what the program is specifically geared towards treating. > Dear , > Sooo sorry to hear of what you're going through. Don't have any answers, but > wanted you to know you're not alone and that you have this community for some moral support! > If at all possible, try to do something one-on-one with your 4 1/2 year old. I bet you'd > both benefit! > Stay strong! > > > -------------------------- > Hi > Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > P Lease help!~ > Best > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 My daughter's psychologist tells me I MUST ignore my daughter's behavior, negative behavior. Which I agree with. Except I have a 4 year old who cannot ignore her screaming and rage. Just how " psych 101 " is her " dear abby " advice to me? Is that PhD worthy advice? why do I feel patronized by this advice? THanks! Re: Cannot cope anymore Dear , Sooo sorry to hear of what you're going through. Don't have any answers, but wanted you to know you're not alone and that you have this community for some moral support! If at all possible, try to do something one-on-one with your 4 1/2 year old. I bet you'd both benefit! Stay strong! -------------------------- Hi Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? P Lease help!~ Best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 If she has OCD, she needs an OCD specialist. > > My daughter's psychologist tells me I MUST ignore my daughter's behavior, negative behavior. Which I agree with. Except I have a 4 year old who cannot ignore her screaming and rage. Just how " psych 101 " is her " dear abby " advice to me? Is that PhD worthy advice? why do I feel patronized by this advice? > THanks! > > > Re: Cannot cope anymore > > Dear , > Sooo sorry to hear of what you're going through. Don't have any answers, but > wanted you to know you're not alone and that you have this community for some moral support! > If at all possible, try to do something one-on-one with your 4 1/2 year old. I bet you'd > both benefit! > Stay strong! > > > -------------------------- > Hi > Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > P Lease help!~ > Best > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 This person IS an ocd specialist! Can you believe it. I can't Re: Cannot cope anymore > > Dear , > Sooo sorry to hear of what you're going through. Don't have any answers, but > wanted you to know you're not alone and that you have this community for some moral support! > If at all possible, try to do something one-on-one with your 4 1/2 year old. I bet you'd > both benefit! > Stay strong! > > > -------------------------- > Hi > Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > P Lease help!~ > Best > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 Have you asked psych if Prozac dosage could be increased? Rhonda Re: Re: Cannot cope anymore My daughter's psychologist tells me I MUST ignore my daughter's behavior, negative behavior. Which I agree with. Except I have a 4 year old who cannot ignore her screaming and rage. Just how " psych 101 " is her " dear abby " advice to me? Is that PhD worthy advice? why do I feel patronized by this advice? THanks! -----Original Message----- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 , would you like to Ask Dr. Chansky and Dr. their thoughts about your situation? We could pass on this post to them, or you could do another with " Ask Dr. XXX " as the subject and I could send to either or both of them? Let me know. Has anything got better, or worse, since starting Prozac??? ((hugs)) (Co-Moderator) > > Hi > Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > P Lease help!~ > Best > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 Hi Thanks sooo much, would you be kind enough to pass it on? I would really appreciate it. Same since prozac, and month long inpatient experience. They may or may not know her therapist lauren moscowitz at nyu child study center. Thanks! Re: Cannot cope anymore , would you like to Ask Dr. Chansky and Dr. their thoughts about your situation? We could pass on this post to them, or you could do another with " Ask Dr. XXX " as the subject and I could send to either or both of them? Let me know. Has anything got better, or worse, since starting Prozac??? ((hugs)) (Co-Moderator) > > Hi > Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoar d of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > P Lease help!~ > Best > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 Dear , It sure doesn't seem like the meds are giving her or your family any relief! Could you ask the Dr to try something else? I know OCD often requires a high dose to really grab hold....our MD says that you can't treat OCD " lightly " - especially since it seems that OCD has a strong hold on her right now. Keep in mind - she isn't in a very good place right now - but it is completely understandable to be upset - we have all been there. > > > > Hi > > Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoar d of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > > P Lease help!~ > > Best > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 From what I understand about hoarding, it is treated differently than OCD in some ways. Have you met with a specialist in hoarding? Someone who can help you and your daughter come to an understanding about why you cleared out her mess, but also how furious she is that you did. It seems that hoarders are incredibly attached to " things " and I think that it may be a degree to which we who aren't hoarders may not be able to really understand. Of course there needs to be a way to have your daughter deal with her hurt/anger in an acceptable way, but I don't know what's been tried up to this point. When she does, how long does it last? Can you and your son tune it out and go into a different part of your home? What is she being taught to do to handle her anger and to view things in a more acceptable way? Is her diagnosis only hoarding? Sorry for all these questions, but I think that in truth, we can only offer a place to provide support for you, but we don't know enough about your daughter's situation to be able to give good advice. For what it's worth, I don't think this has anything at all to do with not having a strong male role model. I chose to have my children on my own, and so they have never had a male role model in our house, yet their OCD presents in an entirely different manner, i.e. lots of fears and anxiety, but no raging. Re: Cannot cope anymore Dear , Sooo sorry to hear of what you're going through. Don't have any answers, but wanted you to know you're not alone and that you have this community for some moral support! If at all possible, try to do something one-on-one with your 4 1/2 year old. I bet you'd both benefit! Stay strong! -------------------------- Hi Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? P Lease help!