Re: Sue - Erp

[Guest guest]

Hello Rhonda,

I'm sorry your experience with your therapist has been a little tough. I agree

with you when you said that you think that your and your son could do the ERP on

our own.

I agree that your son should have some input into the hierarchy but I also worry

that if it was all up to your son that he would be tempted to make it too easy.

Maybe you should construct most of it but be prepared to be flexible. In our

case, I came up with exposures without my son's input because he wasn't

interested in thinking about it (I'm the one who ended up paying my son to do

ERP because it was the only way I could think of to get him going with it.)

I also found out very quickly that I needed to be flexible with the ERP and to

substitute exposures as we went along. My ideas weren't always as good as I had

hoped they would be but found that I could quickly find new ones. I could do

this because, like you, I knew my son's symptoms better than anyone else.

In our case, it was necessary to do exposures every day. I had tried just doing

minor ones several times a week but found that this approach didn't work for us.

We ended up hitting ERP hard during my son's school breaks.

Hope this helps,

Best,

Joni

[Guest guest]

Hi Joni

Thanks so much for taking time to write more details about how you did ERP. I'm

thankful our therapist got us as far as he did but I think he didn't have enough

ERP experience. It would be fine with me to come up with the exposures -

therapist just seemed set that son should do it. Son will follow my lead but

isn't really interested in thinking about it - sounds a lot like yours!

Therapist also said at beginning of ERP son should always read his " Why I hate

OCD " list out loud and then I should read " 10 Commandments for doing ERP " -

after doing this 8 times, it's now feeling like another ritual!!

So - it's sounding pretty simple the way you and others have described it. Could

anyone do a walk through for those of us still on the other side? Do you warn

child ahead of time? Walk in and say it's time? How long did you do it each

time? How could you tell if it was going well or you needed to change up what

you're doing? Sorry about all the questions. I think my son being 17 is a factor

in that I can't shuffle him around any more - it's also harder to keep his

trust. I have to look like I know what I'm doing and it helps a lot if I can do

it right. If anyone could share a sequence of exposures that they used, like

5-7, that would be really helpful too for getting an idea of how much you can

bite off in each step.

I feel like he could really move if I could get this down so it would work for

him.

thanks, this has all been so tremendously helpful!

Rhonda

Re: Sue - Erp

Hello Rhonda,

I'm sorry your experience with your therapist has been a little tough. I agree

with you when you said that you think that your and your son could do the ERP on

our own.

I agree that your son should have some input into the hierarchy but I also

worry that if it was all up to your son that he would be tempted to make it too

easy. Maybe you should construct most of it but be prepared to be flexible. In

our case, I came up with exposures without my son's input because he wasn't

interested in thinking about it (I'm the one who ended up paying my son to do

ERP because it was the only way I could think of to get him going with it.)

I also found out very quickly that I needed to be flexible with the ERP and to

substitute exposures as we went along. My ideas weren't always as good as I had

hoped they would be but found that I could quickly find new ones. I could do

this because, like you, I knew my son's symptoms better than anyone else.

In our case, it was necessary to do exposures every day. I had tried just

doing minor ones several times a week but found that this approach didn't work

for us. We ended up hitting ERP hard during my son's school breaks.

Hope this helps,

Best,

Joni

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son knew ahead of time that we were going to do exposures. I usually gave

him about a day in advance. I did not always tell him the details of the

exposures, just that it was going to happen. We always did our exposures during

school breaks so my son knew when they were going to happen but when the time

got closer I would tell him the exact day we were to start.

During our sessions, as we came to call them, we would start out the day with

exposures that there fairly hard. The first exposures or series of exposures

would take about an hour - about as long as the both of us could take. For

example, since my son had sexual obsessions one of the first exposures we did

was to read out loud from human sexuality textbooks that are used for teaching

college students. I would read a section and then have my son read a section.

Of course, in the beginning he would pick easier sections but I eventually made

him work up to harder ones. After about an hour of doing this we would take a

break, but then would come back at it. Later in the day, I would sometimes do

other OCD-related things like reading to him from an OCD book (he would never

read about OCD on his own) or do minor exposures, like watching TV programs that

bothered him a little.

I knew that an exposure had a chance of working when I saw my son get upset.

This was hard to watch but at the same time, it told me that we were on the

right track. Sometimes he would even leave the room for a few minutes before he

came back. He needed a few minutes to steady himself for the exposure. I think

that if he had ever readily agreed to do an exposure, I would have thought twice

about it and would probably have tried something else. As for when to stop a

certain exposure - you will probably be able to tell. For me, it was when my

son didn't act like it was bothering him anymore.

Also, please keep in mind that when you start doing exposures, your son might

feel more anxious for a while - mine did. I just kept telling him that his

increased anxiety was telling us that we were on the right track and that soon

he would be feeling better.

As you can tell, I'm a big believer in ERP - I don't know if it can help

everyone to the extent it did my son. I think we all get to our OCD in

different ways, which might mean that it takes different methods to get us

better.

ERP worked wonders for my son - we ended up doing 4-5 of our sessions - and

after each time, he was obviously better.

Hope this helps.

Best,

Joni

[Guest guest]

Hi Rhonda,

Here is our story, my ds was 13 when diagnosed. He thought everything that was

at school(books,clothes,him), contaminated our house. He was able to function

at school, but at home it was a mess. He had to shower after school,could only

sit in certain spots, changed clothes alot. It was amazing how he could keep

straight, what was " contaminated " and what wasn't. He was pretty much non

functioning inside our house, but was able to look pretty much ok outside the

house. We found great therapist. He and ds set up the hierarchy list. For

example: Highest on list at 10 was " me in school clothes at home " . Sittting in

certain chair was a 7. Touching tv remote was at 5. Ranking was 10 the most

anxiety, and 1 none. The list had 30 items listed. Each week dtr gave us erp

homework.

First week was holding tv remote and not washing hands after. We had to do it

2x a day for the week, til the next dtr appt. At first he started at a 6, but

after 40 mins was still at a 4. We didn't have much success until the 5th day.

By then he was starting at a 2. After completing that item, the dtr would give

us hwk with the next item up the list. Dtr also put note about bossing back

ocd, on first homework sheet. " It's only ocd: nothing is really

contaminated-it's that the ocd makes me think that it is. Each time I talk

back/boss back ocd, it gets weaker. I will fight this ocd & beat it! " Due to

my son's age he didn't want me reading to him, but I would remind him to read it

over if he needed too. We were suppose to wait out the anxiety until it was

half of the starting number. Then I figured out he needed to touch something

not contaminated, or else he would just go wash his hands anyway! That's when

the dog came in handy since she would sit with him & I. If I could get him to

pet the dog, then I knew his anxiety was gone.

Ds didn't always want to do the erp. I treated it like school homework, and

basically told him he had to do it. Sometimes he did get rewards, after certain

difficult items, I got him something small he wanted. We did it mostly 2x

everyday(that's what dtr wanted), but it takes up alot of time in the evening,

if they have schoolwork, or you have some place to be. So somedays it didn't

get done, or was only once. Sometimes we would both be frustated, him because

he didn't want to do the erp, and me thinking he's never going to get better. I

ended up crying in the bathroom alot of times.

Some weeks he was able to carry over his success, such as if he could touch the

frig, then he was able to touch the microwave, without washing hands. So some

items didn't need its own week of erp. It helped us to have the dtr for ds to

answer to. That way I didn't always have to be the bad guy, telling ds what to

do all the time. After about 13+ weeks of erp, he was able to overcome the ocd,

and so far hasn't shown any more signs.

Ds just called it ocd, he didn't want any nickname for it. Ds didn't have meds.