~ Best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 Do they suggest trying another medication? I have found that results with medications vary even though each are effective for some people. Thus, my son and I are currently trying a new one and we are both finding it isn't working. We are going to stay on it a bit longer, just to make sure we give it a fair shot, but after that we have an appointment with our psychiatrist in two weeks to see about changing it. The one that works best for my daughter and myself is Anafranil. My daughter remains on that, but I wanted to try this newer one because while my daughter doesn't, I gain lots of weight on Anafranil. Re: Cannot cope anymore , would you like to Ask Dr. Chansky and Dr. their thoughts about your situation? We could pass on this post to them, or you could do another with " Ask Dr. XXX " as the subject and I could send to either or both of them? Let me know. Has anything got better, or worse, since starting Prozac??? ((hugs)) (Co-Moderator) > > Hi > Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoar d of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > P Lease help!~ > Best > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2012 Report Share Posted April 12, 2012 the woman she's working with is supposedly a hoarding specialist. i have seen nothing work so far and her therapist making me the one who is the one who supposed to be the one who " takes control " when my daughter rages by ignoring her or calling 911 if she throws things. I really ask myself what kind of specialist is this! I should call Dr. Phil at this point! (humor) And we have been through many many therapists until we got to this one! !! just blame mom. fast easy quick and convenient! best Sent from my Samsung Captivate on AT & T Jordana120@... wrote: >From what I understand about hoarding, it is treated differently than OCD in some ways. Have you met with a specialist in hoarding? Someone who can help you and your daughter come to an understanding about why you cleared out her mess, but also how furious she is that you did. It seems that hoarders are incredibly attached to " things " and I think that it may be a degree to which we who aren't hoarders may not be able to really understand. Of course there needs to be a way to have your daughter deal with her hurt/anger in an acceptable way, but I don't know what's been tried up to this point. When she does, how long does it last? Can you and your son tune it out and go into a different part of your home? What is she being taught to do to handle her anger and to view things in a more acceptable way? Is her diagnosis only hoarding? Sorry for all these questions, but I think that in truth, we can only offer a place to provide support for you, but we don't know enough about your daughter's situation to be able to give good advice. > >For what it's worth, I don't think this has anything at all to do with not having a strong male role model. I chose to have my children on my own, and so they have never had a male role model in our house, yet their OCD presents in an entirely different manner, i.e. lots of fears and anxiety, but no raging. > > > > Re: Cannot cope anymore > >Dear , >Sooo sorry to hear of what you're going through. Don't have any answers, but >wanted you to know you're not alone and that you have this community for some moral support! >If at all possible, try to do something one-on-one with your 4 1/2 year old. I bet you'd >both benefit! >Stay strong! > > >-------------------------- >Hi >Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? >P Lease help!~ >Best > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2012 Report Share Posted April 13, 2012 So sorry you're struggling, ! I wish I had answers for you, but every case is so unique that sharing my son's success with Prozac will probably not help you. Is there some way you can take some time for yourself? A kickboxing class? A scrapbook night? Something that would take your mind off OCD for a least an hour? Hang in there, accept that you need all the armor you can get with this OCD battle, but that sometimes you have to take it all off and do something for yourself to keep heart. Cheri > > >From what I understand about hoarding, it is treated differently than OCD in some ways. Have you met with a specialist in hoarding? Someone who can help you and your daughter come to an understanding about why you cleared out her mess, but also how furious she is that you did. It seems that hoarders are incredibly attached to " things " and I think that it may be a degree to which we who aren't hoarders may not be able to really understand. Of course there needs to be a way to have your daughter deal with her hurt/anger in an acceptable way, but I don't know what's been tried up to this point. When she does, how long does it last? Can you and your son tune it out and go into a different part of your home? What is she being taught to do to handle her anger and to view things in a more acceptable way? Is her diagnosis only hoarding? Sorry for all these questions, but I think that in truth, we can only offer a place to provide support for you, but we don't know enough about your daughter's situation to be able to give good advice. > > > >For what it's worth, I don't think this has anything at all to do with not having a strong male role model. I chose to have my children on my own, and so they have never had a male role model in our house, yet their OCD presents in an entirely different manner, i.e. lots of fears and anxiety, but no raging. > > > > > > > > Re: Cannot cope anymore > > > >Dear , > >Sooo sorry to hear of what you're going through. Don't have any answers, but > >wanted you to know you're not alone and that you have this community for some moral support! > >If at all possible, try to do something one-on-one with your 4 1/2 year old. I bet you'd > >both benefit! > >Stay strong! > > > > > >-------------------------- > >Hi > >Been here a while but am losing my mind. Basically my 12 1/2 year odl daughter through her ocd/hoarding is completely dictating how we are all living here. She has been an inpatient at bellvue hospital is on 40 mgs prozac (which does nothing as far as I can see, is in day treatment