Ds was also very open in discussing his ocd with his therapist, so dtr knew the

" why " behind my son's thinking what stuff was contaminated. That might be very

important when coming up with the heirarchy list, so you can start with the

easiest things. Finding the right therapist really helped us, but finding one

is not easy. We had been to a useless dtr for a month before finding the good

one.

A book I found really helpful was, " What to do when your child has OCD " by

Aureen Pinto Wagner. It helped me realize first dtr was clueless about ocd.

Sorry this is so long, hope it helps in some way.

Sue

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue

Thanks so much for taking time to write this out - it's very helpful. I've been

reading Wagner's book and it's so easy to read - I love it. I saw that our

therapist was not doing it the same way but I figured, oh well, I'm paying him

$100/hour - surely he knows what he's doing. Well, I won't go on. How did you

know when you found a good one? What did your old one do that you finally

figured was wrong?

I very much appreciate the hierarchy items you gave. Is there any chance you

would give the whole 30 items? I cannot quite get a handle on how to do it. I

want to feel confident when I start with son because I've bombed out with two

different ones now. Son seems to have animal contamination fears as well; we

have ducklings in the house now and he won't walk through that room.

Was there a block in your son's mind as to " no, I just can't do that? " Or did he

go along from the beginning? Was it mainly because he had confidence in the

therapist or what got him going?

That's so wonderful to hear that he's symptom-free!

Rhonda

Re: Sue - Erp

Hi Rhonda,

Here is our story, my ds was 13 when diagnosed. He thought everything that was

at school(books,clothes,him), contaminated our house. He was able to function at

school, but at home it was a mess. He had to shower after school,could only sit

in certain spots, changed clothes alot. It was amazing how he could keep

straight, what was " contaminated " and what wasn't. He was pretty much non

functioning inside our house, but was able to look pretty much ok outside the

house. We found great therapist. He and ds set up the hierarchy list. For

example: Highest on list at 10 was " me in school clothes at home " . Sittting in

certain chair was a 7. Touching tv remote was at 5. Ranking was 10 the most

anxiety, and 1 none. The list had 30 items listed. Each week dtr gave us erp

homework.

First week was holding tv remote and not washing hands after. We had to do it

2x a day for the week, til the next dtr appt. At first he started at a 6, but

after 40 mins was still at a 4. We didn't have much success until the 5th day.

By then he was starting at a 2. After completing that item, the dtr would give

us hwk with the next item up the list. Dtr also put note about bossing back ocd,

on first homework sheet. " It's only ocd: nothing is really contaminated-it's

that the ocd makes me think that it is. Each time I talk back/boss back ocd, it

gets weaker. I will fight this ocd & beat it! " Due to my son's age he didn't

want me reading to him, but I would remind him to read it over if he needed too.

We were suppose to wait out the anxiety until it was half of the starting

number. Then I figured out he needed to touch something not contaminated, or

else he would just go wash his hands anyway! That's when the dog came in handy

since she would sit with him & I. If I could get him to pet the dog, then I knew

his anxiety was gone.

Ds didn't always want to do the erp. I treated it like school homework, and

basically told him he had to do it. Sometimes he did get rewards, after certain

difficult items, I got him something small he wanted. We did it mostly 2x

everyday(that's what dtr wanted), but it takes up alot of time in the evening,

if they have schoolwork, or you have some place to be. So somedays it didn't get

done, or was only once. Sometimes we would both be frustated, him because he

didn't want to do the erp, and me thinking he's never going to get better. I

ended up crying in the bathroom alot of times.

Some weeks he was able to carry over his success, such as if he could touch

the frig, then he was able to touch the microwave, without washing hands. So

some items didn't need its own week of erp. It helped us to have the dtr for ds

to answer to. That way I didn't always have to be the bad guy, telling ds what

to do all the time. After about 13+ weeks of erp, he was able to overcome the

ocd, and so far hasn't shown any more signs.

Ds just called it ocd, he didn't want any nickname for it. Ds didn't have

meds. Ds was also very open in discussing his ocd with his therapist, so dtr

knew the " why " behind my son's thinking what stuff was contaminated. That might

be very important when coming up with the heirarchy list, so you can start with

the easiest things. Finding the right therapist really helped us, but finding

one is not easy. We had been to a useless dtr for a month before finding the

good one.

A book I found really helpful was, " What to do when your child has OCD " by

Aureen Pinto Wagner. It helped me realize first dtr was clueless about ocd.

Sorry this is so long, hope it helps in some way.

Sue

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

The first dtr we went to: I told him it's ocd, ds had all the classic symtoms.

The dtr never addressed it in a month, keep doing talk therapy, suggested ds had

issues with his dad, talked to him about girls. My ds would come out of the

appts and say to me when is he going to help me. Then dtr told me to just bring

son in for appt after school, ds won't have time for his most important

compulsion. Dtr actualy said to me anxiety is a good thing. Then I realized

this dtr had no idea of the anxiety ocd causes if he was going to make ds face

hardest thing with no preparation. We never went back.

The good dtr: First phone call, knew exactly what I was dealing with, told

me how to handle til first appt. At first appt, explained ocd to ds & I, this

was first time ds had heard all the details about ocd. Just hearing that was a

huge relief for my ds. That ocd makes you do things that don't make sense,

brain chemical disorder, it can get better. Even gave us a time frame/goal that

in 12 weeks he should be 70% better. That book has a list of ?s to ask

potential dtrs on pg 191. The good dtr answered all those ?s for me in the

first phone call/visit and I didn't even have to ask.

Ds went along from the beginning, he knew he really needed help and wanted the

help. He was resistant with doing the erp, mostly complaining that he didn't

want to do it, but I had to stick to it and was able to get it done with him.

And ds knew he'd have to answer to the dtr at the next appt. We both had alot

of confidence in this dtr.

As far as the heirarchy list, ds's list was all different items/places in the

house that were contaminated. Then each was ranked by how much anxiety it

caused ds. We started with the lowest(easiest) one, when that was accomplished,

then on to the next item up the list. When we started to see some progress, I

think it really helped son realize that he could get better.

Sue

>

> Hi Sue

>

> Thanks so much for taking time to write this out - it's very helpful. I've

been reading Wagner's book and it's so easy to read - I love it. I saw that our

therapist was not doing it the same way but I figured, oh well, I'm paying him

$100/hour - surely he knows what he's doing. Well, I won't go on. How did you

know when you found a good one? What did your old one do that you finally

figured was wrong?

>

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

The first dtr we went to: I told him it's ocd, ds had all the classic symtoms.

The dtr never addressed it in a month, keep doing talk therapy, suggested ds had

issues with his dad, talked to him about girls. My ds would come out of the

appts and say to me when is he going to help me. Then dtr told me to just bring

son in for appt after school, ds won't have time for his most important

compulsion. Dtr actualy said to me anxiety is a good thing. Then I realized

this dtr had no idea of the anxiety ocd causes if he was going to make ds face

hardest thing with no preparation. We never went back.

The good dtr: First phone call, knew exactly what I was dealing with, told

me how to handle til first appt. At first appt, explained ocd to ds & I, this

was first time ds had heard all the details about ocd. Just hearing that was a

huge relief for my ds. That ocd makes you do things that don't make sense,

brain chemical disorder, it can get better. Even gave us a time frame/goal that

in 12 weeks he should be 70% better. That book has a list of ?s to ask

potential dtrs on pg 191. The good dtr answered all those ?s for me in the

first phone call/visit and I didn't even have to ask.

Ds went along from the beginning, he knew he really needed help and wanted the

help. He was resistant with doing the erp, mostly complaining that he didn't

want to do it, but I had to stick to it and was able to get it done with him.

And ds knew he'd have to answer to the dtr at the next appt. We both had alot

of confidence in this dtr.