school, has a psychologist and has taken over MY bed becuase I cleaned her room of complete squalor, and I mean huge bags of rotting garbage. Becuase I did that, her attitude is not " an eye for an eye " , you did this to me mom, not I can do whatever. Sleep in your bed, throw your clothes out of your closet. There are NO BOUNDRIES. adn I I attempt to make them, it's huge RAGE and I have to call 911. Is that my only option a war of wills and calling 911? This is what her therapist says. I am a strong person, but this cannot be my life! I also have a 4 1/2 year old and he and I are basically being forced to sleep on a pull out sofa because this HUGE empty room which once housed her hoard of garbage is now a living memorial to this garbage. I cannot have any order here because her rage abotu everything is SO HUGE that if I attempt to bring it up it's WAR. I " m at my wits end. And the help we got is fine, and that was difficult enough to find. Not easy at all. But I have to live walking on eggshells around a child? Like I said, I " m not a wimpy scardy cat, but is this battle my only option? Obviously a month in a locked psych unit and me calling the police has made no real dent on her. Any support, ideas, anything. even jokes at this point would cheer me up. She has never had an authoritarian type of male father figure in her life, myself and her father are not together, but he isn't a strong male personality if you know what I mean? > >P Lease help!~ > >Best > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2012 Report Share Posted April 13, 2012 So sorry . I have a couple thoughts, but take them as you will since I don't know all the facts & hoarding isn't our issue. If the therapist is not doing anything to treat the hoarding itself and/or has no other suggestions to deal with rages other than ignore them or call police, I'd look for yet another therapist. I would think a hoarding specialist would help - check the OCD Foundation website for a specialist in your area. That's where I found our therapist (after a long exhaustive search elsewhere). Once I finally found a therapist I felt we were on the same page & felt she could " help " me & my child. I never felt I was blamed or that I just had to " deal with " the problem without any guidance. I hope you can find that solace soon. We have dealt with OCD rages & it's awful. I can't ignore them, though I react better now than I used to. I usually send my child to her room (or somewhere, even outside) to isolate her & keep her away from family until she calms down. That helps me cope, helps the rest of the family, and keeps us from having to call the police for my behavior. The therapist may have a point that paying attention to the rages can increase their severity, but ignoring them is not always an option, especially with other kids in the family. It used to make me furious (still does sometimes) that the whole family was essentially a slave to my daughter's OCD & that we had to endure her rituals, rages, and behavior. In a calm moment, perhaps you can talk to your daughter & let her know what you plan to do if she rages. Maybe even pick out a place she will go ahead of time. Then follow through as best you can when it happens. This helped my daughter cope or at least understand what behavior we would & wouldn't tolerate. We could never discuss such things in the midst of a rage, as she was unable to think rationally. Hope things get better for you soon. Dot > > the woman she's working with is supposedly a hoarding specialist. i have seen nothing work so far and her therapist making me the one who is the one who supposed to be the one who " takes control " when my daughter rages by ignoring her or calling 911 if she throws things. I really ask myself what kind of specialist is this! I should call Dr. Phil at this point! (humor) And we have been through many many therapists until we got to this one! !! just blame mom. fast easy quick and convenient! > best > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2012 Report Share Posted April 13, 2012 So sorry . I have a couple thoughts, but take them as you will since I don't know all the facts & hoarding isn't our issue. If the therapist is not doing anything to treat the hoarding itself and/or has no other suggestions to deal with rages other than ignore them or call police, I'd look for yet another therapist. I would think a hoarding specialist would help - check the OCD Foundation website for a specialist in your area. That's where I found our therapist (after a long exhaustive search elsewhere). Once I finally found a therapist I felt we were on the same page & felt she could " help " me & my child. I never felt I was blamed or that I just had to " deal with " the problem without any guidance. I hope you can find that solace soon. We have dealt with OCD rages & it's awful. I can't ignore them, though I react better now than I used to. I usually send my child to her room (or somewhere, even outside) to isolate her & keep her away from family until she calms down. That helps me cope, helps the rest of the family, and keeps us from having to call the police for my behavior. The therapist may have a point that paying attention to the rages can increase their severity, but ignoring them is not always an option, especially with other kids in the family. It used to make me furious (still does sometimes) that the whole family was essentially a slave to my daughter's OCD & that we had to endure her rituals, rages, and behavior. In a calm moment, perhaps you can talk to your daughter & let her know what you plan to do if she rages. Maybe even pick out a place she will go ahead of time. Then follow through as best you can when it happens. This helped my daughter cope or at least understand what behavior we would & wouldn't tolerate. We could never discuss such things in the midst of a rage, as she was unable to think rationally. Hope things get better for you soon. Dot > > the woman she's working with is supposedly a hoarding specialist. i have seen nothing work so far and her therapist making me the one who is the one who supposed to be the one who " takes control " when my daughter rages by ignoring her or calling 911 if she throws things. I really ask myself what kind of specialist is this! I should call Dr. Phil at this point! (humor) And we have been through many many therapists until we got to this one! !! just blame mom. fast easy quick and convenient! > best > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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