As far as the heirarchy list, ds's list was all different items/places in the

house that were contaminated. Then each was ranked by how much anxiety it

caused ds. We started with the lowest(easiest) one, when that was accomplished,

then on to the next item up the list. When we started to see some progress, I

think it really helped son realize that he could get better.

Sue

>

> Hi Sue

>

> Thanks so much for taking time to write this out - it's very helpful. I've

been reading Wagner's book and it's so easy to read - I love it. I saw that our

therapist was not doing it the same way but I figured, oh well, I'm paying him

$100/hour - surely he knows what he's doing. Well, I won't go on. How did you

know when you found a good one? What did your old one do that you finally

figured was wrong?

>

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

The first dtr we went to: I told him it's ocd, ds had all the classic symtoms.

The dtr never addressed it in a month, keep doing talk therapy, suggested ds had

issues with his dad, talked to him about girls. My ds would come out of the

appts and say to me when is he going to help me. Then dtr told me to just bring

son in for appt after school, ds won't have time for his most important

compulsion. Dtr actualy said to me anxiety is a good thing. Then I realized

this dtr had no idea of the anxiety ocd causes if he was going to make ds face

hardest thing with no preparation. We never went back.

The good dtr: First phone call, knew exactly what I was dealing with, told

me how to handle til first appt. At first appt, explained ocd to ds & I, this

was first time ds had heard all the details about ocd. Just hearing that was a

huge relief for my ds. That ocd makes you do things that don't make sense,

brain chemical disorder, it can get better. Even gave us a time frame/goal that

in 12 weeks he should be 70% better. That book has a list of ?s to ask

potential dtrs on pg 191. The good dtr answered all those ?s for me in the

first phone call/visit and I didn't even have to ask.

Ds went along from the beginning, he knew he really needed help and wanted the

help. He was resistant with doing the erp, mostly complaining that he didn't

want to do it, but I had to stick to it and was able to get it done with him.

And ds knew he'd have to answer to the dtr at the next appt. We both had alot

of confidence in this dtr.

As far as the heirarchy list, ds's list was all different items/places in the

house that were contaminated. Then each was ranked by how much anxiety it

caused ds. We started with the lowest(easiest) one, when that was accomplished,

then on to the next item up the list. When we started to see some progress, I

think it really helped son realize that he could get better.

Sue

>

> Hi Sue

>

> Thanks so much for taking time to write this out - it's very helpful. I've

been reading Wagner's book and it's so easy to read - I love it. I saw that our

therapist was not doing it the same way but I figured, oh well, I'm paying him

$100/hour - surely he knows what he's doing. Well, I won't go on. How did you

know when you found a good one? What did your old one do that you finally

figured was wrong?

>

[Guest guest]

Sue - thanks for your answers!! Do you mean that your ds did not see all things

as equally contaminated once he touched them from school? My ds says everything

is equally dirty from an ink pen to the couch - would be a 10 to touch any of

them. Therapist did not want me to be there during appts so was hard for me to

even know where son was mentally by the end of the appt. He often did not

remember a lot therapist said. I'm so glad you found this good dtr. Mostly it's

social workers in our area who are doing ocd work.

Rhonda

Re: Sue - Erp

Rhonda,

The first dtr we went to: I told him it's ocd, ds had all the classic symtoms.

The dtr never addressed it in a month, keep doing talk therapy, suggested ds had

issues with his dad, talked to him about girls. My ds would come out of the

appts and say to me when is he going to help me. Then dtr told me to just bring

son in for appt after school, ds won't have time for his most important

compulsion. Dtr actualy said to me anxiety is a good thing. Then I realized this

dtr had no idea of the anxiety ocd causes if he was going to make ds face

hardest thing with no preparation. We never went back.

The good dtr: First phone call, knew exactly what I was dealing with, told me

how to handle til first appt. At first appt, explained ocd to ds & I, this was

first time ds had heard all the details about ocd. Just hearing that was a huge

relief for my ds. That ocd makes you do things that don't make sense, brain

chemical disorder, it can get better. Even gave us a time frame/goal that in 12

weeks he should be 70% better. That book has a list of ?s to ask potential dtrs

on pg 191. The good dtr answered all those ?s for me in the first phone

call/visit and I didn't even have to ask.

Ds went along from the beginning, he knew he really needed help and wanted the

help. He was resistant with doing the erp, mostly complaining that he didn't

want to do it, but I had to stick to it and was able to get it done with him.

And ds knew he'd have to answer to the dtr at the next appt. We both had alot of

confidence in this dtr.

As far as the heirarchy list, ds's list was all different items/places in the

house that were contaminated. Then each was ranked by how much anxiety it caused

ds. We started with the lowest(easiest) one, when that was accomplished, then on

to the next item up the list. When we started to see some progress, I think it

really helped son realize that he could get better.

Sue

>

> Hi Sue

>

> Thanks so much for taking time to write this out - it's very helpful. I've

been reading Wagner's book and it's so easy to read - I love it. I saw that our

therapist was not doing it the same way but I figured, oh well, I'm paying him

$100/hour - surely he knows what he's doing. Well, I won't go on. How did you

know when you found a good one? What did your old one do that you finally

figured was wrong?

>

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

Ds's list ranged from items at a 4 to 10. It might be harder if everything is a

10. But with really difficult items, sometimes we would just have the

contaminated item in a ziploc bag and have it in the same room with him. For

example, if he was on the computer, there would be a dirty school shirt in a

ziploc bag, sitting in the corner of the room. Then eventually bag would sit on

the desk next to him.

At each dtr appt, I went in for the last ten minutes to hear what they worked on

and what I was suppose to work on the next week with ds. Also gave me a chance

to ask questions and tell dtr how things were going. Dtr was great in modifying

the erp like above, but also he knew when to push ds without going to fast. Dtr

had a erp homework sheet each week. It had the erp task at the top, along with

a chart for me to fill out with ds's anxiety #s. This gave us clear directions

and something we would bring back to the next appt.

If you don't think your son's therapist is experienced in treating ocd, I'd try

to find one that is. If I had not read that book, I would have wasted even more

time with that first dtr and totally believe my ds would be in really bad shape.

An expericenced therapist made all the difference in the world for us.

Sue

>

> Sue - thanks for your answers!! Do you mean that your ds did not see all

things as equally contaminated once he touched them from school? My ds says

everything is equally dirty from an ink pen to the couch - would be a 10 to

touch any of them. Therapist did not want me to be there during appts so was

hard for me to even know where son was mentally by the end of the appt. He often

did not remember a lot therapist said. I'm so glad you found this good dtr.

Mostly it's social workers in our area who are doing ocd work.

> Rhonda

>

>

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

Ds's list ranged from items at a 4 to 10. It might be harder if everything is a

10. But with really difficult items, sometimes we would just have the

contaminated item in a ziploc bag and have it in the same room with him. For

example, if he was on the computer, there would be a dirty school shirt in a

ziploc bag, sitting in the corner of the room. Then eventually bag would sit on

the desk next to him.

At each dtr appt, I went in for the last ten minutes to hear what they worked on

and what I was suppose to work on the next week with ds. Also gave me a chance

to ask questions and tell dtr how things were going. Dtr was great in modifying

the erp like above, but also he knew when to push ds without going to fast. Dtr

had a erp homework sheet each week. It had the erp task at the top, along with

a chart for me to fill out with ds's anxiety #s. This gave us clear directions

and something we would bring back to the next appt.

If you don't think your son's therapist is experienced in treating ocd, I'd try

to find one that is. If I had not read that book, I would have wasted even more

time with that first dtr and totally believe my ds would be in really bad shape.

An expericenced therapist made all the difference in the world for us.

Sue

>

> Sue - thanks for your answers!! Do you mean that your ds did not see all

things as equally contaminated once he touched them from school? My ds says

everything is equally dirty from an ink pen to the couch - would be a 10 to

touch any of them. Therapist did not want me to be there during appts so was

hard for me to even know where son was mentally by the end of the appt. He often

did not remember a lot therapist said. I'm so glad you found this good dtr.

Mostly it's social workers in our area who are doing ocd work.

> Rhonda

>

>

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

Ds's list ranged from items at a 4 to 10. It might be harder if everything is a

10. But with really difficult items, sometimes we would just have the

contaminated item in a ziploc bag and have it in the same room with him. For

example, if he was on the computer, there would be a dirty school shirt in a

ziploc bag, sitting in the corner of the room. Then eventually bag would sit on

the desk next to him.

At each dtr appt, I went in for the last ten minutes to hear what they worked on

and what I was suppose to work on the next week with ds. Also gave me a chance

to ask questions and tell dtr how things were going. Dtr was great in modifying

the erp like above, but also he knew when to push ds without going to fast. Dtr

had a erp homework sheet each week. It had the erp task at the top, along with

a chart for me to fill out with ds's anxiety #s. This gave us clear directions

and something we would bring back to the next appt.

If you don't think your son's therapist is experienced in treating ocd, I'd try

to find one that is. If I had not read that book, I would have wasted even more

time with that first dtr and totally believe my ds would be in really bad shape.

An expericenced therapist made all the difference in the world for us.

Sue

>

> Sue - thanks for your answers!! Do you mean that your ds did not see all

things as equally contaminated once he touched them from school? My ds says

everything is equally dirty from an ink pen to the couch - would be a 10 to

touch any of them. Therapist did not want me to be there during appts so was

hard for me to even know where son was mentally by the end of the appt. He often

did not remember a lot therapist said. I'm so glad you found this good dtr.

Mostly it's social workers in our area who are doing ocd work.

> Rhonda

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sue,

Thanks, that makes a lot of sense. Being able to see what ds can handle when,

rather than having the hierarchy so cut and dried. I thought if we ever got into

the ERP, this therapist would take off and get things working. And I was so

hopeful, sometimes it can be hard to accept it's not working.

I have another good therapist option, but son has to be able to get changed and

drive there, which he can't right now. So while we're waiting for treatment

center option to work out, I'm going to give another try to ERP here at home,

based on all I have learned in the last four (!?) days on this board. Thanks

again to all for the crash course and for all the love that's been shared!!

warmly

Rhonda

Re: Sue - Erp

Rhonda,

Ds's list ranged from items at a 4 to 10. It might be harder if everything is

a 10. But with really difficult items, sometimes we would just have the

contaminated item in a ziploc bag and have it in the same room with him. For

example, if he was on the computer, there would be a dirty school shirt in a

ziploc bag, sitting in the corner of the room. Then eventually bag would sit on

the desk next to him.

At each dtr appt, I went in for the last ten minutes to hear what they worked

on and what I was suppose to work on the next week with ds. Also gave me a

chance to ask questions and tell dtr how things were going. Dtr was great in

modifying the erp like above, but also he knew when to push ds without going to

fast. Dtr had a erp homework sheet each week. It had the erp task at the top,

along with a chart for me to fill out with ds's anxiety #s. This gave us clear

directions and something we would bring back to the next appt.

If you don't think your son's therapist is experienced in treating ocd, I'd

try to find one that is. If I had not read that book, I would have wasted even

more time with that first dtr and totally believe my ds would be in really bad

shape. An expericenced therapist made all the difference in the world for us.

Sue

>

> Sue - thanks for your answers!! Do you mean that your ds did not see all

things as equally contaminated once he touched them from school? My ds says

everything is equally dirty from an ink pen to the couch - would be a 10 to

touch any of them. Therapist did not want me to be there during appts so was

hard for me to even know where son was mentally by the end of the appt. He often

did not remember a lot therapist said. I'm so glad you found this good dtr.

Mostly it's social workers in our area who are doing ocd work.

> Rhonda

>

>